I’ve been obsessed with this idea since u first read the new SVSSS extra because it’s SO MESSY. (I know we don’t know how old SY is but I’m making the decision for the funniest outcome)
Finding each other out before all the big novel plot points happen. Can you imagine just how bigger a crash out lbh would have lmaooo also rip mbj’s trust issues fr
Exes before transmigration rediscovering the Spark while in the middle of svsss’ bullshit. Shenanigans, misunderstandings, sqq’s harem drinking vinegar
The Most Unhinged Fourway Polycule™️
Lbh and mbj accept cumplane’s toxic queer platonic bullshit. They build compounds near each other (there is a connecting passageway)
Successfully running away in mushroom bodies. They find an isolated village and adopt a kid. Cue lbh and mbj losing their minds
Gaslight themselves into thinking their psychosexual relationship is for Survival. Just solid Bros helping each other out. Don’t mind the bodies strewn about
SY thinks he’s sqh’s sponsor/top donor. Sqh fully believes he has acquired a shy but prickly sugar daddy
Xianxia underworld Bigshot sqh x Sheltered young master sy turned traveling cultivator
Everyone Knows They’re Dating But Them™️
Are They Dating? Worse, They’re Idiots™️
Bingqiu but sqh is the accepted sidechick. Moshang but sqq is the accepted Concubine
“How DARE you bully MY emotional support punching bag?”
Lbh is sqh’s self-insert. Sqq finds out
Sqh smitten and horny over sy’s memory and critique of his—oh wait that’s canon
Mobei Jun and Luo Binghe in PIDW have such homoerotic potential and they aren't even mentioned much together
But what we get is a loyal assassin and right hand man of the mad god who rules the world and it's dripping with queer coded homoerotic subtext
They probably have fantastic violent sex as well
And then SVSSS Mobei Jun sleeps through important meetings and complains about fighting and Luo Binghe is deeply tired by his nonsense and repeatedly begs him to stop saying words in his direction
Also SVSSS Mobei would absolutely be smug at PIDW Mobei. Why? He has a Qinghua! Does OG Mobei have a Qinghua? No! Why? Because he biffed it and killed his Qinghua! He doesn't even know how to properly hit a human without breaking them! Pathetic. What a loser!
And Bingmei is smug because he has the love of his Shizun and is the Best Housewife/Son ever! That imposter will never understand what it's like to truly be loved and fullfilled
Yet both of them suck at sex
The fact that the more emotionally fulfilling the relationship in SVSSS are the more shit they are at sex (at least at first) is really funny to me
Like I think if Cumplane got together it would be like something in their souls snapping together like magnets or puzzle pieces....but they might potentially kill each other with bad sex
can't get behind any take that cumplane would be together in a world that contains mbj and lbh. however im not sure how you could read svsss without concluding that they are soulmates - having died because of each other, crossed worlds, and found each other again. granted all of that happened in the stupidest way possible but it's there in the text! they are soulmates. they are soulmates.
The man’s face is square and handsome, the slopes and planes of it as if he’s been painstakingly chiseled out of stone into a perfect statue, every flaw sanded away. Long, dark brown hair like a waterfall with traces of silver in it like more embroidery, and a crown fit for an emperor to complete the image of the unearthly, divine cultivator stepping down from the heavens to grace the mortals with his presence.
Except that he is staring at Shen Jiu with wide, devastated eyes, his face pale and stricken, and Shen Jiu doesn’t know why except that it’s bad.
chat how do we feel about a (very self-indulgent, probably a bit or more OOC) au of scumplane temporary amnesia where SJ wakes up not remembering a huge chunk of his memories
He wakes up in Qian Cao peak with SQH laying next to his bedside, who abruptly wakes up once he notices SJ being conscious
SJ, who only has a slight gist of who he is now, is obviously cautious. Though, SQH doesn't notice this because SJ is going along with the conversation. So all goes more or less smoothly for SJ's side, he decides to observe for now.
But then days pass and SQH still fusses over him, gossips around him, treats him with no hidden ill intentions, knows a lot about him that he didn't even notice himself or bothered telling anyone.
If there's one primary thing that confuses him more than anything, it's Shang Qinghua's unrestrained loyalty; his tendency to speak up for him when their fellow peak lords have yet another accusation, his consistent insistence of standing by his side even when everything is against him.
Then, SJ notices more. SQH's things in his home, and his things in SQH's, their disciples not batting an eye when either one of them visits the other—as though it's a routine, the matching tassels they have that are clearly a work of SJ's hands, the way Shen Jiu's body doesn't even reject the act of SQH being so close.
And most importantly, SQH calling him by "A-Jiu".
Shen Jiu finally reached a conclusion after nights of spiraling.
Of course, who else could SQH be if not his husband? Then Shen Jiu starts experimenting—reaching out for SQH's hands under the table, taking SQH out for meals, letting SQH ride on his sword otw to his peak, braiding SQH's hair when he visits
And he's confirmed it.
Because Sqh doesn't even so much as raise a brow. he gives him smiles, reciprocated touches, he braids his hair back, he even orders meals he thinks SJ would enjoy and he turns out to be right.
And Shen Jiu? He's not entirely sure how to deal with all of this newfound knowledge. Still, he's found himself growing more fond of the An Ding peak lord, with or without the memories. He leaves early that morning to buy melon seeds for his endearing husband.
Meanwhile, SQH is so confused why his snarky shixiong has been less snarky towards him lately but oh well, maybe it's the perks of being the villain's close friend.
Hii! I have a question☝️🤓 about your divorced cumplane cohabiting au.
Is your last installment in the series implying that aeroplane and cucumber were switched at birth in the hospital. Because i'm stupid I assumed it was like a cumplane have twins and the twins are BIngge and Bingmei. Which one is it? I REALLY love your au btw, your divorced cumplane is elite.
sorry yes i did a whole write up about this headcanon in the early days of my blog, placeholder where i'll hopefully find the link, where i was making my case that the most likely age difference between airplane and cucumber, pre transmigration, is negligible, so the funniest outcome then is that they were switched at birth
this au, with them having such relevant backstory, is the first where i feel like i can incorporate it as more than a weird throwaway element
binghe is an only child in this and hyperattached to cucumber, the only dad he knew until suddenly picking up this homeless pencil who is allergic to calling people anything but "bro". a bingge and bingmei Parent Trap au WOULD be suuuper funny tho, someone else absolutely should write that
so i'm super loving the idea that cumplane have each other to their houses when they're dating in high school (before the divorce) and their families immediately clock onto the fact that this other child looks more like what a child of this marriage might/has historically looked like than their child that brought home this other child to "meet the parents" (actually just an unfortunate consequence of being minors who live at home in said minors eyes).
and this causes Problems — airplane's parents divorce, final straw that breaks the camel's back style, and just. the frostiest most uncomfortable home life at the shen homestead, really pushes cucumber bro into wanting to move out the second he legally can, which exacerbate the whole The Problems that lead to single dad cucumber
meanwhile the children in question already knew they had the same birthday and, rather critically, see each other alongside both sets of parents, so it's just a matter of figuring out that they were also born at the same hospital within, say, an hour, and its easy to guess the switched at birth situation
binghe, meanwhile, actually looks like what an affair between members of these couples would look like, and is everyone's darling until he learns to talk (he is both his fathers' son after all)
so shen yuan is teaching his son luo binghe how to drive when he instructs him to pull over next to this unfortunate dressed in an ill fitting pencil costume, which would normally 1000% be something dad would avoid. dad has binghe throw on his hazards and then gets into the strangest argument with pencil man, whispering like lbh isn't right!!! there!!! (think shawn and gus from psych, my prototypical 'mostly amicable exes' template)
sy: what have you gotten yourself into this time, airplane?
airplane? pencil guy: what makes you think i've gotten into anything? you're real judgey
sy: there's no businesses on this corner for you to be advertising, and no other good reason to be dressed as a fucking pencil.
airplane: maybe!!! i'm catching a ride!! to a costume party!!!
sy: you know what? i don't wanna know. take that shit off and get in the backseat
airplane: why would i? why would you even offer?
sy: obviously you wouldn't demean yourself to this shady bullshit if you weren't desperate for money, and i'm not gonna have the father of my child homeless or in jail for getting caught in some stupid shit when i have the space, what the fuck!! get in the car already, binghe did really well on his first time driving and we're getting milkshakes about it
airplane (has not eaten since wednesday): ... and fries, right? (aka maybe i can get some calories in this week)
sy (thinking this is sentimental bc airplane made a big deal about dipping ff into milkshakes once): obviously, we're not philistines! (aka yes airplane i did my best to raise my kid with influence from both sides of his family DESPITE THE CIRCUMSTANCES)
lbh (internally): if my other parent is a guy then why does my dad act like (montage of his entire life)(you all know how sy likes to yap)
that's about how the dream ends but the vibes are like. sy's family mostly doesn't give a fuck as long as he takes care of the kid, they didn't abandon sy through all his shit bc having a kid is a Commitment. that being said they're not particularly helpful? they show up for birthday parties and invite them for xmas and sy is sure if he could move home if he had to but there's no time or money on offer. (part of this is that sy is a very proud man and his family don't want to step on his toes.) so like. it's basically been sy and (probably actually surnamed shen) lbh against the world.
AIRPLANE'S family on the other hand.
1) 100% they're the reason he's so broke. "cup of noodles every day" airplane is well capable of living within his means, he has a day job as a cpa thru all of this, so they fucked him up somehow. his tuition? taking out loans in his name? idk but they're just. the worst. okay? they're very concerned about their image and somehow this is supposed to justify literal crimes against their firstborn
2) they tried to take custody of lbh from sy. college age kids are too young to be having babies of their own! this backfired on them bc this is an area where sy WOULD stomp on his pride and ask for help, he doesn't know how to hire lawyers. and while i think both families are comfortable, the shens have more money + are talking to the parent on that side + are willing to have all 3 sets of grandparents visit + aren't being weird and like babyifying grown adults so sy keeps binghe and tries to like. invite them to his birthday and stuff? and they block his number. obviously this is a plot to try and get sy in trouble but he isn't afraid to send the invites to their workplaces via certified mail (only thing he can think of) and SOMEONE signs for it so. yeah. (i read a lot of reddit drama i am farming ALL OF IT)
2.5) maybe one side of airplane's schtick is infertile or already fixed and that's part of it? (have seen it Just Because online but trying to clean up sleeping me's worldbuilding) so the money stuff on say mom+stepdad and the custody stuff on say dad+stepmom? more family = more avenues for drama
anyway by this point sy realizes that there was outside interference in whatever broke him and airplane up but his number's been shut off and he can't find a workplace or anything for him so it's just. he's got work (probably takes a job at the family company now that he has a komid to worry about. its not fulfilling but it keeps his baby fed) + raising his bingbun to worry about. until suddenly he sees airplane and wants answers!!! i see them eventually moving airplane into the guest room and navigating that being the crux of the story
part of me wants to age binghe down a bit to like second grade to make the crimes less severe on all sides but part of me really likes binghe being a whole ass person capable of rejecting airplane on his own and having to navigate that his dad just unilaterally gave this weirdo a second chance without consulting him. more drama = more story idk
✈️, dragging lbh to a balcony somewhere: let me just take the boy out for some air
lbh, trying to rip his grandparents a new one: i'm not done lemme at em
[outside, door shut]
✈️: look, lil bro: those aren't just your shitty grandparents, those are your dad's employers
lbh: but—
✈️: not only that, but they're also his backup plan if shit hits the wall to keep you from being homeless
lbh: ....but that's the bare minimum
✈️: that's how your dad raised you. look at him, look at them, do you really think they all have the same values?
lbh: but they treat him like shit
✈️: from their perspective, he spent years talking shit about them, ruining their precious ~public image~, and then the second things got hard he came back begging for help. yes, they're gonna give him shit about it. he knew that when he signed up for it, but he puts up for it for you, because you're his priority. don't make it worse for him than it has to be.
lbh: 😢
✈️, awkward shoulder hugging: we'll all talk shit in the car, when it's safe to, okay?
if we're calling this the gilmore girls au, airplane is weirdly the kirk? always has a new hustle (he actually has a really nice day job and shen yuan isn't really charging him rent so he can focus on getting his shit paid, but also he gets bored easily and is a little content brained so he can't just start a hobby without trying to monetize it) that their extended social circle just kind of entertains as a novelty for a week or two before moving on, and he seems absolutely socially inept but also he's so ride or die that given the chance he uses all of his assorted skills from all his 'failed jobs' that he just, idk, throws together a whole night market for a weekend so the crew can frame up their work in a somewhat professional setting or something. he knows people.
sqq is of course our notorious unreliable narrator, but I want to give a shoutout to sqh for Also being a massive liar. I love that when sqq tells him his handle was Peerless Cucumber he's like "hm yeah I vaguely recognize that name" and then when we get to the Airplane extras, it's revealed that the whole reason he died was because he was too excited by the opportunity to piss Peerless Cucumber off and has since then been haunted by sexually charged nightmares of the guy
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