Ephesians 4:31-32

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

[cumulonimbus-cloud]

A heartfelt apology.

This is dedicated to a person that meant a lot to me.

Maybe you don’t want to talk to me. So I’d like to at least explain in an open letter.

Even though I wanted to show you I cared, I’ve made many mistakes. I’ve learned from them. I don’t want it to be too late – we are both only human, we’ve both made mistakes. Everything you said you’ve done wrong, I already forgave you for a long time ago, and I still love you as my best friend. We’ve had a closeness lasting years and the last rough patch we had isn’t worth throwing away something like that.

I’ve wanted to support you through everything in the years to come. Your words mean a lot to me and I’m sorry if it ever seemed like they didn’t. They always did. I always wanted to believe you, and I admit that some days it was harder to be reassured because I’d have other things going on.

That aside, I want to support your writing ambitions, your filming. I wanted to help you through the problems you encountered, just like you were there for me in the last month during one of the scariest times in my life, and I appreciated that more than anything.

You know me well enough to know that I wasn’t out to hurt you. I don’t try to insult you or make you feel like a bad person because I wouldn’t want to do something to consciously hurt you – and you’re not a bad person. At all. I protected you from other people who I worried was looking for you.

One of my worst transgressions was upsetting you the way I did. Although I never intended to hurt you, I realise I still did that night, and I acknowledge that I’ve committed my most regrettable action yet.

Had I gotten the chance to relive that night again, I would have simply given you some space for a while. Things were hectic. It was not the best time and I was not in my right mind. I know you wanted to try, and I did and still do, but I never expressed that properly. I never said I wanted to end things that way. I’d lost hope for a moment, but I didn’t know it was going to result in this.

I’ve learned my lesson, and if you were to give me a chance, I would never do it again, I swear on the Bible.

I’ve never made a promise. This is the only one I’m willing to make and stick to.

Please don’t let this be a horrible end. If it does have to end, I’d like it to be a peaceful one. Please let us at least talk in a civil manner before we have to part.

I miss you. You’re my friend, not my enemy.

[deseos-de-la-via-lactea]

[deseos-de-la-via-lactea]

[emanuelee]

I still miss you.

[a-sad-gay]

Why do I always feel like I’m never good enough for people

[bones-to-perfection]

I don’t have real friends

[thegoodvybe]

[lifeinpoetry]

thirsty, thirsty, desperate to drown if even for a little while, if even for once: to succumb, to be destroyed, to die completely, to fail the way I’ve failed in every particular sense of myself, in every new and beautiful light.

— Paisley Rekdal, from “Strawberry,” Legitimate Dangers: American Poets of the New Century

[harmony]

what do you do when you catch yourself becoming something you swore you hated? when your brain is screaming at you but you’ve gone deaf, and the pit full of snakes just looks like a pit full of ropes.

— god doesn’t like liars either, babe.

[thegoodvybe]

[softgrlfriend]

‘cause it always ends with us hating each other

[thegoodvybe]

[allweareisashes-blog]

Chaos, and the infinite night. The skies are dark and boiling with clouds, lit with an unnatural light. The air is heavily fogged, it is hard to see even objects near by. Fire crackles, such a fire as the world has never known. Fire from the depths, from beyond our sight, it erupts. The edges of the world are sinking, and as they fall, they vanish from our sight. Death and the ruin of many approaches. There are forces beyond our sight causing this. I have seen this, and I have seen their shadowed figures. I cannot perceive their faces. What they desire is unknown. They are not part of our world. Chaos will fall, and we will know ruin and the ending of the night. But what new beginnings there might follow this night, I do not know.

[captivvated-blog]

the world around me seems to be falling in love, and I’m still trying to figure out what love is.

- oh dear (via captivvated-blog)

[promptsforthestrugglingauthor]

Writing Prompt #66

The smile didn’t reach his eyes, but the sorrow certainly did.

[luniapoetry]

“When I go, don’t look at the ground and cry. Instead, remember just how much I loved you, and smile at the sky.”

–because honestly it’s almost as beautiful as you

[thatoneinsecurenerd]

It never really goes away. It’s like a memory: one minute, it’s all you can think about—it’s overwhelming and you feel like you’re drowning in it—and then it simply dries up like a puddle of rain on a sunny day. But, just like the rain and the puddle, the memories will find their way back. There will be another storm, and it will come back—whatever it is. “You experience relief from the drowning sensation for a while. You think that maybe now is the time that everything starts to look up. You think that the memories and the pain have lost their hold on you. But there are sunny days and rainy days, good days and bad days, and the darkness will always come swirling back in. It always comes back, and you will find yourself drowning once more. “In this dark sea of misery, there is only struggle. There are your silent screams and pleas for help that no one hears because you keep sinking beneath the surface. There is you choking on tears and choking on lies before they are allowed to break free. There is you trying your hardest to make it, but no one sees what you can—not like you can—and you are all alone. And there is only the question of whether you wait for the sun to dry out the dark depths you’ve lost yourself in or plunge yourself in far enough that there is no way out. There is fighting or surrendering. “It is hard to want to fight. Why must we fight against ourselves? Don’t we have only half the strength this way? Do we even have half the strength? In some, isn’t it true to say that the darkness has a stronger hold, so there is no doubt that they’re not strong enough to win the battle? “Am I strong enough to win the battle?

excerpt from something i’m writing // 16.07.18 (via thatoneinsecurenerd)