what was the first media that you can consciously remember scaring the piss out of you and giving you nightmares (examples listed are specific to me I was a cowardly ass child)
horror movie you should not have been watching aged fucking eleven (the shining)
horror show your uncle let you watch (buffy, x files)
legitimate children's horror (goosebumps, etc)
adult horror comedy (Beetlejuice, little shop of horrors, etc)
kid show parody horror episode (hash slinging slasher)
"scary" scene from an adventure movie (Jumanji, princess bride, Indiana jones)
I could see why a kid would be scared of that (monsters from sesame Street)
weird commercial that made you scared
not remotely scary comedy (look who's talking, osmosis Jones, etc)
your best friend's older brother's vague description of a horror movie he watche
Anyone else's neurodivergence make them procrastinate on doing things that are really important because you're scared of doing them? And even when you finally decide to do them - putting them somewhere you'll see them so you don't forget - you try one last time to procrastinate but get distracted by the things on the way to the procrastination, so you do the things only to discover that they were so much easier than you thought they'd be?
#dear fic writer moots #do you feel this way too? #🥺
nana i feel like this was not intended for me bc you’ve seen the frothing insanity that takes hold of me 😳but, yes. and i’m not alone.
it’s a universal truth: fic writers will go apeshit for fanart based on their fics. they just do. i could be on my deathbed and if someone showed me art from a scene in my fic i’d backflip into the wall and knock my ass out
I'm so sorry this took so long!! I sprinkled in a bit of a twisted Soulmate AU, and then my mind went on a rampage and created this whole universe and... yeah. I just hope it's worth the read <3
Basically, Patton takes Janus on a date in an attempt to make his ex jealous. With added technology of a Soulmate dating app in a not-so-distant future.
Pairing: Moceit, past Anxceit, past Logicality
Tags: Fake Dating, talk about break-ups, Soulmates but with a twist, Swearing, hope I didn't miss anything!
Word count: 3,177
From this fanfic tropes prompt list!
...
Janus was cruelly reminded of how much he despised going on ‘dates’, in this day and age.
He trampled his fingers on the square wooden table, leaning his chin in his hand and absently glancing around the dimly lit, tackily decorated restaurant. Even the name was tacky: ‘Wining & Dining’, a toddler could have come up with that. All tables were adorned with candles in old-fashioned silver holders and filled with merry couples, some sickeningly connecting their fingertips while hunched over their plates.
Even though Janus had grown so fed up of the oppressive romantic expectations flown at him every day, he’d yet again subjected himself to it in this so-called ‘Courting hot spot’.
It was idiotic to think this trend started out as one of many dating apps, analyzing people’s character, identity, likes and dislikes to match them with supposed ‘soulmates’. That was after Janus had already seen the world around him slip into a Big Brother society, when the all-overseeing government introduced fingerprint identification software in order to keep track of people’s records and personal data.
A world where everything was connected. Even more so than people believed feasible in the 21st century. Data could travel anywhere, be it at your work or in your home or… on your person. People were hypocritically entertained by never-ending controversies about camera’s recording the number of students in classrooms without consent or CCTV footage circulating which followed naive townsfolk on nightly walks right up to their doorstep.
That was the kind of environment of the current age in which the new dating app Eternity seemed to thrive. People needed a distraction, a purpose, to think that new technology wasn’t so bad after all. After making a deal with some high-tech governmental security company, Eternity managed to broaden its scale and include ‘fingerprint matching’ as a new feature to secure people’s new relationship – a feature otherwise quirkily codes as a ‘Spark’. An achievement unlockable if partners included went on their first real-life date, i.e. ‘Courting’.
Janus was this close to feeling his throat tighten from the disgusting modern slang lumping in his mouth, even thinking about it.
“Aw c’mon, this pretend-date isn’t all that bad, right?”
Across from Janus sat an old friend, who’d come to him with a favor the other day that for some reason Janus couldn’t refuse. Patton – the friend in question – wore a light blue dress shirt and grey waist coat, complete with a set of wooden-framed glasses. Those doting eyes of his were burning on Janus’ cheek as he had turned his face away from him.
“We still have another 40 minutes or so before they’re fully closing. Besides… it’s also nice to, you know, catch up a little,” Patton added, and audibly shifted in his chair. “And keep up the star-quality act, of course.”
When he slid his hand over Janus’ again as it rested on the table, Janus grunted awkwardly and shifted his gaze over at the clock. It confirmed Patton’s statement: 15 minutes left before last orders would be called.
“As if your plan is actually working.”
Janus scoffed, pulling back his hand while attempting to hide it by sliding back into his chair and crossed his arms. At least the backs of these leather chairs were comfortable enough. He met Patton’s gaze, his blue eyes sparkling behind his round glasses. He hadn’t changed the curly dark-blond haircut he’d had since high school.
“Don’t you think Logan would have walked over by now, if it did?” Janus asked, raising his eyebrow at Patton. “And left Vi-… his current date behind?”
Placing his name in Janus’ mouth still left a bitter aftertaste.
Like they planned it – and because they were both pathetic and desperate, apparently– Janus and Patton glanced over at their target surreptitiously. The table near the bar counter – Virgil’s purple streaks of hair and pale soft skin juxtaposed (complemented?) the aesthetic of Patton’s ex sitting across from him. Logan wore a dark grey suit with a blue tie that damningly stood out within the red-coded interior of W&D’s.
“Sounds like this has just been a waste of my time.”
Janus grumbled, scrunching his face at Virgil’s softly contented grin at whatever Logan was animatedly expositing about.
“You… can clearlysee they are not at all enamored with each other,” Janus added as he crossed his arms. He tried not to focus on the prolonged eye contact between the two of them. “He hasn’t even glanced our direction all dinner.”
“He did too! He may not look it, but Logan is always very observant of anything going on around him,” Patton pouted, while he swiped his last piece of salmon through the garlic sauce on his plate. Despite the odds, Janus smirked at his smashing the frankly delicious piece of fish to match the sauce’s consistency.
“I remember meeting him for the first time, when we were Courting,” Patton elaborated, continuing to play with his food which was a humorous display in this quasi high-end establishment. “…and he gave me this entire monologue about the way the library we visited organized their books, and how they’d much better use the Dewey Decimal System. All his explanation went over my head, but he just had the sweetest voice and – !”
Patton stopped himself from saying any more. He blushed, having wiped all the remaining sauce from his plate.
“…there’s, there’s plenty of time left for Logan to realize that…” Patton stuffed the fork with his mush of food in his mouth, and Janus grinned at the obvious jealousy written on his face. “…dat he’s missin’ ou’ on someth’n. An’…” he finally gulped down his last bite, “…and then we’ll get back together again. Like we’re meant to.”
“I can’t believe the amount of faith you put in this crooked system,” Janus sighed, leaning forward with both his arms next to his empty plate. Patton had a white smear on the corner of his lips, which Janus gingerly wiped clean with his thumb. He felt a suddenly fastened heartbeat, when Janus realized how soft Patton’s lips were. The way Patton was staring at him, his face still red as a tomato, caused Janus’ lips to relax into a smug grin.
“That’s like saying…” Janus cleared his throat, cleaning his thumb with the fumbled up napkin next to his wine glass. “… that me and Virgil were meant to be. And… look at him now.”
When Patton looked, Janus didn’t. He’d rather have a case of Schrödinger’s Spark, it was and wasn’t there at the same time.
Their exes’ Spark hadn’t happened yet, but they were close alright. If Janus could avoid the sight of Virgil stroking Logan’s fingers, the back of his hand, holding onto it like they did during appetizers half an hour ago... He would. For sure.
He bit the inner side of his cheek.
“Now that is definitely the look of someone who’s jealous.” Janus let out a stifled chuckle, ignoring the corners of his eyes starting to pinch. “…It’s no use. I’ll give them five minutes max. I’ve seen enough people Courting to know how this ends.”
“Hey I’m not Max, I’m Patton!”
A very, veryforced laugh resounded from across the table. To the point that Janus was actually starting to feel pity for Patton. Or maybe… relate to him. Hiding behind humor had become something of a secondary hobby of Janus, too.
“And besides… Logan’s my soulmate.” Patton’s tone of voice shifted drastically. He looked down at his empty plate, twiddling his thumbs. “We Courted, we had our Spark… So he has to come back eventually. We’re meant for each other. He’s the only one for me, and… I’m the one for him. That’s how it goes.”
Janus let out a exasperated sigh. These were the kind of statements that made him question his own sanity, for ever falling into this trap himself years ago.
“Don’t you see how Eternity operates, honey?” Janus leaned both forearms on the table and tilted his head at Patton, who frowned in deliberation. “It matches you with multiple potential soulmates from the get-go, anyway. You only meet up once both parties accept. Which means they basically – ”
“But that’s not the issue!”
Patton raised his voice loud enough to draw some eyes from the tables right next to them. Janus prayed it didn’t travel far enough to reach Virgil and Logan’s. Patton had slammed the palms of his hands on the table to boot – his face turned red as soon as he noticed his volume. Something clouded over his expression, which made Janus feel worse than the potential embarrassment of the scene Patton was making.
“Didn’t you listen when I told you on the phone? We… had connected, we were happy and we loved each other – everything went great and…” Patton took a deep breath, and Janus felt compelled to slide one of his hands across the table towards one of Patton’s. As if a little helper on his shoulder whispered that the ex could be watching, he quickly intertwined his fingers with Patton’s.
His heart fluttered, when Patton met his gaze with bewildered eyes.
“They’re watching, I know it,” Janus murmured, nodding at him. “Go on, I’m listening now.”
“Well, okay… So, this one night he came home from work late and… he seemed so confused.” Patton’s eyes were downcast again – the buzzling of the other tables around them grew quiet, and Janus tightened his grip around Patton’s fingers. “He didn’t want to talk to me, or- or touch me. When I finally got him to speak again, our Sparks didn’t work anymore and he kept saying he didn’t… He no longer…”
Janus pulled Patton’s hand towards him, holding it more firmly and enclosing it with his other hand. He would have though he didn’t miss the sensation of holding hands with someone. He thought he didn’t need it.
But Patton’s hand was warm. Virgil’s were always cold.
“How… was it for you and Virgil, anyway? The break-up, and all that?” For the sake of deflecting his own heartbreak, Patton stabbed Janus with the haunting question he wished to avoid at all costs. Not because he was jealous or anything.
Definitely not.
“…We had it coming.”
Janus’ hands froze as they cupped Patton’s, and he felt his fingers tingling from the cold.
“Neither of us had a lot of faith in Eternity, to begin with. I was just screwing around with people, after being robed into it by some classmates in college. And Virgil…” Janus swallowed, he bit his lip and retracted his hands. He tapped his right hand’s nails into his fingertips of his left. If only he could scrape histouch out of those fingerprints.
“I was his first. Actual… date, I mean. We didn’t expect a ‘Spark’ after we… ended the date, but… ‘wow look at that, science prescribed us to be soulmates apparently, so I guess we’ll just run off to this random alleyway and seal the deal for real’.”
Janus scoffed sheepishly. It helped to make it sound ridiculous. Less credulous, even though they lived in a world where situations like these had become the new standard. And more incredulously… Janus actually bought into it, the trap Eternity had been laying with their ‘eternal partner’ bullshit, not long after Virgil did.
“You – you loved him though, didn’t you?” Patton shoved his plate aside, crawling his hands over the table again closer to Janus. The air between them had gotten tense and permeating, all of a sudden. “Don’t think I can’t see the way you sneak a glance at him, still. Or talk about him.”
“That’s guilt, Patton.”
Janus shot daggers at Patton through his gaze, feeling his chest burn from tearing it open and revealing his mess of a heart. Patton and him may have been close during their teens, but they’d lived different lives since then. He couldn’t possibly understand.
And yet… Janus kept talking.
“It feels like… I made Virgil fall for me, made him become dependent on me just by messing with him like I always tend to do with people. He played along with my attitude and tapped into those little things I taunted him with and… God, I ignored this creeping feeling that we used those Sparks as a boost of oxytocin or dopamine or what have you. Something about it wasn’t natural…and yet we kept forcing it even if we – ”
“Would you like to order anything else?”
Neither of them had noticed a waitress walking up to their table. She nudged her face all the way up close to Janus’ cheek, and although Patton had basically been doing the same thing, this was the moment Janus gave in to that smothering burning in his chest.
“Give me some fucking space, will you?!”
The waitress bounced back, a slight gasp escaping her mouth. She muttered a quiet ‘we’ll be closing soon’ before practically storming off to the bar.
“I’m sorry, I – I shouldn’t have asked,” Patton replied apologetically. Janus had his glare frozen on the empty plate in front of him. He had yelled loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear him, surely.
Virgil must count himself lucky to have ‘escaped’ from someone aggressive like –
“Take a deep breath, okay?”
And that was where Janus’ space ended. He found Patton’s palm cupping his cheek, then stroking the hair behind his ear. He did it gently and carefully, but seemed to put an exceeding amount of thought into his movements to make them appear rhythmical.
“…They’re watching, aren’t they?”
Janus mumbled and bit his inner cheeks again, trying to collect his composure and play along – act along like he always did, toying with people’s feelings and the perception they had of him. He looked into Patton’s eyes. And took a breath.
It was like his eyes were smiling back at him.
“…I don’t know. Probably.”
Patton shrugged, and kept on raking his fingers through Janus’ hair, tucking some small locks behind his ear over and over. It was redundant and cheesy… and so calming and soft that Janus couldn’t tell him to stop.
“But I guess our mission failed. Neither of them came over, and they might have…”
A bolt of realization struck the both of them. They hadn’t been paying attention if something happened.
Leaning back in their chair, they both took one final glance at the table near the bar with a lot less tact this time.
…Logan and Virgil were already getting up to leave. And they both sternly looked away towards the exit, the moment Patton and Janus glanced over.
They spotted them glaring, for sure. Way to make it more awkward. Luckily, they didn’t react in any significant way afterwards, and simply proceeded to the counter to pay.
“Do you think they had a Spark?” Patton asked carefully, sorrow bottled up in his throat which made his words sound more elongated. Janus registered the tingling of his cheek, then stood up from his seat.
“There was a spark, alright.” He grabbed his coat hanging over the backrest of his chair, sliding both arms through his sleeves as Patton got up as well. “I don’treally care of what nature, honestly. And… I don’t think you should, either.”
Patton had worn a puffy winter coat with such a bright blue, that it seemed almost childish in this décor. It was hilariously endearing, in a way. Janus cracked a small smile.
“Whatever it was, it shows Eternity’s soulmate science isn’t as flawless as it claims to be,” Janus said, as he noticed Patton repressing a sob, pursing his lips into a tight grin as he moved over to Janus’ side of the table. “A shame that society is still obsessed with it. No use trying to get to the bottom of their faulty fingerprint matchmaking.”
Patton was really close now. Other customers were gradually leaving the restaurant, Logan and Virgil had gotten swallowed in the crowd as well. Though this was the one time Janus didn’t feel like he had to pull himself away from letting his attention drift towards him.
“Not… not on my own, anyway.”
Janus experienced an odd rush of relief, when he saw Patton’s cheeky smile to his statement. It reminded Janus of the ones that always gave Patton those dimples in his cheeks, whenever they laughed together at school.
“Yeah, maybe you’re right.”
Patton connected the tips of his fingers with those of Janus’ left hand, like warm cushions that shouldn’t have made Janus as jumpy as it did. He had kept his eyes locked on Patton’s for a lot longer than he had all evening.
“It’s hard to ignore, when it’s all you see people do. But…” Patton’s tone of voice was mellow and almost entrancing, as they continued to rub their fingertips together. Without anything happening. “…there’s something nice about not caring. A bit unusual maybe, but I still enjoyed this… pretend-date. I guess, spending time with you was nice too. I kinda missed your company.”
If anything, Janus found himself growing tired the more they kept standing together like that fingertips connected. Janus remembered with Virgil, he felt chemicals oozing through his brain and he clasped Virgil’s hand in his and pulled him out of the cinema.
He wouldn’t pretend that that instant connection with Virgil’s everything wasn’t magnetic, or pleasant, or passionate.
But he also wouldn’t pretend that he hadn’t just sealed both his and Virgil’s fates. And these fates would lead them down a path of more hurt and arguing and insults than they would ever grow to truly love each other.
No… that wasn’t it. Some cold, technical application sealed their fates. And Janus had grown sick of playing along with its rules anymore. He deserved better than that, as did Virgil.
And Patton, as well.
Janus intertwined his fingers with Patton’s again, gripping his hand tightly.
“I missed your company too.”
Patton did another cheeky grin. He looked like he was down for disregarding the latest social norm that you could only ever engage in such intimate hand-in-hand contact with your ‘soulmate’.
“Want to not go on a date again?” Patton winked, as he tugged Janus towards the cash register. The bartender and waitresses followed them unfazed. They could easily pass as ‘soulmates’ at this point.
Fun enough to fool them with this act.
“My my, so impatient,” Janus smirked.
He couldn’t tell what it was, that made him not let go of Patton’s hand. Maybe because a faint foundation of trust was already there from the start. Maybe because they had agreed that it was ‘fake’. His heart was racing nonetheless, on the one hand from the rush of defying authority and knowing he wouldn’t be falling down another ill-fated soulmate rabbit hole.
On the other hand… his stomach twisted at the possibility of exposing himself to that degree to anyone again. Hurting them, getting hurt in return. A downwards spiral of regret.
Patton’s touch made him feel a bit safer, though. Maybe even safe enough… to ask him on another ‘date’.
Okay, I know this is, like, a joke, but picture this...
Of course they debate, because they're a couple of nerds. I imagine that Logan can win every single debate, just because he's got the intellect to see through Janus’s sneaky way of trying to confuse Logan into agreeing with him. But Janus has other sneaky tricks up his sleeve.
Just imagine that if Janus knows he's gonna lose, he closes whatever distance is between him and Logan and kisses him while he's talking. And Logan Sanders is probably such a sucker for any kind of physical affection.
So Janus will just pull away with a pretty, smug smirk on his face and say something along the lines of, "sorry for interrupting you, dear. What was it you were saying?" while Logan's mouth opens and closes like a fish, and Janus would swear you can hear the Microsoft error noises.
And, well, with Logan inarticulate, Janus wins, no?
(Is this already a written fanfic? If it is, someone please link it, I'm begging. If not, I'll gladly write the thing.)
I have thoughts about Role-slaying with Roman, now that I can sit down at my laptop and actually type. So...
1. I know very little about DnD bc I'm not a big game person, in any format, and my sibling was only able to learn and comprehend a little bit of the rules before covid shut down her school's DnD club. So my knowledge actually comes from some of the blogs I follow, because I like to read and learn. So thanks! :) I wasn't completely lost. (Though if someone could explain where the numbers for the modifiers (like the +2 on... something. I should probably re-watch the episode. And the +1 on something else, and the -1 on something else...) come from, that would be greatly appreciated. Though I could just go into a rabbit hole and learn all about DnD and never play it bc, like I said, I don't really play games, and idk anyone who'd play with me anyway.)
2. I've only had absolute fucking himbo Role-slaying!Roman for 4 hours, and I love him, your honor. Same for Youngblood.
3. I don't have any, like, theories like I would for Sanders Sides, just bc I don't know enough about DnD to make any educated guesses about what might happen or about the characters. I'm also not a huge fantasy/adventure person anymore?? But this was a Thomas Sanders creation, so naturally, I watched it and enjoyed it.
4. I've seen people talking about their favorite scenes, and I just wanted to share mine. So one is obviously the scene where Roman and Youngblood first meet. There's another that I can't remember at the moment, but I've seen a lot of screenshots of it, so I imagine it's another common favorite. But then one that I haven't seen any screenshots for is Roman's little "oh my god, I'm missing something. Did that fucker steal my huge ass sword?" dance, patting every part of his body. Bc yeah, everyone's talking about it, but the scene, itself, was just funny to me.
I have no idea how best to communicate this, but there should be a Side named Ethan.
Let me explain this one.
So it is fully canon that Patton and Logan are named after “pathos” (appealing to emotion) and “logos” (appealing to logic) AKA two of the persuasive appeals coined by Aristotle. The third is “ethos”, which is the act of appealing to one’s character.
So basically I have no idea how this would possibly fit in, but the name is so easily RIGHT THERE and as Patton pointed out, three of the Sides’ names already end in -an/-on, so it fits.
If this was a thing, I don’t think it would be the Orange Side, because the Orange Side has been hinted as being one of the Dark Sides, and so far all the Dark Sides’ names end in -us, and have Roman (like the country) origin
Not really sure what the side would be or how it would even tie into anything, but I think having a side that somehow appeals to character named Ethan (like I said because "ethos”) just makes a lot of sense
now obviously that would break the balance of Dark/Light Sides on either side of Virgil but just think about it that would make Virgil like SO UNCOMFORTABLE like “oh god am I supposed to be back with the Dark Sides now that there’s an uneven balance” idk just something to think about
I feel like I’m onto something but have NO idea where to go from here so Fanders please help a gal out
I was always a firm supporter of the idea that Janus’s name (before we knew his name, obviously), would be Ethan, because of the whole "ethos, pathos, logos" thing. The way I was taught Aristotle's rhetoric (or, at least, the simplified way I remember it) was that ethos was equated with credibility. And as a liar - as deceit...
Idk if - just because of the way the series has progressed - there will be a side with the name Ethan unless Janus, if he gets full acceptance, were to just decide to go by Ethan. Like Janus was a fake name for the sake of his scheming.
Because Janus (the god for which he gets his name) represented something like two doorways, two faces? And if he were to become a light side, his purpose - so to say - would be less about lying and more about how he acts as Thomas's self-preservation. Just like you could say that Virgil, as anxiety, was before more focused on bringing Thomas panic in any situation, and now he tries to bring up concerns he thinks should be made into big deals.
I don't know. I'm writing this while I've got a brief break in a busy day.
Human AU teacher Logan with one thermos of wine, a second thermos of coffee, and a third thermos of water on his desk, and whenever he reaches out in the middle of his teaching a class to take a drink, he fucking plays Russian roulette bc he's not really paying attention to which thermos he's grabbing.
Virgil: I usually go and sit on a surface that isn’t meant to be sat on. Because when tomorrow comes, I will be faced with even more challenges. And I am too overwhelmed to be worrying about what “is” and “is not” a chair.
All we need is Janus and the citrus, then we’ll have the complete set
