this account is archived anyway but like please stop requesting access to my google doc wtf lmao
One Nice Bug Per Day
occasionally subtle

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Misplaced Lens Cap
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Cosmic Funnies
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Jules of Nature
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shark vs the universe

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@curerot-a
this account is archived anyway but like please stop requesting access to my google doc wtf lmao
ELLIE, STOP.
nowalive:
IT’S THE SIREN’S CALL, a brittle blister like picking shrapnel from a healing wound. IT STINGS. Emotional weights drag heavier then the physical, there’s no crutch for a bruise in the places that don’t bleed. Some nights are like PULLING TEETH. Reminders of reality, far from safe walls and leading patrols. . . YOU CAN’T HELP BUT WONDER– Will she think it’s worth it when this is over? WILL YOU?
You can’t stop to ask that question though, can you?
“ Hey. . . long night? ” –A breath, the pause of grogginess “ Yeah. . . Me too. At least Seattle’s nice looking, huh? ”
@curerot· LIKED FOR A STARTER –
sleep is no longer a friend. she longs for jackson, too. wishes the reason she’s deprived of rest were due to a movie night, or stargazing. rough drafts of love songs, pining after dina. now all she can write is about the smell of blood, the rage in her chest. and ellie wonders if that rage will ever go away, or if it will spread unlike that bite on her arm, infect her soul and never let her go. destroy everything in its path. but she feels she can’t stop.
the voice startles her, head whipping in his direction, hand going for her gun -- but it’s just him. ❝ oh. ❞ she relaxes, head bows and fingers wrapping around the railing of the fire escape again. there’s a light shrug, one where she doesn’t even bother looking at the environment. ❝ it’s alright... it’s just so fuckin’ rainy. ❞ depressing. fittingly so. sometimes she likes the rain, mainly for the sounds of raindrops and the smell, but right now it’s just inconvenient.
she pauses for a moment, then finally looks up at him again, like she wants to say something, but it’s caught somewhere in her throat. ❝ hey ... i know you said... your friend’s problems are your problems. but.. this isn’t your problem. if anything happened to you, i seriously wouldn’t forgive myself... so.. if you wanna go back, you can. i won’t be mad. ❞ she just wishes dina would go with him. ❝ i feel like i’ve gotten too many people involved in this. tommy shouldn’t even have went, it should’ve just been me. ❞
contraebandist:
“ hey, that can of beans last night was a fucking feast. ” she bites back, half-smirk only distracted as her gaze wanders to her pack in front of ellie. she nudges towards it with her elbow. “ check the front pocket. should be half a ration bar. tastes like cement – but it’s something. if you’re hungry. ” she regrets knowing she’s left a modest stash of hershey’s bars waiting to be moved in the south tunnel. it’s long behind them now, and joel’s likely to be back with breakfast sooner than later, but it would’ve been nice to be able to give the kid some kinda treat – or a small gesture of one – anyway. she raps the backs of her knuckles softly against her skull, another soft huff of a laugh, before resuming gentler combing, a hair tie held between her teeth. “ yeah, you got the skull of a t-rex. it’s no wonder you ‘n texas get along. want your bangs down or up? ”
she’s ready to brush the beans off, maybe make a comment about how sick of beans she is, when she’s offered something. anything. and she doesn’t wanna sound even more ungrateful than she’s sure she already does, so instead, the bar is fished out and unwrapped. she looks at it for a moment, then breaks it in half and puts the other piece back in the packaging. in case either tess or mr. texas himself end up wanting it. ❝ you know what cement tastes like ? ❞ she couldn’t help herself. but taking a bite .. ❝ never mind. you’re right. ❞ she eats it anyway. grins a little too hard at being compared to a dinosaur. ❝ -- do we ? ❞ mouth full, a few crumbs spill out. she guesses the old man has been warming up to her.. more than when they first met, anyway. ❝ down please. ❞
contraebandist:
“ jesus. what are you eating that makes your hair grow this fast? ” with half a yawn, half a laugh tucked away into the inside of her elbow, tess’ voice is quieter, softer than usual; the last of sleep still draping warmly over consonants, like the sunlight that bleeds through the basement window. she winces apologetically as some coarse & knotted strands get snagged in long fingers as she combs it back; stopping to gently rub the pads of her fingers at her scalp where she suspects she’s yanked. “ if i’m tugging too tight, you let me know, ellie. ”
@curerot / bone apple tea!!!
❝ not enough, i can tell you that. ❞ this is almost a foreign tess -- almost a foreign adult, really. she’s used to the tired tones, either disappointed or annoyed looks. this is a rare occurrence for ellie, and though she’s still cracking a joke, she’s not taking this moment for granted. eyes flutter shut, and despite the slight pain from the tug, she has no complaints. ❝ it’s alright -- i got a hard head. ❞ honestly, she can’t remember the last time she got a chance to brush it .. is that gross ? in this world, who knows.
“ you let me go, i’ll tell you where she is. you can get to her before that infection sets in. ”
“ talk. ”
littlemorals:
VIOLENT. / @curerot· said: [ mock ]
stetson hat atop his head as he & mickey come trotting in , joel would expect nothing less than a jab at his texan roots from ellie . a thick brow raises beneath hat’s rim & joel scoffs before dismounting . “ bet’cha think you’re real cute , don’t ya’ , kiddo ? i’d expect a little more originality , but . . . ” a smirk flashed her way while he grabs the reins , then a beat — a mischievous glint . “ well , if’n you wanna be a cowboy so bad , here . ” his hat’s plopped onto ellie’s head , shoves it down nice & snug . “ kept it good ‘n sweaty for ya’ . ”
before she even gets the chance to proclaim just how cute she does think she is, she’s blinded for a moment. good and sweaty it is. she feels the damp fabric slither against her forehead, almost over her eyes, and holds back a grimace. must not show weakness. instead, with little hesitation, she picks a piece of grass from the ground and sticks it in the edge of her mouth, puts her thumbs through the loops of her jeans and squints. ❝ how do i look ? ❞
❝ looks like you shit yourself. ❞
❝ we could’ve killed you. ❞ -- ❝ maybe you should’ve. ❞
❝ i dont believe in luck. ❞
thinking abt ellie flicking that joint into oblivion to make out w dina
EIGHT PEOPLE I’D LIKE TO GET TO KNOW BETTER!
𝟎𝟏. ( ALIAS / NAME ) —— v 𝟎𝟐. ( BIRTHDAY ) —— june 17 𝟎𝟑. ( ZODIAC SIGN ) —— gemini :3 𝟎𝟒. ( HEIGHT ) —— 5′5 𝟎𝟓. ( HOBBIES ) —— video games, rping, watching movies + tv 𝟎𝟔. ( FAVORITE COLOR ) —— pink ! 𝟎𝟕. ( FAVORITE BOOKS ) —— carrie is my all time fav 𝟎𝟖. ( LAST SONG LISTENED TO ) —— x by poppy 𝟎𝟗. ( LAST FILM OR SHOW WATCHED ) —— the jeffrey epstein doc on netflix 𝟏𝟎. ( INSPIRATION FOR MUSE ) —— a lil bit of canon, a lil bit of projection B) 𝟏𝟏. ( STORY BEHIND URL ) —— she was the cure, and zombies r rotting and stuff,, curerot. also she was the cure, and that’s kinda over bc no more doctors + scientists, so metaphorical rotting cure ,,
TAGGED BY : @littlemorals <333 TAGGING : @statecoins, @hardcorejackson, @falsecop, @apostascy, @runawayscars, @foodtrucks, @smggle / @4thseed , @wefight , and U !!!!
Hey, is this gonna be a thing? Please don’t let it be a thing.
i got on to rb that important post abt the ending of part 2 but OMG ,,, @graphicsanonymously ..... u r such a sweetheart i love u!!!!!
not to be that guy but if what yall took away from that ending was “abby deserved to die brutally and ellie fucked up, she spent the entire game chasing her only to let her go and suddenly be all about forgiveness, now shes all alone” then youre truly looking at this in the most shallow way possible
bc yes, ellies rage came from seeing joel get his head bashed in, but a big part of it also stemmed from the fact that after resenting him and distancing herself from him for so long, she finally decided to try to forgive him and reconnect, and he died before she could do that. when ppl say “ellie needed closure” it doesnt mean “ellie needed to avenge joel” it means “ellie needed to forgive joel, make peace with the fact he lied and took her choice away, and learn to live for herself instead of for some grand purpose.” chasing after abby & crew was definitely partly to avenge joel, but partly it was also anger at taking that first step towards reconciliation and having it ripped away from her.
and the thing about avenging joel is, deep down she probably didnt really explicitly want it. she says “if it were you or me joel would be halfway to seattle already” and “so they just get to get away with this?” and the general vibe i got throughout the game was that thats just what she thinks shes supposed to do. its an obligation, if someone kills your loved one you avenge them and thats that, otherwise its a disservice to the loved one. and we keep seeing that in the game, she just wants abbys location from nora and only takes her out after nora taunts her, and breaks down afterwards. mel and owen? she so desperately just wants information and is visibly scared and uncomfortable and not wanting to do this, and when she kills them its in self sefense and she breaks down again.
and then shes at the farm, having it all, but still not happy. still has ptsd, still gets flashbacks, still gets panic attacks. obviously its because she didnt finish it, right? obviously killing abby would make all her trauma go away, right? so of course when fucking tommy shows up and eggs her on, she goes. “i HAVE to finish it.” theres that sense of obligation again
and its not until theyre on that beach, when shes so desperate for what she thinks is closure she threatens to kill an unconscious child, when she almost kills abby who clearly doesnt wanna fight her, that she realizes this isnt giving her the catharsis she wanted. theres no satisfaction, no feeling of a weight lifting from her shoulders, no certainty that this will make it better, shes just sobbing while choking a woman whos so weak she can barely fight back. THATS why the flasback she gets is not joel with his head open, its him on his porch with his guitar. bc it was never really about avenging his death, it was about forgiving him for what hes done and loving him anyway, even if she had to do it after hes already dead. and him peaceful on his porch is how she wants to remember him, not the gruesome scene she walked into in that house.
(i definitely think seeing abby completely dismiss ellie and immediately check on lev was another layer in her decision. at the point when she realizes its not about revenge, she also realizes she would do to lev what abby did to her, and shes a good fucking person and doesnt want that)
thats why that moment is so big. if she clung to her anger without knowing where its coming from and just mercilessly killed abby, would she have that same realization? would she see that abby was just a convenient target for her frustrated feelings about joel? or would she go back, still traumatized, and not understand why she didnt get closure? why she doesnt feel like she can move on?
EVERYTHING in the epilogue is symbolic of letting go. “if i ever were to lose you, id surely lose myself.” and she did, and now she cant play the song anymore, because her misguided crusade damaged her and because she doesnt wanna lose herself anymore. (also the fucking guitar isnt her only link to joel, their bond is much deeper thsn some inanimate fucking object. plus theres such a thing as left handed guitars. she can relearn). and that final shot, of her leaving the guitar behind and walking forward? the moth on the neck thats always been a symbol for looking for the light? thats her finally getting closure and letting go of all her anger towards both joel and abby, and taking a step towards happiness (shes going to jackson yall cant convince me otherwise). she can finally recover and heal and its not gonna be easy, and its not gonna be fast, but at least now shes able to start.
set of promo images for @curerot! i hope you like these!
IN REGARDS TO PART TWO :
firstly.. unpopular opinion, but i liked the game. i liked the continued focus on grey morality, i liked that we were forced to do things that made us uncomfortable. the parallels between abby and ellie are numerous, as well as the parallels between abby and joel. the point since day one has been grey morality.
joel killed the only doctor capable of creating a vaccine to save someone who wanted to give their life for humanity. ellie was young, naive, and trusted that joel was telling her the truth for a while. i always thought she knew, even a little bit, but truly, she just trusted joel that much. that even though it didn’t make sense, she didn’t see any reason for him to lie to her about something that her knew mattered to her so much. she asked him about it once, and when he swore to her that everything he said was true, she said okay. and when she does start questioning as she gets older, and is met with frustration from joel’s side, along with more lies, she decides to dig deeper. and when she learns the truth, that he stole something so meaningful to her, she begins to resent him.
joel has not always been the type of person to save a stranger like he does with abby in part two. first game joel is not the same person as second game joel. he’s softened. immensely. he softened for ellie, and he softened because he could. or, for the first time in a long time, he felt like he could. he spent 20 years killing and surviving and being selfish for the sake of survival. but i stress, joel has not always been the good guy.
but anyway. back to ellie. she felt joel betrayed her, and she put distance between them. when you have someone you care deeply about but they hurt you, sometimes you begin to resent them. you’re not thinking about if you could lose them. you’re thinking about the pain of what they’ve done to you. losing them is the last thing from your mind because in that time of resentment you’re deciding whether you care to continue a relationship with them. of course, ellie cares. obviously. she was just really, really upset about the lies, and about him taking something so sacred from her. but seeing how much she still means to him, she tells him that whether she can forgive him or not, she’s willing to try. and then, just like that, he’s taken from her.
and none of it mattered anymore. her life, after that, was dedicated, for a time, to avenging him. a newfound purpose. she loved him. hardheaded and selfish or not, joel was the most important person to her. it’s why she even was giving him a second chance in the first place. she’s eaten away with hatred and can’t think about anything else, and if she does, she feels guilty. this is what joel would want, right ? she doesn’t realize until she’s killed and killed and killed, to the point of traumatizing herself, until more friends have been killed, and until she about loses dina and jj, that this isn’t what joel would want. it’s not until abby’s on her last few breaths that she sees his face, hears his guitar, that she knows. he knew what he did. he owned up to what he did. he didn’t regret what he did, but he did it for her. against her wishes, but for her. so for him, she doesn’t kill abby. for lev, the young boy relying on abby for survival, much like she did on joel at that age, she doesn’t kill abby.
she goes home. to dina and jj. to where, hopefully, in time, she can stop seeing the gored up face of the man she saw as a father, and to where she doesn’t have to hurt the living anymore. because she doesn’t have to. she ends the cycle. she’s not going to put lev through what she went through. she’s not going to disrespect joel’s memory with even more bloodshed.
as for my portrayal :
i haven’t written very much of part two ellie, so i’ll address the big differences between part one verse ellie and part two verse(s) ellie.
general part two ellie is closed off. she’s not exactly shy, but she isn’t super big on social interaction. she’s anxious, and she’s become much more introverted. once you break down her walls she’s the same ol’ silly ellie as she’s always been, but otherwise, she’s hesitant to trust. she has her friends ( dina, jesse and cat ) but she likes her solitude. the introversion mainly kicked in after finding out about what really happened with the fireflies. ( so, about age 17. ) she’s depressed. she’s not exactly rude to people outside her small friend group, but you’ll rarely catch a genuine smile. but as always, she a dreamer. she likes art, writing songs and playing guitar. she loves horror and sci-fi. she’s a big nerd.
post part two ellie is even quieter. she sticks to dina like glue, and has moved into joel’s house with her. she spends a lot less time on the streets of jackson and in the diner, and more time either doing patrols or just staying inside. patrols don’t come until later, though. maria is very hesitant to let her back out there, knowing from dina how much trouble ellie’s had with ptsd. sometimes she’ll take jj to the park, but she needs more time to really ease into ‘normal life’ again.
in all verses, she remains a goofball to those close to her, and it isn’t that hard to make her smile. she suffers from depression, generalized anxiety, agoraphobia, and c-ptsd.
* btw, i’m more than willing to write with canon divergent joels who don’t follow part two canon, and we can work out the details together, but these details definitely can apply to that. regardless of if joel dies or not, she’s going to have a lot of trouble with ptsd and trust.