a shitty improv comedy made entirely of fistfights

[cosmogenous2]

i'm full of love but i also have the hater's curse and once a day i gotta say some bitchy shit or i'll explode

[yeenaaldlooshii]

reverse queerbait. characters who drive everyone around them nuts w their insane chemistry n then like 2 seasons later nonchalantly reveal theyve been fucking offscreen the entire time

[yeenaaldlooshii]

great way to subvert that fucking annoying thing where ppl tease them abt being in denial or whatever

"your girlfriend is here"

"shes not my girlfriend"

"yeah, suuuure"

"are you stupid or something, shes literally my wife"

"wait what"

[perkymcbadsuit]

[yeenaaldlooshii]

remember when i posted long word vomits abt how tlou2 tells us but doesnt show us that ellie is fucked in the head and it turned out that shit is called ludonarrative dissonance. i dont remember if i posted long word vomits abt how sex and violence are one and the same or if it was contained mostly to discord but anyway turns out i just reinvented the james lange theory of emotion. in a few years ill find out hating soulmates is some philosophical theory thats been around for 60 years and ill just decide i gotta shut the fuck up forever or something

[passacagliaofficial]

INVETNING

[yeenaaldlooshii]

having friends who are better fighters than you is so humbling bc if this asshole is annoying me on purpose tf am i gonna do? beat his ass? I CANT

[yeenaaldlooshii]

good news guys i figured it out you just gotta wage psychological warfare. i sent him that 4chan post abt the dude who got salmonella in his dick bc he fucked a raw chicken and i swear i could feel the despair through text

[escuerzoresucitado]

[prokopetz]

There's a palpable generational divide in queer fandom spaces between people who think every unreliable narrator reads like Tamsyn Muir and people who think every unreliable narrator reads like Terry Pratchett.

[cipheramnesia]

Thinking every unreliable narrator sounds like Jeff VanderMeer

[wiskie]

“Remember, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels 😇”

[approximateknowledge]

once you learn enough about evolutionary biology you start seeing ghosts everywhere

[approximateknowledge]

after the end cretaceous extinction event, basically all megafaunal niches were suddenly empty; and most got filled in some way. proboscideans instead of sauropods, carnivorans instead of theropods, ungulates instead of ceratopsians and hadrosaurs etc...

but the thing is: only *most* got filled to some extent

not all

because there used to be dragons

and now their niche is just *empty*

it's like i can feel the gap they left, in everything from open grassland ecosystems to isolated islands; the world we know is shaped by the absence of a truly big flying predator

no bird could ever fill their niche, because of plain and simple anatomical constraints

because they cannot use their wings to jump

birds could never be azdarchids

they could never be dragons

there are no more dragons

but there used to be

there used to be...

[gailynovelry]

The fastest way to accomplish The Project is to cease being afraid of The Project. The Project cannot maim you. The Project cannot kill you. The Project is more afraid of you than you are of it. It is okay if The Project turns out differently from how it was in your head, and it is okay if it has flaws. You are capable of engaging with The Project.

[yeenaaldlooshii]

COLDMACKEREL IS FUCKING BACK

[in-hearts-affliction]

I need more tattoos I need more tattoos I need more tattoos I need more tattoos I need more tattoos I need more tattoos I need more tattoos

[yeenaaldlooshii]

having friends who are better fighters than you is so humbling bc if this asshole is annoying me on purpose tf am i gonna do? beat his ass? I CANT

[superdaisypowerhour]

"if i had a time machine i would go back in time and kill hitler"

I would put sea mines around medieval britain. i would give hannibal barca ww2 era heavy artillery and tell him not to stop till he starts seeing gauls. i would give boudica a fucking abrams. i would appear before jesus like an angel and tell him "you gotta stop. not cause theyll kill you, youre fine with that, surprisingly, but because your fanclub is gonna spend about 1500 years making everything worse for everyone, everywhere." I would take a glock back in time and shoot romulus, shoot remus, and shoot that damn dog too just to be safe. i would be on the side of christopher columbus' ship in a scuba suit planting c4 on that bitch like rainbow six siege. i would be waging a one woman campaign of terror across andalusia to prevent the reconquista. i would be getting way out in front of that shit is what im saying,

[ialreadyboughtthedream]

[xenosaurus]

every time a website describes "appetite suppressant" as a feature of a type of food, i kill another hostage

[xenosaurus]

"nuts are an appetite suppressant!" BECAUSE THEY ARE FOOD. YOU ARE LESS HUNGRY BECAUSE YOU ATE FOOD.

[xenosaurus]

the diet industry is so unbelievably fucked and it’s in your fucking walls. “keeps you full longer so you don’t get hungry an hour after lunch when you’re trying to do something” is a neutral statement of benefit but no we have to treat pistachios like crucial medicine in the war against basic bodily functions.

eating disorder recovery is just getting angry over and over again because food is treated like some horrible necessary evil instead of one of the great joys of life. eat some nuts because they taste good and you are a living thing that thrives on pleasure and calories. you need both.

I need to get some sleep but in case you need to hear it: you deserve to eat. your appetite is not the enemy. if you can, treat yourself to a filling meal of foods you love today. throw pistachio shells at people. be free.

[xenosaurus]

DISCLAIMER: if you or your selected victim have a nut allergy, consider throwing rocks instead. I love you.