Mistopheles’ heart broke in an instant. The ache of it overwhelmed him and he felt tears in his own eyes, echoing the grief in his heart. He had never really been one to let himself be touched, always skittish, always inclined to dance out of their grip with a teasing smile or wink or twitch of the ears, to never let anyone more than brush their whiskers against him unless he explicitly chose that contact. Tugger had been an occasional exception, and once, once, Mistoffelees had even curled up in a little ball against the larger cat’s very warm side. It had been a chilly night and he had seen Tugger sitting alone, raced nimbly over to him, and enjoyed the warmth for nearly five solid minutes, a record no one else had ever managed to coax out of him, carried out in silence as he let himself just enjoy Tugger.
Now, those instincts to dance away were entirely gone. Tugger’s weight and warmth bore him down and his heart was too broken to let him even try to pull away. Instantly purring, Mistopheles pushed his face up against Tugger’s and rubbed him cheek to cheek, whiskers sliding against each other. He twisted loose under him, intending for just a moment to get up, but he couldn’t. He lay back down, wrapping around him as completely as he could, as ridiculously as he could, purring despite the falling tears, and then he did something he hadn’t done since he was a tiny kitten, but which he had been terrible for then:
None of the bites were hard, but Mistopheles was overwhelmed. He bit Tugger’s face and his neck and his ear and his shoulder, purring, making soft little mew sounds, sounds no one but his friend and his mother had ever gotten to hear; he was often silent unless he was toying with someone, sparing only a few words here and there, but not now.
Not now. It had been too long for silence.
When he had finally settled down, he curled up and shoved his face into the thick fluff on Tugger’s chest, eyes closed, breathing in his smell as if it were life itself, trying to bury himself in Tugger’s heartbeat–
“I missed you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Tugger. I tried to do something with magic and I wasn’t ready for it, I misjudged, made a terrible mistake, made a deal I didn’t understand. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.” He would deny that his paws were already kneading into his friend’s chest and stomach, if anyone ever accused him of it, but he was too overwhelmed for sense or sensibility, pride or prejudice, and reverted to the purely physical affection he’d forgotten he even knew how to give. Then, because he could not possibly be making any more a fool of himself, he said the three most important words of all, the three words he’d never actually said, merely implied time and again:
He could be every bit the show-off and showman when there were others around, but when it was just the two of them, this was the truth Mistoffelees had lived, the one he now desperately needed to tell him, now that he knew nothing else mattered in the world, nothing but love.
tugger buried his face against mistoffelees’ fur, breathing him in, re-familiarizing himself with his scent. he knew it by heart, it was how he had been able to pick up on it so easily after all of these years, but somehow being able to experience it close up after so long.. it was dizzying, overwhelming, in some ways. he didn’t care who saw, he didn’t care what they thought. misto -- he was alive, and he was home. that was all he cared about. he was feeling so MUCH he doubted he’d ever be able to put it into words.
the sound of misto’s purring was a balm to him, and as their cheeks brushed together, the sound of their combined purring mingling together, tugger felt lighter than he had felt in a very long time. there was a certain comfort he felt with mistoffelees, and with his abscence, that too had been missing. there had been a hole inside of him, one that grew with each passing day, eating up more of him and taking pieces away with every day he was gone.
as he was bitten and mewed at, the maine coone didn’t complain, choosing to knead his paws against every part of mistoffelees’ body he could reach. his purrs rumbled even stronger from his chest, his tail flicking to and fro, brushing against mistoffelees’ side, desperate to be touching him just as much as possible, as though he were about to disappear again at any second. he’d take whatever he could.. for as long as he could.
he let out a shuddering breath as mistoffelees finally began to talk, nuzzling his face against the side of his head tenderly, moving to lick against the side of his neck, grooming his fur and trying to let their scents mingle once more. the sensation of the other cat kneading against him in turn was comforting, and his purrs only grew louder as he stilled his short grooming session to offer a whispered: “i missed you too -- so so much.”
this had been a magical mishap, then? tugger could only feel an overwhelming sense of relief.. of joy. they hadn’t pushed him away.. he hadn’t been hurt or catnapped.. he had been safe.. from what he could tell, at least. that was good.
emotional honesty was hardly something he was skilled at or understood very well, but this wasn’t a time for holding back. he could think about the implications, about the choices he’d need to make.. later on. right now, all that mattered was the cat in front of him.
he pulled back, butting the front of his head lightly against mistoffelees’ own, laughing quietly in a mixture of happiness and exhaustion.
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