cursed & charmed

law student by day. fangirl by night. snarky and sarcastic but genuinely confused by public displays of negativity. nyc by way of san francisco, dc, and the midwest. current obsessions include the good wife, broadchurch, the fall, jane the virgin, parks & rec, last week tonight, house of cards, tax law, louise brooks, and cooking and baking when I should be studying. orbythesea on AO3, ff.net, and basically everywhere that's not here.

[coluring]

proper punctuation can make the difference between a sentence that’s well-written and a sentence that’s, well, written.

[cursedandcharmed-blog]

Late Night Confessions

I moved in with The Boy a few weeks ago.  We didn’t plan it, but it happened.  It happened somewhere between I just miss you when you’re not here and I love you and I don’t want to imagine my life without you in it.  

Sometime after I packed my life into boxes and moved them uptown but before I managed to finish unpacking them, I moved into a studio in Brooklyn.  I left the big kitchen and the dishwasher and the roommate’s cat to share a few hundred square feet with a man I spent months trying not to love because I thought that loving him would mean losing myself.

I am, instead, more myself than I have ever been, and I am deeply in love with him.

I am more myself, but then, there is this:  When he is home, I fall asleep easily, safe and content in his arms.  Tonight, he is out of town, 1,500 miles away for a long-scheduled family thing.  Tonight it’s 5 hours later than I normally close my eyes, and I’m still wide awake.

I am more myself than I have ever been, and yet, I feel like a part of me is far, far away, and there’s something unsettling about that.

[cursedandcharmed-blog]

Late Night Confessions

I think I’m falling in love with the boy.

[outrageauxbonnesmoeurs]

Vintage women being badass. You’re welcome.

[love-as-thou-wilt]

Don’t fool yourself into thinking ladies were demure and silent in the past. 

[just-grasping-at-straws-deactiv]

I would like more female characters being this open

[cursedandcharmed-blog]

Late Night Confessions

In the past 6 days I’ve taken the bar exam, packed the last 3 years of my life into boxes, carried those boxes to a moving truck and driven said truck from my old place to my new one, then gone back to the old one to clean.  For hours. It’s been a long week.

The Boy did the same, and now, instead of living 3 blocks apart, we’re separated by the East River. Neither of us are dealing well with the distance, and it’s only been a day.  At 11 o’clock tonight, we had a serious conversation about whether it was too late for one of us to get on the train to get to the other, and I was just about to say “fuck it” and head out when we realized that my stop off the subway line that runs straight from me to him isn’t stopping at my stop because of weekend construction.

Only in New York City does living 10 miles apart make you feel like you’re in a long distance relationship.

[cursedandcharmed-blog]

MBE Practice Question begins with an employee printing out an e-mail and sending it to her boss via interoffice mail. To which I say THAT’S WHAT THE FUCKING FORWARD BUTTON IS FOR LEARN TO USE OUTLOOK YOU IDIOT.

[cursedandcharmed-blog]

Mid-day Confession

I absolutely hate fireworks, and the sound of them generally puts me so on edge that I'm barely functional. New York City set its fireworks off from the Brooklyn Bridge last night. The Boy lives about eight blocks from the bridge. It was only after checking Facebook this afternoon and seeing friends photos that I realized that going to The Boy's last night should have been a spectacularly bad idea. And yet. Making burgers in, drinking beer, cuddling, and making out on the couch, then closing the blinds and retreating to the bedroom at the first sound of fireworks? Best. July. Fourth. Ever.

[cursedandcharmed-blog]

Recipe: Maple Soy Ginger Flank Steak with Brown Rice and Carrots

There are two major things happening in my life right now.  I'm studying for the bar, and I'm preparing to move.  The former inspires a lot of procrastination, the latter a strong desire to reduce the amount of food that’s in my pantry and freezer, so that I can pack fewer things.  In other words, I’ve been cooking a lot lately.

Given that, I figured I’d toss up some recipes over the next few weeks.  

Today, I present a rice bowl I improvised for dinner last night that may be my new favorite thing ever.  It’s really only a rice bowl because I served it with rice; the real recipe’s the marinade and glaze.  

Maple Soy Ginger Flank Steak with Brown Rice and Carrots

Ingredients

For the Steak

1 piece of flank steak in whatever size you plan to eat.  Mine was about 5 ounces.  Skirt steak would work well here, too.  It’s just that flank is what I had in the freezer.

3 Tablespoons soy sauce

1 Tablespoon maple syrup

1 Tablespoon ginger, minced (tip: ginger freezes well.  If you don’t use ginger often, mince or slice whatever you don’t use and toss it in the freezer.)

1 clove garlic, crushed

1 teaspoon sesame oil

1 Tablespoon mirin, if you’ve got it.  (This is totally optional.  I had some in my cabinet so I tossed a bit in.)

Salt, pepper, oil

For the Carrots

Some carrots, cut into spears.  I used about 15 baby carrots which I slit in half, but normal carrots would work fine too, and there’s no real reason to slice the carrots that I can think of.

3 Tablespoons soy sauce

2 Tablespoons maple syrup

1 Tablespoon brown sugar

1 Tablespoon butter

Salt and pepper

Directions

I split the directions into two parts, here, though obviously you can do both things at the same time.  You probably should, so you get consistent temperature.

For the Steak

Whisk together all the steak marinade ingredients (except the steak).  Toss into a ziplock bag, with the steak, and put in the fridge for about an hour, give or take.

When steak is done marinating, heat a bit of oil in a sturdy pan.  Don’t use non-stick here, because you want high heat to get a good sear, and good color, on the steak.  Non-stick pans should be used at high heat.

Remove steak from marinade, pat off excess moisture, season with a bit of salt and pepper on each side, and pan sear, flipping once, to your desired done-ness.  (I made the mistake of answering the phone while cooking, so in the picture, mine is a bit more medium than my preferred medium rare.  Whoops.)

Remove from heat, let rest for ~5 minutes, then slice against the grain.

For the Carrots

Bring a medium-sized pot of water to a boil, add the carrots, boil for ~8 minutes.

When the carrots are still a bit crunchy but also a bit yielding (think al dente pasta here - is soft-crunchy a thing?), drain thoroughly.

While the carrots are boiling, whisk together the other ingredients, save the butter.

While carrots are draining, add butter to a pan to melt.  Non-stick is fine here.

When butter is melted, add the carrots and everything else to the pan.

Cook over medium heat for ~6 minutes, stirring occasionally.

When the carrots have reached your desired done-ness, remove them from the pan. Leave as much of the liquid as you can, then add the pan back to the heat for another minute or so until the liquid reduces down to more of a glaze.

Put some brown rice (or rice of your choice) in a bowl.  Add carrots and sliced steak.  Drizzle glaze over top.  Eat.

[cursedandcharmed-blog]

Me: There is literally nothing better than my mom's breaded chicken cutlets.

Me: I could totally improve upon this recipe if I added lemon zest to the breading...

[cursedandcharmed-blog]

pebblysand​ made me do it.

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write the 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged. And tag the person(s) that tagged you.  [Except that I'm not tagging anyone.]

What was your:

Last drink: water?

Last phone call: Lyft driver from last night.  Worst. Ride. Ever.

Last text message: To a friend about my hellish ride home last night.

Last song you listened to: According to my phone, I was listening to Blossom Dearie’s version of Down With Love when I took the headphones out last night.

Have you ever:

Dated someone twice: Sort of.

Been cheated on:  No.  At least, I don’t think so.

Kissed someone and regretted it: I have more regrets about kisses I turned down, but yes.  In my senior year of high school, I had a sort-of-thing with an older guy, who I later learned was married.  While I didn’t regret it at the time, in retrospect, making out with a married man is something I regret.

Lost someone special: Yes.

Been depressed: Yes.

Been drunk and thrown up: Yes.

List three favorite colors: Purple, green, red.

In the last year have you:

Made a new friend: Yes.

Fallen out of love: No.

Laughed until you cried: Yes.

Met someone who changed you: Changed the way I think about certain things, yes.  Changed me as a person, no.

Found out who your true friends are: No, I was pretty well aware of that already.

Found someone was talking about you: Found?  I don’t know what this means and everyone talks about everyone, so…

Kissed anyone on your FB friends list: Yes.

General:

How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life: All but one.

Do you have any pets: Sort of.  I claim ownership of my best friend’s dog.  That counts, right?

Do you want to change your name: I used to, but I think I'm cool with it now.

What did you do for your last birthday: I don’t remember.  I think I went to work or school then went out for dinner with a friend.

What time did you wake up today: 6:15 am.  For no reason.  I hate my insomnia.

What were you doing at midnight last night: Fighting with my Lyft driver and praying for my life as he hurdled down FDR Drive at 90 miles per hour.

Name one thing you cannot wait for: The bar to be over.

Last time you saw your mother in person: A few weeks ago when she was visiting for my graduation.

What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: No idea.  I’d like my apartment to be self-cleaning?

What are you listening to right now? A car alarm outside my window.

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes.

What’s getting on your nerves right now: This one client at work.  My bar-studier friends’ stress and psychosis.  The car alarm outside my window.  My inability to sleep for more than three hours at a time.

Blood type: No idea.  My mother is AB-negative and my dad was O-negative.  The Internet informs me this means I'm either A-negative or B-negative.

Nicknames: Not about to reveal them here as most are variants of my real name.  Wait, no.  Kel.  Some people call me Kel, because of an old livejournal screen name that has absolutely nothing to do with my real name.

Relationship: Single

Zodiac sign: Sagittarius

Pronouns: She/Her

Favorite TV show: Varies by my mood.  

College: I went to college, yes.  I'm not naming my alma mater here.

Hair color: Dark brown

Long or short: Long and in need of a cut.

Height: 5’5" on a good day, 5’4" on a normal day.

Do you have a crush on someone: It’s complicated.

What do you like about yourself: I’m smart and generally a good friend.

Tattoos: Yes, the Chinese character for “firebird.”  When asked what it meant, recently, I replied "It means that I was 18 and stupid enough to get a Chinese character tattoo but smart enough to get it in a place that only people who I like enough to allow to see me naked will ever see."

Righty or lefty: Righty.

First surgery: I was under sedation when I had my wisdom teeth removed.  Does that count?  Otherwise, I’ve never had surgery.

First piercing: Ears.

First best friend: Danny.  He was seven days younger than me and lived across the street from me when I was a kid.

First sport you’ve joined: Not sure.  Softball or Soccer/Football maybe?

First vacation: When I was a baby there were trips to New England, but I think the first one I remember is probably camping somewhere or Philadelphia to visit my grandmother.

First pair of sneakers: No idea.

Right now:

Eating: Nothing.  And now I'm hungry.  Dammit.

Drinking: Coffee.

I’m about to: Stop procrastinating and go to work.

Waiting for: Immediately, nothing.  In the more general sense, so many things.

Want kids: Probably not.

Get married: If it made financial sense, but probably not.

Career: Lawyer.

Which is better:

Lips or eyes: To look at, eyes.  To make contact with, lips

Hugs or kisses: Depends.  Kissing’s generally great, but sometimes a good hug is exactly what I need.

Shorter or taller: Neutral.

Older or younger: Older, I think.

Romantic or spontaneous: Are these things mutually exclusive?

Nice tummy or nice arms: Nice tummy?

Sensitive or loud: Again, not mutually exclusive.  Though I'm incredibly sensitive to loud noises, which sucks.

Hook up or relationship: Depends.

Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker.

Have you ever:

Kissed a stranger: Yes.

Drank hard liquor: Yes.

Lost glasses / contacts: I think I lost a contact in high school once?

Sex on first date: No.  Well.  Define "date.”  And “sex” now that I think about it.

Broke someone’s heart: No idea.

Had your own heart broken: In subtle ways, yes on a daily basis.  When it comes to romantic relationships, it’s complicated.

Been arrested: No.

Turned someone down: Yes.

Fallen for a friend: Yes.

Do you believe in :

Yourself: Most days.

Miracles: No.

Love at first sight: No.

Heaven: No.

Santa: No.

Kiss on the first date: Yes.

Angels: No.

[cursedandcharmed-blog]

turning bar prep into a drinking game

Whenever someone — a lecturer, a friend, a former professor, a parent, a co-worker, a random person on the street, etc. — says that bar prep is a marathon not a sprint, drink.

[cursedandcharmed-blog]

Things That Make A Crappy Day Suck Less

Finding out you’re officially graduating magna cum laude.

[cursedandcharmed-blog]

Gay Bestie: God, listening to you talk, you're like Bobby from "Company" right now. This is totally some "Marry me a Little"-type shit.

Me: God, you're right.

Him: It's uncanny how there's a Sondheim song for anything related to love or sex.

Me: True.

Him: Which one am I right now?

Me: "Being Alive."

Him: Fuck.

[alushheart-deactivated20150602]

We’re all so messed up from our parents’ marriages

[cursedandcharmed-blog]

Late night confessions

I think the best part of my roommate being out of town is the ability to stand in my kitchen wearing only my bathrobe while eating a grilled cheese sandwich.

[cursedandcharmed-blog]

Late night confessions

I didn't know it was even possible for another person to make me feel this good.

[cursedandcharmed-blog]

Me & Associate: This has changed since the last version so you need to review and accept changes prior to signing and submitting it.

Partner: Who changed it?

Me: I did.

Associate: And I reviewed the changes.

Partner: So why do I need to do anything?

Associate: Because you're signing it.

Partner: But you reviewed it already.

Associate: But I'm not signing it. You should read it before you sign it.

Me: Also, there's several million dollars at stake. On the off chance that either of us messed up, we won't be personally named in the malpractice suit, though. But you're signing it so--

Partner: Will you two shut up so I can read this thing?

Associate texts me: *I owe you a drink.*