Harry Potter had been in love with Draco Malfoy for one year.
A year full of cautious smiles, careful words, questions of friendship. A year full of careless laughter, inside jokes, gentle whispers when nightmares had taken hold during the darkness of sleep. Friendship had bloomed easily once forgiveness was handed out and old rivalry’s placed in the past. Harry had fallen deeper and deeper, into an ocean that seemed like it had no floor. But now Draco was leaving, going to France, and Harry’s heart felt like it was crushing in his chest. Now Draco was leaving and Harry wouldn’, couldn’t wouldn’t say the words that he had known for a year. His best friend had to leave and Harry would watch him go, wishing, praying, that this love wasn’t an eternal thing.
Harry hadn’t prayed hard enough.
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Harry Potter had been in love with Draco Malfoy for four years.
He had refused to admit it, of course. After Draco had left, Harry had promised to leave those feelings behind, let them fall away like leaves to the ground. He had promised to keep regular contact with Draco. He had promised to continue with training and become an Auror. Harry had learned he wasn’t very good at keeping promises. Now Draco was back and they hadn’t spoken in years and he was standing in Harry’s cafe. The sight of his soft blond hair, his stormy grey eyes, his quiet smile had Harry’s chest heaving with the beauty of him. The sight of another man following Draco in and taking his hand had Harry’s chest heaving again, only this time it felt like he was drowning. This time, Harry couldn’t find the air to breathe.
It seemed Draco wasn’t good at keeping his promises either.
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Harry Potter had been in love with Draco Malfoy for six years.
The time had flown by and now he was twenty-five. The past few years had been full of love, happiness but there was always the quiet pain underneath it all, there was always Draco. Their friendship was once again strong, but something was changing. Draco and Isaac had ended it a few months, and now every moment Harry spent with Draco felt charged with something new, something more. Stolen glances and delicate touches and meaningful words had been filling up the past few weeks and the ocean inside Harry was a storm, but now, as they stood on Draco’s balcony and watched the sun dim on the horizon, the raging waves ceased. All was still. Draco turned to Harry, his face alight with the sun, and Harry thought beautiful. The sudden feeling of Draco’s hand on his shocked Harry, but not as much as Draco’s expression. Draco’s eyes mirrored the feelings that Harry had hidden for years. Draco’s eyes were full of love, love, love. And when they kissed, Harry found out his mouth was full of it too.
The waves hit the ocean.
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Harry Potter had been in love with Draco Malfoy for seven years.
He didn’t know how it happened or the exact moment his heart had decided to fall. All he knew that his love for Draco was a deep, constant thing, just as Draco’s was for him. The soft whispers of a summer’s morning filled their apartment. Their legs tangled together under their crumpled sheets, the gentle light of morning sneaking through the window, as Harry lifted his head from Draco’s chest. His heart still hadn’t gotten used to waking up in Draco’s arms. He didn’t think it ever would.
His gaze met the pictures framed by their bedside. One was of them. They were smiling politely at the camera until Harry whispered something into Draco’s ear and they both burst into laughter. Their grins were wide and their loved seemed palpable through the photo. Harry watched it loop over a few times.
His eyes caught the photo behind, the one of his parents. Remus had given it to him a few years ago. Bittersweet. That’s what Harry thought of it. Lily sat in the centre, a book placed on her lap and clearly unaware of a photo being taken. But Harry’s gaze wasn’t on her, it was on his father. James stood in the background, a sad smile flickering across his face and looking at Lily like he would give her the world if she asked. They hadn’t been together at this stage, and Harry recognised the longing expression on his father’s face. He had worn it for a long time.
Before Draco, Harry had never understood that. How is dad could have waited for so long for one person. He had thought it foolish to love someone for such a long time in the hopes that they might feel the same. It seemed idiotic, delusional. Harry understood now though.
He was like his father in more ways than his looks.
Delicate fingers traced Harry’s scar. He looked down to Draco’s sleepy smile below him and smiled back, whispering morning greetings. He allowed himself to be pulled back to Draco’s chest and soft kisses to be pressed to his temple.
The ocean inside Harry was deep, endless. It had been growing for the past seven years and Harry wasn’t sure if it would ever stop. He didn’t mind. He hadn’t drowned in it in a long time.
Now, all Harry did was float.
