Main: H4ZARDOUSCH3MICALS @cxppuccinxz - Tumblr Blog

Oh, howdy!

This is mostly the Hazard Sad Hours Zone (for vent and stuff) so if you aren't a friend I'd rather you checked out my main blog @h4zardousch3micals

BIG WARNING FOR POTENTIALLY UNTAGGED ANYTHING!! SOMETIMES I'M TOO TIRED TO TAG IT. THE MAIN BLOG WILL ALWAYS HAVE TAGS, THIS MIGHT NOT

Also I write edgy poetry lol

Edit: Started tagging deerposting with "deerposting 🦌". Deer is a person who I developed a toxic, parasocial relationship with and am no longer in contact with.

#Side note:#I use 'you' a lot in my poetry #Because I think of it as a letter to people from my past that I will never send #I'm probably not talking about you you

Okay, chat, I need advice.

I just learned that I fucked up, big time. And I've been fucking up for nearly a year.

I understand why they all hate me now.

What do I do?

When did it become an insult to be chronically online anyway? Fucking sorry I'm too disabled to travel anywhere on my own and nobody cares to take my places I guess???

midnightportals

#🦌 ⚡ 🍫 📖

cxppuccinxz

I hate you. You betrayed me.

You knew I was being manipulated and abused and instead of saving me; you left me to rot with them.

And yet.

I still want to be your friend. I'm sorry.

I love you. I admire you. You were right, I know I'm stupid.

Every day I hope that you'll think of me. That you'll get the urge to check on me, even if it looked like I didn't want you to. To see how ruined I am.

But you'll never hear this.

I understand. The haze we both suffocate in.

"Some are all good, Some are all bad,

That's just the way of the world. Nuance is a lie."

But still,

I hear you laughing along with our friends, and I wonder.

If they knew the truth:

Would they hate you or me more?

cxppuccinxz

nevermind fuck you don't you dare insult my beloved lost angel even if they agree

I hate you. You betrayed me.

You knew I was being manipulated and abused and instead of saving me; you left me to rot with them.

And yet.

I still want to be your friend. I'm sorry.

I love you. I admire you. You were right, I know I'm stupid.

Every day I hope that you'll think of me. That you'll get the urge to check on me, even if it looked like I didn't want you to. To see how ruined I am.

But you'll never hear this.

I understand. The haze we both suffocate in.

"Some are all good, Some are all bad,

That's just the way of the world. Nuance is a lie."

But still,

I hear you laughing along with our friends, and I wonder.

If they knew the truth:

Would they hate you or me more?

oh owowowowowow

#tummy hurt :(

oughh... I don't feel good

I physically recoil every time someone likes one of my old posts but they're dedicated to someone I love so I can't delete them

I am so sorry I am evil and stupid and lazy

I live with so much regret

All I want is to tell you I know I was wrong

I'm sorry

so uh

the guy

I seek toxic friendships because its all I've ever known

I'm sorry 🎮, I'm sorry 💵, I'm sorry 🧊, I'm sorry 🍋, I'm sorry 🦌, I'm sorry ⚡, I'm sorry 🍫, I'm sorry 📖

#deerposting 🦌

And yet,

Cycle broken,

I sit here.

Aching, longing,

I'm sorry.

You hurt me,

Hurt them,

But I still thought of you as my friend.

Both of you.

You're just kids.

Mean, dumb kids.

I'm so sorry.

oh my god

I think the cycle broke

♻️♻️♻️

Anyone know what you're supposed to do when you want to yell at someone but they're a kid so you can't do that because yelling at kids is wrong

blood test time oh no

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