b r a i n s t e m

v i c a r i o u s l y, i live while the whole world d i e s [indie ruvik victoriano from the evil within. prone to nsfw material. #cxrebrum.]

[kiba960]

OMG New trailer Kidman !! *.* :D

[arkham-scarecrow]

[cxrebrum]

    he's not quite used to the snow     blanketing the ground in white     yet.

         but he doesn't so much miss          the feeling of climate. he stands          alone outside, looking up at a          greying sky.

[cxrebrum]

casually slides in like the awkward turtle i am

[cxrebrum]

evil within au where ruvik works as the security guard in FNAF and explodes all of the animatronics with his bare hands

[cxrebrum]

"How do I get home?"

     ”usually those who venture here     have even the smallest inkling that     my intent is not to let them out. i     doubt you’re quite as wise if you’re     asking that question.”

[cxrebrum]

Do you have any childhood memories involving the snow?

    he pauses fast. feet should probably    find some warmth. though the sensation    of climate is a thing of the past, hypothermia    can always be a thing of the clear and present    danger. he takes just a step back in the doorway,    and out of the snow.

      “snow used to cover all the sunflowers in      our field. suffocate them, hide them from      whatever little sun would show itself the      next day. laura used to cry when we were      small.”

[cxrebrum]

"Got something else for me, bastard?" She was tired that much was clear, but she'd overcome most of his damned obstacles

    tired. he grows tired of her presence.    it isn’t that she’s formidable. no, hands    simply placed to her shoulders would be    enough to s h a t t e r this girl completely,    but why diminish the experience? this is    the the greatest portion of r e s e a r c h.    how much can a variable withstand?

         ”i hope you know i could end this right          here and now.”

[cxrebrum]

[cxrebrum]

     he's p a c i n g. chill frosts old windows.      part of him longs for the long lost ability      to sense climate, to feel the crisp sensation      of a snowflake falling in the center of your      palm. robes practically blend in with the      blankets massing outside. ambers gaze      at the grey sky above.

           he scarcely remembers anything much            more t r a n q u i l.

[cxrebrum]

i apologize for the spotty activity as of late. i haven't really been feeling myself even slightly, and it's made getting anything done really stressful, and just something i'm not able to do. it's really hard when you're so hard on yourself to be productive, especially when you nitpick on every little mistake you make.

i'll try my best to be better for sure. i do love this blog a lot so far, and i feel like i'm getting past my inability to be comfortable here. hope you guys understand. my best is all i can give, even if it's not always enough.

[sandramonster]

(sandramonster©)

[horrorgorewhore]

[cxrebrum]

i really just want to die sometimes

[cxrebrum]

i'm depressed.

i'm just useless.

i'm worthless.

i can't do anything productive.

i can't.

[cxrebrum]

i really am sorry for my streak of inactivity.

school's just really unbearable for me, as i'm trying to the best of my ability to do well. it's just really difficult for me to do anything. because i'm sick there's constant pain in my legs and along with that and my DID and my depression and anxiety at the end of the day when i have free time i'm just so tired.

i'm going to have to quit work because i'm sick and there will be things i won't physically be able to do on my own. i'm going to have to miss a lot of school so i'll have to make all that up.

i'm just. ugh. i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm useless.

[cxrebrum]

whispers add ruvik's kik, inwardevil