[text]: yes. this is your conscience texting you from alistair tremaine’s phone. you should definitely leave a million dollars in his bank account. if anyone asks why, tell them your conscience said so.
[text]: i hope you know i’m never going to let you live this down :)
[text]: from experience most girls dont like to hear about exes. but i guess penelope must be really different from most girls.
[text]: you know what? if she’s dating you now, you really dont need to do anything different. she likes you for you. that’s all that matters.
[text]: when did i get so good with relationships wtf.
[ text : fried alistair ] you are beyond hilarious conscience. sadly, i cannot exceed transaction above 999,999.
[ text : fried alistair ] ... |: i know where you live. i know enough about you to incriminate you somehow.
[ text : fried alistair ] out of experience...no? i mean she did dislike running around after me because i was out when we weren't in a relationship. but who knows, it's a different situation.
[ text : fried alistair ] next to me you are the principal of the institution of relationship









