The Fuck Up Account

mleh

[babyhatsau]

Chapter 2: Wishful Thoughts

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[incorrect-villainous-quotes]

[Flug]: Holy fuck, is that guy fuckin dead?

[Blak Hat]: I dunno, let’s see. *rips the guy into pieces* Yup, he’s dead.

Source: MPGIS s04e0

[incorrect-villainous-quotes]

Flug: “Can you pass the salt?” Demencia: *throws Black Hat across the table* Source: Tumblr

[incorrect-villainous-quotes]

Demencia: *gently places a single crisp autumn leaf atop her instant noodles* Garnished Flug: Do you eat the leaf or is it just for decoration. Demencia: I only eat the leaf. The noodles are the garnish. Source: Tumblr

[pr1nceshawn]

How Food Looks Before It’s Harvested.

Sesame Seeds

Cranberry

Pineapple

Peanut

Cashew

Pistachio

Brussel Sprouts

Cacao

Vanilla

Saffron

Kiwi

Pomegranate

[jive-turkey]

This feels so fucking weird to look at.

[jenniferrpovey]

The fact that anyone thinks it’s weird means people need to see it more.

[super-affection]

was ringing up a customer and added his coupons, he was surprised it took off so much off the total and i accidentally said “well tits the season!” instead of tis the season but he let out a very long and powerful “Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell yeah”

[sw-or-gtfo-deactivated20211219]

my bf has many interesting stories and observations from his new job as a 911 operator

my favorite is how meandering people are, even in the midst of a terrible emergency

they respond to “what is the emergency” with “well, the thing is, four weeks ago–”

and then he’s like “WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY RIGHT NOW”

and they’re like “so what happened this morning was, i said to my wife, i said–”

“WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING AT THIS MOMENT”

“oh i’m having a heart attack”

my second favorite is how specific he has to get sometimes

like, “what is your emergency?”

“i’m sitting in a pool of blood.”

“… is it… your blood?”

“yes i think so”

“do you know where it’s coming from?”

“probably the stab wound”

“have you been stabbed?”

“oh yah definitely”

[lizawithazed]

In all fairness shock is a hell of a drug

[katjohnadams]

“What is your emergency?” “I’ve lost a lot of blood.”

“You’ve lost a lot of blood?”

“I mean, I know where it is but I shouldn’t be able to see it-”

-fseitmhnasf

[isei-silva]

But what if chocobos did the cockatoo thing when excited

[blasticheart-moved-deactivated2]

Chris-*Sweating nervously..*”….M-me??C-child murder?? pfft.. You are talking silly things man..I would never hurt a kid…I..I’m not a monster……” he said, glancing to side avoiding the eye contact..

[blasticheart-moved-deactivated2]

Vine from Christian DelGrosso 1:12

[blasticheart-moved-deactivated2]

Info about these two

[w-byers]

a compilation in honour of our first christmas without vine.

[incorrect-villainous-quotes]

Black Hat: *hangs up intestines as party decorations* Man this is gonna be the wildest birthday I can feel it Source: Tumblr

[incorrect-villainous-quotes]

Demencia: Damn, it’s dark in here. What are you, a bat??

Flug: Exactly

Demencia: Explain.

Flug: I have good vision and I like to scream.

[incorrect-villainous-quotes]

Black Hat: I’m Demencia’s emergency contact. Nurse: So you’re here to pick her up? Black Hat: I’m here to be removed as her emergency contact. Source: Unknown

[babyhatsau]

Do you guys like snow?

They do :)

[theinsanefruitloop-chan-deactiv]

Charity with her lil babies <3