Cyber Plant Scenes

personal blog :3 | 19 | they/she | ⚫️BPD⚪️ | 🇵🇸🟠🪶✊🏿🏳️‍⚧️ | DMs open to chat ;p | #clowngumm or #cyberplantscenes for my art

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Splitting

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had to get rid of some items while paying for groceries cuz i couldn't afford it and its so embarrassing. Anxiety is spiked now 😵‍💫

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i want attention SO BAD. I'm lonely

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",,my partner," ",,my girlfriend," ",,my boyfriend,," EYE ROLL. NEXT. WHO CARES? SNORE. NOBODY. ASKED

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with 4 nostrils and 9 eyes and many other sensory organs you can't see, i promise he knows where you are!

supplies used:

- staedler pigment liner

- copic marker

- pencil crayon

- dollarstore sketchbook

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I hate my mother some days. Like no wonder I have this fuckass disorder when every time I try to get comfort from my mother, she either has the nastiest, condensending tone basically telling me I'm stupid for feeling this way. I told her I was going to cut myself and she was like, "Really?" in that condescending voice. Told her I wanted to kill myself. "That's what cowards do." So I'm a coward for feeling like this? Fuck you. Or she just says "i don't know what to tell you anymore" instead of just comforting me and telling me its okay

everytime i cry to her about my friends she's always like, "I never had that problem back in my day." Okay, well its not back in the day anymore and I'm not you. You're not fucking helping

I feel so alone

Only plus side today is that my coworkers were super nice and said "we have emotional space for you" and gave me a hug 💔

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I've been seeing a lot of angel numbers lately and it is scaring me

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My Risky Behaviors

- daily marijuana intake ~2g per day

- past and recent increase in alcohol use

- driving while high

- recklessly speeding

- dumbass just recently realized that my theft habit is risky behavior. used to go crazy as a young teen but now it's usually limited to pricey grocery items lol

- being irresponsible with my money

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I just want to know what it feels like to have kisses on my skin, but I have the social skills of a dead worm so I cut myself instead. I feel so ugly and loveless

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I feel like all of my creature designs are boring 😕

[slfcare]

ten questions to ask yourself, discuss with your closest friends or journal about:

↝ what does your admiration look like? is it free of jealousy?

↝ where do you feel your emotions, physically within you? does your anger live in your hands or your gut? is your sadness light or heavy?

↝ what do you feel holds you back from taking the steps you know you should be taking but aren’t?

↝ is there something that has happened recently which is still bothering you? why do you think this is? what do you wish happened instead?

↝ what kind of media have you been consuming lately, and how has it really been affecting you?

↝ are you where you hoped you’d be a year ago? are you okay with that?

↝ what areas of your life need a deep-clean? your literal closet? your social life? your habits? your attitude? your camera roll?

↝ where are you headed in the next few months? how do you wish you could adjust your course?

↝ what is something you want to be more honest about?

↝ what moves you?

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Drawing i didn't finish hatching 😪

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Materials :3 :

- dollarstore sketchybook

- Staedtler pigment liner

- crayola pencil

The drawing beside it lol

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It honestly feels like I'll never find anyone who loves me through and through. Someone who chooses to cuddle with you at night despite it all.

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I feel so fucking alone. No one sees me