She smiles at the mention of Johanna. “Aside from my birth siblings, she is my oldest friend. I was glad when she joined our family properly,” She said of the Landgravine. “I do not think Matthias would have had to tell her. She has always been gracious,” Johanna knew well the rules and customs, and she did not doubt that the gift would have been her idea. She was the kind of woman Friedi could only ever hope to be, one who could navigate propriety well, dignified and above all, patient. It was something that had always plagued Friedi. She was quick to act with whatever emotion took hold of her heart in that moment, but perhaps with his self-confessed experience in the art, he could temper her impulsive nature, or at the very least help to focus that energy. Where it had always been a flaw of hers, he did not seem to take it as such. It was a strange feeling for Friedi. Even those who loved her seemed to think she needed to improve on who she was, but perhaps their opinions no longer mattered. “It sounds like between us, we may find a sort of balance,” she suggested. Patience was all well and good, but she was prone to growing restless. And then his request came, and her smile only grew. If it was accountability he wanted, it was certainly something in her remit to provide. Her life had been spend pushing, demanding justification, answers, and action where others had been content without. The only question was if she could do so without the fiery exchanges that often came with it, for that was not what she wanted with him. “That is something I can promise you,” she says, nevertheless. and her words are sincere. It is as though everything she has ever done has led to this, and every word from his mouth only convinces her that this is the right choice.
And so the choice is made. She came to Switzerland for peace, but somewhere along the way, she has hardened. All roads have led to this point, and now she isn’t just choosing a life of turbulence, but embracing it. If he wanted a throne, she would not dissuade him. The path they commit themselves to is not easy, but if anybody could walk it, it was she. Had her father not chose the same path once? Had he not so recently pointed out that she was, despite all resistance, like him in so many ways? “Then this is the life we choose. Glory and happiness shall be intertwined,” she says, and her voice is firm, as though it is already decided. Her eyes find his, and she can hardly believe what she is hearing. She does not know how to accept his gratitude, because accepting him has not been something that hadn’t come natural to her. He leans ever closer to her, and her heart is hammering in her chest so heavily that she would not be surprised if he could not hear it, loud as a war drum. The notion he may not be worthy of her is almost laughable, for it is she who should be grateful. Grateful to be matched with him, and grateful that he sees her, recognises all that they could be, presents her with such opportunity. “You are worthy,” she insists, her voice no louder than a murmur. Her hand comes up to rest at his cheek, tilts her chin to meet him as he leans toward her until their lips touch. Her kiss is soft against him, but she does not hesitate. There is no nerves, for she has already made her choice. It is him that she wants, and she is prepared to commit herself fully to that. Of that, she is certain.
❛ she sounds like a worthy friend, ❜ he says, though his mind is distracted almost by the sight of her that his mouth seems to move on its own, dropping words that he cared little for about persons who were the least of his concerns. for now, there is only him and her in this garden, surrounded by the beauty of nature. she speaks of balance—and isn’t that such a gift ? they complement one another, are perfect for one another. whereas before he only knew a kind of rage the type that sea-swept waves in tidal storms could only harbour, being with her is a kind of peace in and of itself; because he knows that he will have what he wants soon, he knows that he will have what he has struggled for in so long, and he knows that he will have it with her. is there any sort of greater peace than this ? bayezide could only think of huma—huma, dead and gone, yet ever still in his heart ! did he have room for another ? can he have room for another ? at first, he had thought it impossible, that he would never love another as he did his first wife; but being with friedi is a type of serenity that he thought his soul would never capture once more.
( he had offered her a choice to direct his life. he had never before given anybody that kind of control over his own actions—and yet, with her, it had felt so natural. )
❛ glory and happiness, ❜ he breathes against her skin, their lips touching, almost a flutter-like wisp of a feeling, as if he’s almost hesitant. ( he’s a brave warrior who would march onward to a field stacked against him, and yet this makes him nervous ? how strange the heart works ! ) yet when she pushes up against him, fully meeting his own kiss, he does not waver anymore: a hand reaches up to tilt her chin ever forward, thumb stroking her cheek, as he closes his eyes to lean into her, at first gently, then passionately. in this moment, he cannot help but want her—all of her: her affection and her regard, her thoughts, her concerns, her dreams, her every waking moment. it is an irrational selfishness, but he cannot help himself: he has always been a man of many wants, and now the focus is set on her and he wants to help himself with her, almost as if to have her in all the ways she would let her have him. yet even as these thoughts pool into his gut, he realises that they are in public, and such display might almost be unseemly. ( yet pah ! what care he about unseemly when he has her ? ) he breaks away gently, even almost longingly, as if he did not wish to break away at all. ❛ ah, ❜ he says, voice almost a soft exhale, almost as if he sounds like he has discovered something and is greatly pleased with it. ❛ so much for a respectable public first meeting, ❜ he says, tone almost amused, not even able to contain the smile on his face.