mouthful of hair like a field

i am a girl whose ankle is stuck between a soft rock & a squishy tree branch.

[beingsinthedream]

ottessa moshfegh

[lamignonette]

yoriyukiii

[cygnum]

any person under a same name i use or have used anywhere that i have not explicitly stated to being me is not me & i am in no way connected to it, please be mindful of this/that. thank-you

[cygnum]

Hola, buenos días, niña bonita, envíame un mensaje no ask por favor,eres tan bonitas, tan linda y hemosa por favor solo dame la oportunidad de conocernos gracias tienes un lindo blog pero tú eres más hermosa yo intente enviarte un mensaje y no pude marca algo fallo inténtalo tú gracias

i don’t understand this language 

[cygnum]

i don’t think i will be doing posts to anywhere, atleast for now, due to certain discomforts. i love you & i have so much fun things i do want to tell (yell yell yell !!) & i hope i’ll get to a point again where i’ll feel positively about doing so. i’m a bit sad that my remaining “writing” hasn’t reflected these now-wonderful things & i wouldn’t like to “keep keeping it that way”. i want to let everyone know still that i have been smiling now (about good things) even though i don’t want to smile to anyone who shouldn’t see. i don’t like hiding under the covers but it’s soft & warm & we don’t disappear i think this is just an important nap & there’s sweet dreams that are also hiding because they are precious to me.

[cygnum]

i heard a new song today !!

i’ve been hearing lots of them, of course. but i decided that i would only talk about ! stuff like this ! & happy parts. this song made me fall in love (!!!) ! of course i have been in love all the time...! but isn’t it wonderful, fall in love, fall all the time many many times keep falling falling falling but this is that kind of love, there is all kinds, but i like falling so much, i like all kinds... but yes !!! ah WOW WHAT ! kind of like how imploding & exploding are different but the same & all so exciting & 

sometimes it makes the heart race (i like-like that) or slow down (i like-like that) or even stop but isn’t it lovely. nothing ends. NO, not that, i’m trying to put it into words. i lose track & it’s funny & upsetting at once... !!! but yes ! LOVE love love love what a weird wonderful thing to be landing on ! i hope i can do it softer & softer but also harder & harder again & again & AGAIN & AGAIN & AGAIN !!! 

[cygnum]

things that were separate but are some sort of puzzle-pairs:

teddybear trapped inside evidence bag & picking at the sticky plastic from around the leg

broken pipes noises at night & running through muted halls of abandoned factory

flickering candle-light & too out-of-place to sing along to holy night

knots in hair & no on-record statement

summer stars & crying in public bathroom with stranger

the last time i was a child & the first time i met her

[slimyswampghost]

she moved like she was underwater. I could tell she saw me looking, even without her head.

[cygnum]

Dude I'm so sorry you have to deal with that asshat, I hope you're feeling a bit better. Sending good vibes <3

thank-you ! i don’t know what that word means but it made me giggle !! my girl-friend tells me my reaction is baby-ish & she sometimes sends a bad word to me to see my reaction & says it’s because she enjoys teasing me. i don’t like it but i do like it also, like being tickled !!! i am happier now because i have decided to not be a diary-person anymore. or not so heavily, at least. i’m learning to have more emotions & handle them with care, even the bad ones !! that’s why i can be angry, even if i’m not being mean!!!, i think. now i am booing at that person LOUD & i’m out of their reach because they are just someone always waiting inside of a toilet like a fitting-room for another hat to try on. boo !!!

[cygnum]

source: owl’s head

[cygnum]

"look” by hollis brown thornton 

[cygnum]

i feel so much & there’s so much so many things floating around me words & thoughts i want to say & feelings i want to express & they are flying & it’s not that i don’t know what to say i have so much you give me so much & then i have so many feelings all over. it’s just that it’s so so so exciting all the thoughts they circle around me just out of reach mostly always & the thoughts the things go everywhere & in & out of me so fast & pass through me like new ghosts. erratic & explosion but also it’s all here & it follows me it’s all happening so close i can hear it but also so close it’s blinding it makes dizzy

i love you so much

i love feeling these things i am so full of THINGS THINGS THINGS 

i can’t i’m sorry i can’t really speak but i am listening & i am feeling so much wonder & i hope that if you remember your own face you will find a happy expression there. do you know how loving the stars look when it’s night-time & you are on the ground or maybe on a bench or wherever & you start to stare at them, into them & you don’t even hear your own body existing

[cygnum]

if you could take only one thing out of a burning building & that building was me i think you should take out the fire

[cygnum]

life tries to escape me like a broken home

[cygnum]

i’m sorry for my presence. i am sorry for my absence. i am sorry for the emotions we can’t help sharing & how our love crushes both of us just the same.

i’m sorry my heart is such a heavy thing to carry. i love you & forgive you for making it so heavy.

[cygnum]

I hope you are ok :') i wish for you to be and manifest your light :)I think it could help you to read Wanderers, purpose and the esoteric work in this time of transition. And also Discernment in relationships and conciouss relating. Best of luck, petar

wow, thank you so much for having wishes for me & for telling me about a book!! is it a book? i would assume this ! i tried to find it but there are many, like “the wanderers” by “meg howrey” for example. is this the one? please tell me the author, if it’s not this! i would so much like to learn about this thing that made you feel hopeful for me. feeling like “this could help” about something means it must be just a deeply wonderful thing.

the second one seems very interesting to me especially ! maybe it is because of the title? sometimes things that seem the most mysterious to us touch us the most. every time i am touched i am changed also. another star appears in the sky ! i wish upon every single one i can see & having so many wishes makes such hopeful feelings inside of me.

i wish i could show you how bright you make my lights shine.

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

It’s pouring, the trees are getting greener before my eyes, I love you. I’m almost afraid of the intensity of this happiness.

Vladimir Nabokov, from Letters to Véra (via karibu-nyumbani)