“man of action? what are you here to do, roundhouse kick my laptop?”
RE9!Leon x wife!Reader
summary: it's Friday night at last. but instead of snuggling in bed, you are up late, exhausted, and struggling to finish a debrief report for work. luckily, your husband, Leon, knows just how to comfort you with his jokes, charm... and a kiss or two.
tags/warnings: domestic fluff, emphasis on fluff, playful banter, minor swearing
w/c: 2.2k
a/n: here is the one-shot as promised from my previousdraft drabble, and before time because i couldn't control myself hehe! enjoy playful domestic clingy leon who loves teasing you, but not before you get the last laugh ;) oh and did i mention FLUFF?
A deep sigh escapes your lips as you drag your fingers through your messy hair, raking back the stray locks that had slipped from behind your ears. You wearily rub your bloodshot eyes with the heels of your palm, sending neon spots darting across your vision. Making a mental note to buy those blue light glasses your colleagues attributed to saving their retina, you leaned back into your chair, urging the leather backrest to swallow you whole. Corporate desk jobs were a nightmare, especially when it involved last-minute paperwork that you can thank your boss for dumping on your shoulders. Of course, writing a thirty-page debrief report on a client meeting was your idea of top five Friday night fantasies, right next to doing the dishes and cleaning the toilet.
The air in your apartment's study seemed to ricochet the bitter undertones of your steadily deteriorating mood; the palpable tension settled like dust over the furniture. Your gaze swept across the oak desk before you, zooming in and filing away data on every strewn piece of your inventory like they were shrapnel of an IED.
Sheets of the report files, stained with circular rims of your morning breakroom coffee, were strewn everywhere like they were hit by a leaf blower. You squinted at the illegible scribbles of pen ink that peppered the page near your dominant hand, trying to decipher the tangle of the so-called "running notes" you had taken in today's meeting. A forgotten cup of espresso was flanked by a litter of crinkled chewing gum wrappers, glinting in the sterile glow of the half-completed report sitting idly on your laptop's screen.
The hours since you reached home at 10pm had passed by with a certain elasticity that normally accompanies a routine grumbling with dry monotony. You had dropped the car keys on the kitchen island and mechanically made yourself a cup of strong black coffee that would surely pass for a biohazard. Your preoccupied mind had barely registered a familiar figure that had stepped through the front door in gym attire, right as you were making a beeline to your home office, where you had been holed up since.
The metallic anger that had rippled over your clenched jaw on the drive home had now been sanded down to a dull irritation that had settled over your bones like a malaise. "Why couldn't my stupid boss have just given me this work on Monday, top priority my ass", you hissed resentfully under your breath, picking up the neglected coffee for a much-needed dose of caffeine.
The acidic bitterness of burnt coffee grounds instantly greeted you, much to your chagrin. A grim scowl splashed across your face, your nose involuntarily scrunching in animated disgust as you swallowed down the inky sludge. Setting the mug down with more force than necessary, you continued to shoot daggers at the blinking cursor that mocked your state of exasperation.
Echoing the sentiments of a petulant teenager, you furrowed your brows in anger and pouted defiantly at the screen. "If this report were a person, which would make it equivalent to my boss," you muttered broodingly to the text ahead of you," I would have tied it to a chair, laughed while I dowsed it in kerosene and set it on-"
"Seems that report writing has finally made you contemplate arson as a professional career choice, huh sweetheart?" a deep baritone chuckled from behind you, rumbling across the room like midnight waves crashing over a rocky shore. Caught red-handed in the middle of your criminal schemes, you froze momentarily before swiftly recovering your composure, straightening your stiff back into a playful mask of innocence.
"Accusing one of resorting to violent tendencies over paperwork seems hypocritical coming from you, Mr. Kennedy", you countered deftly as you gathered the scattered papers into a loose pile. Your gaze flickered across your shoulder, tracking the casual grace with which Leon leaned against your doorframe. A breathy laugh slipped past his lips as he threw his arms up in mock surrender.
“Hey, I won’t confirm or deny those allegations. But if I may defend myself, your honor”, he drawled on, trying and failing to maintain an air of diplomatic stoicism, “I’m a man of action, and not… brain-eating bureaucracy." Choosing to ignore the not-so-subtle snort that you let slip, Leon took a dramatic pause before pushing himself off the doorframe with a cool grace. "Therefore, I am well equipped to help accelerate the pace of your work", he hummed, his voice trailing off like an afterthought, "perhaps offer tips on how to cut corners, tell your boss that our dog ate your report, etcetera…"
You swivel around in your chair, planting your bare feet on the floor as you lock eyes with his steely blue ones. The flecks of jade in his irises twinkled in the amber glow of the overhead light as he eyed your disheveled state in all its glory. Frowning at the unabashed smirk pulling at his lips in amusement, you narrowed your eyes as he slowly sauntered forward in calculating steps. "Man of action? What are you here to do, roundhouse kick my laptop?" you scoffed back at him.
He silently scratched his salt-and-pepper stubble in exaggerated contemplation, then offered, with a light wave of his hand, "Well, I mean, if it means you can come to bed now, I wouldn't mind-"
"Leon Scott, you lost your right to talk about sleep the moment you decided to go to bed while I was literally dying with paperwork two rooms away," you shot a glare at him as you thrust your index finger accusatorially in his direction. Leon froze like a deer caught in headlights, still two strides away from reaching you.
"Sleeping! Wha- Me?! I was not-" He opened his mouth to protest further, but shut it abruptly as he noted the way your stare swept up and down his attire. Whatever half-baked excuse he had formulated along the lines of how he was busy rearranging the fridge for the last two hours went out the window as he glanced down at himself. A faded old Metallica t-shirt you gifted him a few years ago hung loosely over his broad chest, paired with navy blue flannel pajama bottoms that pooled at his ankles.
Leon looked back up at you, a mild confusion written between the crow's feet at the edge of his eyes. Surely, you couldn't have concluded that he had fallen asleep by looking at his pajamas, I mean, he could have just been lounging around in them for all you knew.
The austere façade you tried to hold up crumbled the moment you beheld the lost puppy expression splashed across his face. You laughed gently before raising your eyebrows at him. "Honey, next time, maybe brush down your hair a little if you want to sell the whole 'I was wide awake’ point," you quipped lightly with a wink. Leon blinked twice, brain stuttering as he caught up with your words. A perplexed "huh" slipped out of him quietly, and that’s when he caught his reflection off a nearby window pane out of the corner of his eye.
Surely enough, it looked like a Category 5 hurricane had barreled right through his hair in three different directions all at once. His fine dirty-blonde locks, threaded with tendrils of silver, stuck up disjointedly in every angle available. The signature curtain of hair that normally framed his angular features was now matted backwards, revealing a faint row of wrinkles lining his forehead. He must have face-planted himself while he was asleep. How charming.
Leon's mouth parted in silent disbelief at his own lack of attention to detail. The same man who had survived multiple virus outbreaks, killed bioweapons ten times his size, stared death in the eye more times than he can care to count. Betrayed by his own hair. He stared at himself, dumbfounded, catching the fit of giggles you were trying to stifle as you clutched your shaking stomach.
"I mean, maybe I was trying out a new hair routine… kids like to keep it edgy these days, you know-", he fumbled hopelessly, looking akin to a kid caught with his hand stuck in a cookie jar. His eyes pleaded with your amused ones in the window's reflection. Reveling in your husband's egregious last-ditch attempts at saving himself, you tilted your head and cocked an eyebrow that seemed to say "Really?".
Leon's head fell forward as he let out an ancient sigh through his nose. One of his hands now moved to scratch the back of his neck, while he shoved the other deep in his pocket with an awkward nervousness. “Alright, Sherlock. You win. Guilty as charged,” he huffed, a sheepish grin toying at his lips.
And in that moment, the exhaustion in every listless bone of your body dissolved into clouds of tiny butterflies that fluttered the way your stomach did when you first saw Leon all those years ago. Despite the maps of scars that charted his body and the rays of wrinkles that creased his eyes, he looked just like when you were young. Heart on his sleeve, boyish charm twinkling in his eyes. Eyes that now softened as he read every thought that lingered by the rims of your own.
A silky silence draped like gossamer around your bodies, enveloping you and Leon in a quiet completeness. The kind that comes from years of learning the way his breath changes when he’s looking at you, or the way your body subconsciously leans towards him ever so slightly when he enters a room. The cursor continued blinking, the coffee grew a few degrees colder, and time came to a standstill as you slowly stood up from your chair. A numb ache shot through your legs at the sudden movement, as your knees buckled from sitting hours on end.
Before you could even grip your armrest to break your fall, Leon had already crossed the room. His solid hands fell to either side of your waist with steady purpose as he held you up, thumbs pressing reassuringly over your clothed hipbone. You braced yourself against him as you gripped his forearms, feeling the corded muscles flex beneath your palms. The grounding pressure of his touch elicited a soft sigh of pleasure from your lips, as Leon dipped forward to nuzzle his head into the crook of your neck. "I've got you, sweetheart", he murmured, hot breath pooling over your cool skin as he pressed an open-mouthed kiss to your clavicle. Eyelids fluttering, you melt into his solid frame like a candle near the sun, a quiet moan escaping your parted lips.
Your fingers find his hair, and Leon groans deeply as you gently drag your nails through his scalp, combing through the tufts of sleep hair. You hum in quiet content as you inhale Leon, filling your lungs with the lulling scent of cedar spice and a lingering hint of gun oil that he can never seem to wash off. He presses his body into yours, grip tightening on your hip as you coax the last rebellious strand of his hair back to normalcy. “There we go”, you whisper, lightly tousling his hair again with affection, “But in hindsight, I should have taken a picture of that rockstar hairdo of yours… could have framed it for our living room.”
Leon let out a rough chortle at your décor suggestion. Suddenly, a high-pitched squeal erupted from your chest as Leon's fingers brushed away from your hips to remorselessly tickle your side. "Leon- stop- okay, okay! Fine, our- wedding pictures- will have to do-", you managed to gasp out amidst your fits of laughter, attempting to escape Leon's dexterous attacks. But of course, you were no match against the seasoned DSO agent, who pinned your flailing limbs against himself without even breaking a sweat.
Leon barked out a hearty laugh, thoroughly satisfied with his punishment. He finally lets go of you, just enough to cocoon you back into his chest, his warmth permeating through every fiber of your being. "Just shut up, Y/N," he murmured against your hair. You pinched his stomach in response.
Just then, the faint beep of your reminder alarm cut through the room, ripping you out of Leon's arms and thrusting you back into a world of debriefs and paperwork. The whiplash surged through you, and you groaned into Leon's chest before twisting back to face the damned laptop. Prickles of irritation coursed down your back as you snarled at your opponent, fully ready to take Leon's advice from earlier and chuck it out of your apartment window.
Right before you could do anything you would regret on Monday, Leon quickly pulled you back against his chest. He wraps his sturdy arms around your shoulder, his thick veins brushing your neck. With your back pressed against him, and his chin resting on the crown of your head, you let his weight ground you from any irrational thoughts. You lean back into him and sigh, as you both eyed the laptop like you were preparing to take down a nemesis.
After a few minutes, the weathered cadence of Leon's deep voice crooned, "How about I sit right here with you, and we'll finish this report together, submit it… and then we can run this stupid laptop over with the Porsche?"
You felt a smirk toy at your lips. "Deal. Oh, and how about a "go fuck yourself" email to my boss, just to round it all off?"
Leon chuckles and presses a lingering kiss to the side of your head. "Whatever you want, sweetheart. Whatever you want."
thank you so much for reading y'all! i had this in the works for a while; the drabble (linked so you can check it out!) from earlier was completed like three weeks ago, and i had already started reworking it into this. i was nervous about publishing this oneshot directly, so i put up the messy drabble first. honestly, i was blown away by the responses, so i just had to treat you guys again xD
i had so much fun writing this one ^flashbacks to me curled up in my chair, giggling at my own laptop like a 15 year old lovesick teen^. and as for his outfit, i just thought we should let the poor man wear baggy clothes and get all cozy! i feel like leon would be the kind of man to be playful around his wife, and then proceed to cuddle her cause he's soft like that. or maybe i'm just so down bad for this man :}
hope you caught the few RE references i sprinkled here and there ;)
as always, feedback is welcome in the comments! thank you for all the love and support xx
Tags: RE2R!Leon x F!Reader, smut, established relationship, oral sex (f! receives), fingering, both are horny af, leon is a professional eater and more!
Note: RE-UPLOADED!! bc this won't let me upload the same post again for some reason, i edited it a bit and uploaded it again now. I'll try one more time idk otherwise I'll give up 🫠🫠
The rare mornings of a day off were your favorites, since neither of you worked and you could be together, relaxing completely in peace. Before getting up, you couldn't help but watch your boyfriend sleeping peacefully, his blond locks falling across his face and his cheek pressed against the pillow. You felt your cheeks warm just from watching him, as if it were the first day.
Now, the sun's rays greeted you as you walked through the small apartment you shared, making you squint lazily. Your brief moment of reflection ended when arms wrapped around you from behind, trapping you between his body and the counter in front of you.
"Why did you get up?" Leon's raspy, sleepy voice tickled your ear, making you smile. He really was clingy when he woke up, complaining if you weren't by his side.
"I wanted to think for a bit, you know?" you replied softly, a small smile playing on your lips. You leaned against his chest, stretching lazily and yawning. Leon's hands gently roamed your abdomen, beginning to leave small kisses on your shoulder. The tender moment didn't last long, as one of Leon's hands began to slide down, brushing against the elastic of your pajama shorts and your panties peeking out from underneath. As if he were testing the waters.
Receiving no objection, he slid his hand inside, but over your panties, and began to slowly caress your warmth, listening to you sigh. A smile touched his lips, knowing that you both woke up particularly in the mood in the mornings. More than once he'd been late for work because he'd been buried up to his balls in your pussy first thing in the morning.
"Thinking about what?" he asked innocently, leaving wet kisses on your neck, inhaling your scent, which contained traces of his own perfume, as if you were one. Slowly, he began to feel a damp patch forming on your panties, lightly wetting his fingertips.
He received nothing more than a moan in response, as you were too focused on how his fingers were rubbing your clitoris with increasing enthusiasm through the thin fabric. Your head fell back against his shoulder, and your body arched, your breathing becoming faster.
Now his fingers moved a little faster, just enough to stimulate your sensitive spot to make your legs tremble. When you moaned eagerly, arching your hips toward his hand in a silent plea, he understood immediately. He slipped his hand from inside your pajama bottoms, turning you around to find your lips in a wet kiss that lasted only a few seconds, because he dropped to his knees for you. He licked his lips intently, then needily pulled down the thin fabric of your clothing. "Just let me..." he murmured between kisses he scattered adoringly across your thighs before his hot, eager tongue slid between your wet folds. You both let out a long, relieved moan. You opened your legs a little wider, giving him space to continue his favorite activity ever.
"You taste so good—" he groaned against your center, running his hands up your thighs for a better grip. You looked down to meet his eyes, and at that precise moment, his pink lips provocatively circled your clit, without breaking eye contact.
Your moans began to echo in the kitchen, increasing slightly in volume each time his tongue tentatively grazed your dripping entrance, only to pull away and return to sucking hard on your bundle of nerves. Your hips began to sway against his mouth, practically straddling his face. "That's it—" he begged, choking on your pussy. "Ride my face, baby...please." His pleas barely reached your ears as one of his fingers carefully slid inside your rubbery walls, making you snap your head back with overwhelming pleasure. A second finger followed, stretching your twitching hole even further.
Now his fingers were sliding in and out at a rhythm that drove you wild, making a wet, dirty noise because you were so wet, almost dripping from his hand. His hot, wet tongue gave no rest to the sweet spot that drove you crazy, moaning as much as you were right now. He was so focused on eating you out that he didn't even notice his twitching member under his pajamas, so hard you could see the outline of its head dripping incessantly, begging for attention.
You opened your eyes, looking at him with heavy eyelids and hot cheeks, your whole body vibrating from the mouth he was fucking you in with his fingers and mouth. You felt that knot forming and your legs started to tremble. To hold on to something, you grabbed his fluffy hair so he could rub you better with his open mouth, dizzy with the pleasure that melted your brain when he groaned directly into your center. Leon was in paradise right now, rubbing your heat against his mouth and eagerly riding his fingers. You looked like a goddess, utterly perfect for him. He let out a small moan, sliding his free hand inside your shirt, starting to play with one of your hard, needy nipples.
That was it. With a stifled moan and furrowed brows, you came all over his fingers and flushed face, feeling your body like jelly from the wave of pleasure. He kept moving his fingers, helping you cope with the orgasm until you tugged his hair away and he protested like a crybaby for taking him away from your precious cunt. With a burning face and unfocused gaze, he placed a tender kiss on your clit as a momentary goodbye and also withdrew his fingers from your inside, throbbing with sensitivity.
He rested his cheek against your trembling thigh, sucking on his fingers , cleaning them with a husky groan.
He was so messed up that he hadn't even noticed the wet stain that had formed on his own pants, his cock twitching helplessly inside after coming untouched from eating you out like that.
"Sorry, I wanted my breakfast early." he murmured with a silly grin, leaving another wet kiss on the inside of your thigh, still wet from your release.
Ah, you were in for a long day with this man.
well babes, i hope this uploads 🫠 pleasee ignore any mistakes, i tried to edit some things but i just idk ughhh
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