--the sound of a mole scratching in the dirt--

Original Character rp blog NSFW and triggering content. Tracked Tag: DDDISGUSTING. Please be 18+ to follow

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(Pinning this for now, since I’ve discovered how to pin posts, 20 years later. I have an updated about page currently in the works. In the meantime I have clipped the current about page much shorter, because honestly, it’s just ancient and I don’t like it very much. I apologize if this inconveniences any new people. Please feel free to ask me about my muse for writing purposes if at all necessary! An update rules and mun page will also be included with the about, alongside updated relevant headworld information (or at least an updated description of Yorshov and the Yorshovian people) )

[2colde]

i love leaning into a bad feeling #mytwistingknife

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Piggybacking off the other anon's question (I hope that's okay!): do you have a preference over how people talk about your muse? Or if one is considered the default over the other? Or is it context dependent on what roleplayers you engage with?

(It's more than okay!! I genuinely always love random questions. I don't mind how people talk about my muse, but since Tolya is kind of an au verse that's become pretty distinct, it's easy to just talk about them as an AU, and they've become separate! Vincent is a character of mine who I've had for a very, very long time, and exists with a canon separate from tumblr rp, with an entire headworld and plot! Main verse Vincent here is closest to that, so I would call that the default, even though Tolya has gotten a lot of my attention and gone through a huge amount of development on their own. On this blog especially, asks and rp will start from the main verse unless otherwise specified, though I've put paragraph roleplay with Tolya here as well when people do specify that's what they're wanting to engage with.)

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perhaps awkward question but if you're a newer follower mostly familiar with tolya through osmosis how much of that applies to vince as a character? i wanted to do the opinion meme but stopped like. unsure if i'm doing apples to oranges here on Your Guy

(Not an awkward question at all! I appreciate it, actually. TLDR before I start is that they ARE pretty damn different! Big thing it helps to know is that Tolya isn't a rewrite type AU of Vincent, but one that formed organically through throwing Main verse Vincent into the ic rp multiverse and letting that develop separately and naturally over time! That means that almost everything that applies to Vincent in the default/base state that I write him in on my para here was relevant to Tolya in the past tense, while a LOT of who Tolya has become is wholly informed by years of experiences and relationships that Vincent in this timeline will never go through. Some things that come to mind Vincent: - Is not at all supernatural, and doesn't have experience with the supernatural (or is just beginning to, depending on interactions) - Frustratingly ascetic. ties his worth to the effect he's leaving on others, has an overblown sense of responsibility/agency, and it makes mutual relationships frustrating and painful.

- Obsessed with morality and being morally good. Is trying so fucking hard to be A Good Person (tm), but Unfortunately believes in something very comparable to degeneracy.

- Spiritual in the sense of a cultural belief in spirits, and the energy of intent and belief itself, prays but is agnostic re: the belief in what we would define as gods. Uses his faith to prostrate himself and elevate his idea of the rest of the world* (*or the potential of the world), because that feels like a moral good. - Unmedicated, dysregulated, only just beginning to rebuild social skills, and not infrequently in active psychosis, esp in dealing with delusional beliefs mentioned above. - Separated from the world he came from, the only way for this bitch to exist on tumblr is to isekai his ass. Doesn't know if his people are still alive. Freshly freed from the lowest spot in his life, with a lot of opportunity, depending on verse and interactions, for that to go in any number of directions.

Tolya: - Is not only very aware of the supernatural, but is something supernatural themself.

- Has had a LOT more time healing and learning to interact with the world and their own idea of themself in a more flexible and respectful way. Still very intense, but much MUCH less high strung and more genuinely passionate. Infinitely more aware of how to maintain positive relationships and how to make others feel meaningful, needed and loved. - Mostly over the moral OCD type behavior. No longer believes in objective good and evil, believes that arguments about morality are too often to cope with the instinct to prioritize oneself and their friends/family over others rather than anything actually principled. Friendly, not to be confused with good. Hiding a Lot that would get them in hot water. - A priest to the god and concept of decay, aims their passion into religious fervor. - Medicated, will probably deal with backslides and back and forths forever, but has built up their coping mechanisms, social skills, and social safety net considerably. - Have rediscovered their people, and are working on refugee efforts to preserve their people and culture.

That's a LOT of text, but it sums up a LOT of the differences between the two!)

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((Does anyone know if there are any currently-functional post trimming addons for firefox right now? Seems the last one I had stopped working))

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(Been really crunching through clearing out drafts, it's so good to feel less buried, but wow looking at posts you saved years ago is really something))

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((If you could make a pumpkin textured meat food? Something with a hard shell to break into, and some crunch? Vincent would fuck that UP. Until then, biting into shellfish and breaking small bones works.))

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//why do I feel like Vince and/or Tolya would eat a pumpkin ((CC aka Niki’s mun)

@miss-niki-draculesti Due to Vincent's physiology, he isn't really able to safely digest most fruits and vegetables well (or sometimes at all), but in another world, the satisfaction of breaking into something the texture of a pumpkin WOULD be very real. Alas. Tolya on the other hand, would absolutely use their plants to tear a pumpkin to shreds and drag it into the soil for compost to feed from. Enrichment!!

[d-d-disgusting]

👫 did you hear something

(you can sendies me one too....)

Send a 👫and I’ll write four headcanons I have about our muse’s relationship

- Vincent would never ask for anything sexual, but after she's done it once, even out of something less than kind, he would ask her to grip his throat and squeeze (probably to a dangerous degree), and there is ABSOLUTELY something pseudosexual there. If it's through the lens of masochism, and something she wants to do, then. Well. That's OK. - Since she doesn't give a name for herself, and he wouldn't dare be the one to assign her one himself, Vincent doesn't actually refer to her as anything specific. If talking about her to someone else, he simply uses descriptors. - Over time, the two of them build up some nonverbal communication. Vincent especially would grow very consistent about kind of call-and-response cues, or purring to signal enjoying certain things she does (or ways she treats him), probably even using unique sounds to mean particular things. - She's dangerous, sure, but she feels so vulnerable, even frail. Interacting with others in a more suspicious, more warded or even aggressive way when she's with him is almost guaranteed. He will put his body between her and strangers, he will obscure her, he will make the eye contact he wouldn't normally make, and stand up straight and threateningly.

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“Well, pretend I’m not here. What would you say if nobody could hear it?” 

A huffing trill, a scoff. "Why would I want to pretend th--that?" V smiles as they tease him, and finally it reaches their eyes, but the longer Jesper's words sink in, the expression slowly fades. Not to a frown really, but to something more blank.

"Don't know. Don't know. Maybe I.. want.." And there it is, right away. Want, want, want, want, always more, always something else.

"Mmore." Allergic to contentment, biting at the hand. "Than this.." It's a strike to the face of all that they've held themself to, and their palm practically burns with it. Something inside of them clamps down, no breath, no words.

By the time they push through whatever it is that's stopping up their throat, they've become aware that whatever is doing it is there for a reason, but it isn't enough to actually stop yet. Just to falter.

"M'always looking f-for the ..for" No. "I know, it is mine, to find the ah- right way to.. for it to be worth the listening to. To actually-to , find, how to get things a-across. But to find what to say to- to-to make things worth the staying for? Always chasing at someone's feet.. You are the only one who-"

The most momentary flicker of a glance up in Jesper's direction, an attempt at expressing hopeful gratitude, but suddenly, as if the strike against their purpose has circled back on themself, the wind is knocked from them, and when they flinch down, they cannot bring their gaze back no matter how badly they will it. There's a sting building in their eye, a wetness, and if he sees it they know that something unspoken between them will break. To blink would only usher that moment closer, and so they shut their eyes tight, redirect. For something going on about being worth listening to, this was already a failure to listen to him. They drag themself back to something more properly in line.

Compose yourself. Focus.

Good. Centering on answering him honestly, no tangents, no letting whatever that was grip the reigns and yank, they even manage to open their eyes again, dry enough, and loosen their voice enough to answer, not only more calmly, but with almost a kind of warmth. They earn the being listened to by listening. "If nobody could hear it.. wouldn't say anything."

[paper-wounds]

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[acidbodywoman]

@d-d-disgusting rusalka and slasher!abw???? when? now? yes?

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((HEY.. I am DESPERATELY curious of the dynamic you're picturing because is ABW serving final girl here, or something else? I'm looking, I'm listening))

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((teeth and metatarsals))

teeth. what lasting mark do they leave on others ?

Answered here

With an additional note that Vincent has left a few lasting marks in the form of scars on people out there <3

metatarsals. if they could disappear for a day, where would they run ?

Answered here

But also!! It isn't a where, and it isn't a real choice, but god, if there was an intentional option for just shutting off while awake and just not thinking or dreaming at all, he'd do that for a whole day in a heartbeat.

Worse, it's not even a fantasy he's chasing, but an actual sensation he's felt.

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Phalanges and Teeth

phalanges. what is their relationship with touch ?

Touch-starved from years of deprivation and the use of touch as a reward. Touch-averse due to not trusting others, not trusting himself with others, disgust at the enormity of his want. I'm SLAPPING the nuance button, it has everything to do with circumstances and his comfort!

teeth. what lasting mark do they leave on others ?

Answered here!

Additional note! There are absolutely people out there who believe they've seen a cryptid on account of an encounter with this dude.

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Teeth - What lasting mark do they leave on others?

This one is a real spread. There is so much about him that's disconcerting to strangers. Uncanny anatomical features aside, he stares, avoids eye contact, hides, occasionally talks to himself, acts generally dodgy in the way he speaks. Vincent is a looming, unplaceably foreign man who both looks and behaves as if unhealthy, easy to assume as homeless, holding himself in ways that don't rule out drug use, desperation, unpredictability or predatory intent. Objectively, the average person who sees him is uncomfortable on first blush, regardless of the kindness of ones intent. Along these lines, there are definitely people from along his path who have lingering memories of or stories to tell about this strange person (Or creature, for those who may have seen him in the dark, moving through spaces he shouldn't, behaving in impossible-for-human ways). Because of his presentation, on the streets in his usual life there are very few people who come away with a neutral opinion of him! He is very nosy, intense and insistent (And has skills he realllly doesn't give himself credit for), and so when he thinks he can make a change in a situation, he will very often make an attempt to do so, and so he's left direct impressions for better or worse, on more lives than he realizes. Where he isn't uncomfortable, frightening, or threatening, to some others he's been someone who has really gone out of his way to help or try to help in situations where often nobody else would, and in situations where that has worked out well, it's a few left deep deep impressions. Among homeless communities where he's more likely to linger, he is more known, and tends to have more overall positive interactions.

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humerus

humerus. do they use humour as a shield or a weapon ? what from/to ?

The things that make Vincent laugh the easiest are neither! Even though he would rarely initiate it, if someone is engaging in the kind of harmless crude humor that really gets him, he's very liable to chime in. It disarms him in a particular way. He seldom uses humor at all, but when he does, it's more likely as a shield, self deprecating as an attempt to entertain that's also sort of apology for himself/his behavior. Murder arson and jaywalking style humor has definitely seen some mileage.