i have no soul. @d1ldo-fagg1ns - Tumblr Blog

sometimes i think about how tolkien said golf exists in middle earth and then just never mentioned it again ever

Tolkien invented the absolute sickest and funniest backstory for the game of golf I’ve ever seen and then had none of his characters play or talk about golf in any of his works. the nerve

pflugy17

catholicismpharmacy-deactivated

alders-quotes

Sauron: I don't think we can mansplain, manipulate, or male wife our way out of this one

Melkor, grabbing his mace: Manslaughter it is

#incorrect quotes #silmarillion #melkor #sauron

alders-quotes

Maglor, crying:

Celegorm, gesturing to Caranthir to go to him:

Caranthir, gesturing to Celegorm to go to him:

Celegorm, making rock, paper scissors hands:

Caranthir, making rock, paper, scissors hands:

Celegorm, wins and flips off Caranthir:

Caranthir, mouthing: Two out of three, two out of three!

Maglor, still crying:

#incorrect quotes #silmarillion #maglor #celegorm #caranthir

eleivelui-deactivated20230224

sapper-in-the-wire-old

This thumbnail is killing me

yukipri

Baby!Smaug

Baby dragons are essentially winged, fire-breathing cats.

meatpuppit

aragorns autistic girl swag

the-books-we-travel

symphonyofsilence

Tiny Arwen : so where is your dad, Ada?

Elrond : uh...well...you see that star up there? That's my father.

Tiny Arwen :*looks at him with a sympathetic face* oh...Ada...listen...there's no easy way to say this...but...I think that's just...something they told you to make it easier for you to cope with...with your loss...when you were a child...i'm sorry...but I think It's time for you to face the truth.

shittymoviedetails

icryyoumercy

games that i think would be great, but no one will ever make:

lord of the ring ‘farming’ sims

like, the ring has been destroyed, peace has been achieved

sadly, the whole war has left ithilien, the shire, moria, minas morgul, the mirkwood, osgiliath, and tons of other places all across middle earth a dreadful mess

which is the perfect setting for having a random unimportant character go ‘fuck it, now that all the big warriors and heroes have done their job, i’m gonna do mine and plant some fucking flowers here’

and like. rebuild all of the things, and repair stuff, and plant flowers, and just. make all those places the story shows only in ruins be proper, real communities again

icryyoumercy

like: the player character’s parent is this great amazing warrior, and you just… never got into that, and now the whole war is over, and everyone is all ‘let’s celebrate our heroes’, and gets very… the whole thing fantasy does these days, where war against evil is the main focus, instead of actually living good lives?

and it’s like that scene in the beginning of a lot of farming sims, where the player character is sitting in an office and despairing, but instead it’s some sort of feast where everyone is bragging about how many orcs they killed or something, and also trying to recruit for the army, and it’s really terrible

and the player character just goes ‘nope, i do not want anything to do with this, i’m leaving, this was not what we fought for’

and gets, like, a shovel and a spade and a broom and maybe a pickaxe, and goes to find the nearest ruins left by the war, and starts tidying up

icryyoumercy

i understand that a lot of the tone of the books stems from some sort of magic is leaving, and the world is moving onwards, and that is just fate, because it’s now the age of the humans, and you know what?

fuck this. that just sounds ridiculous and some weird missing the good old days bullshit. of course it’ll never be the same, but that doesn’t mean it’ll never be good again, if we’re all working towards it together

nimblermortal

You are a hobbit. Your name is Junior. it’s the anniversary of your dad’s return from the big hike he went on, the time when all the Big Folk come out to have a party, when your Uncle Frodo’s face looks even more like glass than usual. Sometimes he’s cheered up when the littles ask him for stories, and he tells them of places he’s seen, ruins and vast empty plains where only, occasionally, kingsfoil grows.

“Well why’s that then?” you ask.

“I beg your pardon?” says Uncle Frodo.

“Why hasn’t anyone gone to perk it up a bit?” you say. You’ve been learning a bit from Dad, who can make anything grow. “Why didn’t Dad, when you were passing through?”

“We were on a bit of a schedule,” says Uncle Frodo, and you’re not quite sure what the expression on his face is, but at least it’s there.

“All right, then why didn’t you stop when you were coming back?” you demand. “You had plenty of time then. You didn’t know what was going on in the Shire, and you could have at least - at least -” Your mind is too full of all the things it takes to get a good garden growing. “I thought you said Uncle Merry and Uncle Pippin wanted to help Fangorn find his treewife, I thought they said they were going to do something.”

“You know,” says Uncle Frodo, and now there is definitely a bit of a smile in the corner of his mouth, “You make a good point. Someone really ought to go and follow through on those promises.”

The next morning, there’s a pony and cart waiting for you in front of Bag End. You think that’s a little excessive, until you see the cart is half full of tools and half full of seeds, and you know none of that was Uncle Frodo’s gift.

“Be careful out there,” says Dad, giving you a hug. “Your uncle left you his old sword under the driver’s seat, but…”

“A good whack with a shovel will do for most things,” you finish. “I know, Dad.”

And you pick up the reins and drive east.

elidyce

I would play the HELL out of a LOTR based game in which you are (player name) Gamgee, setting out to replant the world one flower or fruit tree at a time.