i feel like i needed to come back after watching bring the soul in cinema today. it made me feel so nostalgic and puny. i've been crying because these boys, they still mean the world to me. there hasn't been a day that i didn't think of them and they are still such a huge part of me. they are doing so well and it's crazy to see them sell out whole ass stadiums? the first time i saw them was june 2016 and they came to paris for kcon and the arena wasn't even sold out, october 2018 and they sell out the entire thing? on their own this time? 40k places in america? amsterdam, berlin, france? our puny europe? i'm so incredibly proud of them and tbh they still feel like my best friends. there are a lot of new fans and all i wish for them is to feel the same way about the boys than i do. for them to not feel alone with the boys by their side like i did. for them to grow with the boys by their side. and for a split second, when i'm at work and i see 12 year olds with bts t-shirts, i think "wow, aren't they a bit too young to listen to bts? do they understand what the boys mean to me?" and then i realise i'm happy they look up to those boys because i know they will grow up to be considerate, caring and thoughtful people and it doesn't matter what they mean to me. it matters what they mean to them. i don't think bts will ever fully comprehend what they mean to army and i don't think you can understand unless you've been in that position. and words are not enough, it's a literal feeling of your heart exploding with love for people you do not know but you do? ah, all i know is that i'm glad so many people listen to them and to their stories, to what they have to say. i'm glad little kids have a namjoon, a wonderful, well spoken, thoughtful namjoon to look up to. i'm glad little kids have a seokjin, a self loving, gentle, caring seokjin to look up to. i'm glad little kids have a yoongi, hard working, passionate, wise yoongi to look up to. i'm glad little kids have a hoseok, a bright, unapologetic, soft hoseok to look up to. i'm glad little kids have a jimin, a driven, genuine, kind jimin to look up to. i'm glad little kids have a taehyung, a positive, art loving, thought evoking taehyung to look up to. i'm glad little kids have a jungkook, a talented, warm hearted, joyful jungkook to look up to. i'm glad they have bts to look up to, because sometimes that is enough.