éphémère

i don't wanna be me anymore

[mournfulroses]

Zhu Xiang, from a poem titled "Reply to a Dream," featured in Modern Chinese Poetry: An Anthology

[e-vexhansen]

Popping a piece of pink chewing gum into her mouth, Eve sighed and looked around the diner. Everyone seemed to be in their own little worlds, including her. She crossed her legs at the ankles and swung them absentmindedly, silently judging. Unintentionally rude, but the uneasiness in her wasn’t settling.

In her mind, the answers to today’s revelations were quite obvious - their teacher was undoubtedly suffering from a mental lapse, or maybe his house was infested with mold. A family from her town suffered from that same affliction when she was young - they started challenging the church, and ultimately were asked to leave. Maybe he’d been practicing ‘magic’ tricks, like pulling a rabbit out of his hat - anyone with a brain knew that they were just tricks of the mind, optical illusions.

Her shifted eyes back on the other and she leaned forward - hardly closing the space between them. It was mostly for dramatic effect. “I think everyone has lost their minds.” She stated, her tone matter-of fact. Why was everyone acting like this is the first time something that seemed unexplainable could be explained by something simple.

Noting the books on the table, she reached for Dae’s philosophy textbook while listening to his question. Her curiosity getting the best of her. “Aside from Tillie, who’s almost always weird, and our teacher shoving his hand in my mouth at the dance,” she popped her gum on her tongue and let out a long winded sigh. “I’d say that we’re dealing with a classic case of hysteria, thoughts?”

Lifting the text from the table, the scrawled out questionnaire underneath caught her eye. “What’s this?” Once again, having no awareness of social faux-pas, she motioned to grab the paper.

[daejungpark]

The annoyance, no, the apathy for the situation radiating off of Eve gave Dae a sour taste in his mouth. In his life, Dae did his best to be friends with everyone, because everyone deserved to have someone. But the more he interacted with Eve, the less he felt like they could get along. Maybe it was because her emotions, to Dae, felt bigger than anyone else he had ever met. It was so easy for him to fall into the same state of mind as those around him, and she pulled him in faster than he could stop himself.

He leaned in conspiratorially with her to listen to what she had to say before he half-chuckled at her statement that everyone had lost their minds. Of course, she wasn't going to share some mind-altering piece of opinion; Dae should've known that. Any idea going against religiousity would obviously be blasphemous and downright crazy.

He brought his coffee up to his mouth as Eve started talking again. When she mentioned Dr. Koenig shoving his hand in her mouth at the dance, he choked on his coffee. Hot liquid seared down his throat before being spat out back into his cup. He continued to cough for a moment until he could gather his bearings. "Excuse me? What do you mean our professor shoved his hand in your mouth? How can you just move on from that?"

Still dumbfounded by the girl's admission, he barely even noticed that she was reaching for the very thing he was trying to keep hidden from her. It wasn't until she was holding the paper in her hand that Dae could feel the heat of embarrassment playing across his features. "Oh, that's uh," he sort of stumbled over his words for a moment, "just some questions I have for the professor about his admission. I thought it would be good to be thorough rather than just dismissive over what he said." And that was the truth for Dae. If no one were curious in the world, if no one wanted to take the plunge deeper into a subject, then how was anyone to make discoveries that would potentially answer many questions in life? "You probably won't find it interesting, though, to even entertain since you seem so put off by the mere idea."

[acaciamay]

"Hey. Stop that." Acacia swatted at this face, well to aware of his nervous tick. "I'm not asking you to tell me your deepest secret," she tried. "I just want to know more about her." If you compared me to her. "We don't get to celebrate life enough, just mourn."

His head was so buried in the book that Acacia knew he was not reading a single word so she kept her eyes down, if it meant that he would talk about Ana more. Her own blank page of her notebook was her focus, if it make him more comfortable to talk, but her ears were taking it all in. Not that he was giving her much. "She should be special if she got to be loved by you, but it wasn't just being two isolated people that brought you two together right? I mean, it helped but there was more. You are drawn to a lot of people, but for you to stay, what was it about her?" Acacia didn't want to think about it to much when it came in relation to her. What made Acacia a good enough person for Dae to stick around her. It couldn't be that she was one of the handful that actually got his name right or the fact that they had a dating history. She knew why she gravitated towards him, but admitting those thoughts and feelings were opening the path back to why she's regretted ever proposing they break up in the first place.

[daejungpark]

Dae scrunched his nose up as she swatted at his face, knowing his nervousness had been caught. He couldn't help but chuckle at how easily she could spot his tells. It was like she knew what he was thinking before he could get the thoughts to not be so jumbled in there. "It's hard to tell someone about a person in one sitting," he tried to protest, but knew it was no use. "I'd say you already know her pretty well. I think the best parts of me are traits I stole from her," he admitted sheepishly before shrugging. "Her kindness, her hard work. The way she could make anyone smile. I've taken all those things from her, selfish, I know." He hung his head, eyes slowly scanning over words that swam on the page.

"It wasn't just two isolated people, no. But we had similar backgrounds, similar ways of coming to America." He wouldn't go into detail about their lives or their coming together because that's not what Acacia was asking about. She was asking about what made him stay. "Honestly. She was the first person in my life who made me feel like I was enough." It was strange admitting it now, but that was the truth. "Isn't that all anyone wants in a relationship? To feel like no matter what happens between the two of you, that you feel like you are enough, the exact way you are?" But the words stung even now, the feeling that for whatever reason, Dae didn't make Acacia feel like she was enough. The inadequacies felt glaring now that he had laid out what kept him with Ana.

"It was so long ago now. I find myself revisiting some things about us, about our youthful love for one another. Sometimes I question it, though," he admitted. "That's the funny thing about walking the road alone. Even when you know there's nothing to be done, it doesn't stop the doubt from creeping in." He swallowed hard, blinking to keep his eyes from welling up anymore. "Maybe it's not as good as I remember it."

[olive-1x1]

Emmett rubs his eyes sleepily, battling the impulse to faceplant into the table and take a nap with a book for a pillow. Now that he was seated, the adrenaline rush of trying to get there on time was wearing off. Luckily, a waitress pops by their table and asks if they need anything, to which he eagerly responds yes, getting himself a coffee. Emmett raises a brow in curiosity as Dae begins scooting a cassette player across the table to him, though he couldn’t say he was entirely surprised. No one spent more time record shopping than Dae and Emmett did find himself rather intrigued by the offering. “Well, you would be absolutely correct about that. I’ve never seen more picked through library shelves in my life.” His coffee arrives at the table then, causing him to look up and give an appreciative nod to their waitress. “Alright, then. Let’s see what you’ve got.”

Emmett puts the headphones over his ears, immediately hearing the beginnings of “The Witch” by The Sonics. As he lets the music sweep over him, Emmett picks up one of the books off of the table. The front cover of “Where Witchcraft Lives” by Doreen Valiente stares back at him. He opens it up, beginning to page through it while Dae does the same with a different text. Words and phrases jump out at him left and right - “coven” “initiation” “strange cords of music coming from an unknown place” “witches could either kill or cure.” Emmett had never been a fan of the boring constraints of Christianity, really. To him, it seemed like the pagans were having a lot more fun. His eyes continue to glean information from the text - “a small cut on the tip of the finger releases just enough blood-” he lowers the headphones from his ears, placing them around his neck momentarily.

Emmett shrugs, a bit of a devious smile emerging on his lips. He can’t hide the sickening intrigue that has infested his brain with this newfound subject matter. “Is it so absurd, though? I mean, maybe we just don’t understand it enough yet. Think of what we could be capable of, Dae. Like, right here for example -” he picks the book back up, tracing his fingers along the words he means to reference. “Levitation, premonitions, curses, I mean - I mean if this stuff is real - I say we hear him out. Dom, I mean. Worse that happens is things get too weird and we back out, right?” Dae’s uncertainty is palpable and valid, yet he hopes to sway his classmate a bit. “Killer playlist so far, by the way.”

[daejungpark]

Dae perked up as the waitress came over. "Ooo, would it be alright if you left a pot over here, Darlene?" "Of course, sugar. Anything for my favorite customer." Dae gave her a warm smile as she pinched his shoulder before she walked away. Having a pot at the table would almost guarantee longer periods without interruption for their studies. Plus, Darlene knew when Dae had a lot of work to get done to leave a pot and only come over when he flagged her down. The fewer people around when they started to delve in, the better. He grinned slightly as Emmett happily took the cassette tape. Nothing would put him in a better headspace for this kind of work than the playlist he put together.

He tried to give the Metaphysics book a good look, but there was something else swimming around in his head. That lingering thought that if magic were real, how would that change the possibility of getting the opportunity to speak to his loved ones again? Until this week, the thing Dae turned to for his grief was the different philosophies of life. That's why he dedicated so many years and all of his college studies to researching as much as he could in an effort to find the answers. But none of his research would've ever suggested magic as being the solution to it all. He thumbed the corner of the page, curling it in as he stared at the words until Emmett spoke again.

The smile across Emmett's features sells it for Dae. Before he even speaks about any of what they can do, Dae knew in that moment that Emmett would be the person who wouldn't think he was so crazy for thinking of all of the possibilities. "I think you're right. We should hear him out. There's a chance all of this magic stuff could make our lives easier." As Emmett's enthusiasm seeps into Dae, he nods to himself before reaching for something in his bag. "I wasn't sure if I was going to share this with you, because I didn't know where you were with... Well, everything," he said as he set down Daemonologie by James VI and I in front of Emmett. "I remember finding this when I was in high school. My adoptive parents let me keep in because the book frames witchcraft as if it's a treason against God." He can't help the scoff that comes out as he's explaining. "But what I recall from it is that it is some of the earliest accounts of black magic. They claim Shakespeare was inspired by this philosophical dissertation of sorts."

With the nerves feeling settled, Dae took a deep breath before continuing. "Anyways, I found mention of this," he quickly flipped to the page he had bookmarked and pointed to the section on necromancy. "I know it's not as cool as levitating, but I was thinking maybe it would be cool to see if this is something we could research more."

[acaciamay]

Her assigned book from her French Lit class sat on top of two unopened texts. Every single school book Acacia could need right now has transported itself to the lawn in an effort for the girl to have options on whatever her mind wanted to focus on, however, the only thing that her brain wanted and craved was information about this girl that seemed to haunt Dae, in by extension, their friendship. 

To appear seemingly casual about it all, Acacia did have her notebooks out to reference her notes from class, even if there was not a note taken for the paper she should be writing. “Ana,” Acacia stated, not going to beat around the bush. She glanced up from her paper, trying to catch his reaction. “Tell me about her.”

[daejungpark]

Dae pulled his bottom lip into his mouth, letting his teeth dig into the flesh as he curled the corner of the page toward him, staying silent for a few more moments. He fiddled with his lip until a sharp metallic taste went across his taste buds. It wasn't like he didn't want to talk about Ana. It was usually more of the fact that he felt as though he couldn't control his emotions when he did. Even all of the good memories with her made him cry, and though he was an emotional guy, crying in front of his last girlfriend about his late girlfriend didn't seem to be the ideal scenario.

Finally, he let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding before barely glancing over to her. "Ana," he started. "Ana was... Well, she wasn't like anyone I knew before. You know, growing up around here, it's not like I always got the chance to see people who look like me. It was refreshing in a way." He waited a moment more before turning the page in his book again. "It was an honor to get the chance to love someone like her," Dae said. He hoped that would be enough for her, but he had a nagging feeling that someone as hardheaded as Acacia wouldn't let that slide.

[charbroussard]

Tillie laughs at his question. Something about its earnestness is so endearing to her. She grins teasingly. “I don’t know I haven’t found the book on that, yet.” A lazy finger floats along the spine of The Craft. She considers his question for a beat, turns and twists it in her mind to analyze all of its edges and angles. “Maybe we don’t,“ she whispers uncertainly. Her eyes are fixed on a small, sticky spot on the laminate table. Tillie is both there and very far away. She is careful about what she says next. "Discern them, I mean… I think we have to intermix the ideas. For instance,” She opens another book and hurriedly thumbs through the pages until she finds what she is looking for. “Okay like this - Protection. Black candle wax, Cedar, Pine, and Juniper, a pinch of salt, molasses, and one small black string. Place natural elements inside of a small jar and tie with the string. Melt wax on the lid to lock intent,” She skips over the incantation that comes next in the text, too nervous to say the strange mix of words out loud. “It’s just an experiment, right? And we can test it with the scientific method - form a hypothesis, conduct experiment, reject or accept. Simple. I think we just have to try it” The words fall so easily from her lips she almost believes them. She wants to convincer herself that it could be simple. Maybe then she wouldn’t feel as crazy as she does for entertaining the idea. “Jesus Christ what am I even saying?”

She is slightly surprised by his concern. Sure, she respected Le Troadec as an institution, but she didn’t feel as though she owed anything to it. She supposed his wariness is valid, though. What would she possibly do if she lost her scholarship? A shiver rattles her body at the thought. “I guess I hadn’t considered that. But what would he gain? I don’t know, he didn’t seem all that enthusiastic to share it with us in the first place. I don’t think he has such mal-intent. Though It wouldn’t hurt to exercise some caution..”

Tillie pops a fry in her mouth without asking. Her head shakes from side to side. “No.” She had been tempted to ask Emmett what he thought about all of this. Not that they were talking very much right now, but she thinks that maybe he would understand or be as excited as she was. In the end, she keeps her discoveries to herself. “I thought they would think I was crazy. Honestly, I thought you would back out too.” She throws him a look - a thank you. “But i’m glad that you didn’t.”

[daejungpark]

"Well, I'm sure we're not finding a book like that within 10 miles of this campus," Dae scoffed, forgetting himself for a moment. "Science and witchcraft might as well be synonymous in their eyes." It was no secret that many people on their very Catholic campus would turn their noses up at the scientific method as a way to approach something, but Dae's brows rose as he started to follow Tillie's idea of mixing the two subjects together. His eyes scanned over the words of the incantation before he absentmindedly read them under his breath, "harken, O veils unseen and old, by candle lit and circle told: I do conjure, bind, and seal a ward no malice may reveal." He blinked a few times, unsure why he felt a sort of bubbling in his stomach, perhaps from excitement or the possibility that something could actually happen, given they followed all the rules.

Dae shrugged, "I don't know, a chance to kick a handful of non-white students out of the university for not only going against Catholic values, but for engaging in something as sacrilegious as witchcraft." Expressing his concern did make him feel better for the moment. "I mean, I'm sure there are professors here that are convinced we're taking the spots of God-fearing white kids." Though he agreed, the way that Dom approached the whole confession made it seem like it was far from that, but it couldn't hurt to keep his guard up so he wouldn't be blindsided.

"You're the first person I've had the chance to talk about it with," he admitted. "I kept meaning to ask Acacia, but you know, she's... distracting." He sheepishly brushed a stray hair off his forehead before returning to the books in front of him. "I mean, it is crazy. I've been turning it over in my head over and over again, and it sounds impossibly insane." His eyes return to Tillie before he nods and smiles at her. "Of course I didn't. If there's something like this out there, that's real, then I think we have to get to the bottom of it, or at least a better understanding of something so... World-altering, I suppose."

[acaciamay]

curiosité // acacia + dae

@daejungpark “You don’t talk about her.” 

Four years since she’s met Dae in their co-ed orientation group tour of the campus. And two years since they broke up. In laymen’s terms, Acacia has had equal time of them being together as they have been as friends and in that whole time of knowing him. Dae Jung Park has only mentioned Ana once, maybe twice. Whether it be for the better for their relationship, but leave it to Acacia to finally give in to her curiosities. 

[daejungpark]

Dae thumbed through his philosophy text while sitting on the school lawn with Acacia. He made it a point to have them hang out together, whether that meant studying or grabbing a bite to eat. Dae just wanted to stay in her orbit. While he wasn't actually reading any of his assigned chapters, he pretended for a moment not to hear her. Because it was simpler that way. "About who?" he asked, swallowing the knot growing in his throat as he tried his best to languidly flip the page in his book.

[e-vexhansen]

She was done her classes for the day, and figured she could use the extra study time, seeing as their professor’s idea of extra credit was exposing them to indecent and lewd behaviors. Seemingly flustered by how entirely gullible her french class could be, Eve decided to entertain herself further. How utterly inappropriate of their “Professor” to imply the sheer knowledge of “magic”.

Where did he get his degree, anyway? Clown College?

Giggling to herself over her lame and corny joke, Eve swung the door open at Joe’s. Scanning the room, her eyes landed on Dae. “Poor boy,” she thought,“he looks like he’s seen the second coming of Christ” She raised a halfhearted wave and made her way over.

“Hey, Dae,” she said weakly, slamming her textbooks onto the table and sitting down- unaware of the other patrons turning their heads towards her in annoyance. “What a weird day.” As she sat she blew a raspberry from her lips, lifting her unkempt bangs from her face.

[daejungpark]

Out of all of the people in his Advanced French course, the person he suspected the least of showing any sort of enthusiasm was Tillie's roommate, Eve. Though he personally only interacted with her once, he, of course, heard some trite things about her from Tillie. And her pushback in class further convinced Dae that any sort of mention of witchcraft would be far too sacrilegious and blasphemous for young Eve Hansen. So surprise washed over his features when she actually showed up at Joe's. Especially since he hadn't directly invited her because of how she reacted in class. With how skeptical he already was, he wasn't sure that being around someone who wasn't fully buying into the idea would help ease his apprehensions.

When she approached the booth, Dae moved to clear his books from the opposite side of the table. He carefully tucked his sheet of questions underneath his philosophy text, certain her wandering eyes would see the book and stop looking there. In his mind, philosophy and theology majors were different sides of the same coin—philosophy as an almost radical skepticism toward whatever "divine revelations" theology majors sought comfort out of.

"Weird, I fear, would be an understatement for how these past couple of days have been," he admitted as she set down her things. "Though, has anything else weird been happening around campus?" They clearly ran in different circles, so maybe she knew about other things besides their shared professor's confession. He wanted to be careful with how he would approach that part of this meeting. He could only assume he would be met with sarcasm if he began asking any questions about witchcraft.

[olive-1x1]

Emmett knew there was something up with Dom and now it all made sense. Of course the weird guy who seemed like he had a secret actually ended up being a weird guy with a secret. Something about the mystery of it all did make him a lot hotter, however. The night after class, Emmett lay awake in bed, unable to sleep as his mind swirled with thoughts of witchcraft. Despite his knowledge on many things, he barely knew anything about the history of magic. He was itching to get his hands on more information, more books, anything he could soak up. When Dae floated the idea of getting together to discuss, Emmett immediately agreed. Maybe a little too enthusiastically. In the meantime, he spent his hours in the library, sifting through the shelves for books on metaphysics, paganism, anything that seemed like it might deepen the rabbit hole. Emmett checked out as many books as the library would let him and stuffed them all in his book bag. The last thing he would be at this meeting was unprepared.

On the day of, Emmett sat in his last class of the day, eyes locked on the clock, tapping his foot anxiously. The teacher’s words were garbled and indistinguishable in the background. The moment he can, Emmett flies out of his seat and starts making his way to the group meeting. He isn’t surprised to see that he’s the first one there, considering he basically ran. Emmett is slightly relieved to see only Dae sitting there in this moment. He plops down at the table and immediately begins unloading his pile on books onto the table. “Dae….I’ve only slept four hours in the last two days.”

[daejungpark]

When the class got the truth out of Dr. Koenig, Dae sat there mostly dumbfounded. Sure, he was ever the skeptic when it came to catholicism or any organized religion, for that matter. And he would've liked to believe that witchcraft was something akin to that, a practice with a cult following who believed in it well and true. But there was something about the notion of witchcraft that appealed to Dae. Something that could help bridge the gap in understanding. Because if magic were real, then what truths could he uncover about death? Just as he found himself straying further into those thoughts, he had to pull back. Seeking comfort and answers in a power greater than yourself felt like a cop out for grief. That's why he never turned to Catholicism, so why would turning to magic make him any different than the people who used religiosity?

Even still, pulling back for Dae still looked like trying to find every piece of evidence he could to bring to Joe's. He figured his classmates would scour the library and the bookshop to find any mention of it, so Dae thought to look elsewhere. Though books would probably be a better help, something drew him to Vinyl Resting Place to find any records that mentioned witches. The shopkeeper was very helpful, and maybe too curious by his selections, but he spent so much time there already that it wasn't too strange for him to pick out five to six records at a time. He spent a full night recording songs from records onto his cassette tape so he could lug it to the diner with him to do a deep dive with them. October Country, Eartha Kitt, Donovan, The Hollies, and The Sonics all made appearances on his tape. Even if it wasn't going to be directly helpful, he was hoping the music could help him gain some understanding of the new texts his classmates found.

As Emmett came into the diner, he gave him a hesitant smile, mostly glad someone showed up, but also nervous that they were really going to be doing this. When Emmett came up to the table, unloading all of the books, Dae swallowed the lump in his throat. "Sleep feels like a waste of time in the wake of this revelation." Dae carefully adjusted the books in front of him, letting his eyes scan over the various titles. He took out his cassette tape and his headphones and placed them closer to Emmett to see if he wanted to listen to what Dae had found. "Sorry, I didn't go the book route, I figured everyone else would've scoured the shelves. I found some records that mention witches. I can't say they feel very scholarly, but the music helps with the believability of it all. At least for me." He sheepishly shrugged before picking up a title, Metaphysics by William H. Walsh, and reading the back, discovering it was covering famous philosophers' ideas on metaphysics. He flipped through the pages, hoping something would jump out at him. "I just can't believe this is something we're even entertaining. I mean... witchcraft? That's absurd."

[arylleth]

Show me your thorns and i'll show you hands ready to bleed.

[daejungpark]

open // dae&…

Magic. Witchcraft. All of this was floating around his head, he couldn’t seem to discern what he knew to be fact versus fiction. Surely Candide was a good enough indication that perhaps the previous notion that unexplainable things in this world could be explained. What else could be explained with this knew expansion of knowledge? Now was no time to ponder, now was the time to find answers. Dr. Koenig mentioned that he was going to be bringing in books for them, but that was a week away. And the knowledge was beckoning.

Dae decided to reach out to his classmates in his advanced French course to see if any of them would be interested in doing some reading on their own terms. Perhaps they could come up with a list of questions, maybe some instances where magic could have been involved. He hardly even understood what the different kind of witches could be, or their practices. But he was caught up with his work for the rest of his classes, and he only wanted to dedicate his free time to this. He had set up his study spot in the back corner booth at Joe’s, figuring that people wouldn’t be able to hear more than murmurs from the table. He was a little nervous that no one would show up of course, but his head perked up as one of his classmates entered the diner, waving them over to him.

[charbroussard]

Tillie was not completely phased by the last French class and Dom’s strange admission. Truthfully she considered maybe her professor had lied about it all to avoid discussing the new chapters of Candide they were supposed to have read. But something strange happened that night. Sleep didn’t come easy as her mind was lifted and spun around with thoughts of the possibilities of what they could do together, what they could learn. Then yesterday, when Dae pulled her to the side to propose that they do some supplemental reading, she was fully willing and eager. Her mind twists this into a challenge and she accepts -  always one to want to know the most. 

Today, an electric hum buzzes under her skin from the afternoon she’s had. When she walks into Joe’s Diner she dons an uncharacteristically large smile on her face and she makes a B-line for her friend. Speaking without greeting him first, and too excited from the things she has learned, Tillie slots into the both across from Dae and rummages through her satchel. “Okay, I went to this very small, and very strange, bayou bookstore one town over. Had to take the bus and everything, but look!” Tillie’s fingers tremble as she pulls out a thick stack of books from her leather bag. The one on top is smaller than the rest - Plant magic: A New Green World. She opens it, her thumb bending and guiding the paper to a page that already had a fold on its top corner. She reads excitedly, the words dance in her mouth and she struggles to keep them orderly. “Plant spell. Accelerated cell growth, abnormal eukaryotic carnivorous attraction, a semblance of consciousness and desire - It’s all right here. Ha!” The laugh comes out like a honk, but she is too busy tossing the book down and splaying out the other books on the table to have shame about it. “I also have these,” Shaky hands work to turn the covers toward Dae so he could better read their titles: Dark Folk Practices of the Baltics, Translated Merseburg Charms, The Craft, and SpellBound. It wasn’t extensive but it was a good start. “I thought they’d be useful.” Suddenly her sense returns to her, a jolt in her spine. She looks up at him. “I’m sorry, did I say hi? What are you eating?”

[daejungpark]

Dae could sense her presence before he could see her face. A jolt of her electric energy zapped through him, wrenching his spine straight and rendering his skin to gooseflesh, as she bolted through the door. The smile plastered on her features kept his arm hairs standing on end, as if the static in between them couldn't get her over soon enough. Whatever apprehension he had before this moment was sucked out of the air when Tillie came into the diner, her excitement overtaking his emotions in a flash.

When she approached the table, the words seemed to tumble out faster than he could even comprehend. Perhaps it was because the very subject of witchcraft was so sacrilegious for an institution such as Le Troadec, with its very catholic values, that Dae hadn't even considered that learning about it could be an option. Sure, the few interactions he had with Dr. Koenig led him to believe that he wasn't there to uphold the "moral" values of the Catholic Church, but Dae knew better than anyone what it was like to be outside the religion yet so very ingrained in it. But witchcraft. That was an entirely obtuse idea as far as he was concerned. Not more obtuse than joining an advanced French course in his final year, with barely a grasp on basic grammar. But still, obtuse.

"You're going to have to take me to that bookstore before the week is over," he said in awe as his eyes darted and scanned over the books placed before him. Thumbing through a few of the pages of the Plant Magic book, he furrowed his brows. "How do you suppose we're to discern the difference between scientific texts and... magic?" He lowered his voice conspiratorially as he glanced around the diner to make sure no one else was listening. "Or if magic even exists? We've barely had time to process such a claim. Whose to say this isn't the professor's twisted way to, I don't know, turn against the very institution we've already dedicated so much of our lives to? What if we lose the few opportunities we have if we fully buy into this?" It was his turn to ramble, the air his fears, even just his thoughts, because he hadn't had the chance to talk about this with anyone. Not to the depth that he'd like to, maybe that's why he had asked his classmates to come dive deeper with him.

When the calm washes over Tillie and she brings herself back to her senses, Dae can feel the excitement channeled into his anxieties fizzle out. He shakes his head, releasing the escaping emotions with a deep breath. "Hi," he says, restarting the conversation. "I just ordered a pop and some fries. Told her I'd flag her down if I needed anything, so you know, we wouldn't have any wandering eyes. Just in case." In a town like theirs, he knew it wouldn't hurt to be too careful. "Have you been able to talk to anyone else about this from class? I'm dying to know what they all think."

[daejungpark]

open // dae&…

Magic. Witchcraft. All of this was floating around his head, he couldn’t seem to discern what he knew to be fact versus fiction. Surely Candide was a good enough indication that perhaps the previous notion that unexplainable things in this world could be explained. What else could be explained with this knew expansion of knowledge? Now was no time to ponder, now was the time to find answers. Dr. Koenig mentioned that he was going to be bringing in books for them, but that was a week away. And the knowledge was beckoning.

Dae decided to reach out to his classmates in his advanced French course to see if any of them would be interested in doing some reading on their own terms. Perhaps they could come up with a list of questions, maybe some instances where magic could have been involved. He hardly even understood what the different kind of witches could be, or their practices. But he was caught up with his work for the rest of his classes, and he only wanted to dedicate his free time to this. He had set up his study spot in the back corner booth at Joe’s, figuring that people wouldn’t be able to hear more than murmurs from the table. He was a little nervous that no one would show up of course, but his head perked up as one of his classmates entered the diner, waving them over to him.

[daejungpark]

emmettxclermont​:

open //

The thought of being seen at a school dance made Emmett want to vomit. Why did Professor König have to assign their attendance as extra credit? Of course, Emmett was going to take advantage of that, but why the dance? He would have done an extra five papers if it meant he could have skipped it. So, as a way to combat his nerves, he put back an entire bottle of Merlot in the entirety of the time he spent getting ready, which was about fifteen minutes. He arrived in Baker Hall fashionably late to find that the room was full of people. The music, the decorations, the lights - it was all a great distraction for his hazy mind. However, his mouth needed to start smelling less like alcohol, so he made his way to the bowl of punch. After serving himself some, he turned, unexpectedly coming face to face with someone familiar. “Shit! Jesus. You scared me.”

Dae didn’t often drink, but when he did he made sure he was still composed enough. The intention was to just let go of a few inhibitions. The alcohol did that nicely for him, it even made him feel a little lighter. Dae wasn’t much of the dancing type. Even with the alcohol loosening his shoulder, he really didn’t have an ounce of rhythm in him. He was just very stiff. That made for dancing and Dae to not go hand and hand. A brief escape to the punchbowl was exactly what he needed to do. Him and Acacia had plenty of other friends that they could see individually. Plus, it wasn’t a date. Dae was trying his best to convince himself of that. His eyes scanned Baker Hall in hopes that they would land on someone he recognized. And thankfully for him, they landed on Emmett. He made his way over to him quickly, probably placing himself a little too close to the boy before greeting him. Dae couldn’t help but laugh at the reaction Emmett gave. “Relax Clermont. I didn’t really sneak up on you, it’s just a little loud and a little dark in here.”

[daejungpark]

acaciabuchanan​:

She had her arms behind her as she stared at the wood door. Her elbows were cradled in her hands behind her, holding back all attempts to knock on wood because Acacia was nervous. She barely had any memory of asking him, but she did somehow and somehow he said yes and now here she was with way too much hairspray in her hair and wear a beautiful dress sent from her parents that, although it was very flattering, she was barely finding any comfort in. It was maybe just a tinge too tight in the chest area and a little too low in the back for a Catholic school, but it was the only thing she had to wear and she wasn’t going to not go.

Acacia wrestled her arms out of the weird entanglement she got herself into and knocked on the door, not wanting to stall any longer. And the moment the door opened to reveal his face, all worries she had just a moment ago disappeared, blown away as if there was a small gust of wind that blew through the halls of the boy’s dormitories. “Wow,” she said, if not at the same time as him. The stray piece of hair fell onto his forehead and Acacia reached out to pull down a few others, barely brushing his forehead with her fingers. “There. Now you don’t look absolutely perfect and I feel better about myself.” But somehow being within his gaze was enough for all the confidence in the world to surge in her. Being anywhere around him just made Acacia feel better. “We should. Last year of doing these things and I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else.”

It was a moment of normalcy when they had both expressed their remarks simultaneously at how the other was dressed. It brought him back to his high school prom with Ana. That feeling of going to a dance, experiencing the one of the many moments that teens get. While it was something that he wrote off for his college experience, suddenly he realized how much he had truly missed these moments. Just two people, pining for the other, attending a dance where they would awkwardly sway to the music. The small pitter of his heart seemed the be reverberating in his head.

His eyes followed Acacia’s hand and scrunched his nose slightly when she made his hair messy. “Oh, that’s hardly true. I’m not… I’m not perfect. Especially standing next to you,” he gestured to the girl sheepishly. “If there was something close to perfection, it would be Acacia Buchanan,” he mused holding out his arm for her to take. “I’m glad you feel that way you know,” he paused, “er… Not wanting to do it with anyone else I mean,” he couldn’t gather his thoughts quick enough. They were all running through his head in this moment, teetering on the brim of what he more clearly wanted to say to her. They started making their way to the dance, which wasn’t that far from the boy dormitories. “I uh,” he cleared his throat. God he was so awkward around her. “I wasn’t really expecting you to ask me to the dance that is,” he chuckled sheepishly. “I’m sure there are other guys out there that can hold your attention far better than I can.”

[daejungpark]

drkoenig​:

“You’d think I would know that, among other things,” he paused to laugh, “but tragically I am plagued, no, cursed with stupidity and lack of foresight.” His initial reasoning for accepting a chaperone position had been for the experience, to see what an American dance was like, but he had had enough of the experience, having stood there for an hour with the same glass of virgin punch in his hand. “I think I actually like the part that most of everyone here is not sober,” he rubbed absently at his pink tinged eyes, “makes it just a tad bit interesting. Are you enjoying the night so far? If you say yes, I’ll have to assume you’re inebriated and write you up, so choose your words carefully.” 

Dae was pleasantly surprised when Dom replied in such a manner. It was refreshing to have a professor at this school that seemed to be a little more lax on the rules. Though from everything they had learned in class earlier that week, it came as no surprise to Dae that Dom was far more relatable than the other Catholic professors. For one, he was younger than most considering Dae had a few professors that were one gust of wind from blowing away like dust. “I think they wouldn’t want us to stay here past ten, if I were to make a guess,” he glanced down at his watch. “So you’ve got some more time to kill.” Dae couldn’t help but laugh, a little bit of nervousness coming from him now, partially because he did happen to be one of those students that decided to have a couple before he made his way there. He glanced over to Acacia, who was still in eyeshot of him. “You could say I am having fun, a girl I really like happened to ask me. Though, that’s probably wildly inappropriate to tell a professor.”

[daejungpark]

charbroussard​:

open //

Tillie stumbled down the old corridors of Le Troadec with a hazy mind and a belly full of liquor. It wasn’t like her to openly be in such a state, but she figured the circumstances more than justified her behavior. School functions made her nervous. In the three years she’d been at her university she managed to avoid them. She much preferred the safety and quiet of her room, where small talk and dancing were not a requirement. She thought she’d be able to make it to the end of her fourth year without giving in. But here she was, spending her Friday night in a dress she hated, succumbing to the fear of missing out on extra credit. 

She’d assumed the alcohol would calm her nerves, but in truth she felt the same amount of anxiety. Though, now, she was a bit more willing to dance if the music was acceptable. Tillie takes a swig of the alcohol again, wiping her chin with the back of her hand as she makes her way towards the event. She doesn’t know who the flask belonged to. Having stumbled upon it while sitting on a bench in the SLUG earlier today, she decided to keep it. What were the odds that the universe would give her exactly what she needed to get through the night? She wasn’t going to pass it up, that was for certain. Upon opening it, she couldn’t tell what the dark liquid was sloshing around in the container. However one whiff clarified that it was rum. It’s so strong she almost gags, and when she takes a sip it burns her throat. But it’s all she’s got, so she doesn’t complain.

The swing of the music guides the girl to Baker Hall. She’s dreading seeing the familiar faces of her peers, but she feels a few sips braver than she did before. After taking one last discreet swig, she reaches into her purse to hide the flask. But in the brief moment where her eyes neglect the view ahead, her body knocks into someone else. Her feet don’t quite catch up and she’s falling forward before she has the chance to stop herself. A desperate hand clutches the other person’s arm to avoid crashing into the ground, but her flask flies out of her grasp and slides a few feet away in the process. “Shit-” She whispers sharply. She wants to shout a thousand insults, but she knew that her mouth wouldn’t work as fast as her brain wanted it to. She also knew that this mess was probably her fault. Realizing her hand is still clutching their arm, Tillie releases and stands up straight as quickly as she can, restoring her balance. “Um watch out?”

Dances were a little overwhelming, he’d have to admit. Maybe it was how dim the lights were, or how crowded it felt in that room with everyone else. Maybe it was all of the emotions he could feel. The giddiness, the angst, everything. Pounding all through his head and tugging at his heart. He just needed a moment to be away. It probably wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t drank a little bit, but now it was as if all of those feelings were amplified. Dae had almost made it out, almost. He could see the lights illuminating the doors to the hallway outside of Baker Hall. Just a few more steps —

“Fuck,” he whispered under his breath, his anxiety seeming to increase by tenfold as the girl clung onto his arm. It took him a moment for his eyes to adjust in the darkness to see just who he had run into so hard. “Tillie?” he questioned. He didn’t want to just pry her off of him, but the energy that was coming from her was only making him a little bit more annoyed that he had been interrupted from his escape. Thankfully, she let go, and he breathed a sign of relief. “Excuse me?” his brows furrowed, sort of surprised that Tillie had been speaking to him like that. It didn’t help that it was as if Dae had been feeding off the negative energy she was putting out. His eyes flicked over to the flask that had flown a few inches away. “You better grab that before someone catches you.”

[daejungpark]

drkoenig​:

dom & open // sadie hawkins dance

Dominick was now thirty-two, almost thirty-three years of age, and was currently attending his very first dance. They simply were not the norm during his time in school, and to an extent, he found the concept a little silly. So, when they practically demanded he chaperone the Sadie Hawkins dance, he was more intrigued than vexed. Would anyone actually care or show up? Most of his students would, he know that, after he offered extra credit, but beyond that, he had no idea what to expect. 

He was pondering this idea while glued to the side of the large mess hall the dance was taking place in. Admittedly, he was a little stoned and a little late to his duties. He hadn’t expected the event to be such a big deal, but the dance was bustling with taffeta and tulle and drunk minors who were not hiding it well. He supposed perhaps his duties would include throwing said minors out, but what was the point of university if you didn’t have a little fun, anyways? 

“You wouldn’t happen to know how long this thing lasts, would you?” He asked the person standing next to him, refusing eye contact in fear that his eyes might be too pink. 

Never did he think he would ever make an appearance at a school dance. It wasn’t that Dae was straight edge, it was just another one of those things where he couldn’t ever get the nagging thought out of his head that this was something his late girlfriend could never experience. That was alright though. Dae wasn’t here completely alone, which made him feel slightly better about himself. Though, he imagined with everyone in his advanced French class, he would be able to find someone to talk to rather fast.

He stood on the edges, mostly people watching. He had the perfect amount of alcohol in him to really enjoy himself. He was careful not to over drink, because the line between fun and messy was fine. It was only when he heard his professor’s voice that he looked over with a goofy grin on his face.  “I figured you would know this sort of information, considering you are the chaperone,” he pointed out before laughing slightly. “Already dying to not be surrounded by a bunch of inebriated college students?”