Her head hangs low at this. She hadn't really considered that anyone would be wasting their time on her. “Oh. Right. I apologize for that. I hope you were still able to have a good night...”
She sure didn't feel human, but she gives the other girl a smile despite this. Tillie knows that Acacia means what she says. But even still there is a gnawing suspicion that the other girl is disappointed in her.
She lifts her hands up to her sides, shrugging in a dramatic, exasperated way. “No! I mean yes. I mean- Oh, I don't know. It's just so embarrassing. I need you to tell me that everything is okay and no one will remember how foolish I looked." The pressure of her self-consciousness was compounding in on itself. She knows that it might actually make her burst. She feels the seems ripping apart, the cracks forming in her rib cage. The headache doesn't help. But then, maybe relinquishing her thoughts will finally alleviate some of this compression on her skull. And, luckily, she knows in her heart that the best person to profess this to is sitting right in front of her.
A sigh. "And I don’t know if I can .. I don’t know if - because I did something kind of - “ She rubs at her temples out of frustration. Oh this was truly helpless. She was so exhausted by the difficulty that she and Emmett had created for themselves. Mostly she was fed up with looking like a confused, flustered mess in front of everyone she knows.
Somehow, a sense of resolve finds its way to her. Her spine straightens. She clears her throat. “Okay - And resist the urge to judge me please - I kissed Emmett. Or, rather, I guess he kissed me first.“ Part of her feels like she will collapse under the weight of this confession, but a larger part of her does feel better to have said it out loud.
"I went to a dance with my ex-boyfriend because I didn't want to deal with any other male option on this campus for way too many reasons to count and was in a dress that was a touch too tight," Acacia recounted, still feeling the press of the zipper on her back. "Looking around for you was the highlight of my evening because it meant I didn't have to be present."
As much as it felt like it was the female population of this school on the desperate hunt for a husband, at the same time, there was a handful of men that seemed to be on the hunt for Acacia's time and attention. And as flattering as it was, off-handed and misplaced comments ran rampant amongst those few and it took all of her being to let them slide – for whatever idea of peace that was meant to be kept and placated. Especially considering a lot of said men where her classmates and possible group project partners. It's why Acacia often sought refuge with her French group. With most of them younger, the pressure of post-academic life wasn't pressing on to them as much as her and she sought the respite often. Even if it came with the flair for the dramatics and drunken antics.
She sat there, taking sips of her drink, listening to everything Tillie was saying and somehow catching so much more in between the lines than she expected for this early in the morning. The last thing Acacia wanted to do was infer more of the situation at hand but at the same time, it all felt so dramatic. "I mean this in the gentlest of ways possible because I adore you," Acacia started, making sure she was going to find the right words to respond with. "Kissing Emmett is a bad thing because...? Or rather him kissing you? Was it consensual? Did you want him to kiss you and did you want to kiss him? There's nothing wrong with wanting or am I missing so much more to this whole thing."
