Hail to the King

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

reginamalum:

“Yes,” she agreed, her own smile broadening, “I do.” She hummed, pleased with herself, circling a finger just around the tip of his nose before bopping it gently. “In fact,” she started, raising her voice as she took a large step backwards, “You might even say I was. Well… I suppose technically it was heaven.” She paused, tapping her chin thoughtfully before shrugging it off completely, “Heaven, Hell, it’s all the same when you’re a Cyberman, isn’t it?” Another pause, “But I’m more curious about your proposition. What’s your hell like? Is it bigger on the inside?”

Crowley watched her finger with curiosity, wondering what she was going to do with and why it was so close and touching his face. When she bopped his nose, he narrowed his eyes a bit before giving her a small smile. Clearly, the woman was loony, but he’d dealt with worse. “You ruled Heaven? I’m even more impressed.” He gave her a proper smile before giving her a small bow. “I’m not sure, I’ve never met a Cyberman, but they sound incredibly fun.” Straightening up, he adjusted his tie. “Well, one of the things I’ve installed in my Hell is a never-ending queue. It’s glorious, watching those wretched souls having to stand in line for eternity. But I have a throne room and there’s loads of layers to explore. I think you’d love it.”

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

Deal or No Deal + Crowley & Gwen

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

onesyllable:

While putting a word like ‘slaughter’ into her head wasn’t the most reassuring thing he could have done, Gwen was starting to believe Crowley’s credentials and accept that she didn’t have many other options. 

Nodding towards the blade and rolling her sleeve up, she half-joked, “Yeah. Get your cereal bowl ready.” Breathing slowly through her mouth in apprehension, she removed her belt and then secured it over her bicep as a makeshift tourniquet and- trying hard not to think about who and whatever else it might have cut in the past -held out her hand to take the blade from him. 

“I said I had two questions. Last one…” There would be no more stalling after this. Gwen shoved all thoughts of how wrong and ridiculous this arrangement was out of her mind. Her future self wouldn’t have to like it but it would want to understand. “If you need my blood to-” she shrugged. “Work your magic? Then, I still don’t know what’s in it for you.” 

Crowley smiled with delight as he headed out to find a bowl, once he did he came back and held it out for when Gwen began to make a tourniquet around her arm. “Yes, of course you do, it’s in your very nature to ask questions.” He commented, taking a decisive step back when she took the blade from him.

He wasn’t about to get blood on him or his suit, it would be a waste and honestly he was only going to use this blood to make a call... as for the rest of the blood...

“Ah...” he started, glancing towards the floor, giving a nod. “Yes, the all powerful question of ‘what do you really want, Crowley?’ Well, cookie for you Gwen, unlike some gallivanting oafs, you’ve asked me nicely; so in return you’ll get a straightforward and nice answer.”

“I would like a... let’s set it up for monthly, small vial of your blood. What I do with it would of course be my business but I can make the utmost promise that it will not be used for sacrifices or other various demonic and what you would consider ‘icky’ things. Call it insurance, if you will, but don’t worry, I’ll be kind in insuring that you’re healthy and getting food on the regular.”

He smiled charmingly at her, “It’s a small price to pay and at least it isn’t your soul, so what do you say? Either way, I’m still going to do what we’re doing now for you, that’s free of charge, Darling.”

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

What’s that looking over the hill? + Crowley, Doc, and Jack

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

harknessjack:

timeflieslikeabanana:

Doc stared in confusion at Jack, not quite understanding where the animosity was coming from. His comment had been directed at Crowley, and he would have thought that Jack would have taken his side on it - but he supposed that Jack was still sore about being ordered around.

Which he hadn’t done, for the record. Again.

Shaking his head, he turned his attention towards Jack’s leg. When Jack thanked him, he glanced over at the Captain. “Really, you can drop the formality, you know?” he said, moving to wash his hands. “You know what I think about it.” It came out half a rebuke and half an apology, and he wasn’t sure where it stood. 

–

“Right then, south it is,” Doc said, looking with distaste at the mini arsenal that Crowley had accumulated. “Really, you don’t need that stuff, do you? Not when you can explode things with your fingers. Unless that talent’s only limited to apples.” 

He set off at a quick clip towards the woods, but he hadn’t gotten far when he paused. “Wait, do you hear hoofbeats?”

@harknessjack

Jack gave Crowley a critical overview, wondering how on Earth, or rather Hell, this demon ever made his way to being King of it. “Give me… give me a pipe and knife, I guess.”

There really wasn’t much he could work with, but maybe finding something to attach the knife to the pipe and use it as a dual weapon….

And then Doc was asking Crowley about using his powers again and something told the Captain that the demon wasn’t really in-use to be able to actually use them properly. He’d have to keep an eye out for him and wonder if the other would turn on them within a moments notice.

Following after Doc, and making sure to stay close, Jack halted when he heard the distinct sound of…

Hoof beats.

“Yes, but I can’t tell which direction they’re actually coming from-can you?” He turned his head towards Crowley and raised a brow before stepping towards Doc again, getting ready to protect him in case the creature were to take them by surprise.

@daemoniorumrex

Crowley rolled his eyes and sighed as he reached into his coat and pulled out a (rather rusted) pipe and a (most likely dull) knife before handing them over to the immortal. “There, that’s settled; are you sure you don’t want to use anything besides that brain of yours, Doc?” 

He raised both his brows and moved to follow the two of them, giving a huff of a laugh when Doc made a comment about him snapping his fingers - only to look over and see that Jack was watching him carefully. Blowing him a kiss, he waved coyly at him before straightening up and continuing to follow the two of them from a safe distance.

If anyone was going to die that day, it certainly wasn’t going to be him.

He stopped when they did, making note to glance around and listen keenly to what they were saying and to what they were hearing... Yes, Crowley heard the hoof beats as well and as alarming as they were, it wasn’t as if the horse could sneak up on them.

Or could it? Clearing his throat rather obnoxiously, he moved to nudge his way between his two companions and to look up at both of them. “This might be my two cents, but as a natural born leader, and a king, I’d like to suggest that we do some old-fashioned splitting up and exploring?” Crowley gave a shrug and eyed the two of them before looking over towards the direction he was sure the creature was. “Just a thought.”

Turning back around he looked them over. “Who’d want to go with me?”

@timeflieslikeabanana

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

What’s that looking over the hill? + Crowley, Doc, and Jack

[nutloaf-deactivated20200228]

Doc felt a pang when he saw the hurt look on Jack’s face - that hadn’t been the intended effect - but when Jack essentially struck back by falling into soldier mode, that sense of guilt evaporated. 

If Jack couldn’t respect his opinions unless they were issued in the form of an order - which he hadn’t done, had steered clear, had offered reasons, however harshly framed - then so be it. If he had to order Jack to look after himself, then it was all ultimately for the best.

Did it matter, ultimately? Probably not. His mortal life was just a blink in Jack’s eyes, anyway. Better this way.

He continued smiling fixedly at Crowley as the demon retreated, shaking his head. “Some people assume too much. Fortunately, we know better than to rise to petty barbs, don’t we?” 

Grabbing his sonic, he focused cleaning out the wound in Jack’s leg the best he could, using the sonic to temporarily numb the area in something akin to shockwave therapy. It wouldn’t last forever, but it would hold long enough for one mission - he hoped. If working kept him busy and saved him from having to make conversation, well. It was a convenient excuse. 

[Some time later]

“Well, then” Doc said, as they met up with Crowley by the edge of the not-quite-burning-any-more field. “Crowley, what did you find? And which way should we go?”

@harknessjack

[occultfm]

Doc’s little snide remark towards Jack made the Captain clench his jaw and to tighten his lips into a thin line. Slowly, he forced himself to reply in as cool of a manner as he could. 

“Rise or lower?” This wasn’t Doc, this was someone else entirely. Jack didn’t recognise him and for a moment he thought he’d truly lost his best friend; and further the man he loved. When Crowley exited the room, Jack remained silent as he watched Doc work.

The care that the other was putting in to not hurt him was nice and briefly Jack was happy to relax. He was going to say something, at least to fill the silence, but decided it was best to just let it momentarily go.

That was until he’d finished and Jack was able to stand again, placing his hand onto Doc’s shoulder, Jack tried to make eye-contact with him. “Thank you,” he stated softly, an apology laced within it.

[after a while]

Jack hung back from Doc, allowing him to take the lead as they approached the demon. He looked up and met Crowley’s gaze and steadied it with a threatening one of his own, daring the other to just try anything stupid. “Have you happened to have found a Webley, by chance?”

He still wasn’t about to let his cherished weapon go.

@daemoniorumrex

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

Crowley spent a good majority of time entering the various buildings around the town. He’d found a few spare pieces of metal pipes that could work as a club, he also found some heavy sticks that could make great stakes.

Unfortunately all the guns and actual blades seemed to be hoarded by the Winchester’s and anyone else in the town who came prepared for this place. Which seemed like everyone and Crowley didn’t get the memo.

At least he could still explode things with the snap of his fingers. 

Heading back into the farmhouse he raided the kitchen and picked up some steak knives, assuming they could help if they really got into a pickle. And by the time he’d made his way back to the field of the farm he was mostly armed with a various assortment of makeshift weapons.

Now all he had to do was wait on his makeshift team of hopeless dreams. When they finally arrived, he turned to look at them and waited in a moment of silence for dramatic pause. 

“No, no guns, unfortunately. Sorry. But I will keep an eye out for your special weapon.” He smiled at Jack before sliding his gaze towards Doc. He had had his hands in his coat’s pockets and just as he could, Crowley opened up his coat to reveal all the weapons he’d stashed in the inner linings and on his person.

“I’m packing.” He smirked, dropping his arms. “Honestly, it’s all I could find. So sticks, pipes, and knives, oh my. As for your other question, we should head towards the woods to the south, it’s where we all last saw it.”

@timeflieslikeabanana 

[nutloaf-deactivated20200228]

A Time to Reap || open

[nutloaf-deactivated20200228]

Doc smiled as Crowley seemed to suddenly pay more attention. “I wouldn’t call it spying if you said it in public and I just passed by. But since I evidently missed the important bits, do you mind filling me in? What is more important than latte and scotch? Besides tea and butterscotch.”

Glancing at the finger snapping - really, it felt like Crowley was copying his signature ‘opening-the-TARDIR-doors’ move, he raised a completely unimpressed eyebrow when he was literally showered in apple bits a moment later. 

“Not quite what I had in mind,” he said. “You didn’t even leave bits big enough to make apple pie with.”

When Crowley repeated the performance, the other eyebrow went up. 

“I take it this wasn’t supposed to happen,” Doc said, fastidiously and uselessly brushing apple bits off his suit. “Unless you were actually trying to get me to change my suit.”

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

“Well why didn’t you actually say anything while I was asking? Really, it’s rude to eavesdrop and to not make yourself known.” Crowley scoffed, shoving his hands further into his pockets. “Teas alright, I drink tea, but it’s not a good latte.”

He did, however, make a face at the mention of butterscotch.

Posturing, Crowley turned and looked away from Doc. “It’s a minor inconvenience, happens sometimes. It’s quite normal in anyone, it could happen to you.” He paused and pointed at the other. “Performance issues, do you suffer?”

Wiping his own suit off, Crowley frowned and gave Doc a look. “Well it wouldn’t kill you to have some variety.” Pot meet kettle. “But no, I was actually trying to help. I see now that whatever this place is, it doesn’t want to help.”

He sighed and moved to grab a basket. “Well? They aren’t going to harvest themselves. Clearly.”

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

What’s that looking over the hill? + Crowley, Doc, and Jack

[nutloaf-deactivated20200228]

Doc listened with half an ear to Jack’s excuses, recognising in him the same trait that he had where it came to ignoring things. And Jack did have superior healing…

“What problem did Sam have?” Doc asked. “Sorry, out of the loop, haven’t been paying attention to what’s been going on around here.”

When Jack brought up - or nearly brought up - the topic of dying, Doc glanced up at him and cocked an eyebrow, waiting for Jack to completely miss the point of what he’d been trying to say. When Jack swallowed his words - clearly more because he didn’t want Crowley to twig into what was going on than because of any sensibility about Doc’s feelings on the matter, he decided to let it go, turning his attention back to the wound–

–when Jack uttered the next sentence, showing that he had, once again, completely tossed aside what Doc had been trying to tell him for the longest time.

“An injured soldier in the field is a liability,” he bit out, a lot colder and more harshly than he really intended. “And we’re short enough on people as it is.” The gaze he turned on Jack was suddenly distant and cold, a field marshal talking to a subordinate. “As any good commander should know - resources are better spent pre-empting a problem rather than waiting for it to explode during a critical point later.”

Part of him wondered where that had come from; certainly, it felt like he was calling up the worst parts of the Time War again, staring down a soldier foolish enough to question his judgment … but that wasn’t it either. Something coiled within him, something that had changed since the Pocket, a beast that chafed at the constant questioning of humans, the lack of respect, the frustration at misaligned goals… the desperation of trying to protect what he had left before it slipped through his fingers.

It was a small thing. Such a small thing. Just a little problem, a tiny bite, to a man who was immortal, but that was how the avalanche started, didn’t it? Everything snowballing until everyone was dead. For the want of a nail, the horse shoe was lost…

And somewhere in the background, Crowley was still rambling on, pressing buttons that Doc wasn’t sure he wanted pressed right now. “Of course it’s love,” he shot back at the demon, grinning darkly and just a little cockily, the usual devil-may-care attitude that he sported in front of threats and impending doom. “And if you’re going to throw up, please try not to ruin that lovely suit of yours. But be a dear and leave the question of focusing of efforts to people who know what they’re doing.”

@harknessjack

[occultfm]

“Sam went missing, the creature got him or something…” Jack trailed off, his brows furrowing with confusion as he glanced down and over at Doc. It wasn’t like him to miss out on something important like that, especially when it came to the life of an innocent.

However, it was made more clear to Jack that something wasn’t right with Doc when the other snapped at him and went straight into being his commanding officer. For a moment shock and hurt washed over his face until he glanced up at Crowley, giving him a cold and hardened look.

Clenching his jaw, the Captain bent his head and looked to the floor and listened directly to what Doc was telling him. When he was sure he was done speaking, Jack replied with a curt and spiteful “Yes, sir.” before straightening up and staring at the wall ahead of him. If Doc was going to treat him like a soldier, then that was all Jack was going to be to him until the other decided to change his mind and course of action.

None of the situation was being helped when Crowley spoke up and continued to speak up.

“We don’t need your-” he stopped when Doc snapped at the demon and turned to stare at him once more. It wasn’t the mention of love that shocked him, though it was nice to hear it being admitted, but it was the dark and frankly horrifying grin that spread on his friend’s lips.

Jack almost didn’t recognise him.

Slowly, he turned to face Crowley once more, eyes locking with the demon. “You do that,  find some weapons and we’ll meet you at the edge of the farm.”

@daemoniorumrex

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

Silently Crowley watched the deconstruction of Doc’s mental frame as he moved from his normal upbeat attitude straight into one of a boss. Raising both his brows, Crowley reached up and adjusted his tie before glancing over at Jack. Oh, the boy really looked like a brutally kicked puppy.

Giving a tiny smirk at Jack’s remark to Doc, Crowley cleared his throat and glanced towards the floor when the two continued at each other. Or rather Doc laying into Jack.

The demon scratched the back of his neck before glancing to the side and turning to look out the door of the room. Almost hoping someone would walk by and distract him away from the tension that he had somewhat started between the two.

When Jack started to yell at him, Crowley’s eyes immediately slid to Doc’s when he snapped at him. Oh. A confession of love, something that didn’t seem like it was ready to come out nor something that Jack was expecting to hear; and under any other circumstance, Crowley would have been delighted to sit and watch this entire thing fold out.

But it was Jack’s request and easy out that caught the demon’s attention. After about a beat, Crowley gave a small nod and cleared his throat before finally speaking up. “Yes, well, you two have fun repairing this marriage. I’ll meet you outside, where dealing with the creature is better than being pitted between the two of you.” As he turned to leave, he muttered a ‘Michael and Lucifer would seem tamer...’ and exited the room, heading out of the farm house to look for weapons.

@timeflieslikeabanana

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

What’s that looking over the hill? + Crowley, Doc, and Jack

[nutloaf-deactivated20200228]

@harknessjack

Doc was used to Jack being more suspicious than him about people, but he trusted the Captain’s instincts. Still, just because Crowley was a demon didn’t necessarily mean that he meant them harm. 

“Nothing wrong with running,” Doc murmured, glancing at Jack with a smile. “Often, discretion is the better part of valour. This Doctor definitely recommends running. Still.” He sighed a bit at the mention of a weapon. “I’m not going to stop you looking for a weapon. But I have to agree with Crowley - the chances of anything conventional working are… slim.”

He slanted a slight smile at the demon, one that wasn’t entirely friendly. “So you’ve fixed the snapping problem? I don’t suppose you can use it to heal?”

Moving to check out Jack’s leg, he shot him a dark look for not having told him about the problem. “Did it not occur to you that I could have helped with this?” he said quietly to Jack. Pulling out the sonic, he took a read on it, scanning for infection. “When did you get it? How did you get it? And is it going to slow you down if you need to react fast? No– don’t give me that thing about your deaths not being important. But even from a purely practical standpoint, your being injured may mean that you’d be less up for a fight than either of us would like.”

Glancing at the results on the sonic, and down at the inflammation that had set in around the wound, he shook his head. “Infection’s set in. I’m going to need to drain this.” 

[occultfm]

Jack let out a groan when Doc began to get after him for not telling him about his wound. “It’s just a bite from one of those tiny dinosaurs, it’s fine.” He tried to reason, giving Doc a pleading look and all but asking him to do this later.

“Castiel was with me and we were out looking around when we got attacked. He made sure I got back to town just fine, this will heal in time, my legs are just slower than the rest of me when it comes to-” he paused and gritted his teeth when Doc recommended-no-told him that he needed to lance it.

“Crowley isn’t touching me.” He stated, staring the demon king down. “In fact, I doubt you and I could come to any sort of agreement unless you can help Sam with his problem.” He wasn’t about to let Sam give up his life, no matter what the deal had consisted of.

Sighing, Jack looked back down at Doc. “And yes, it occurred to me but I didn’t want to trouble you with it. We both know that if I-” he stopped and shut himself up. Saying that if he’d died and came back he would be healed wouldn’t go over well and Crowley would have ended up with more of a domestic than what Jack really wanted him to be witness to.

Moving to sit on the bed, Jack decided it was best just to give in and let Doc work. “I still think we should be focusing our efforts on finding this creature instead of working on me.”

@daemoniorumrex

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

“There’s a lot of things wrong with running, namely the active part of it.” Crowley chimed in, not being helpful in the slightest. “But yes, I think I have-though we wouldn’t want to try it out on him, would we?” 

There was a slight bit of hopefulness in the demon’s tone that suggested he would be more than happy to experiment onto Jack. Find out what made the immortal tick. “Cassy was with you and he didn’t offer to heal you? Sounds like he’s lacking in the Angel quota, shame.” He smiled darkly, matching Doc’s look before crossing his own arms over his coat.

“See? He doesn’t want my special touch. Just yours, I suspect. I can practically feel the feelings from the two of you. It’s disgusting and vile and I want to vomit, but that’s love, isn’t it?” Smirking, Crowley looked down at the wound and then at the sonic before glancing towards Doc.

“If you what? Please, do go on, I’m enjoying this as much as you’re not.” Getting himself comfortable against the doorway, Crowley waited with a raised brow. “Fine, see it your way, I’ll go and be the only useful one here and find us some weapons to use.” Turning, Crowley began to exit the room. ”Oh and Jack’s right, we would be better to focus our efforts on the creature rather than him.” He paused again, “second time today I’ve been in agreement. Must be a record.”

@timeflieslikeabanana

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

What’s that looking over the hill? + Crowley, Doc, and Jack

[nutloaf-deactivated20200228]

“Moose? Squirrel?” Doc furrowed his brow for a moment as he tried to sort out the nomenclature. “I take it Sparkles is Castiel. We probably should have asked him - but if you don’t know what that creature is, I suspect it isn’t something from your universe either. There goes the easy way out, I suppose.”

Arching an eyebrow at Jack’s mention of a weapon, Doc shook his head and picked up the map. “We have a few leads. I thought I saw it head off to the forest, but I think there’s been smoke up in the fields near the spaceship. Either way could work, what do you think?”

Glancing at Crowley in surprise when he mentioned being fixed, he shot him a look of confusion. “What do you mean fixed? I don’t think either of us is broken, and if you’re gunning for some kind of deal, I’ll have to decline.”

He paused, then grinned. “And please try not to snap your fingers. Exploding apples is one thing…” 

Turning back to the map, he addressed both of them. “I’d prefer to negotiate if at all possible. Maybe it’s native to this world and see us as some kind of invasion.”

@harknessjack

[occultfm]

Jack kept his arms crossed over his chest, rolling his eyes at the demon as he pressed against him purposely to get by. “You’re a demon and I’ve been warned about you. Trust me, I’m going to question everything abut you and your motives.”

He sighed and moved to stand closer to Doc, clenching his jaw at the demon. “So what you’re saying is that when it comes down to it and we get into danger you’re going to tuck tail and run?” He didn’t like the idea of that, but even he couldn’t deny the promise of help; even if he didn’t particularly want it from the source.

Jack looked to Doc when he began to speak, nodding willingly to his plan even if the other was against having a weapon. “Diplomatic isn’t a bad idea, but I still think we should go in armed just in case this thing isn’t willing to listen.”

When Crowley mentioned that he needed to be ‘fixed’ and further when Doc reacted, Jack inhaled sharply through his nose before leaning down to expose the wound on his leg. “He means this, Doc.” He should have known that Crowley would point out everything that he wanted to keep hidden.

@daemoniorumrex

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

“Sam and Dean Winchester.” He replied, realising that not everyone would know his colourful nicknames for the boys. “But you’re correct about Castiel, he is Sparkles.” Scoffing at the very notion of them asking the Angel for help, Crowley sat back in his seat. “Listen, you could ask him but I can tell you he’s just as clueless as the rest of us. If not more so. It’s a character flaw on his part, he’s really just a baby in a trench coat.”

Throwing up his hands, Crowley gave a shake of his head. “I’m not looking for a deal, I’ve already had my fun with that with someone else.” Waiting patiently, he watched as Jack revealed his wound and pursed his lips in delight over the drama that was soon to follow.

“It was a temporary problem, the snapping, but I think my dysfunction has been fixed. I’m all ‘up’ from here, boys.”

Standing, Crowley straightened his suit and moved towards the door, only to lean against the frame. “Yes, let’s try to talk it out with the destructive creature set on trying to starve us all.” He glanced at Jack, surprised he was in agreement with him.

“But your oaf is right, we should come prepared in any case. It’s not smart walking into any room without a method of defense.”

@timeflieslikeabanana

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

What’s that looking over the hill? + Crowley, Doc, and Jack

[nutloaf-deactivated20200228]

Doc was usually the type of person to be on the scene with a fire extinguisher - at least he thought he was. But he’d done that already - gone down to the scene, checked it out, rigged up the tractor to spray water and… found himself back at his room, trying to calibrate another device that might pick up some of the stray wisps of Rift energy that seemed to accompany the creature in its wake.

“It’s nothing I’ve ever encountered before,” he told Jack. “It’s here one moment, gone the next - travels too fast to truly be a horseman. And the mist… I’m inclined to think that it’s somehow powered by rift energy, though that’s really just more of a working theory than anything–”

He glanced up at the sound of a knock, wondering who could be looking for him. Glancing curiously over at Jack, he started to move towards the door before the visitor opened and looked in.

To say that he was surprised was a bit of an understatement. “Crowley!” he exclaimed, looking over the demon. “Why, that’s… unexpected. Having a particularly good day? Or are you just bored? But either way, we could use the assistance.”

“That creature,” he said, cutting straight to the chase. “Any ideas what it is?”

@harknessjack

[occultfm]

Jack was still sore from the encounter he’d had with the Compsognathus’. His healing was taking longer than normal, due to his legs having the hardest times catching up to the rest of his body… As irony would have it. So due to it all, he had a slight limp, and one he hoped Doc wouldn’t notice.

He was also upset that he still hadn’t found his trusted Webley. At this point he was sure he’d never see it again and would now have to settle into finding another weapon. He considered briefly asking Castiel if he had a spare blade.

And of course the whole business with the fog rolling in and the crops being destroyed had the Captain on edge as well. He gave a nod, listening to what his roommate had to say, it all made sense.

“Hey Doc, do you thin-” he started to ask, only to stop when he heard a knock at the door and then to turn to see who it was when they opened it. Clenching his jaw, Jack stared at the intruder, something about him he didn’t like. “You actually want to help?” It was a bit far-fetched to ask, but Jack was willing to hear the man out. “Why?”

Glancing at Doc, Jack stood still and folded his arms over his chest. “I was actually just about to ask Doc if he had anything I could use as a weapon so I can head out. Do you happen to have anything of use? Or better yet, do you happen to know what the hell it was that happened?”

Both he and Doc had asked the same question; just one more friendlier than the other.

@daemoniorumrex

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

Crowley raised his brows when Doc exclaimed his name, seemingly more excited to see him than he was to seeing them. “Oh the day’s been fabulous, y’know? A few burned crops here, a razed bit of town there, all we need is a good ol’ fashioned sacrifice to really kick this party into gear.” He smirked, moving further into the room and pushing up against Jack as he slid by him to perch on one of the beds.

He opened his mouth about to give a reply to Doc when Jack rudely interrupted. Pausing, he slowly moved his gaze to the handsome wall. “Surprising, isn’t it? That I want to help. You see, when it comes to being stuck living with the lot of you, I tend to want to help to survive. It’s a terrible habit, self-preservation, but someone’s got to do it.”

Sniffing, he turned to look back at Doc once more, ignoring Jack’s request for a weapon. “I don’t know what it is, but I do know it’s not something natural. Whatever it is, it’s dangerous and probably unkillable without a special weapon with even more special ingredients. Don’t worry though, I’m sure Moose and Squirrel will get Sparkles to look into it soon.”

He gave a shrug, “unless we want to team up and go looking for ourselves? Come on, a demon king, an unkillable immortal, and a half-alien? It’s not just a premise for a sitcom, I think we could make this work.” He paused again and gave Jack a look, “but first, if he’s going to be useful, he needs to get fixed.”

@timeflieslikeabanana

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

Deal or No Deal + Crowley & Gwen

[onesyllable]

“Shame,” Gwen said, although she wasn’t really listening at that point. She liked a good Scottish accent and didn’t resent the country’s teams nearly as much as she did the English ones but Crowley had made a fair point earlier. Brits who talked like Harry Potter seemed to get a bit more of the automatic respect of the rest of the world. It was unfair, sure, but hardly a problem they’d solve overnight here and, really, anyone could fake an accent in a pinch. 

“We’ll see,” she shrugged, not amused that Crowley thought the task of finding her family would be effortless but, nonetheless, needing to believe, for their sake, that he could do what she’d repeatedly failed to. But his explanation came soon enough and she averted her eyes in hesitance. Not so easy, then.

She couldn’t really be too surprised, could she? Aliens were real and so was this impossible little farm town. Witchcraft and demons and possibly even vampires- Gwen visibly shivered -couldn’t be so far off base. 

“Cereal bowl?” She quipped, both from nerves and feeling the need to stall. “Who measures blood in food containers? You spent too much time in America, hmm?” 

Willing herself to relax finally, she cleared her throat and shifted to sit down beside Crowley. “Okay, two questions. One is have you had any sort of medical training? ‘Cause you didn’t exactly carry in a phlebotomy kit and I don’t fancy any bleeding I can’t stanch.” 

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

Gwen was a clever woman, just purely based on observation. Crowley knew he couldn’t play down to her, and knew that whatever he had to offer, he had to make it a strong sell. Otherwise, she wasn’t going to bite.

“My mistake,” he raised both brows and threw his hands in the air as a way to defend himself. “I’m used to dealing with obnoxious morons who don’t know what proper measurements are.” He paused and gave a small shrug. “I’ve all but drawn them pictures.” Though at one point in time he did draw the Winchester’s useful tips.

Sam had even provided him a crayon.

He knew the questions were to come though, and briefly he closed his eyes as he crossed his legs. Delicately he placed his hands in his lap. “I was a tailor in a past life, not exactly medical but I can stitch quite well.” Rolling his eyes, Crowley stood up and walked towards her.

“I enjoy a good, clean slaughter fest like the next demon. However, you’re in luck because I’m the King of Hell, and I don’t like to get my hands dirty without my apron.” He stared at her for a moment. “I’m also the son of a witch, which means... I can heal your wound as soon as you open it for me. Consider it an added extra gift to the many I’m already promising.”

Holding out a blade he’d procured from the inner lining of his coat, Crowley raised a brow. “So Darling, what do you say?”

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

What’s that looking over the hill? + Crowley, Doc, and Jack

@timeflieslikeabanana @harknessjack

It wasn’t like Crowley actually wanted to work together with anyone, but if this meant that he’d get the freedom of having people off his back by being able to say he’d done some ‘team work’ and maybe even helped a little? Then why not try some focused good behaviour.

After all, he didn’t dislike Doc, he just thought he dressed horribly.

Exiting the church, he made the short walk to the farm house -taking a stop to smell the razed crops- before entering the building and making his way up the stairs to the physician’s room. Knocking at the door, he waited patiently before pushing it open and peering inside at the two men in the room.

“Hate to interrupt anything, but since I know one of you is the so-called mayor and the other is a ray of sunshine, I thought I could offer my assistance in helping with... whatever happened today?”

Raising a brow, he stepped further into the room and smiled at the two. “Unless, of course, you two want to just sit it out and hope someone else will step up to the plate?”

[ontxtteredwxngs-deactivated2018]

What could Crowley really want from him? He didn’t posess a soul, so maybe he wanted his Grace? Castiel realized he was still smiling oddly before he dropped the sides of his mouth in confusion. “Did I not do it right?” He wondered how he could botch smiling. He had done it before without problems. Maybe he had done it wrong and everyone was too polite to tell him. Castiel straightened out his back, frowning now, not wanting to ever smile again for as long as he lived. “I’m curious. What did you really want?” Maybe he shouldn’t push it, but he was a curious Angel. Almost too curious.

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

“Your face was contorted into a forced labour of love. Only smile when you mean it, otherwise you look as if you’re in pain.” Crowley leaned in, happy to give sound advice. “Of course, I do enjoy seeing folks suffer in pain, but for you... it’d be like kicking a wet lump of fur. There’s no sportsmanship in that.” He admitted before sniffing and placing his hands back into his pockets. “Curiosity killed the cat, Castiel. Do you want to become the cat?”

[ontxtteredwxngs-deactivated2018]

Cas winced at the word and tried not to crack a smile. “That would be a very short playlist.” Castiel deadpanned, but there was still humor in his eyes. It was weird how he and this demon were getting along so well. It was almost like they were friends. “No, the farmer’s son did. It was from some book he read, I think.” Cas’ eyebrows knitted together in confusion. He didn’t feel like Dean was ungrateful, but then again, love was blinding, and Cas hated to admit it, but what he felt for Dean was definitely feelings of a love he didn’t quite understand. “I don’t know what that means, but it sounds like an innuendo.” Then again, everything Crowley said sounded like an innuendo.

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

“Oh I’d add some songs to it too. Mostly ballads, usually ones that have the word ‘Angel’ in them. Still, can’t beat a good cover, care to record some for me in your deep, gravelly voice?” Crowley raised a brow and smirked at him. “It’s still a terrible name. I ought to go to that farm and slaughter the family for it.” He was teasing, mostly. But he was more inclined to try to get a rise out of the Angel. “The more you know, Ducky. The more you know.” He repeated, smirking at how confused he’d made the celestial being.

[ontxtteredwxngs-deactivated2018]

“It’s not a pleasant word.” Castiel was no virgin…anymore, but he still wasn’t too comfortable discussing human nature when he had only been human for such a short time. “You’re definitely not the worst demon I’ve ever come across. You have your moments of non-assholey-ness.” Castiel tried to compliment the man. He liked Crowley sometimes. It was just hard to admit it when the Brit was in fact, a demon. “Yes, he didn’t seem to care for that much, but it was worth it. I miss Betty-Lou, though. She was a good pig.” He had slaughtered a pig that he helped care for in order to make sandwiches the boy’s could eat without being affected by Dick Roman’s mind control ooze.

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

“Neither is ‘bollocks’, but they’re all fun to say.” He watched Castiel carefully for a moment before giving him a nod. “That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me. I should have recorded it, made a playlist.” He brought his hand to his heart and acted as if he was touched. Which, truthfully, and deep down, he was. “Please tell me that you didn’t name the pig. I mean, I know you were a few screws loose at the time, but come on; Betty-Lou?” He shook his head and decided to move onto another point. “Dean’s a very ungrateful child, ought to be punished. Wickedly, too.”

[ontxtteredwxngs-deactivated2018]

“You actually want me to bake for you? Is this sarcasm? I’m not in the mood for it. Tell me what you want so we can form a partnership again. ” Cas didn’t know the first thing about baking, let alone on a parallel universe. Did this place even have an oven anywhere? “As for niceness. .. I can certainly try that.” Castiel calmed his tone and flashed a friendly smile to the demon.

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

Crowley cocked his jaw out and rose both his brows as he waited for Castiel to finish speaking. “You see, I would tell you what I really want, but you’d say no.” He flashed a quick smile before stepping closer to him. “So, allow me to request a cake as it’s high on the list of things I’ll accept an-” he paused and furrowed his brows as Castiel smiled at him. “Good God, what are you doing? Is that a smile? Don’t do that. Don’t ever do that again.”

[ontxtteredwxngs-deactivated2018]

“You’re both consenting adults. What you did with your genitals is your business. ” Cas said, a bit uncomfortable talking about such subjects so openly. “And you were hardly best friends. He was your partner in crime. Didn’t you set demons on him to keep the mark quenched? Doesn’t sound like besty behavior. ”

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

“I bet that kills you to say the word ‘genitals’ aloud, doesn’t it?” Crowley squared his shoulders and let out a laugh. “Cassie, you’re my favourite little halo, have I ever told you that? Because it’s true. Honest to... me. Hand over heart and all of that.” He paused and then gave a shrug. “Didn’t you feed him organic sandwiches when Dick was out and about? We all do things for the ones we care about. It’s the same thing, really.”

[reginamalum]

Missy grinned, pleased with this Crowley creatures deduction. Maybe she was susceptible to flattery after all. “Oh, I know,” she agreed, taking a casual step towards him, getting inside his bubble. She liked to maintain control, who seemed to pose no threat apart from stroking her ego. “You’re already my secret favourite,” she gave him a conspiratorial wink, raising a finger to her lips, “Shhh. Don’t tell the others. Mummy’s got plans to ensure everyone starts seeing things your way.”

[daemoniorumrex-blog]

Crowley squinted as she stepped inside his personal space. Normally he would be the one to do that, but it would seem he and this woman were one in the same in making people uncomfortable. He allowed a grin when she flattered him, something between being flattered and being suspicious. “If you were from my little slice of Earth, I’d almost ask if you’d like to co-rule Hell with me. You’d make a wonderful Queen.”