Daily Dispatch

As a busy introvert, I feel like my mind is too cluttered with worries about work, family, or life in general and I don't get to process my thoughts with anyone because most of them are too busy dealing with their own issues. I don't want to get choked by these thoughts, nor do I want them to be buried to oblivion in mind. So I built this space for this. For my thoughts. For them to be heard. Avatar c/o Icons made by Freepik from www.flaticon.com

[innerpeaceonly]

I got my heart broken and I survived, I failed 3 courses in university and graduated, I got rejected in the very first job I applied for and got promoted yesterday, I went through hard times with my family but then two years later, we laughed our hearts out over lunch, The closest friends disappointed me several times but I made new friends and loved them with all my heart. I did it once, I can do it again.

[dailydispatch]

This is such an encouragement!

I failed two courses in law school, my batchmates just graduated last Sunday. I want to be (and I am) happy for them but I can't help but wonder when my time will come.

I have been skulking for most of this week and reading this gave me comfort that you know, life goes on. You win some, you lose some. And it's not the end as long as you keep moving, keep fighting.

[dailydispatch]

[dailydispatch]

Because of the words hurled at me, especially the ones which are undue and uncalled for, I'd often feel like whatever I do, however I strive to be this daughter who could be worthy of appreciation, I would never be able to fulfill the expectations of my mother.

Even if I do the household chores, at the expense of my other responsibilities, I would still be tagged as the lazy child, the one who never helps. All the sacrifices go down the drain, unnoticed.

All she sees are her hurts, her pain, her struggles, her being tired. Who cares about my other responsibilities? Who cares about my studies? It's as if my sole mission in life should be to serve and please her.

If I voice my concerns, I'd also be tagged as the disrespectful one. So sometimes even if I'm already struggling with all the responsibilities, I'd just suck it up. I won't say a word because how dare I talk back to them.

[my-52-weeks-with-christie]

[dailydispatch]

After obssessing and clinging onto Sherlock Holmes since 2005, I have finally dared to read a Hercule Poirot novel (I still feel as though I'm betraying Sherlock, but I need my detective novel fix).

My first HP novel is the Murder on the Orient Express. Really enjoyed it, albeit there was a time when I got confused with all the characters involved. After my enjoyment, I searched the net to see the other novels. I learned soon enough that Murder on the Orient Express was not the first one - it was, in fact, The Mysterious Affair at Styles. And so I read it and my, my, my, what a story! Pretty much like a rollercoaster ride, this one is!

Now, I'm planning to read all of the novels in chronological order. Wish me luck!

[prymetimepublishing]

“Instinct is a marvelous thing. It can neither be explained nor ignored.”

— Agatha Christie, The Mysterious Affair At Styles

[dailydispatch]

My boyfriend and I had more-than-two-hour calls since yesterday, and it has been so much fun.

We discussed the book I'm currently reading which is about the spirit of offense, we listened to a 20-minute preaching about it and we also had a time where we processed what we learned about it and how we can apply it to our lives.

Hopefully, his internet signal gets better so we could also try watching movies (virtually) together.

[dailydispatch]

Seeing as how I grew up in a slightly toxic environment, I'm starting to think that I may be the toxic friend in my circles. 🤔

[dailydispatch]

I have been a reader ever since before I can remember. Even as a child, I knew and felt what it was like to be able to escape into a different world where none of my worries and concern exist.

On some days, I'd read through my novels. On most days, I'd devour the newspapers bought by my father daily. The information I absorbed through those writings earned me some quiz bee medals. Even when I left home to earn a college degree, it still remained a big part of my life.

I remember talking to my first boyfriend in college (or ever) excitedly and animatedly about Inkheart and how the characters were trapped in a book. In my first job, I also remember bringing the Fangirl (by Rainbow Rowell) with me when I did some audit field work in the client's office. I recall eating quickly so I could spare a few minutes to read the love story of Cath.

Fast forward to today, I'd often find myself preferring the Netflix/movie version compared to the book. Of course it was because I did not give the book so much as a glance. Today, while navigating this WFH concept, I would find myself having a lot of time and yet having none at all.

I'd be so preoccupied with the work I'm doing and the worries I'm carrying that I would get too tired to do anything at all, moreso read a book. I looked at the once-prized hobby as nothing more than a waste of time.

Then, at one point, I felt a strange dull in my mind. And then I also felt that my constant state of being tired can no longer be eased by the Netflix shows or YouTube. Even sleeping makes me tired sometimes. And then I realized I wanted an escape. Not permanent escape. But somewhere I can go to take my mind off things, albeit temporarily. Then it occurred to me - books! Of course!

So I bought a Kindle Paperwhite 4 and now, I am pleased to announce that I am in my third book since June 10. My pace is still a bit on the slower side but meh, as long as I'm getting back to loving this again, I have no complaints.

[dailydispatch]

Lucky to Know You

SayWeCanFly · Song · 2018

“Sometimes I wish the world could know just who you are to me But some days I feel selfish like you're a secret I should keep Who would've thought you'd be the one I got so close to I'm lucky to know you”

Most days, this is exactly how I feel about you. Thank you for choosing to love me each and every day. I love you, my Love.