Dylan Moran

The birds are swaying, the trees are singing.

[shearsmith]

[britishcomedyoverflowing]

Dylan Moran’s Wine Guide

[56867789789-deactivated20210420]

[dailydoseofdylanmoran]

get to know me || 5 male characters; Bernard Black

To be honest, after years of smoking and drinking, you do sometimes look at yourself and think, in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of corner-shop piss at 3 a.m., you do sometimes look at yourself and think, “This is fantastic. I’m in heaven.”

[enya-died-for-our-sins-deactiva]

Go and get a job. Go and find a flat. Find somebody else. Put them in the flat. Make them stay. Get a toaster. Go to work. Get on the bus. Look at your boss. Say “fuck”. Sit down. Pick up the thing. Go blank. Scream internally. Go home. Listen to the radio. Look at the other person. Think, “WHY? Why did this happen?”. Go to bed. Lie awake! At night! Get up. Feel groggy. Put the things on – your clothes – whatever they’re called. Go out the door, into work – same thing! Same people, again, it’s real, it is happening, to you. Go home again! Sit, radio, dinner – mmm. Gardening, gardening, gardening, death.

Dylan Moran

[teflonly]

[rentorama]

A Film With Me In It dir. Ian Fitzgibbon, 2008

Synopsis: A dissolute scriptwriter and a dejected actor become unwittingly drawn into a labyrinthine mess when several people experience bizarre accidental deaths in their flat. Though the men didn’t deliberately cause any of the incidents, they fear that they will be unfairly pegged as murderers if they relay information to the cops. Meanwhile, as the hapless victims of fate wage a valiant battle to take control of their bizarre situation, their gruff landlord makes an already tense situation absolutely unbearable

Thoughts: Really you can put anything for the UK in front of me and I’ll probably like it, this was no exception. I haven’t really seen many Irish films so this was a nice way to get my toes wet. I would say this is this is on the darker end of the black comedy scale, while the situations is obviously ridiculous, Pierce and Mark (our leads played by Dylan Moran and Mark Doherty), live such utterly depressing lives you can’t help but feel their pain and helplessly root for them.

The end was absolutely ace.

[fieryfalcon]

I always remember, my granny used to say to me: The neck and the groin, the neck and the groin. Doesn’t matter how big the fucker is, they’ve all got a neck and a groin.

Dylan Moran, "What It Is"

[wordscomeoutallweird-deactivate]

Who sleeps, really? If you’re a proper adult person in the 21st century, how can you relax, at all? Your mind keeps churning. You think, “What if this thing happens?! What if that thing happens?! What if they happen together?! What if I lose my job?! I hate my fucking job! But what if I lose it?” Your mind is a hive of worms. And worms don’t live in a hive, so it already feels unnatural. You lie in bed, beside your partner… “What if I died?!” If you don’t have a partner, you just think, “What if I died? …Okay, I would be dead.” But if you do have a partner and family, you’d think, “What if I died? How would they cope?” They wouldn’t! They would be out in the street in half an hour, stealing food from seagulls mouths! Or worse! They WOULD cope! They’d have a much nicer, cleaner house! And an improved sense of self-worth. Probably more money! And inevitably your partner would find somebody within the first 3-4 days, and begin a tumultuous sexual relationship. They would be having sex a lot in your bed when you were dead! The morning, the afternoon, the evening, and the night time would be the main times they would be having sex, in your bed, when you were dead. Feeding each other lobster with their bare hands, to give each other more energy to try it in new and more demanding ways. When your realise you are lying besides somebody who is waiting for you to die! And what’s more, they’re sleeping to make the time go faster.

-Dylan Moran, On adulthood

[fornootherreasondave]

send help

[protectcharles]

[un-lunario]

[izzrdmoved-deactivated20140826]

Bernard Black in “Cooking the Books”

[steampumpkins]

I feel like my spirit animal is a mixture of Charlie Brooker and Bernard Black

[keerabella]

They’re life ruiners, they ruin people’s lives: Dylan Moran

"I draw hundreds and hundreds of pictures of sort of gnarly looking men, so I don’t know what that tells you. People who look like… they’re waiting for a sandwich that’s never going to come. I don’t know what’s wrong with me."

[iloveyoumiketoreno]

[missobliviate]

It’s official, the limitless perfection of Dylan Moran has ruined my life. I’ll spend the rest of my existence crying over this incredible man.

[hipster-black-books]