daily food lovers @dailyfoodlovers - Tumblr Blog

I don't want to hurt you. I want to feed you

(were at a small house party that's mostly continued to the living room) hey can i talk to you in the kicthen for a second? (we go to the kitchen together) so this box here (gesturing to the fridge) its very cold inside, but if i leave it open long enough it stops. Now this other box (pointing to the oven) its normal right now but sometimes its very hot, even on top. and opening it does little to help in either case (now pulling you the pantry) this is my favourite box, because the tempereraure is always just right (I walk inside of it and close the door behind me) And I can always go here when I want to play with my toys (you hear a muffled gunshot shot, multiple screams, an alarm starts blaring inside the pantry, I run out of the closet hoisting a big brown sack full of canned goods, a security guard attempts to tackle me but you block him with your body. You don't know why you do it, you've always been pro death penalty, and are starting to get mad that this guy isn't attempting lethal force. You think he'd be justified in any action, no matter the consequence, if I already shot first. God why did I bring you to this party, I forgot how fucking chuddy you are)

after 40 minutes check on potatoes every 2 - 4 minutes until they are ready to apologize and rejoin the party

Breakfast Should Refresh You

Lunch Should Encourage You

Dinner Should Challenge You

Supper Should Make You Wonder

chegf says im not allowed back in the dishpit. not until i learn how to clean off utensils correctly. not until i learn how to clean them throat nicely

I have hired a team fof engineers to design an American cheese slice so thin that's it's only a $2 upcharge to add it on top of your burger ($11) and fries ($7.50)

A lot of people aren't happy anymore. Haven't been hungry in a long time haven't been happy. In a long time. Meals are getting bigger and soon we gonna running scared

flipchild

Most people don't respect finishing in the oven. But most aren't chefs

Unique trick to take longer to boil water useful in kitchen prep for longer cook times and taking longer to boil water

UTI got my penis read and swollen hold on okay google can penis get UTIs I wouldn't know I never had one okay google said yes call that an uncured sausage

Sometimes when I don't even close the door all the way when I pee lol sometimes I leave it open just a crack lol

I have just been informed of a cucumber salad that is majorly going viral