Daily Frozen Second

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10 years since I graduated from College. Hindi rin magbabago ang damdamin.

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August 2024

Thank you Lord for healing us!

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Dalawang buwan

Mukha namang umookay na tayo. Kapit lang, laban lang. Ang hirap maging adult.

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Mayroong mas matimbang

Love is greater and it will cure all the anxiety, pain, and regret. Stand by love, because love conquers all. Love is a great force that will heal.

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Grasping for sobriety

There are moments when I am sober and clear and I just want to keep the feeling. I have to navigate this mind of mine to know how to come back to this proper mental state. I hope it sticks, and I hope it stays. But one thing for sure, it means that it is possible for me to recover and be back in this healthy form of mind. I just have to trust the process, and trust God. Thank you so much.

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When I was young, I was so excited with Valentine’s. This changed when I matured and became a non-believer.

As I entered adulthood, I realized that our moments are short and lives should be celebrated to the fullest regardless of the situation we are in.

I love you so much, bebi. Thank you for keeping me sane. I hope I can take care of you too.

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A glimmer of hope:

I am looking for answers, in these dark days. Thank you Lord for giving me signs and light. This is probably the hardest mental challenge I encounter, but the Lord is stronger than my problems and I trust that He has plans for me. For the first time in months, I was able to experience life again—there is hope, there is light at the end of everything.

It is still challenging, malayo pa rin sa full healing, pero may pag-asa. Ang Panginoong Diyos ay nakikinig. Hindi Niya tayo pababayaan.

May pagmamahal sa paligid ko, at lalaban ako.

#LabanEdek

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January Pre-nup given the limitations.

House blessed with family, was able to talk to therapist, had some sober moments. Overall good days. Healing through the power of Christ.

We know that the Lord is with us and He will guide us through the hard times.

I am very thankful that Keith is always there to accompany me through the sickness and the hard times. I need to be okay so I can love them better.

#prayer #blessed #healing

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From thy days when I’m sober,

I want you to know that you are the one.

The one that God allowed, and the one that destiny showed. My love for you is both exciting and calm. You are the peaceful sea at night that gently puts me to sleep, but also the heartbeat that makes me jump.

You make me sing, dance, and write. You also make me do nothing, sleep, and rest. One thing for sure, I love you, and you love me. God is our witness and provider, we know this love is foreveryday.

When my mind is chaotic, you’re the foundation I want to run to. I am calm right now yet you’re still the one I want to be with.

Mahal na mahal kita Keith. Salamat Kulot—sabi ko noon, nawa’y masuklian. Panalangin ko ngayon, nawa’y magtagal.

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Today is a good day ✨

After confusion, pain, and extreme hurt, the Lord answers even our most desperate prayers. Salamat po nang maraming marami. Nawa ay magtuloy-tuloy.

#LabanEdek #milkeith #edekeith

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Trust the process.

Thank you Lord.

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11t January Reflection:

Grinding to reach my goal of recovery is never easy. There are so many triggers all over the place. But I know I will succeed. With God with me, discipline, and hard work, I will be healed.

It’s dawning why things happened the way they did, but it’s still hurting me so much. Lord please heal us.

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Approaching forgiveness and understanding

Sometimes, sad and bitter truths will break us, but it will also liberate us from the agony and pain of overthinking and paranoia.

If you truly believe in kindness and goodness, and the power of love to heal, then your fears must be faced when you're ready and let time do its course.

Lord, we pray for healing and forgiveness. Lord we pray for strength. My valiance is frail when it comes to my personal tests. Lord, we pray for clarity and peace.

We know You will not forsake us. Guide us in this time of healing, reconciliation, and recovery.

Let me understand that the physical and earthly hangups are just that. That there are higher connections that are more important and true.

That I learn to forgive myself and we to ourselves. Lord be the light that guides our path to forever.

Our love is stronger and deeper. Thank you.

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Wow what a week it has been, I wish I can upload everything, but these are my favorites featuring my future wife. Mahal na mahal kita Keith.

(this was supposed to be uploaded before the new year, I didn’t realize it did not post then)

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The Dragon Slayer needs to move on.

He thought he can soldier on. He thought he can be strong. But the visual and thinker gets triggered by any thought or idea which reminds him of the battle.

But the hurt is done and he continues to bleed. He cannot ask for help or at the very least it is only him who can help himself.

His steed stands high near him. He plays and cheers him up but to no avail.

He realizes that a dragon warrior is not just a warrior of love. He is also a warrior of the people, and that many rely on him, not just to slay dragons but to be an inspiration. His love for the people will not waiver.

He shares his frustrations, disappointments, and tears but no one can cure the poison growing in his heart.

He now understands that for him to conquer this kind of dragon he must face it head on, slay it, and move on.

"Oh, how powerful is love? That love can turn such a strong person so fragile. How true is love so divine that it can heal whatever pain that our hero suffer?"

He knelt and pray. He knows that it is only through a Being so powerful that his heart can be whole again. He knows that while the quest is done, the work is never finished.

In the darkness, he looks for light. She holds it out, it shines bright - but it is also the same light that put a scar in his chest.

The knight has changed. Out of all the wounds and scars, a buff was activated. His role is now that which is larger and more important. He soldiered on, he knew he had to learn to love himself and make himself whole so he can be ready to fight again.

He sang to the tune of Phoenix from his favorite fiddler "Am I strong enough to be with you again? If I'm not, I'll stretch my arms to hold you."

He gained so much but still he needs her here.

Editor's note: Back in 2006, I knew I would need this song sometime in the future. Perhaps not in Ragnarok, but on a personal note. Anyway, the time for healing and leveling up has come. It starts with forgiveness and moving on. I am strong, we are strong.

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Radical Love

How it feels so good to be alive, knowing I can still feel this kind of love and maturity.

I do not care whatever happens. I am brave to face them.

I love you and I will always love you!

Thank God!

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Vindicated.

What a night of revelations and realizations, thank you Lord for the signs and reflection. Thank you for the gift of Orpheus, the gift of Facebook, the gift of memory, and the gift of innocence.

At a time when I thought I was about to lose my mind, you sent me a message that resonated with

While it is true that love cannot beat time. If there is one thing that can beat it, it's truth.

Thank you for the wisdom, enlightenment, and courage.

Trust is the only currency of love.

Took me a heavy load of confusion, begging, and self-blame that almost led to a downward spiral, but it is clear now.

I am disappointed and sad.

It's no longer as if the person I loved changed into someone else. It's as if the wolf was revealed from the sheep clothing.

I will pray for you, I will pray for us. I love you.