𝔏𝔬𝔠𝔞𝔩 𝔅𝔞𝔯𝔡

𝒲ℴ𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝓁𝒾𝓀ℯ 𝓉ℴ 𝒽ℯ𝒶𝓇 𝓂𝓎 𝓉𝓊𝓃ℯ? 𝒴ℴ𝓊 𝓂𝒶𝓎 𝓃ℯ𝓋ℯ𝓇 𝓁ℯ𝒶𝓋ℯ 𓆦 (Rp open, pleasant and polite asks/comments please, the world is cruel and cold but we can all be a little kinder.)

[xiaq]

One of the best things about being a writer is thinking of something small you can add to your work that’s just. Devastating. Like you’re sitting there going. Oh. That would be diabolical. People would get really riled up about that. Exquisite. Let’s do it.

[babyjanedough]

Already know I wanna send this to people on June 1

[spoopyandtired]

ITS TIME

[literalliterature]

[Video description: A short clip from the show Make Some Noise. Erika Ishii, imitating Ebenezer Scrooge, points dramatically and yells, "You, boy! What day is it?" Brennan responds, "It's pride, bitch!" End description.]

[daliah-dark-one]

Mwahahaahaha

[wildehacked]

things in fic I'm used to people kind of faking their way through writing about:

the city of los angeles

the city of new york

sex

how drinking alcohol works

how getting high works

how a child of any age speaks

how nuclear physics work

how [my job] works

how debilitating being shot in the shoulder is

how hypothermia works

things I have never before seen someone fake their way through writing about, until today:

what french toast is

[headspace-hotel]

read through the notes on this one trust me

[kiragecko]

Here's some of the notes, starting with the things multiple people brought up:

SHRIMP COCKTAIL:

banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol

generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is

#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro

And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!

POMEGRANATES:

zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple

thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute

sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.

FRUIT TREES:

zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''

salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE

baander: #cranberry trees

DOUGH/BATTER:

maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre

livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles

lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY

Some other topics:

ANIMALS:

catenarwhal: #mandatory 'how cows produce milk' mention#i'll never recover from that one I fear

piromantic: #one time i saw someone fake their way through describing how spiders behave

pluto-lichen: horses

misskittypotter: #stardew valley faking its way through what fresh fish smell like

pa-pa-plasma: #saw someone faking their way through knowing what a seal is once #i still am fucked up over that one to this day. they just straight up did not know #& they were NOT good at guessing it either like it was clear they had never googled that animal ever #& was only just now realizing via answering questions from anons that seals are not!! what they assumed. initially

SEX:

dykevandyke: #what a prostate is #and where it is located #as in. external.

dreamyeyedrose: #I remember back in the ff.net days reading an Ichigo/Renji fic where the writer assumed the penises go inside each other #and I was like “I mean I don't know how it works for sure I don't have one but idk if that's how it works”

SOME OTHER FOOD STUFF:

thetrekkiehasthephonebox: #add another one to the list bloggers#this character is cooking a salad

shosta: #still baffled about the published work that didn't know food could freeze

sun-dari: #once i read a fic where the author didn't understand cinnamon

alto-tenure: #read something recently where the author was just. blatantly wrong about spices

dramatic-dolphin: #i saw someone try to fake their way through what ramen is once. like 14 years ago.#but i remember.#i was very confused about ramen for a few months. they were writing it so authoritatively.

the-celery-stalks-at-midnight: #i will never ever forget someone putting leftover fries in the microwave to reheat them and setting the timer for five minutes

typeghost: #this sparked a memory of a hannibal fic where the author had to fake their way through writing about gravy

draculin: #the one fanfic where the author knows about coffee only as a concept wrote a character as a coffee drinker#was very interesting#I don't remember the fandom or the plot but I was mesmerized by the coffee actions and choices

11235811235811: #there's a lot of faking their way thru congee in the svsss fandom i'll also note

fishali3n: #read one where the person clearly didnt know what tofu is

emmy-everafter: #in the aftermath of shadow and bone s2 i saw a lot of people pretending to know what stroopwafels are #babes they are more like cookies than breakfast waffles #like yes there is a waffle pattern but you're not gonna cut into a stack of them with syrup and sugar#🤣🤣🤣

NON-FOOD STUFF:

red-umbrella-811: Shoutout to Dame Agatha Christie for faking her way through what a wrench is in a very popular published work.

bluebeetle: #once saw someone have a character put an entire phone book in their pocket

nonametis: #- sex talk in languages other than english #<- or just the petnames in a different language other than English

sadisticpony: #the fanfiction i saw this week where op DIDNT KNOW HOW AUTOMATIC DOORS WORKED #and that they arent in peoples homes!!! of course. also opening the automatic door for someone is unironically very funny but its not #its not like. grabbing the door handle to let someone in. helpppp

danmeichael: #reminds me of the fic with the figure drawing class where the character started with the feet. #i love you feet first figure drawing author

meowmix1100blr: #me watching this one fic absolutely obliterate what the board of directors does

vexedhexes: #one time i read an architect character making a doorway bigger by building a bigger door #what a beautiful world. #OH. also gravity falls fic where they go 'oh piedmont is in california so its warm all year round'

leveragehunters: #characters going to a beer garden #And it's literally a garden outside the pub#It was a very cute mistake

fitofpique: #yes! #grown men do not get blind drunk off two beers #but i am possibly guilty of the hypothermia one #assuming it does not make you very horny?

dadvans-likes: #always thinking abt the soup kitchen fic #the entire setting of the fic was 'soup kitchen' #and i very quickly realized #the author did not know what a soup kitchen was #and they thought that soup kitchens only served soup #fic

msmargaretmurry: #i love fanfiction #once read a fic where the characters played 20 questions #but the author seemed to not know how to play 20 questions and was just kind of winging it........ #immaculate

shakespeareaddict: #Look I know not all of us are hockey experts #But it takes about ten seconds of research or any attention paid to the show to realize #That the Stanley cup playoffs are not in fucking September

baejax-the-great: #the funniest one i saw #was someone faking what church is like #like 1. they really didn't have to write an entire church experience for their fic #and 2. they had clearly never even watched a show where people went to church #it was bonkers weird

twosunson: #things ive seen authors faking #knowing how to unclog a drain #knowing. literally any history #knowing what ketamine looks like (apparently- oregano) #(you know who you are)

waterhorseyblues-ao3: #beltane being celebrated in winter #wales being portrayed as a completely separated land from england (i wish) #characters getting up after weeks of bedrest like that dosnt completely fuck you up

violetfairydust: #i once read a fic where the flight time from london to seattle was 3 hours

purekesseltrash: One time, in a fic set specifically in Des Moines, IA, two of the characters casually drove 20 minutes to the ocean. The memory continues to delight me. I want to know where that author thought that Iowa was.

[daliah-dark-one]

Will always love people faking their way through medical scenes (you don’t shock for a flat line ffs)

[tentacion3099]

[angelofdykeness]

I FOUND IT THANK GOD this video is so important

[blue-eyes-white-cheddar]

This is real and here is the patent. Nonconsensual data collection is detailed in column #4 on page 17.

[paper-mario-wiki]

i fucking LOVE this dude (FLESH SIMULATOR is the name of his accounts). all of his videos are full of information and tips like this, and he always has loud industrial tone music mixed poorly over him speaking to make it impossible to create a clean AI copy of his voice.

[karinyosa]

just found out that there is a sudanfunds website! like gazafunds, it is a compilation of funds for people facing genocide

edit: i've added the correct link to this version of the post. if at all possible, please try to reblog this version or direct back to it. for some reason, the original sudanfunds link i put is now defunct. the correct site is still called sudanfunds and is now back up, and that's what is now on this version of the post. hope this makes sense

[burningbea]

Ok I am again making up trans Sam headcanons but I keep finding things that kinda make sense for it (maybe I'm reaching but I don't care)

Watched Secrets again and Sam's dad is obviously kinda cold with her the whole time, he's going through a lot with his cancer diagnosis and all but still, shitty! But after he's blended with Selmak he's pretty immediately a lot kinder to her and I think if Sam IS trans and that's part of why her dad isn't great to her, a Goa'uld view on gender would really help him understand Sam being trans a bit more. The symbiote now living in Jacob's head spent the last 200 years blended with a woman, and he shares those memories. It might help him understand a lot of things?

Also the huge pressure Jacob puts on Sam to be exactly who he wants her to be, especially the "you've wanted to be an astronaut since you were a kid!" actually really fits this idea, he's looking for some kind of grounding that she's still his kid which is something a lot of parents of trans people do when they don't understand it all, trying to keep some kind of control.

Anyway I really like the scenes with Sam and her dad in The Tok'ra Part 2, you can see how weirded out she is by Jacob's personality immediately being a little different after the blending (amazing acting work from Carmen Argenziano btw) but he's immediately just a little bit warmer towards her and it feels like she's actually his daughter. It's not immediately, it does take a few more appearances, and that's good! You really get a feel for them slowly patching up their relationship over time.

And yeah I think it all fits really well with my own headcanon of Sam being a trans woman so I'm taking it!

[daliah-dark-one]

Fully love and support this. I’ll be so honest tho when I started reading I had to very quickly figure out which Sam from which fandom was being talked about bc so many can be read as trans. And good for them tbh.

[achillesinhighheels]

Training my nervous system to choose an unfamiliar heaven instead of a familiar hell

[daliah-dark-one]

Holy fuck dude

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Everybody STOP having a crisis, it’s now tea time

☕️☕️☕️🫖🍵🍵🍪

Pause all dread an catastrophe to have a cuppa and some cookies for the next 15-30 minutes

This is a wizard spell

[textpostscymraeg]

Pawb STOPIWCH fod mewn argyfwng, mae'n amser te rŵan

☕️☕️☕️🫖🍵🍵🍪

Rhowch saib ar bob ofn a thrychineb er mwyn cael paned a bisgedi am y 15-30 munud nesaf

Mae hwn yn swyn dewin

[luceirosdegolados]

Rapazada PARADE de ter unha crise, agora é a hora do té.

☕☕☕🫖🫖🍵🍵🍪

Toda catástrofe e anguria queda en pausa pra nós tomar unhas taciñas e unhas bolechas os próximos 15-30 minutos.

Isto é un feitizo.

[simuran]

Всем ВЫЙТИ из кризиса, настало время чая

☕️☕️☕️🫖🍵🍵🍪

Поставьте всю жуть и катастрофы на паузу, чтобы выпить чашечку и поесть печенья в следующие 15-30 минут

Это волшебное заклятье

[nerdwithaknife]

An alle: STOPP mit den Krisen, es ist Zeit für Tee

☕️☕️☕️🫖🍵🍵🍪

Pausiert die Verzweiflung und Katastrophen und macht euch 'nen Tee und esst 'n paar Kekse für so 15-30 Minuten.

Dies ist ein Zauberspruch.

[kd-heart]

Lume GATA cu criza, e timpul pentru ceai

☕️☕️☕️🫖🍵🍵🍪

Puneți pauză la groză și prăpăd, ca să beți o cană de ceai și să mâncați niște fursecuri pentru următoarele 15-30 de minute.

Ăsta e un farmec

[kristalliankka]

Kaikki LOPETTAKAA kriiseily, nyt on teeaika

☕️☕️☕️🫖🍵🍵🍪

Kaikki kauhu ja katastrofipelko tauolle, ja seuraavat 15-30 minuuttia nautitaan kupposesta kuumaa ja syödään pari keksiä.

Tämä on velholoitsu.

[translating-posts-into-estonian]

Kõik LÕPETAGE kriisis olemine, nüüd on teeaeg

☕️☕️☕️🫖🍵🍵🍪

Pange kõik õud ja katastroof pausile ning nautige tassikest teed ning küpsiseid järgmised 15-30 minutit

See on nõialoits

[callipigio]

FERMI tutti dall'avere una crisi, é l'ora del té.

☕️☕️☕️🫖🍵🍵🍪

Premete pausa su paura e catastrofe e fatevi una tazza di té con dei biscotti per i prossimi 15-39 minuti

Questo é un incantesimo

[therainatdawn]

REBLOG IF YOU'RE AN SFTH FAN!

We all keep joking the tumblr fandom would fit on a bus

would it tho???

i wanna keep headcount of all the pigeons!

Please reblog from only ONE of your blogs!

Let's GO!

[daliah-dark-one]

*pigeon noises*

[timeandspacelord]

Jacky: "Nothing else matters now, because I am dying"

Me, reading this for the fourth time, also experiencing The Horrors: "girl, me too"

[daliah-dark-one]

Love Jacky for that one honestly

[daliah-dark-one]

“Switchblade switchblade boogedy boo!!” I fear I have found a new vocal stim

[daliah-dark-one]

Hit the point in fandom where I have to just sigh and check the tags when I see a post about “Jon” or “Johnathan” or a story featuring an eye themed god. Do I get a prize?

[threefates]

the study set from the haunted mansion

[daliah-dark-one]

God I want this house..

[yeehawpim]

I can be the ship and its sailors

[yeehawpim]

($4cad) 3x3" Sticker in my shop! :)

[cilceon]

Only thing from the Met Gala that matters btw

[enasfamily]

Save my orphan children

I am Inas, a mother of two young children: Muhammad, 7 years old, and Hala, 5 years old. They should have been living their childhood like all children—safe and warm in the embrace of their father. But the war has stolen that dream from us😭😭😭

Six months ago, my husband Anas, a kind-hearted man who endured a life of poverty, was killed by a random shell while on his way to work as a taxi driver. Since that tragic day, I’ve been left to carry the unbearable weight of life alone.

I held a diploma in international secretarial studies and was about to start a job to help support my family. But the war shattered not only our home but also my hopes and dreams. We’ve been displaced six times and now live in a tent that offers no shelter from the bitter cold or the ever-looming fear.

My young children face relentless hunger that weakens their fragile bodies and a cold that knows no mercy for their small hearts. Each day, their cries for warmth and food grow louder, and each day, I feel more helpless to provide them with even the basics of life💔😭😭

I appeal to your humanity, to your compassion. We need your help to survive, to find a safe shelter, and to feed my children. Your generosity could be the reason Muhammad and Hala continue to live and find hope amidst this darkness🥹

Please, help me keep the light of these innocent children from being extinguished by this cruel world

Donation Link

Donate to Help Enas and her children in Gaza, organized by Gabriel G

My name is Gabe. I am from Portland, OR and I am raising funds on behalf of Enas Shukry I… Gabriel G needs your support for Help Enas and he

[tpwrtrmnky]

It's really quite bizarre how much work in trans healthcare bases itself on the idea that a patient who deliberately seeks out the Penis Removal Doctor and says "Yes, Penis Removal Doctor, I am certain that I would like to have my penis removed" might be lying to the Penis Removal Doctor, so that they can have their penis removed without actually wanting that.

What's even more bizarre is that the most common "solution" to this is a months-to-years long hazing ritual that has nothing to do with ensuring the patient knows what they're doing, and if you complain about how ridiculously abnormal this is for any kind of healthcare you summon a legion of "um actually" types who insist you're fighting against basic pre-surgical consultations.