if the sun refused to shine, i would still be loving you

when mountains crumble to the sea there will still be you & me

[cmhqstart]

Damien McWilliams (Oliver Jackson Cohen), 38, cis-male, he/him, bisexual, owner of the scarlet letter

Keep reading

[damemcwilliams]

xmichaelzanex​:

✿

michael couldn’t even look at damien without feeling horrible and, at the same time, he also couldn’t look away. it was his choice to leave, but it felt like the only thing to do at the time. it wasn’t an elaborate plan or a feeling that had been building up over time, it was a panicked rash decision that his cloudy judgment convinced michael of making. he packed his bags in a rush, well aware that whatever he forgot, he couldn’t come back to retrieve, he left a note, and vanished. he knew damien could find him if he really wanted to—he had the resources. and he was definitely hoping that he would. in hindsight, he shouldn’t have written the note on a napkin that the maid could toss, or that any draft could send flying behind a counter never to be seen again. michael didn’t know damien had never read it, but it wasn’t like that piece of paper would’ve provided the older man with too many answers, anyway.

sorry for leaving like this,  but i can’t do goodbyes with you yours forever, michael xx

“i can drive if i bandage it. it won’t hold up and i do need stitches but it’ll do til i get to the hospital. or to work.” just because the very sight of damien had sent him into a frenzy, caused him a medical emergency, and was currently making him so nauseous he felt like he was about to throw up in damien’s italian leather shoes didn’t mean he couldn’t take care of himself. he always had, after all, except for that brief period of time he’d let damien do it for him. “i’ll have you know my boss is a very good vet. 2017 vet of the year award, in fact.” he pauses. he doesn’t know what he’s gonna do yet, but he’ll think better when damien’s gone… maybe. so he starts walking to his car, hoping that’ll push the older man away. “well, it was nice to see you!” he calls out before he fumbles with his keys. god, his left hand is so fucking useless, he’s come to learn.

★

“yeah, and what’re you gonna bandage it with? a dirty napkin you got tucked away? your shirt? not exactly the safest or the cleanest. and as someone who works in the medical profession, you should know that.” damien said in a matter of fact tone of voice. ever since he’d gotten to know michael, the older man had wanted to take care of him, save him even when michael didn’t want saving. “oh wow, only 2017? it’s 2021 now, michael.” he said and sighed softly. then michael decided that he didn’t want to be here anymore and damien rolled his eyes as the man walked away and called out the way he did. damien was about to go inside until he saw the way that the man was struggling with his keys to even get his car open. so of course, he walked over, grabbed the keys from the man and says, “let me take you before you end up killing yourself or someone else.”

[damemcwilliams]

xmichaelzanex​:

♡

honestly, michael always knew the rules to the game he was playing with damien. he understood them, he accepted them. in practice, however, things were a lot different than they were on paper. michael was soft and affectionate, damien was a dreamboat who cared for him, and went above and beyond for him. he couldn’t help his feelings, they just blossomed over time. as he leans against the wall, trying to collect his thoughts, himself, and what little was left of his dignity, he’s surprised that damien followed him outside. michael just stared at their feet as the other spoke. his voice was smooth, and although he was speaking calmly, michael could feel the sternness, the intent behind his tone. it meant do as i say. they were both familiar with it, specially given how much michael enjoyed being a nuisance and pushing the older man’s buttons. and earning himself punishments—the fun kind. “i know,” he said softly, still looking at the ground. he didn’t want to look at him, but at the same time, he was dying to. so he did.

looking at him brought a lot back for him. it was almost overwhelming to get all the flashbacks of them together at once. he’d missed him, truly. if he’d had a choice, he wouldn’t have left. he looked at his hand, assessing his wound for the first time. he hadn’t even had time to feel it, and it hadn’t hurt until he took a peek. “i’m not gonna let it get infected, i just need to get to work and then i can clean it up,” he said. “it’s not a long drive, i’ll be fine.” he knew he shouldn’t, and more than likely, couldn’t drive with his hand like this. he needed stitches, so the injury wouldn’t stop bleeding until he had it treated. 

★

damien knew that the two of them weren’t destined to last forever; damien had far too many things going on in his life, he had far too many extra boys that he rang up when he was out of the country, and he knew michael wasn’t the biggest fan of it. but the two of them made an agreement, this was simply business. there were no feelings to be made, there was no falling in love and living that fairytale dream that so many people died to have. but the older man couldn’t lie to himself - or anyone really - that it hurt him when michael just up and ghosted him. without a word, without a single call or text to let damien know he was alright. damien wasn’t sure if michael was dead or alive, but he supposed the man wasn’t his problem anymore. but his curiosity still struck here and there. if he was okay, if he was alive. he wondered if he was alive what he was up to, if he ever fell through with his school career and started working with animals like he had wanted to and studied for for years. 

“yeah? and how’re you gonna drive with a bloody hand? you gotta keep pressure on it and you can’t do that if you got one hand on the wheel and one in your lap, i’m just sayin’.” damien said and shrugged his shoulders some. “you need to be taken to emergency care, let them get it handled and stitched up right. i’m assuming work is at a vet’s office, and you need a doctor that patches up humans, not pooches.”

[damemcwilliams]

MICHAEL↵

michael was probably keeping all restaurants in the area in business all by himself. he was a big fan of takeout, usually ordering copious amounts so that he could have the leftovers for breakfast. however, when he had nothing in the fridge that he could pop in the microwave for one minute, you’d catch him at 9 to 5, bright and early in the morning so he could eat before starting his shift. he’s enjoying his meat lover’s omelette and his coffee, and all of the sudden he hears a familiar voice. at first, he’s sure he’s imagined it, because it can’t be, but he can’t resist making sure. he turns his head slowly, and out of the corner of his eye… there he is.

he shuts his eyes. he tries to wake up. he’s certain it’s a bad dream, because he can’t possibly be seeing what he thinks he’s seeing. yet, when he opens his eyes again, he’s still sitting in front of his plate, and he’s still hearing that voice. he’s not sure what he’s feeling, but one way to describe it is panic. he gets up, somehow managing to knock a glass of juice off the next table, and cutting his hand on it. the waitress gasps and tries to aid michael, but he just makes his way out through the back door that leads to the parking lot. he leans against the table and tries to breathe, wiping his hand on his scrubs. fuck. he needs to stop shaking so he can drive to work.

★

damien had given up looking for michael the moment the man decided that he didn’t want anything else to do with him. damien had always put it out there that this was just an agreement, there was no falling in love, living all happily ever after like they did in pretty woman. and he thought michael didn’t have a problem with it, which is why when they were out sometimes damien would flirt with other men and get a sense of how they were because after all, spoiling guys and girls seemed to be his passion in life. so the last place that damien ever expected michael to be in was in maine, especially out in these parts. but as he heard the scene unfolding and saw the guy rushing out he spotted who it was and his heart nearly sank to his feet. “excuse me.” he said, pardoning himself from his table as he made his way outside. as he walked outside and spotted the man, damien said, “it’s gonna get gross and infected if you don’t properly take care of that cut.” in his soft yet firm tone that he just seemed to wear so well. this was the first time he’d seen michael in a year or more, and all of those memories of the two of them were flooding his mind as he looked at him. 

[damemcwilliams]

OPEN ↳ 9 to 5 diner @cmhqstart

damien had been in town for a little over a month now, though most of his time he had been unseen because he’d been buried in renovations for the scarlet letter. he’d bought this bar from the previous owner and decided to make it into a decent club for a small town like this, something classy but laid back and had a ‘kick your feet up’ vibe to it. and with renovations came new staff, new rules, etc. the list was never ending. it didn’t take long for damien to make some new acquaintances in his short time here, he was a social man and he liked getting to know people. so he’d invited them to lunch and decided that he was going to get some honest feedback. “okay, so all bias opinions of how amazing my club is.” the irishman started off with a cheeky grin on his face. “how would you say the scarlet letter is doing now? i want your full honesty, be as brutal or as nice as you wanna be.” 

[damemcwilliams]

10, 11, 21

10. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?

i once had sex on a plane in the bathroom. not weird, but certainly one of the most uncomfortable spots to fuck.

11. If you had to chose one, would you have outdoor sex or car sex?

outdoor sex, i got more room to move around.

21. Do you like rough sex or intimate sex better?

rougher definitely. intimate isn’t bad, but, rough is what gets me off.

[bunnysbigcookie]

100 NSFW TMI Questions you probably have never been asked:

[xmichaelzanex]

1. Are you a virgin?

2. Does anyone besides you know your bra/penis size?

3. Do you know anyone who has any STDs?

4. Were you married when you first lost your virginity?

5. Do you swear under celibacy?

6. When did you first lose your virginity? If you haven't, when would you like to?

7. Have you ever gotten tricked into aphrodisiacs or alcohol for sex?

8. Have you walked in on someone masturbating/having sex?

9. Have you ever seen someone masturbate or have sex with their permission?

10. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?

11. If you had to chose one, would you have outdoor sex or car sex?

12. When was the age you first masturbated? Whether you knew it or not?

13. Have you ever helped someone "finish"?

14. Have you ever had an erection in the past month? (clitorial counts, too)

15. When was the last time you have had an erection? (clitorial counts, too)

16. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?

17. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)

18. What is your bra/penis size?

19. Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself or a family member?

20. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?

21. Do you like rough sex or intimate sex better?

22. When was the last time you masturbated?

23. When was the last time you had sex?

24. When was the last time you watched porn?

25. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?

26. Guys: Circumsized?

27. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?

28. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?

29. Girls: Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?

30. What color/type of underwear are you wearing?

31. Have you ever sent someone a picture or video of you in the nude? Did it include sexual actions?

32. Have you ever posted a picture of image of you in the nude on a website? Did it include sexual actions?

33. Have you ever anonymously sent/posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude? Did it include sexual actions?

34. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?

35. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?

36. Which wet dream was your favorite?

37. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?

38. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?

39. Have you ever masturbated with someone?

40. Have you ever took a shower with someone that is not a family member?

41. Favorite sexual position? If you are a virgin, which position interests you?

42. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

43. Are you into any BDSM?

44. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?

45. Turn on's?

46. Turn off's?

47. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone? Was it about anyone other than your lover?

48. Have you ever had phone sex? Video sex? Chat box sex?

49. What was the weirdest thing that has ever turned you on?

50. Do you like dirty talk?

51. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?

52. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?

53. Most embarressing sex/masturbation story?

54. Most hilarious sex/masturbation story?

55. What kind of porn do you like to watch?

56. First type of porn you have ever watched? (ie. lesbian, hentai, threesome)

57. What was the most recent type of porn you have ever watched? What category was it under?

58. Most hilarious/stupidest porn you have ever watched?

59. Have you ever fantasized over someone older than you? How much older? Younger? How much younger?

60. Favorite sex toy (if any)?

61. Have you ever had to break up with/divorce someone because you weren't satisfied with their sex?

62. Have you ever used anything/gotten any surgeries to improve sexual performance/feel?

63. If someone you knew asked for a nude image, would you do it? What about a tumblr follower?

64. Have you ever told someone any wet dreams/fantasies you've had about them?

65. Do you like to have sex like they do in pornos?

66. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?

67. Are you able to be secretive when you masturbate? (like able to be quiet so no one can hear?)

68. When was the first time you achieved orgasm?

69. Is there only one way so far that you have been able to achieve orgasm? (ie. only by using toys, only from 1 positon,only from masturbating a certain way)

70. Favorite type of oral?

71. Strangest sexual positon you've tried?

72. Have you ever made up a sexual postion?

73. Girls: During sex, vaginal or anal?

74. Girls: During masturbation, clitorial, vaginal, or anal?

75. Do you like to be dominant or submissive?

76. Have you ever masturbated to someone?

77. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn't there when you needed them?

78. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?

79. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

80. Have you ever had sex with someone who wasnt your partner?

81. Has any of your partners had sex with someone else?

82. Have you ever gotten pregnant? Were they your lover's or someone else's?

83. Birth control or condoms?

84. Do you ever masturbate to porn?

85. Does anyone know you masturbate? Did you have to tell them?

86. Did your parents ever find out you were sexually active?

87. Do you have any STDs?

88. Have you ever masturbated to a fictonal character or celebrity?

89. Have you ever had sex during "7 minutes in heaven"?

90. Spit or swallow? Or do you not like oral?

91. Have you ever been rejected for sex? Have you ever rejected someone else?

92. Do you have someone who said they are willing to take away your virginity if you havent lost it by a set age or if you just want to have a good time?

93. Have you ever experiented with the opposite sex?

94. When you first lost your virginity, was it intended or spontanious?

95. Has anyone ever walked in when you were taking a shower with someone?

96. Did you ever tell someone once you lost your virginity?

97. Does your lover know if you have masturbated?

98. Does your lover know that you want to have sex with them but cant?

99. Do you like masturbation?

100. (Asker's ask) If i were to ask you if we could have sex, would you say yes?