Sideblog created with the purpose of sharing memes and write fan fictions concerning Obi-Wan, Anakin and sometimes Ahsoka. I live for the trio. But there might be other stuff too…
Sweetheart 🥺 I hope you come back soon with more cute fics. I will be waiting 🥰🩷✨️ just please don't forget it it's very good . I have always loved everything you write .
Hey my darling! Unfortunately I’ve been struggling with creativity—but once muse comes back, I’ll sure write more fluffy stories. Thank you for your support, it means more than you can imagine. Apologizes for being slow in answering you—too much work going on right now.
Here you are again. You have all that you want: a good job, good paycheck, but not a domestic stability. Your family, in spite of you being an adult woman capable of looking after yourself, keeps meddling in your life and always says things aimed to hurt you.
Who cares whether you are peaceful, gentle, good hearted? Who would remember the sacrifices done throughout these years to them? Should it really surprise anyone at all that you are trying to be unreachable?
You’ve had a huge fight with your grandparents. They are difficult to handle most of times, they don’t make your life easy… even if they don’t live with you anymore, but this weekend you paid them a visit and they hurt you badly.
Still under the effect of these old wounds, you opt to isolate yourself at home. It’s when Hayden comes at you. Your long time celebrity friend has been wondering why you haven’t been picking up his calls, wondering about your whereabouts.
On this Saturday, though, you are going to get a pleasantly surprise. Hayden decides to come to your apartment and check on you himself.
“Frankly, my dear Y/N, I do give a damn.”
Such are his thoughts when rewinding at the back of his mind the gleeful way you often lead your life, or how you helped him throughout his divorce, often there for him when you needed.
As Hayden prepares to drive all the way to meet you, he recollects the times you made him laugh when he was heartbroken due to a misunderstanding that led his ex wife ask for divorce; or even before, when you cheered him up after the critics he got in “Revenge of the Sith”.
Your closest friend also remembers when you encouraged him to take back the role of Anakin Skywalked/Darth Vader, ever the enthusiast about “Star Wars.”
(“Seriously, H. No one does the Darth Vader thing better than you”, you told him then.
“I do not feel so inclined… I mean, don’t take me wrong but…”
“I will not, I will take you by Force.”)
A joke that brought him to laughters then….and makes him smile now. But for a while he could tell you’ve not been the same. There was sadness in your eyes, exhaustion showing in how you sighed… your smile faltered often, and he could tell you haven’t been yourself lately. Whenever he tried to inquire, you shooed him away.
Once this upset him, now he knows he should have never given you up—because you never quit him.
Now here he is, anxious to check on you. He doesn’t care whether you are sick or not, he’s going to be with you, to spend weekend with you.
Hayden Christensen is going to look after you… because he also comes to realize he came to love you.
***
Unbeknownst about it, you follow your routine. You have just taken a shower, so your hair is wet and you are dressing a black “Darth Vader” blouse and jeans shorts. You are about to have ice cream for lunch when the doorbell rings.
“Who the hell is here?”, you ask yourself out loud, not in the mood for interaction.
But every moaning dies when opening the door and seeing Hayden Christensen with a grave look on his face.
“Hayden!”, you exclaim, rather shocked for his unexpected visit. “What are you doing here?”
“We haven’t talked during these past four days. It is very atypical of you to go off like this”, says he, engulfing you in an embrace that makes you mewl deep inside. “I missed you, Y/Nickname.”
This isn’t how you expect to be greeted by a friend. When his strong arms engulf your petite frame in a warm embrace, your heart races and your mind goes blank. When breathing in his scent, your body chemistry is affected—an unfamiliar warmth clings onto your feminine parts in a way that has never affected you before. At least not where your friendship has been concerned.
Which makes you realize that there’s always been that question which you promptly avoided to ask: is friendship enough for you?
Sweeping away such thoughts, you rather focus in the delight his presence gives you.
“Well?”, says he, impatiently so when both of you reluctantly part of the other. “What’s your excuse?”
“I wasn’t being myself lately”, you admit, aware how pointless it would be to lie to him, not after his surprising visit. “I was just…”
You sigh before updating him about the recent events. You detest how family businesses affect you, and so suddenly you find yourself sitting in the couch with him by your side as you burst into tears.
This time roles are reversed and Hayden consoles you, not only patting your shoulders, but actually listening to what you have to say. And then he plays with your hair, delicately so, before making you look at him.
He can tell you are a mess, but this fragility you often kept to yourself. Thus it is meaningful how open you are to him, like he has been to yourself.
Indeed, what you two have is rare.
“You don’t have to shy away from me”, he helps wiping away your tears. “Come on, you have no right, not when you saw me at my worst.”
You have no right to protest it, your conscience already admonishes you for any attempt in doing it. So you nod your head and lean it against his shoulder, melting in his strong arms.
“I apologize for being proud”, you sigh heavily, feeling like he’s your home and he is, you know it. “I did not wish to trouble you.”
Hayden scoffs at your lame excuse and you chuckle at the sound of it. He’s not ready to admit it yet but when he lowers his gaze to meet yours, his heart stops lightly.
Oh.
“For the love of God, woman, when have you ever troubled me?! If you have, I would’ve told you somehow.” Pleased to make you smile, he adds: “I am staying this weekend.”
“Hayden!”, you blush, the first evidence of something that gives him hopes that perhaps his fondness is not entirely one side.
“What? You looked after me, now I should return the favour”, says he as a matter of factly. “I am not taking any no as answers.”
You don’t protest, specially because it does feel good to be finally looked after at least once. You are the one who tends others and always try to be strong.
As you nod, you delegate Hayden the control that used to be yours.
“What happened?”, he inquires as you two sit in the couch.
As he plays with your hair and you get comfortable with his presence in more than friendly acceptable ways, you tell him about your recent emotional distress.
He listens.
Attentively so.
And then… he lifts your chin, seeing sadness in these pretty y/c eyes of yours. His long fingers hold you still and you are paralyzed, mesmerized by how he denudes your soul.
Never before you felt so exposed.
Never before you felt… seen.
Understood.
“I need to apologize”, says he, breaking the spell, though he doesn’t let go of you for a moment.
“What for?”, so you question him, confused. “You’ve never done any wrongs to me, Hayden.”
“I’m afraid I have”, Hayden sighs before parting the gaze just to dive again in you. “I took more than enough time to realize I love you. I think I was afraid to admit it concerning all I’ve been through, as had you, but I cannot look away.”
You are shocked by his words and, as a result, your mind goes blank. Hayden waits as you process it, partly fearful for being misled into think you feel the same.
His heart starts to race faster when you lean into him with a sweet smile on your lips.
“You are my sunshine and you make me happy when skies are grey”, you translate your thoughts in such a famous lyric before holding him near and kissing him gently.
Every doubt dies at this very moment, when peace moves away the last reminiscences of a long lasting storm.
So there you two remain, locking lips, locking hands with interwoven hearts.
Isn't it awful when you have an idea and it doesn't come out the way you wanted? But you still do it anyway because you must finish what you started? 😪😮💨
Imagine this is a modern world where you are a teacher trying to get some peace of spirit after a very long year, so you rent this house whose locations places you next to no other than…Anakin Skywalker. Part I.
Warnings: fluffy; drama, long post.
Recommendations: “Champagne Problems” by Taylor Swift.
***
“I think you should rest, my dear”, so advises you the recently incorporated to the docent body Obi-Wan Kenobi, a retired academic teacher whose past—if rumours ought to be taken with careful consideration—is linked with the rise of the Sith Mafia that rules the country nowadays. He’s been your advisor ever since he was admitted at school due to common tastes, which got you very good friends. “You’ve been working too hard.”
It’s one of these days where there is no one at school—every student is gone to enjoy the winter break—but you must be there because the principal said so. Few meetings already occurred, so you honestly don’t get why you and your fellow teachers are not released off your duties.
“I cannot, and you know why.”
“You can, missy. Don’t be so headstrong. I can talk to the principal and the secretary”, says Obi-Wan. “You are exhausted. You barely have any shine behind these y/c eyes of yours.”
It does occur you that you haven’t been out with your friends since final exams started. You sigh, ceding to his insistence.
“You know me too damn well”, you grumble with a smile painting your lips.
He smiles back at you.
“I’ve been there, done that too. Hence why I’m here after all.”
You feel tempted to ask that question and perhaps Obi-Wan waits for it, but you swallow your curiosity, dismissing it as being a business not yours to mind.
“I appreciate it, Ben. But where might I go? I have no idea where else I could rest.”
You watch as Obi-Wan strokes his ginger beard, thoughtful.
“Have you considered renting a lake house?”
***
Anakin tastes the bittersweet flavor of silver bubbles of his glass, dissociating again as another feast is offered by President Palpatine. Men dressed in their fancy robes surround the older man in search for further favours all the whilst many women tried to attract the attention of his closest—and certainly younger—advisors, Anakin included.
He refuses any attention, finding champagne a more suitable company for his unresolved issue concerning his broken heart.
Jokes here and there roll from men’s lips, flirtation coloring the illusion scene he’s now in. Music is too melancholic to dissipate the attempts of the group of the mafia to amuse themselves.
Another champagne glass is offered. Anakin promptly takes.
“Lord Vader”, Lord Maul comes at him. “Are you not finding this feast of your liking?”
“I would rather be somewhere else where I am not considered fucked in the head for people who do so constantly”, so is his bitter, nearly rude but crude response.
Maul smiles awkwardly.
“I suppose even you deserve a rest, my friend. We’ve worked too hard. If you feel like resting, I shall cover your shift. Pretty sure he won’t find out”, the Sith Lord says in reference to Palpatine.
Anakin knows alcohol is taking the reins of his reasonable and, using his ex’s own words, ambitious self, therefore he shrugs his shoulders and says:
“Yeah, I might do that. Thanks, my dude.”
Again, Maul smirks uncomfortably. Grabbing another champagne, Anakin leaves discreetly, rewinding in his mind the moment he would propose Padmé.
They were both aligned in thoughts and expectations, but the night he booked a train to meet Palpatine, a choice, albeit unconscious, was made. And when they were meant to dance in celebration for his promotion, she dropped his hand and left him in silence threat.
Another sip.
But memories came. When Anakin met Padmé’s family and shared their plans. But there was a skeptical reaction, and his speech died before reaching his bride.
One more sip.
The flavor would not dismiss from his mind her words, calling him names that, funny now, he could not remember.
And suddenly in the car, Anakin yells. The driver doesn’t look nor checks at him, aware he has his moments when drinking.
Of course, he left her standing. He dropped her hand one last time, taking with him his mother’s ring.
And now he drowns in endless champagne glasses, not willing to admit the path he took was one no sensible individual would take.
***
The region suggested by Obi-Wan is one very quiet with few houses. The lake is clean, with no wild animals to scare you. Luckily for you, unwilling to interact with neighbors, it appears most of the lake house’s owners are absent: winter is hardly the season for the usual gathering in such places.
As someone who is very fond of nature and the silence that comes with it, you instantly smile and promptly write a message to Obi-Wan.
“It’s perfect. Thanks- Y/Nickname.”
You cross a small entrance that leads the way to the house. Atypically, it’s made of glass—which might mislead to an idea of exposure, but you know this is easily fixed by the use of courtins—and has two floors. It’s simple and practical, and the view to the lake is just… perfect.
You are quickly getting your stuff inside when you hear a male voice nearby:
“Do you need any assistance there?”
The voice comes to your ears in a crawling, husky whisper that makes a shiver running over your spine. As you turn with a heavy box in your hands, you spot a handsome stranger standing not too far from you, respecting the limits that divide your house from his.
He is taller than you and his eyes are painted with such charming blue irises that you are speechless for a moment. You promptly clear your throat, hoping the man doesn’t notice his presence impacted you, but judging by his smirk it appears he did notice.
“I’m all right, thank you”, you think prudent to dismiss his good will in helping you, after all you two are strangers.
Anakin sees the distrust in your body language. After the whole thing with Padmé, he’d normally stay away and never again you’d see him, but these are other circumstances. He certainly is sober anyway and is eager to be around a new face after all those years with the same old ones.
Not to mention he thinks you are too beautiful to waste an opportunity in having a glimpse of your pretty features.
“I insist”, he says gently. “I’m Anakin, by the way. Anakin Skywalker.”
Somehow his name rings a bell, but you don’t know where. You carefully stand a hand for him to take and shake.
“Anakin, nice to meet you. I’m Y/N Y/LN.”
“Nice to meet you too, Y/N. What brings you here?”, he asks as he helps you with two heavy boxes that you brought to the house. “And my God, what did you put here?”
You chuckle, appreciating his help.
“Thanks, Anakin. I needed some time to rest, honestly. I came from Y/C. And these are only the things I judged necessary to bring here. I intend to spend just two weeks.”
“Hmm. Big city, of course I’ve heard about it.” He tilts his head, scanning your moves as if he’s studying you. “Running away from something, eh?”
Anakin chuckles in turn and you join him.
“Oh if you call enjoying a break running away, then it’s only momentarily, I’m afraid.”
Leaning against the wall that stands as a division between kitchen and living room, Anakin watches as you simply sit down.
“What do you work with, if I may ask?”
He observes as you make a bun with your messy y/c locks. By how you smile shyly he can tell how introverted you are.
A curious contrast to Padmé, he cannot help the comparison.
“I am a teacher. But enough about me”, you stand and head to the kitchen, aware his eyes follow you. “What about you, Anakin? What do you do for living? Do you live here, by the way? Or…”
And here, when you turn your gaze to meet his, the next words rolling out of your tongue would impact greatly in the next greetings between you two.
“…are you a fugitive like me?”
***
Each night, this stranger named Anakin Skywalker comes by. You and him share experiences and memories, all followed by a beer. A bond is starting to form, but you are somewhat bothered by this mystery aura that surrounds him.
“I sense your hunter’s eyes judging me”, Anakin smirks to himself.
You and him are sitting together before the firepit, chairs close, short distance from one to the other. His eyes are closed and yet he is very observing. You chuckle, relieved at last that he is not seeing you blushing.
“Not judging.”
“What then?”
You don’t know what to respond, so silence is your best defense. Anakin opens his eyes and stares at you, noticing you are hugging your knees, the very embodiment of innocence he’d not seen in years.
He senses what’s behind your thoughts. However, he opts to make it about you instead.
“Have you ever had your heart broken?”
You side eyes at him, with an expression he cannot read well, though there is something attractive in how the shadows of the flames dance in your face.
“I have”, you admit. “Not beautiful like the songs want to portray in melodramatic lyrics.”
“It is painful”, Anakin agrees. “Yet have you considered we may the reason why our hearts are broken in the first place?”
You ponder what he wants to mean but, not reaching to anything satisfactory, you shake your head. Not noticing how your fingers are subtly intertwined with his, your eyes are now glued in Anakin’s.
“We project what could have been in the objects of our affections. There’s so much expectation that leads us into this madhouse where we want to feel every inch of it. But shadows are, like certain philosopher pointed out, our worst doom.”
“That is deep”, you muse with no thinking. “What happened?”
“We were not ready to move forward, I suppose”, and just like that he drops your hand, much to your silent consternation.
You don’t say anything. Anakin waits for a response, but when looking again at you he knows what to read in your serene semblance. Two weeks and a little more, and an attachment has flown.
Fear leads to suffering. And hasn’t he been plagued by his own champagne problems? Yet, where has his champagne gone for the last couple of days?
“I don’t like your silence”, says Anakin, sounding more anxious than he cares to admit. “Have I disappointed you, Y/N?”
“I was merely wondering”, you flee from the question posed, “how hard can be picking up the pieces left by somebody else. But one must be ready to glue each by each.”
“You are the poet now”, he side smirks. “You sound convicted.”
“And you lack convictions, it appears”, the words come in a burst.
“Perhaps you are not entirely wrong.”
Something about his words annoy you. Quietly as usual, you make your leave and even before the fire, Anakin is left to the cold.
***
He knows where to find you. In mute steps, Anakin crosses the divisores from your house to his. You are sitting with your feet on the cold water with a cup of coffee in your hand and well dressed up.
Anakin hesitates at first. Never comfortable with crowds or awkward silences, never too friendly with his own pain, he finds in you something better that his wrecked conscience is unworthy for.
Every speech dies unspoken when you seem to stand.
I cannot let you go.
He knows you are about to return to your daily life. Your routine awaits.
“Y/N”, Anakin comes to you at long last.
You are startled by his presence, clearly not expecting his arrival.
“Ani”, you stand.
As the wind howls around you two, your remaining coffee instantly gets cold. But the warmth between you two only grows.
“I was a coward. I forgot my convictions for a moment, a wrong I intend to amend. Fear leads to anger and anger leads to suffering. We both, I dare say, have been in pain.”
He takes a moment to breathe. Your lips are already curling upon a gentle smile when he presses over them one finger.
“And before I amend, I must say I haven’t been entirely honest with you. My sweet Y/N, you don’t know my whole story. I am known as the Sith Lord, Darth Vader.”
Imagine Obi-Wan Kenobi’s complex journey…to the dark side.
Warnings: drama, angst, violence, inappropriate/adult language—explicit smut and fluff as usual.
Warnings 2: *long* post.
Recommendations: “Lavender Haze” by Taylor Swift; “Yellow Flicker Beat” by Lorde.
No minors.
***
Preface
“When there is too much light”, you tell him, “one might lose the sight for it.”
“But when there is too much dark”, so the red haired male muses, “the fate seems to be all the same”.
You tilt your head.
“The whole point is that every excess leads to suffering. Those who claim to possess the true core of goodness are blinded by their vanity, although those who are plunged by darkness is similarly lost.”
“Then what should I do?”, you detect a hint of misery in his voice.
“I am not the wisest of beings, Obi”, you smile candidly. “You’re not on your own. You should not pick up the broken petals and try to glue them to what they used to form. No. The damage is done, but it can be mended and transformed in something better.”
There is so much to be said, but, to your disappointment, words die in his thoughts. His eyes divert away and the magic is gone.
“Obi?”, now he detects despair in your voice.
The Jedi looks back at you. His blue eyes little by little lose the spark that once colored such tempest irises.
An eclipse rises.
“I must depart”, it’s all he mutters. “Unfortunately I cannot stay, Senator Y/N.”
You don’t have to say goodbye. Obi-Wan is gone with the wind.
***
• Part I: The Creed.
“You look too sad, Master”, Anakin tells him concerned. “This sadness of yours has remained there in your eyes longer than I’d thought it would take. I must say I am concerned.”
“This is exhaustion to you, Anakin”, Obi-Wan remarks. “I’ve been working per usual, that is all.”
“You have been burying yourself in work since that incident with the Duchess has…”
“It was not an incident!”, Obi-Wan snaps at Anakin, who stares at his Master in bewilderment. He sighs before softening: “I just…appreciate your concern over me, Anakin. It’s going to be fine. But there are moments when I wonder where this will end. Frankly, it frustrates me that two years later Maul isn’t entirely wiped out of the galaxy.”
“He’s not like any other we faced, Master. That creature is a Sith Lord, therefore we ought to be very careful when dealing with the man”, Anakin smiles quietly, eyes filled with comprehension. “But be mindful that grief should not overcome you, after all…”
“Fear leads to anger that leads to hate that leads to suffering”, so Obi-Wan completes. “I shall not forget that. It pleases me to see you learned that well, Anakin. I forget at times how good you can actually be.”
Anakin rolls his eyes, about to say something in return when the thread is interrupted by Master Windu, who requests Obi-Wan’s presence for a mission to planet Y/C.
“It’s farther than we had formerly judged”, the said Master tells Obi-Wan. “But we understand this is an important mission in order to prevent this region to fall to the Separatists. Apparently Count Dooku has sent a spy to convert Lady Y/N to his side. You must not fail, Obi-Wan.”
“I’m sure everything will be conducted most appropriately”, assures the other male.
By then the two part in friendly terms. But Anakin, the witness of the moment, is suddenly plagued with a strange feeling. However, he has not time to uncover it or even share with his Master, for Obi-Wan doesn’t want to waste anymore of his time in Coruscant, a planet he’s grown to dislike.
***
When he meets you after a long time spent journeying to your planet, Obi-Wan is dressing somber shades of red, opting for a dark cape that falls over his shoulders. But the growing shadow within is momentarily eclipsed by your glowing beauty.
Your long and wavy y/c hair is tied in a single braid; your face is painted in delicate colors that seem to bring your beauty in a most natural way; your light red gown reinforces your curves and after two years, Obi-Wan finds himself desiring a woman again.
His eyes linger at the swell of your breasts and for one moment, his mind takes him to a dark spot, where he allows to imagine taking each breast with his tongue—hungry for affection, wishing to be provided with what he hopes to find a sweet lullaby coming out of your lips, singing out his name—; but the moment you clear your throat, he sweeps away such pictured scene, burying it deep—mostly because he doesn’t want to have a boner right now.
“Master Kenobi”, you greet him with a sweet voice, eyeing him with a mix of curiosity and awe. He knows by the careful glance you give him that you find him handsome. Apparently, the attraction is mutual. “Thank you for getting to us. Welcome to our planet. I pray the journey has not been too hard on you.”
As you lead him to a seat next to the window, from where he can see the landscape outside, Obi-Wan smiles at you when answering:
“It has not, thank you for asking, my lady. I do hope, though, that your ladyship may forgive me for the delay in our mission. I had other matters to attend.”
“There is nothing to be forgiven for, Master Kenobi”, you smile again and Obi-Wan hates how the light that comes from you makes him feel like a teenager in his hormone days. “Before we begin to discuss our points, allow me to serve you some tea. Do tell your favourite.”
This is how it begins.
*
Lord forbid, but as each day goes by, you find yourself desiring to hear more of the serious and meticulous Master Jedi. His redhair and his blue eyes are difficult not to draw your eyes, but his muscles—perfectly well hidden under such robes—leave so much to your imagination.
Often seen by others as cold, unreachable woman, always avoiding relationships of any nature, it seems this man has managed to make you go to your knees—though you’d gladly turn this metaphor into literal.
You’ve heard the other day a lady in waiting describing to another exactly how she went to her knees to please her husband—a way the said lady in question found out from a maid of her trust—and how deliciously it was to feel his manhood pumping into her mouth. As you enter into the salon, your eyes scam after him, with that scene in the back of your mind.
What would be like to please him? To make this sacred Jedi feel profane, mundane things? It’s when your own conscience admonishes for such thinking. You are a governor, a member of the Senate who vowed never to marry or get yourself involved romantically—specially after one particular man, Senator H/N, broke your heart.
“Ah, Master Kenobi! There you are!”, you greet him with glee. “I must admit I am worried about how the Senate will respond to our request. I do wish to remain neutral in this war.”
Obi-Wan comes to perceive that he’s been growing intolerant to his impatience with this unending war. Or perhaps he’s mistaking it with frustration? The man cannot tell and he has no intention in letting obvious his discontent.
“I wouldn’t worry about it, Senator Y/LN”, and so suddenly your desire for peace reminds him of…
“Are you well, Master Kenobi?” You ask him gently, concerned about the shadows that so suddenly take grip of his reasoning. “Come, let us go outside. A stroll around the gardens might suit you.”
“No, I appreciate your concern, but…”
You surprise him by being an effective adversary.
“I don’t take no as answer, good man. I know distress when I see one.”
“And here I thought I was hiding well”, Obi-Wan muses sarcastically.
“Oh, didn’t you?”
How you snap back at him earns the Jedi some smile. And you are pleased your effort is finally coming to something.
*
“Is it weird to live by peace in a world plunged by extremisms?” You think out loud as you two share a stroll in a quiet, content pace around many green walls.
Obi-Wan, who’s been studying you more often than he’d sensibly admit, side eyes you and discreetly responds:
“I don’t think so. When disease begins to make sense, reason starts to find illogical healthy musings. We’ve been too sick to realize that peace could’ve been reached by a simple dialogue with some compromising”.
“Why do we expect better attitudes from others when we ourselves lack them?”, you sigh. “I suppose it’s because our enemies reflect our darkest fears.”
Obi-Wan’s eyebrows furrow at the thought. Seeing a good point you make, he finds himself uncomfortable for the first time in a long time.
We make demands of others. We fight for others. We expect better of others when we are not better than them.
Has the good cause been corrupted? Suddenly, Obi-Wan’s conviction starts to be shaken by his own beliefs.
“I’m sorry. I was meant to bring you some solace, not providing you this uneasiness”, you apologize by reading the Jedi’s awkward steps.
When finding your y/c eyes, Obi-Wan’s first instinct is to flee. You too get this sensation and perhaps you let it show more than you’d know. But he resists it.
You are not Satine. I cannot expect you to be like her. But you bring me to a different light… and I fear where this path will lead me.
“Don’t apologize”, though his arms remain folded, his features are now softened. “I’ve been under stress for two years in a roll. You deserve better, my lady, and I haven’t been a most proper guess, have I?”
You chuckle softly and the sound that comes with it makes any burden his heart’s been carrying loose…
“I understand more than you know, Master Kenobi. I fear to say I tend to overthink about what surrounds me”, you smile at him, your eyes not ready to let go of the gaze that captured them. “It’s a hopeless world we live in and yet I think it’s my duty to bring some joy to it.”
“And how’d you do that?”, he inquires, too intrigued by your web not to play with it.
“By living to a personal creed”, you give the Jedi a mysterious smile. “Live righteously through every beating of your heart. Do so by providing others some cheerfulness.”
That being said, you actually succeed to distract the very grave Jedi close to a fountain and with one small push, get him into it.
Soon, the silence is broken by a sound of cheerful laughters and for the very first time Obi-Wan joins them, not burdened, but free of it.
***
Part II: Duty Is The Death of Love.
Obi-Wan is requested to go back to Coruscant once the situation in your planet is partially resolved. But there is reluctance on his part going and you fear for his departure too.
By then, an unspoken attachment had developed between you two—but neither felt the urge to make it obvious, in other words: to make the first step.
“You are too quiet, dear Y/N”, Obi-Wan remarks, his eyes never letting go of your sight for a moment.
This evening you are having dinner. A private one, very personal and intimate in many shades—but the Jedi realizes you’ve been far from his grasp. It so appears to him that your brightness has been stolen away.
“Am I?”, you raise your eyes to meet those sparkling blue ones that have been searching for yours. You blush lightly as a result. “I’ve always been quiet, Obi.”
“This is hardly the truth”, he smiles. “You’ve been always the one to speak, my dear. Please, tell me what’s been troubling you.”
Your pride advises you not to tell him how you feel. Obi-Wan sees through you the struggle, but these are trying days. What’s there to lose if you speak your mind?
“I will miss you”, it’s all you can say.
He reaches for your hand, gently lacing fingers. Never before duty felt so strained, so… suffocating.
“I’m not really leaving. You know that.”
You don’t realize a puddle of tears is forming in your eyes before you say:
“You’ve always shone brighter than anyone I’ve known. I shall not eclipse that.”
Obi-Wan quickly leaves his seat to console you. On his knees before you, he takes each hand and presses there a kiss.
“Dear love”, he rushes to say. “You are a poetry to my soul. I’ve been numbed for a long time and thought myself dead inside until you brought me back to life. How can you say I shine bright when you are the sun who feeds me light to do so? No. I’m nothing if not a moon in need of your light.”
When did the desperation rise so eminently? You don’t know, neither does he. But all so suddenly, your lips are collided against his and Obi-Wan is rising you from your seat to pull yourself into him.
Your hands are now playing with his hair all the whilst his own are gripping tight your waist. His kisses are urgent and fervent, warming you in every possible way.
His lips are now going to your neck and you throw your head back, feeling exposed under his gaze. Indeed, had you had the ability to read mind, you’d find nothing but indecent thoughts there.
Hungry for your affection, his lust draws unspeakable ideas to you. His lips enjoy your soft skin and his eager hands are already unlacing your gown. On your turn, the tingles that his beard make on you are enough to make you sigh.
You promptly rest your hands over his shoulders in an attempt to find balance. As you do, you pursuit his lips once more as your hands begin to work in his fabric.
“Obi..”, you heavily sigh as you now kiss his jawline and move to his neck, gently biting his skin.
“Yes, dear Y/Nickname?”, he groans lightly as you have control over him.
You don’t know what you are doing, but you do. Moved by a strange house instinct, your hands toss his fabric away, going down to his manhood, all the whilst you pepper his neck and shoulders with a loving kiss.
“You are mine”, you whisper against his skin, as your delicate fingers find what they are looking for. “Aren’t you?”
You raise your eyes and Obi-Wan finds mischief in them, much to his arousal, specially when you start holding his manhood very gently.
“I am, yes”, he sighs heavily. “Maker knows I belong with you entirely, dear one.”
His words are like charm, evoking your sudden confidence. Suddenly, you flip positions, starting to get the best of him. Your eyes are glued on his heavy breathing and when he thinks he’s about to come undone…
You take him all.
Using your red lips.
*
But he is not a man to be easily subdued—he is the one who subdues, and here you are submitted at his will.
Obi-Wan knows you well and he enjoys driving you crazy by doing all he wants to do with you slowly.
“Beg, dear one”, he smirks at you, his fingers gently stroking your feminine core, not yet slipping them inside you. “This is what you want to do…”
You hiss under your breath, eyes already painted with desperation. But your pride is simply useless before the strength, the physique, the beauty and perfection that stand right before you.
“Please”, you whimper, much to his delight.
And he does so. His lips looking for yours, he takes no more of your time before pleasing you the way you deserve.
“I love you”, you sing your feelings out, followed by another whimper.
“I love you too”, he kisses you hungrily, enjoying the effect he has on you.
There is nothing but the alluring dark to light the way, and no sense of goodbye is perceived when one body collides with the other. Never before Obi-Wan felt so alive. A sensation that he does not want to let go of.
Towards the end of the night, when you two are bathed by salt, you turn at him and say:
“You should stay.”
Obi-Wan sighs. It feels as if he’s living that night again… when it was whispered that the duty was the death of love. When looking back at your y/c eyes, the good there is in them, a voice in the back of his mind says again: must you repeat old mistakes?
Must you?
However, for now the Jedi does not wish to dwell in such thinking. Internal riots are briefly quieted. He turns at you and peppers your face with kisses before cuddling you in his arms.
“Let us enjoy the today, my dove. It’s all I ask for.”
A response that does not content you, but would have to suffice now.
*
When you wake up the next day, he is gone. The warmth in his side of bed is replaced by a cold, a void of goodness you feel so abruptly deprived of.
It hurts, it aches too much the sound of heartbreaking. You should know that what was going to happen.
But the images of both of you speaking of the past as if the future would be one with the other roll in the back of your mind. Is there anything you could do?
No.
But that day you weep as sacred moments are remembered too well by your soul, broken like a secret you kept, an oath that now sounds meaningless.
And here your pain becomes a growing angst that paints your heart blue, all alone trying to find how to deal with all the intensity that crushed you like a tide that took you far from the shore, letting you drown by a heavy wave.
A knock on the door, however, disrupts you from your thought. You barely notice the tears rolling down in your cheeks until you taste the salt these come to your mouth. And now you must regain your composure.
Oh you must.
“Duty awaits”, you think out loud before granting the permission for the door to open and soon coming inside your bedchambers.
A moment so sacred is now profaned. As it should be.
***
Part III: Midnight.
“Have you heard the tale of Darth Plagueis, the Wise?”, the chancellor asks him.
Obi-Wan is wearing his usual suits this evening for an encounter with the man behind the Senate, the one whom the Jedis asked him to spy for. Palpatine is the said man’s name and although his behavior is rather…unique for a man of his position, it comes at being too odd to spy him.
“I believe I am rather familiar with it, yes”, replies the red headed Jedi, stroking his beard, as he casts his cold blue eyes towards the other one. “Why’d you ask, Chancellor?”
Giving Obi-Wan a smirk, Palpatine carefully shrugs.
“This is a tale often misconstructed by the Jedis.” He pauses carefully, waiting for some reaction coming from Obi-Wan. Once it did not, he continues. “Duty not always must be the death of love, Obi-Wan. Once upon a time, love was the main weapon of the Jedis. Now it appears to have been poisoned by the ambitions of such an Order.”
Silence hangs in between the two men, heavy like grey clouds announcing an upcoming storm.
“What you suggest is treason”, whispers Obi-Wan, avoiding the male’s gaze. “The Jedis have been the keepers of peace in Galaxy for centuries.”
“The endings often bear good intentions”, remarks Palpatine. “How about the means, though? The means justify the endings, and you cannot look away the pride and arrogance that have flickered the Order.”
No answer. Slowly, like a snake spotting a prey, Palpatine surrounds Obi-Wan.
“My dear, your duty has been rewarded with nothing but disdain. Your name has once been shouted by your fellow Jedis, but now it’s been whispered like a poison. Is this what you’ve become, Obi-Wan? A name, a number…a mere saber?”
“I don’t need recognition”, Obi-Wan retorts, but even he can feel the emptiness of his belief.
What has changed?
“Oh, but we do. We do. What are we without the applauses of those we love? Not beasts to be served to other’s purposes”, Palpatine smiles. “You have doubled your powers, Obi-Wan. But your path of blood… when will it end? They say fear leads to anger and anger leads to suffering. But has duty emptied your sentiments? Blind devotion also leads to suffering, Obi-Wan Kenobi.”
A sweet melody is sang. To see it’s effect, however, Palpatine slowly removes himself from the scene. The prey is at long last trapped by the snake’s trap.
Obi-Wan knows it. He feels it. The tentacles of darkness tempt him, seducing him like the sweet embrace of a lover.
Indeed, the list of dissatisfaction is too long to ignore. The anguish within never ceases to torment him. The temptation is too great to bear.
Nonetheless, it’s close to midnight when the Jedi leaves everything aside to look for you. Perhaps you have every answer for him; perhaps you might be the savior he needs.
*
You are located at your lavender garden, even though it’s past midnight. Chaos surrounds you, war destroys everything you know. You grew strangely comforted by it. You learned to play coy, to be the player you planet needed. Neutrality was merely a disguise. But politics was never a clean game in the first place.
Two nights ago, you’d met him. You thought you’d lost him again, but the silent steps caught you out of your guard.
“I knew I’d find you here, Y/Nickname”, his husky voice brings out a smile of your lips. “A lavender field is most proper to your ladyship.”
You raise your eyes, not surprised for seeing Obi-Wan Kenobi dressing a dark robe, a somber shade of red in his suit, standing powerful before you.
“I do not wish to forget the lavender haze creeping upon me.” You tilt your head, pleased to find a secret smirk twisting in the corner of his lips. “What are you here for, my dear? End this the way it should be.”
“It pains me to hear this is your conclusion”, he muses somberly.
You promptly stand and move to where he stands. Very gently, you remove his hood and run your hands over his short red locks, before cupping his face and tiptoeing to rest your forehead against his.
“I wouldn’t take you as a man who understands everything literally”, you make a small jest, pleased to make him chuckle.
“Darkness is so much more alluring than I’d ever consider it to be”, he whispers. “I’ve tripled my powers since I left you. I shall not lose you, my dear Y/N. The Jedis and the Sith…both took everything I’ve loved.”
He sobs and seems to fall on his knees, but you hold him, able to prevent him to lose his strength. But because he’s heavier than you’d able to carry him, you manage to lead him back to your lavender garden.
“This doesn’t have to be the way”, you tell him. “There is more in the world than Jedis and Siths, Obi.”
As he glances to you, you spot a swift change in the color of his irises, spot an unending suffering in the dark waters of his soul.
“I hate them”, he whispers, and the sound is like that of a whip. “I hate them all.”
“Let us run away then”, you speak gently, caressing his hair. “Those who step in our way shall be destroyed. Simply as that.”
Obi-Wan chews your solution for a moment. It’s reasonable and makes sense. When admiring your beauty and the gentleness that comes from your good heart, he takes your suggestion.
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