NEW TERMS FOR BI WOMEN AND WOMAN-ALIGNED NBS
A bi woman (or nb who aligns as a nblw) who subverts societal expectations of womanhood for herself, women, men, or others.
This is not to be confused with a “feminine bi woman.”
What this means is a bi woman (or nblw) who subverts the expectations of femininty, by performing their version femininty for themself, women, and others.
Loving women as a woman or nblw is an inherently radical experience. It can be scary and alienating.
Damme is meant to provide community and support to likeminded bisexuals, who defy heteronormative expectations and live their femininity outside of what straight cis men want. This can extend to feminine presentation, and often times presentation is important in expression and flagging yourself as a damme, but it is not a necessary component. This is about you, who you are and who you want to be. It’s about living outside of the cage of straight cis womanhood.
A bi woman (or nb who aligns with being a wlw) who rejects societal expectations of womanhood for herself, women, men, or others.
This is not to be confused with a “Masculine bi woman.”
What this means is a bi woman (or nblw) who completely rejects the societal expectations of femininity and womanhood. This could be through masculinity, androgyny, neither, or anything in between.
Defying the expectation for femininty in women is hard and scary. Tomme is supposed to provide a sense of community and support for gnc bi women or nblw of all kinds, from every society and ethnicy and background. Gnc bi women are the most vulnerable members of the bi community and absolutely need terminology to reflect their experiences.
These terms are TRANS AND NB INCLUSIVE. TERFS FUCK OFF
These terms are not descriptions of appearance, and are not a spectrum. You’re either a damme or a tomme, not both. Not a “dammish tomme” or a “tommish damme.”
That said it’s totally okay to not fall under these terms at all, or to use different terms. But these terms are meant to be respectful, comfortable, and inclusive of all bi women/nbs regardless of race, gender, ethnicity, etc.
These terms can be used regardless of the gender of your partner!
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