Shut Up And Live It

Stop being lame. Start being me.My thoughts. My interests. My recipes. My life.

[danalove14]

What's Your Type?

Anyone on the dating scene or who has a single friend has heard this question any number of times. It puts you on the spot, "Quick, describe your soulmate in 10 words or less!" Or likely a more common assertion, "Who do you want to go home with tonight?"

What do you do? How do you answer?

I'm sure the response largely depends on what stage of life you're in and what status you're looking to achieve. I personally have not contended with this question for eight years, but it got me thinking.

This topic recently brought my husband and I to a discussion of recognizing physically appealing traits versus feeling genuine attraction to someone. Can purely physical attributes generate full blown attraction?

I can only answer this for myself, and I’ll be 100% honest. If placed in front of a line up of men and asked to select the most physically appealing specimen, there are certainly specific traits I’ll look for. Tall guys, 6 feet at least, draw my eye as does a bronzed skin tone. I like some level of facial hair (that 5 o'clock shadow can be to die for) but no lumberjack beard please. A good smirk wins points as well as big eyes in a slightly muddled color. A muscular back and chest would be another wonderful benefit. Having given these guidelines it would seem that just about anyone could pick “my type” out of a crowd.

However, that isn’t my type. Take the same lineup and ask me to pick out the most attractive man to me and there’s a good chance the answer will be entirely different. I like witty and smart ass comments. Fluent sarcasm is a must. Any man I’d consider worth my time would have a healthy respect for women. I am your equal and you damn sure better know it, I’ll give you that respect in return. Someone who's up on the issues of the day, has grounded opinions, and likes a healthy debate will hold my attention. Compassion for the less fortunate and a willingness to help your fellow man catches more than just my eye. I want someone with goals and dreams and the tenacity to chase them. I seek out balanced and grounded personalities that believe in the inherent goodness of people because "I have plenty of fire myself" (yay Hunger Games reference!) and sometimes my cynicism gets the best of me.

I know it sounds like a fluffy answer, a cop out by a happily married woman. I assure you, it's not.

Before my husband and I were dating, we both worked in a retail department store. We worked in similar areas and had a lot of cross over functions. Plus, we were both going to school and his best friend happened to be going to RPI with me. I found him funny, quick with a come back, and completely willing to make a fool of himself for a smile. He was smart too. He could turn any issue on its head and defend either side pointedly without giving away how he truly felt until asked. He was polite and cautiously adventurous. I had come to hang out with him and his roommates on several occasions. I thought he made for a great friend, a good listener, and an all around nice guy.

If you're thinking, "she hasn't mentioned anything about being attracted to him," you're right. He met some of those physical type questions, he has gorgeous eyes, a golden skin tone, and a fun smirk. But that didn't change anything for me.

I remember the turning point so clearly, it felt like a physical shift within me. One day at work there was a special needs man who required assistance in the electronics department. Every available employee was pointedly avoiding him or putting him off. There were a few off color comments going around and it seemed no one would help this man. I was tied up in the photo lab and couldn't break free to give the full attention this particular customer would need. Then Will came around the corner. He approached the man as he approached everyone. He smiled, asked how can I help you, and he soothed the somewhat frayed temper of the ignored customer in minutes. He spoke to him kindly but in tones that enforced they were equals. He took time to answer questions and repeat or rephrase anything that didn't quite stick. He was genuine and caring, and when the transaction was over he went on about his day as if had done nothing out of the ordinary. And he hadn't.

That moment is when I became interested in being more than my husband's friend. I crossed into the stomach fluttering heart racing realms of "like-like" on that day.

Years later, when I told Will about how much that exchange changed for me, his initial response was, "so you weren't attracted to me?"

I wanted to slap him. I might have, but I also explained myself. I've never been that girl with celebrity crushes that goes starry eyed when a name is dropped. Physical traits have always been secondary to me. Even when I did formulate a celebrity crush (so I had a response to the question rather than having to explain my entire personality) I based my selection on skill and accolades with eye-catchiness following. Honestly, it's much easier for me to assign a literary character crush than a movie star. So yes, I was attracted to him. His persona won me over.

Before you ask, I also find my husband physically appealing, see my previous notes on my initial evaluation. Unfortunately, Will is not 6 feet tall. Somehow I'll get over it. Maybe they'll invent a height serum in 5 years. I'm not worried.

(Above: my handsome husband and his beautiful, newly married, sister!)

My point is that different things attract different people. A question like "what's your type?" posed to someone like me would be difficult to answer and likely useless to the asker. For me, there is no possible way for attraction without attachment and demonstration of character. No physical feature can overwhelm that need.

That may not be true for others, and I don't mean to discount those people. Whatever makes you tick and gets your blood going is great. Perhaps the point I'm trying to make is that you should ask yourself what your type is and answer honestly before heading out into the world and searching for Mr. or Miss Right.

Then again, I could also be driving home a point on a debate I had with my husband in the car. That's fair too.

[danalove14]

Enchiladas de Pollo Picantes

Need a meal idea for tonight?  Look no further!  Get your noms on with these quick, easy, and delicious enchiladas.  Recipe by yours truly.  

[danalove14]

Too Capable

"I think I can. I think I can. I think I can." Who hasn't heard about the little engine that could? It's a great parable about helping others and believing in yourself, two of the most important and satisfying things in life. The best part? The more skills you gain, the more people you can help and the greater the impact you can have on the world. Your footprint, your legacy, depends entirely on you.

I've been blessed with so many opportunities to learn and grow over these past months, and, while sometimes overwhelming, it's been such a huge bright spot of the last year.  I love helping.  It's even better if I'm able to pass along knowledge to allow people to help themselves next time. I'm the consummate volunteer, the person who raises their hand when others hesitate. If the phone rings at 4:59PM I'll answer.  You need it, I'll do my damnedest to get it.  It's who I am, an inherent part of my nature, and thanks to a manager that's exceptionally willing to share knowledge and teach, I've become far more capable as of late.  So much so that a few weeks ago my boss said the following to me: "You're too capable." 

Um.  What? 

How in the world can someone be too capable?  What does that even mean?  What kind of employer would criticize an excess of ability? 

I must have made a very obvious face, because I was immediately laughed at.  Slightly stung, I asked how being "too capable" could possibly be a bad thing.

"People ask you for things now."

I couldn't help but see this as a good thing.  It meant I was doing a decent job, people were starting recognize that I have a valuable and growing skill set, and they were starting to trust me in my new role.  I want that.  I've been working my butt off to achieve it.  I like fixing things and building sustainable systems.  I said as much. 

My boss simply returned that I can't fix everything. 

I'm a touch hard headed.  And frankly, that sounded like a challenge.  With enough time and effort I generally believe that anything can be accomplished.  Jokingly, I said that I could fix the world. 

(Above: The chorus to Rihana & Nicki Minaj’s “Fly”, basically my new job’s theme song.)

The thing is, my boss knows me well enough that he picked up on the fact that I wasn't entirely joking.  And he called me on it.

Presently, I can't walk from one building to another at work without someone stopping me.  Sometimes its for a quick hello, most times it's to ask a question or request assistance.  I leave for meetings 10 minutes before I need to because I've recognized this pattern.  I haven't clocked out on time in weeks because, despite my best efforts of turning off my computer and hitting the pavement right on the dot, there's some universal alarm that alerts people to when I'm on the move.  The number of daily radio calls and interruptions to my work day has increased steadily to a point where I'm often in the middle of 3 things and responding to 2 more simultaneously.  I've managed it so far, and most times there's even a smile on my face. 

My boss's concern is the constant distraction.  And now that people know I get things done, it will only get worse. 

Currently, my primary responsibility is to build a planning position into a department that is far too reactive.  Productivity in maintenance organizations drastically improves with formal planning versus reactionary responses, to the tune of nearly 40%.  And I'm doing it.  I'm reading handbooks, browsing trainings, and getting out into the field.  I'm reviewing inventory plans and system changes.  I'm providing support and feedback while gathering information on how best to implement this kind of shift.  It's going to be a long process, but pieces of it are already falling into place.  When I can't forward along this process for one reason or another (a contact is unavailable, I've gone as far as I can without approval or assistance) I shift to another project to remain productive.

What I’ve come to take away from his comment isn’t that he doubts my abilities, or doesn’t appreciate them, it’s that he’s worried I’ll burn out by taking on too much.  That is a legitimate concern.  We’ve been through 2 maintenance engineers in 4 years for almost exactly that reason.  Of course I say I’ll be different, that I can handle it, to please trust me to know my limitations.  But saying yes and spreading myself thin was an admitted weakness of mine.  It’s also a confessed fault of my manager, which is probably why he tries to send me home early from time to time, even when the work is piled high (he’s actually gotten me to leave 15 minutes early once, so I think I’m winning this battle).

In the end though, even on days when I’m swamped, don’t get a lunch, and am on the clock for 12 hours, I’m so glad I took this position.  I’d rather be called a thousand times, while working on a thousand things, and growing in a thousand ways than be stagnant.  I’ll try every day to make the system better so others don’t burn out, so they enjoy and appreciate their workplace more than they did before.   And maybe, eventually, I’ll go home on time.

[teded]

5 fun facts about your body

Starting at the top.

1. You’re already using 100% of your brain. The idea that humans only use 10% of their brain capacity is a myth made popular by hucksters and movies.

From the TED-Ed Lesson What percentage of your brain do you use?

2. You cry three types of tears: basal, reflex and emotional tears. As far as scientists can tell, humans are the only species that cry for emotional reasons.

From the TED-Ed Lesson Why do we cry? The three types of tears.

3. When you overeat sugary foods, you crave more of them. That’s because an overload of sugar spikes dopamine levels and leaves you wanting more.

From the TED-Ed Lesson How sugar affects the brain.

4. Whether you’re left-handed or right-handed, you were born that way. Today, about one-tenth of the world’s population is left-handed.

From the TED-Ed Lesson Why are some people left-handed?

5. Sitting for a long time is bad for your health. That’s because the human body is built for movement. Take a deep breath, stand up and stretch!

From the TED-Ed Lesson Why sitting is bad for you.

[danalove14]

Have You Ever Failed?

"Have you ever failed?" 

This question threw me off during my recent promotional interview. After a few seconds I responded, "I don't fail, when I put my mind to something I find a way to make it work." 

 The interviewer just stared at me. I could see in his eyes that he thought I was being pompous and braggy, not at all what I intended. I proceeded to say, "that's not to say I don't make mistakes, I do. But I recognize them and try to rectify them in a timely fashion to minimize their impact." 

Again, I knew this wasn't exactly what he was looking for. However, if I'm one thing it's honest. The truth is, in my professional career by my definition, I have not failed. 

I mentioned this interaction to a coworker at lunch who then said she would be hard pressed to hire someone who responded as I had. She said she'd worry about their ability to handle roadblocks and if they would crack under new pressure. That was difficult to hear, doubly so because I excel in high pressure situations. However, there was no other way I could respond when asked. Should I have lied? 

Before everyone in the world starts going off about how self righteous and egotistical I am, perhaps I should explain my view on failure. I hate the word. One definition of "to fail" is defined as "to be unsuccessful." I've never engaged in anything wholly unsuccessful. Sure, I've run experiments that have come out with shitty results or that did not perform as expected, but they have always provided some information even if it was minimal and not what I originally intended. I have been given tasks which were unable to be completed by circumstance or lack of resource, but I don't consider these failures either. In such events I often discern underlying problems and begin the process of addressing them myself or involve the people who can resolve the issues. I have gotten into arguments, had my ideas overlooked, and been a leader on a project run astray. Still these were opportunities for insight, perseverance, and growth. I don't see them as failures, and frankly I don't know why I should. 

For every lab test gone wrong there's hours at my bench getting it right. For every disagreement of ideas there's thorough review and contemplation, a deeper absorption of others view points. For every project run amuck there are late nights in the office creating new plans and notes for next time. While these examples might not be the brightest beacons of accomplishment, they were not wholly unsuccessful as their byproducts were useful in some way. 

To call such things failures seems unproductive from where I'm standing. It sounds like beating yourself up for no good reason. It sounds like discounting the work put in. Why should I do that to myself? 

You shouldn't discredit yourself, there are enough people out there who will do it for you. As long as you keep an open mind and can take healthy criticism, you're doing just fine. If you learn from your mistakes, you're doing exactly what any good boss or company wants you to do. 

So maybe my answer wasn't what an interviewer would want to hear. I won't be changing it any time soon. Perhaps I'll better support my view or elaborate on my position, but until such time as the glass is empty, I'd rather keep it at twice the size it needs to be. 

Oh, and by the way: you can give an answer the interviewer doesn't expect and still get the job. I have never interviewed for a position and not gotten an offer. This time was no different. I accepted and officially began my new duties on July 20th!

[danalove14]

Fast Food at $15 An Hour

“The wage board said the increase in the minimum wage to $15 should come by 2018 in New York City and by 2021 in the rest of the state.”

That’s right, $15 an hour for fast food workers in New York is on its way. I’ve seen a lot of reactions to this on social media ranging from joy to horror. Honestly, I’m experiencing a mix of both as well.

This wage hike could potentially represent a raise of $6.25 an hour for your hometown burger flipper, that’s a $13,000 per year raise for a person working a standard full time 40 hours per week. That’s nothing to sneeze at. Hell I just got a promotion and my raise just hits that mark.

And therein lies a bit of my problem. I’m not sure the skills required to be a fast food worker, especially an inexperienced one, are worth $15 an hour. Full time that’s $31,200 per year. No, you’re not going to get rich off of that income. It’s not exorbitant. However I offer this: the youth librarian (masters degree required) in the library I used to work for started salaried at $29,000 per year full time. Teachers often start their careers right around $40,000. Again, masters degrees are required, teachers take work home, and they do menial things like teach our children how to read. Pharmacy technicians, daycare workers, and home health aides all make an average of $12 or less per hour and provide services many could not live without, and their positions require specific training and certifications. A wage hike for fast food workers seems like a slap in the face to other occupations.

On the flip side, $15 sounds like a real living wage, and I do support that. Minimum wage growth has been abysmal. It has not kept up with cost of living increases or inflation. Big companies make it worse by not offering raises that keep up to the costs of the times along with reducing or outright eliminating anything akin to merit raises. Right now if you start at minimum wage ($8.75 in NY) and earn an average 3% wage increase every year it would take 19 years to climb to $15 per hour. That is absolutely despicable.

What’s more in all of this is that these companies are not going to pay out that kind of money to their current staff. Self service kiosks are going to start popping up. There are also several chain restaurants around the country that already utilize call centers to take drive through orders, allowing for less people behind the counter that likely won’t be getting that $15 per hour as they’re not technically fast food workers. Additionally, headcount is going to shrink as an excuse for this wage. I don’t agree with this nor do I want to see it happen as it’s just another way for massive companies to spend less and ask fewer employees to do more. If half of the staff of your local fast food restaurant is laid off and kiosks are put in, the company could even save money in the long run ($8.75 x2=17.50, one worker at $15 is a savings of $2.50 per hour or $5,200 annually per person cut).

My position can be summarized as follows: the statewide minimum wage is not what it needs to be and companies that take advantage of their employees suck. I also don’t endorse the idea of assigning a mandatory wage threshold to a single job genre. It’s going to create a mess and I think there are going to be avenues of legal recourse that can undo or seriously delay the wage hike. What this says to me is that government officials know that a minimum wage increase should be happening but they don’t really feel like doing it so they’ve given out this divisive token gesture instead of fighting for a living wage universally. Be thy for the people, right?

[danalove14]

Healthy Habits Update-July

January: Workout 3x per week. This one combined with my June goal of 50 miles in one month. I did it! More on that in a moment. February: 2 blogs per week 1 a week was the reality. And I think I'm fine with that. Summers are always busy and work starts to pile up at the office for me. If I keep to 1 a week for the next few months, so be it. March: 64 oz water per day I downed a lot of water and coffee this past month. If coffee counts, I absolutely cleared this one no questions asked. Also, I'm basically a puddle of tired. April: Compliment a Day Being nice to people? Yes, I did that for the most part. Don't get me wrong, sarcasm roamed wild and free in June, but I think it was clear when I was being serious. I encouraged friends in their goals, made nice with coworkers, and did not give into the temptation to strangle those around me. Omission of strangulation is a compliment in and of itself. May: 50 Push-ups per week One day I'll get around to completing this one. It wasn't done in June. For the entire month I probably got in 50 push-ups. I'd feel more guilty about it, but I did something pretty awesome this month... June: 50 Miles 1 Month OWNED! I did it. It went right to the last day, but I got all 50 miles in. These miles were the last straw for my sneakers, so I need to pick up replacements before I resume my trekking. I'm really proud of this one. About 38 miles were accomplished outdoors and the other 12 were completed on an elliptical. Considering it rained 19/30 days in June and my son isn't a huge fan of getting soaked on a run with me, I think that's quite the accomplishment. I honestly did not think I'd see this one completed by the end of the month. I thought I'd be babbling some excuse about not having enough time or how my legs hurt. Nope! It's in the books! July: Month of the Break Seriously, I've been going a mile a minute for the last few months. With these goals, my book club, a 10 month old, work being crazy, summer trips in full swing, I need a time out. I need a break from external obligations. No, I'm not going to stop doing everything, but I'm not going to worry about meeting quotas this month. What happens will happen purely out of enjoyment. Last month was wonderful, and the blood, sweat, and tears I put in are paying off. It's time to take a moment, sit back, and absorb.

[danalove14]

2 Sentence Book Reviews

Reading is a wonderful escape and honestly if I could read all day every day with breaks for the bathroom and maybe making an excel sheet or two, I would. So, I thought I'd share a few brief reviews of my recreational reading so far this year. 

A Christmas Carol: There's nothing like reading the classics and thinking of their many adaptations. Luckily there were a few idioms that have unfortunately not been transferred into film (bad lobster in a dark cellar) which freshened up what could have been a repetitive holiday tale. 

Wild: The book was a page turner, but the enthusiasm of the read is largely due to wanting the main character to suffer for being an idiot most of the time. I'd have a glass of wine with her post Pacific Crest Trail, pre-PCT not a chance. 

Allegiant: Overall the Divergent series was too young for me. The writing was decent, but the overall plot of revolution and the simplicity of war was far too unrealistic for my taste. 

Yes Please: I adore Amy Poehler and love Parks and Rec so it's difficult for me to say that Yes Please is no Bossypants. I think it's a great read for women and fans with advice that many of us need to hear, but I've heard it said better by others. 

The Ocean at the End of the Lane: Neil Gaiman knows just how to pull you in with descriptions so startlingly relatable that it feels like you're experiencing exactly what the character is going through. There were several times when I stepped away from this book that I had to shake my head a bit to reset into my own world. 

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?: I found the author of this book a bit pretentious and wordy. For someone who's supposed to be great at plot twists I had this book figured out in about 20 pages. 

Tuesdays With Morrie: Life's lessons are often times missed as we're speeding through them. A nice and short read with some great insights into self reflection and living the life you want. 

The Rosie Project: This book was fun if a bit simplistic in its happy ever after. I'm not sure it was a very good representation of someone with Asperger's as I felt several challenges faced by that community were underplayed and laughed off. 

On deck: The Casual Vacancy Black Like Me

[danalove14]

Turning Up Roses

Sometimes you just have one of those days where even when things seem to be going right, they feel wrong.  It’s even more frustrating when you know everything is fine and you just can’t shake that gnawing feeling in your brain.  

Today was one of those days for me.  All in all, there’s absolutely nothing to complain about.  I had a wonderful weekend, a productive day at work, a great 9 month check up appointment with Beny, and for now everything is turning up roses buds.  The problem is I don’t want buds.  I want full bloom.  

(The roses along the fence it my back yard)

I’m incredibly impatient when I’m waiting for something.  I try to distract myself with multitudes of tasks or projects, but it rarely works.  I engage in happy jaunts and absorbing activities, but the simple fact of that matter is once something has settled itself in as my next goal, I can’t shake it and I always feel like I should be working toward it.

Of course, that’s not always possible.  Once you’ve laid the groundwork, you’ve got to let the dust settle before you head on to the next step.  I. hate. waiting.  Waiting feels irresponsible to me.  It makes me think of everything I’ve said and done, I analyze my words and actions over and over.  I set up a million different scenarios.  I wonder annoyingly about every possible outcome until the subject is beaten to death.  Then I make an excel sheet about it and wonder some more mathematically (and I’m sure even more annoyingly).

I know better.  Fortunately, the rose bush in my front yard reminded me of that today.  

This rose bush was pretty beaten up when we bought our house in 2013.  It’s been on the property for a very long time (It’s probably older than I am).  I wish I had taken a picture that first year before pruning.  Honestly I didn’t expect much.  The previously owners had grown elderly and it was obvious that there were certain aspects of the landscaping they were simply unable to keep up with.  But it didn’t seem right not to give this old rose bush a chance.  Last spring I pruned it back so much I was certain we wouldn’t see any blossoms at all.  It had to be done, as there were so many dead and dying limbs that were too weak to sustain themselves.  Surprisingly, in early summer we were greeted one morning with dozens of buds.

This year, it went through a similarly large pruning though many of the shoots from last year had survived and were even hearty.  I was able to weave many of the reaching limbs through the trellis.  The amount of new growth was shocking.  So many bright green branches kept popping up day after day.  And just this past weekend dozens of blossoms decided to open up and brighten our days.

I constantly try to straighten the branches.  I have to stop myself from the urge to constantly trim every errant branch.  But the restraint is worth it.  The wait produces some beautiful results.  

I needed that reminder today, and I’m glad it was waiting for me 10 feet from my front door.   

[positivedoodles]

[danalove14]

For those who need to hear it.

Parent's Days are hard on many people. Some miss loved ones who are no longer with us. Others wish they could be closer and give more than a phone call. Then there's a group that can't shake the sadness that comes from not having the relationship every child covets.

Whatever the ache, try to feel the happiness too. Also-I think that's supposed to be a dragon but it definitely looks like a squirrel with wings.

[danalove14]

Billboard Grammar

No one likes that guy who takes an entire argument and only points out grammatical errors.  Don’t get me wrong, there are only so many mistakes that are reasonably tolerable in any position, but content is ultimately what counts.

That being said, I have a grammar bone to pick.  And no, it’s not some Facebook or Amazon review.  Plenty of us make mistakes ranting about an awful movie on the comment boards.  However, most people don’t have editors looking over their posts before they’re up for public consumption.  Generally, the things that end up on billboards have at least a few pairs of eyes that must give their approval.  

Yet, every time I come upon this billboard, an unreasonable anger rises up in me.  The offending content is below.  

What is it?  It’s a statement against New York governor Andrew Cuomo’s education policy by New York State Unionized Teachers (NYSUT).  It says simply “You talk about teachers.  Try listening to them.”  Great!  That looks grammatically correct, right?  Well, technically it is.  However, to try and make a more pointed statement, two words in that blurb are italicized, “about” and “listening.”

This billboard is located on a major route in New York’s capital city.  Thousands of people see this message every day.  Frankly, I think they go it wrong.  I’m not sure NYSUT is concerned with how Cuomo “abouts” and “listens”, however, their billboard would indicate that they are.  Italicizing “about” and “listening” suggests that those two words are comparative, that emphasis should be placed on their importance in the sentences.  Cuomo’s “abouting” skills may be just as lacking as his “listening” skills, however, I don’t generally go around abouting.  Much less do I listen to anyone who is abouting.  

I believe the point would be clearer if the billboard read “You talk about teachers.  Try listening to them.”  Hey!  In that version, the two italicized and comparative words make sense!  We want Cuomo to stop talking and start listening!

The reason this burns me the way it does (aside from the grammar nazi that lives inside my heart) is because these were educators, likely several of which, that saw this mocked up before it went out and gave their approval.  What does it say about the people teaching our children?  To me it says “we didn’t proof read,” “we don’t know what italics are used for,” or “word association is hard.”  I’m not okay with any of those scenarios being true for educators in the classroom.

Additionally, it also hurts their position in my eyes.  Teachers want more funding and less testing.  They don’t want their performance to be based too much on student performance.  They want more support in the classroom.  For the most part, I agree with these demands (I don’t on some testing, students need to learn how to perform on the spot at times, and teachers need to prepare students to do so).  However, when I see a grammatical error on a billboard that is supposed to criticize the governor’s response to teachers, I can’t help but think it’s no wonder he’s not listening.  It’s not right by any means, educators have a better idea about classrooms than executives and they should be heard.  But if you can’t manage to put together a billboard without mistakes, what are you doing teaching english and grammar to our youth?  It sends a terrible signal.

So there is my bone.  It has been thoroughly picked.  Do you agree?

[a-joyfuljourney]

[earthstory]

:)  Image source Link 2

[danalove14]

Discerning desserts.

[danalove14]

Healthy Habits Update-June

January- Workout 3x a Week: Accomplished.  This was really the one thing that truly stuck through May with what became an absolutely crazy (but also awesome) month.  I got in 22.6 miles in May!

February- 2 Blog Posts per Week One:  I fell off to about 1 post per week.  I’m glad it didn’t fall off completely.  Here’s hoping for a month full of more writing!  I’ve got a bunch of ideas jotted down and half finished thoughts.  Maybe I should start having full thoughts.  

March- 64oz of Water a Day:  Uhm.  Quite frankly I have no idea.  I know my coffee consumption spiked in May.  That counts for something right?  This is another one I need to get back on track.  I haven’t been at my desk nearly as often with the multitude of projects I have going on at work for the moment, so it’s been harder to monitor.  I do grab a cup of water every time I pass a water cooler and I drink only water at home, so I suppose that’s something.  

April- A Compliment a Day:  I’ve adapted this a bit to count toward my workplace as well to try and raise morale.  Some have been super appreciative of a few kind words, others were surprised and mostly brushed it off.  Workplace appreciation can sometimes be hard to come by and as such, I understand the latter reaction.  Maybe I’ll make it a little better?

May- 30 Day Push-up Challenge: HAHAHAHA.  I didn’t finish a single challenge I detailed last month.  May became the month of party planning (My husband’s 30th birthday, my sister’s graduation, Memorial Day) and I simply did not keep up.  I’d like to tweak this one a bit:  I’m going to change this goal to 50 push ups a week.  And if I dare, perhaps I’ll up that as the year progresses.  

June- 50 Miles 1 Month:  My Aunt Ileana sent me an invitation to this event and my first reaction was “there’s no way I’ll find time to get in 50 miles.”  Then I looked at my best distance month, which just so happens to be last month, at 22.6 miles.  “I didn’t even get half way to that on my best month!  Definitely not.”  So what did I do?  I accepted the challenge and at this moment I’m at 8.44/50 miles completed with another 2 miles scheduled for later today.  I’m a bit nervous I won’t complete it, but I might as well try!  Here’s to rising to the challenge!

[danalove14]

Dana Lovelace's Personal Page for 2015 Walk Now for Autism Speaks - Westchester/Fairfield

Learn more about autism and make a donation if you're able.

This year my husband, son, and I will be joining Team Kate’s Mates at the Walk Now for Autism Speaks event on Sunday.  

Of course, we walk to support all those affected by autism and we hope our efforts will help to provide resources for everyone who needs them.  However, we do walk for a specific person as well, my husband’s sister Katie. 

Katie is a sweet and wonderful young woman who is full of love.  Her favorite color is purple and she adores the TV show Full House.  When she visits us, we often enjoy nights full of Karaoke, as we’re seen doing so in the picture above.  

One in every 68 children has an autism spectrum disorder.  Autism Speaks has been making strides for autism for 10 years now and its current goal is to “significantly enhance autism services in every  community and push to get the groundbreaking ABLE Act , now the law of the land, implemented in all 50 states.”

If you can, lend a hand!  (Or donate a couple bucks!)  Just click the link above to learn more.

Thank you!

[danalove14]

Baby Weight

Just like millions of other new moms, I gained some weight last year through my pregnancy. No, that's not a startling revelation I'm sure. The weight hasn't "fallen off" as it seems to for some and even getting back into a fitness routine has shown slower progress than I'm used to. 

In the Spring of 2012 I looked at myself and decided to make a few changes. I went to the gym 4 times a week doing cardio and weight training. I began using an app called Calorie Count and honestly monitored everything I ate and every activity I did. I set caloric differential goals and met them. I lost nearly 90 pounds in 8 months.

(June 2011 on left, November 2012 on right)

I've always been active, I played several sports in high school and worked full time through college. However, I've never been the picture of health and I'm still not. I may never be. I felt great doing all of these things. I could jog a mile, I was making gains on lifting and squatting weights, and I was thinning out. Progress was sweet. 

After we bought our house in late 2013 my husband and I started talking about a family. Considering the baby pictures I shower people with, I think you can guess how that talk went. My pregnancy was fairly uncomplicated, easy even. I don't have much to complain about. Through the first two trimesters I gained almost nothing (something like 5-8lbs), but the last trimester was having none of that. My weight came up about 25 lbs when all was said and done. 

In my first trimester a friend of mine asked a question I had considered my self pre-pregnancy. How did I feel about the shift to gaining weight for my pregnancy? 

Honestly, I hated it. Being overweight has been a problem for me all of my life. It finally felt like things were being reigned in and I was in control. Pregnancy threatened to undo my weak grasp on a happier body image. But I wanted a family, so there was nothing to do but get over it. To try and reassure myself that everything would be fine, I set up some goals and guidelines in my mind. 

I promised myself I'd eat very well, staying away from fast and processed foods. I reduced my salt intake and made sure I was drinking the recommended amount of water for a pregnant woman my size. I carried snacks of fruits and vegetables everywhere so I always had a healthy option. I listened to my body in a way that I don't really think I had done before. I made sure to stay active with exercise throughout my pregnancy. Exercising slipped a bit it the last month when my feet started to hurt from just about everything, but otherwise it worked. 

Every ultrasound and every bit of blood work came back with excellent bills of health for both me and Beny. When a bit more weight started to accumulate, I promised myself I'd get right back into workout mode post-baby. 

I think I was somewhat delusional about what maternity leave would be like. I had a c-section which meant I wasn't even supposed to drive for 2 weeks (yeah right) never mind exercise. And when did I dream up having all of this workout time? I was learning how to care for an infant, nurse, adjust my sleep schedule, and recover. And Beny is such a happy little guy, super cooperative, and amazing. He slept pretty well for a newborn, turning in for a 4 hour snooze around 10PM, needing a feeding when he woke, then going almost immediately back to sleep. He was sleeping 7-8 hours regularly at night by about 6 weeks in. He's practically an angel for not stealing my sanity. 

I think what I lost in translation was that my days wouldn't be the same as they were before with an added baby buddy. Newborns need a lot of attention. They can't eat a lot at once, but they're hungry as soon as their tummy is empty. And an empty tummy means a full diaper. And a newborn can only communicate by crying. And a newborn sleeps a lot. And a newborn is new and doesn't understand the world and why everything is so weird. 

We also don't have a lot of local family who are able to lend us a hand for an hour here and there. Thus, a gym membership is largely useless for two parents working opposite shifts. It also means Beny goes everywhere with us, which is wonderful, but sometimes a hassle when you desperately need some feminine products but your tired baby boy has finally fallen asleep on your drive to the drug store. Drive-thru tampons should be a thing. 

I'm not saying we had no time, I'm sure there were ways I could have been more diligent about getting back into shape. I could have pulled my zombie-like couch-obsessed form out for a run. Baby strollers accommodate that. I could have been more careful about what I ate, saying no to the quick and easy pizza option a few more times, surely one of Beny's naps would have accommodated another home cooked meal. The long and short of it is I didn't. Some new moms are awesome about getting right on track, and that's wonderful for them. In the words of Amy Poehler, "good for you, not for me." 

As I grew in my role as a parent, things started to get easier and fall into place. Come the new year I started working out via home Zumba videos. When the weather shifted I took to the outdoors for walks and runs. I'm now being more selective about my meals, watching my water intake, and generally doing what I did before. The result? Eight months postpartum I'm about 11lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight. It's not the ideal stated by doctors and the American Health Association, which says you should be back down to your start weight by 6 months post, but that's okay. 

(August 2014 8 months pregnant on right, March 2015 6 months post on left)

Baby weight is a touchy subject for most new moms. There's an instant pressure to get right back into your old swing, and let's face it, nothing is ever going to be the same. Sure, you'll get back into the flow of work or running or crafting or whatever it is you love to do, but it's not the same. There's a baby who needs you, and there's something incredibly special and blinding about that. Being a new mom is a lot like getting hit by a truck. Some days it's a figurative truck full of love, hope, and plans for a bright future. Other days you're road kill. Often you'll be in a middle state of exhausted mushy love that probably smells a little. I think that's where I am. The point is you're not the same after the collision. Don't expect the pieces to fall together exactly where they were. Chances are they won't. But the things that are important to you will remain and the goals that you work toward will come in time.

[danalove14]

Ropa Vieja Sliders

If you’ve never heard of or tried Ropa Vieja, you’re missing out.  It’s a pull apart mouthwatering beef dish that can be served tons of ways.  I serve it primarily over rice, though sticking it on little buns made for the perfect appetizer.

Below is my husband’s grandmother’s recipe, translated.  I also made some alterations to the recipe so it could be cooked in a crockpot.  Either way, you won’t be disappointed.  Enjoy!