There WILL be NSFW on this blog so please proceed with caution! (It's relatively tame though because. I'm a prude. But it's there)
Fandoms: ♡ Blush Blush ♡ Crush Crush ♡ Ever After High ♡ Riordanverse ♡ Harry Potter ♡ Monster High ♡ Miraculous Ladybug ♡ Attack on Titan | Shingeki no Kyojin ♡ A Series of Unfortunate Events ♡ classic Barbie movies ♡
╰─•♡•─ Ongoing Blush Blush/Crush Crush projects + some which I'm pondering!!
╰─•♡•─ SPS Characters Hunger Games AU
╰─•♡•─ BB/CC-themed relationship chart template
╰─•♡•─ LiuAki Introduction/Masterpost
I likely won't interact often with other posts or blogs because again, I want to exist quietly :') so please don't take it personally! Instead of reblogging, sometimes I'll just. Hoard post links on my Notes app :')
Tags!!
#dancerspam - spam
#things i wanna say to you - vent posts?
#dancerswritingdesk - dancerspam specific to fanfic writing
#dancerscreations - stuff I made!
#dancersfanfics - fanfics I wrote!
#danswers - ask posts
#bookmarks (save for later) - reblogged longposts or fic posts that I wanna read when I have the time
#gasp... is that for me - art that others have made for me!!! <333
#dancersvault - posts I've seen that I want to return to :3
More below the cut!! :
Oc tags:
#dancersocspam - general posts about ocs
#ocponderings - lore/headcanon posts about ocs
#dancervannaposting - posts abt Vanna, will contain #Vannabel (Vanna x Bonnibel Valentine from Crush Crush)
#dancerliuposting - posts about Liu, will contain #LiuAki (Liu x Aki from Blush Blush)
#dancernatsuposting - posts about my Natsu!! (Blush Blush OC)
Miscellaneous tags:
#foxthoughts - posts centred around the Kitsune Boys, including the canon Summer Clan
AU tags:
#misc au stuff - general AU posts
#SPS Hunger Games AU
#Vannabel Tangled AU
#BBreverseAU - mainly a LiuAki reverse AU!!
#BB/EAH AU - Blush Blush/Ever After High AU!!
Graphics creds!!
♡ this author wrote this with their own two hands ♡ This user is a petal of a flower ♡ this user worries too much ♡ this user doesn't know anything!!! ♡ (This user likes to use parentheses.) ♡ this user thinks you deserve to be happy ♡ Pink dividers ♡
actually gonna steal eah!coles clothes istg he has too much swag its almost pissing me off
LMAO genuinely though -- when I was finishing up drawing for Cole, I felt this indescribable annoyance like -- ohh I'm never gonna design something like this again for a LONG time skslsksk
If Fuyu ever babysits one of Vannabel's (nonexistent) kids, I wonder if he'll be one of those people who respond to infant babbles like they're proper intelligible words
Maud: "Abababbwaba"
Fuyu: "Yes, I had the same thought."
Maud: "Buh- wawammuh amnamba!"
Fuyu: "Oh? You will have to tell me more, tiny one."
Some of the bois from my Blush Blush/Ever After High AU!!
Cole = Chesire Cat | Albert = King of Hearts | Nimh = Goldilocks | Poe = Evil Queen (Snow White) | Scale = Hamlet | Volks = Little Red Riding Hood
Ohhh this took so long. Scale was the hardest to do HAH -- it was just me slaving over WHERE on earth I could possibly put a pop of colour on his all-black outfit. Thankfully my Hamlet-enjoying friend suggested ghosts ang flowers as his design motif!! I actually wanted to give Scale a flower crown to contrast with the overall harshness of his outfit, but ohhh that would've taken so long.. BUT THEY'RE HERE!!
Listening to 15th century French music while reading through a 14th century Italian poem and writing about fictionalised Japanese fox spirits after JUST finishing a paragraph on a Taiwanese character during the aftermath of the Yiwei War and listening to my friend talk about the Malian Empire in 13th century all while being an Australian girl who doesn't know anything
Would you (yes, YOU) consider yourself to be my friend?
Yes :')
Not really, but I think we're working towards it
No, but that's okay with me :)
No, but I would like that to change
Remaining time: 1 day 11 hours
Honestly it works out that the answers are anonymous!! I'll be happy if anyone comes forth with their answer, but I don't mind the mystery :)) I don't mind if anyone says "no" either skslsk
I think it's obvious who these two are meant to be HAH -- Cole and Albert from my Ever After High AU!!
I had to get my friend's feedback with these guys because the actual drawing part was killing me. I also made Cole's ears pointy!! And if you're wondering why he has two sets of ears, that's because his cat ears are just an accessory with his outfit. He's not in his cat form right now slslsks -- and Albert's heavy clothes make him look HEFTY hehehe someone help this man when summer arrives...
More stuff about the evil Blush Blush/Ever After High AU
I've gone MADDD
Special abilities/quirks of each character
Royal / Rebel
Nimh (son of Goldilocks) - naturally-skilled lockpicker; can unlock any kind of lock, code, or safe with just a touch. Seems to like eating porridge and oatmeal!!
Volks (son of Little Red Riding Hood) - enhanced senses, speed, and strength. His eyes glow yellow when using his wolf abilities to their fullest. Prefers meat dishes (meatlovers pizza, ham legs, etc.)
Kelby (son of Robin Hood) - supernaturally precise aim.
Eli (son of Prince Charming) - has the ability to energise someone by winking at them.
Anon (son of Jack and the Beanstalk) - can throw beans onto the ground and grow giant beanstalks in seconds; no fear of heights/physical danger.
Garret (son of Snow White's Huntsman) - can create/build anything within seconds, as long as it's made of wood.
Dmitri (son of Gretel) - can smell desserts from long distances.
Ichiban (son of Stingy Jack) - extra lucky; can easily persuade supernatural beings (spirits, imps, phantoms, even demons)
William (son of King Thrushbeard) - can use magic to disguise himself with illusions, or simply trick people into not recognising him.
Myx (son of the Pied Piper) - has the ability to hypnotize/control the movements of humans and creatures with music.
Stirling (son of the Dark Fairy) - can use dark magic to cast spells and curses. The magic system in EAH is kind of. Random. So there's not much to say about this in detail.
Scale (son of Hamlet) - has the ability to hear whispers of the dead; easily provoked and very expressive.
continues below!!
Sven (son of the Hedgehog) - excellent at bluffing/trickery; his legs might look a lil crooked when he runs.
Cole (son of the Cheshire Cat) - invisibility and teleportation -- can leave behind a disembodied smile; able to "hear" the Narrator.
Poe (son of the Evil Queen) - dark magic similar to Stirling's; can summon dark creatures to do his bidding, but only if he demands it. He can't ask politely :')
Cashew (son of Askelad) - can charm most magical creatures (particularly trolls) to listen to what he requests of them.
Seth (son of Death) - can inflict minor diseases onto people; likes telling riddles that foreshadow people's downfall; likes exploiting loopholes just to be cruel.
Logan (son of Little Red Riding Hood's Huntsman) - can build/make anything in seconds, similar to Garret.
Reece (son of Puss in Boots) - extremely charismatic/persuasive; supernaturally dexterous; can turn into a cat at will.
Aki (son of MomotarĹŤ) - can make himself appear younger or older; can instantaneously grow peach trees; can talk to animals
Haru (son of Genji) - naturally alluring; can magically grab anyone's attention by simply speaking; can instantly spot nuances in literature, although he's deficient when it comes to considering/understanding other people's feelings.
Fuyu (son of Otohime) - immortal, but easily heartbroken; supernaturally beautiful; can talk to aquatic animals and dragons.
Ace (son of Prince Charming) - has the ability to make people swoon by grinning at them.
Xianyun (son of Li Ji) - can sense hostile creatures nearby; tools are magically more durable in his hands.
Mac (son of Papa Bear) - can turn into a bear at will.
Albert (son of the Queen of Hearts) - can make, build, and create almost anything out of playing cards; has the ability to break through solid things with just his hands or one finger; can sense if there are hedgehogs nearby.
Itharion (son of Étoilette) - can speak to cats; can summon fairies to his aid;
Leo (son of Pinocchio) - incapable of lying; overshares against his own will; incapable of physically feeling
Fabian (son of Undine) - turns into a mermaid upon skin contact with water; supernaturally beautiful; can influence the weather;
If Volks is the son of Little Red Riding Hood AND The Big Bad Wolf -- then like. I realised that he needs a sibling. Because if HE'S the next Little Red, then someone has to be the next Badwolf. And if Little Red and Badwolf are married, then the child of Badwolf is also the child of Little Red, ergo, the sibling of Volks. Obviously.
So I'm like, "Um, did I screw myself up :')" -- but then I thought -- "Hold on. There's a character who interacts with Volks in canon!!"
Enter -- Tessa from Crush Crush. Somehow.
But NOBODY knows they're related. You have Volks, the next Little Red Riding Hood -- and Tessa, the next Big Bad Wolf. Cool!!
Except!! What if those aren't even their destinies. Everyone thinks they are!! Even Volks and Tessa were totally sure of their own stories. Until -- what if later down the line, they find out that TESSA is actually supposed to be Little Red and VOLKS is meant to be Badwolf. That's gonna be awkward since they've been presenting as the opposite roles for their whole lives.
But at the same time, it makes sense because -- you have Tessa, a curious and impressionable girl -- and you have Volks, who likes threatening to bite people. So. Sure, I guess. I dom't know if I want this to be canon to the AU yet though LMAO
okay listen so the myth i was thinking about was the vietnamese creation myth of Lạc Long Quân and Ă‚u CơÂ
basically it’s between a dragon king of the sea and the fairy queen of the mountains and they fall in love before having like a ton of kids (like. 100) and then they realize they can’t be together because they’re from different worlds and split off with half of the kids each
i think that route would be fun for like. because the child would technically be from both dragon and fairy, so they can’t exactly fulfill both parents legacies. also xen would just hate the concept of having children
BUT FUCK THE HORATIO AND MAD HATTER IDEAS ARE SK GOOD DANCER WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME STILL HAVING GOOD IDEAS /SILLY
OHHHHHHH you're making me want to invest more in the AU oh my gofd
Also I'm glad you mentioned the weird logic because. I'm STILL confused about that. Like what happens when the protagonists of a story are siblings -- like Hansel and Gretel. They each have kids. So then THOSE kids should be the next Hansel and Gretel, right? But?? They're cousins, not siblings?? There are other cases of "How is this meant to work" (Sleeping Beauty's 100-year rest, Snow White and the Evil Queen being stepmother-stepdaughter, Characters who are supposed to die at the end, etc.) -- So. How.
I guess Xen could just. Be assigned to one of those destinies somehow. The Wikipedia tells me that Lạc Long Quân says "I am descended from dragons, you from immortals. We are as incompatible as water is with fire. So we cannot continue in harmony." -- but how will that logic hold up when Xen is like. Both. So I see the issue!! :,)
Basically -- if the BB Guys (and some CC Girls) were the children of fairytale characters!!
╰─•♡•─ I say "fairytale characters" BUT it's not limited to that -- there are characters from nursery rhymes, prominent music pieces (like Tchaikovsky's "Swan Lake"), and mythology/folklore, so like. Famous classical characters, basically!!
Anyway. In Ever After High, the student population is "divided" into two groups. There's the Royals (the traditionalists who believe in following the footsteps of their predecessors), and the Rebels (the individualists who believe people should be allowed to write their own destiny)
Important things to know:
Animal characters (the Big Bad Wolf, the March Hare, etc.) are able to take on a human form.
The premise of EAH is that the children of these popular fairytale characters are destined to follow the paths of their parents, so that their stories may continue to exist and be told -- and then THEY'LL have children and so on and so forth.
Royals (the traditionalists)
Nimh (son of Goldilocks - Goldilocks and The Three Bears)
Eli (son of Prince Charming - [unknown story])
Anon (son of Jack - Jack and The Beanstalk)
Dmitri (son of Gretel - Hansel and Gretel)
Ichiban (son of Stingy Jack - Jack O'The Lantern)
William (son of King Thrushbeard)
Sven (son of the Hedgehog - The Hare and The Hedgehog)
Cashew (son of Esben Askelad - Askeladden)
Logan (son of the Huntsman - Little Red Riding Hood)
Haru (son of Genji - The Tale of Genji)
Fuyu (son of Otohime - Urashima TarĹŤ)
Ace (son of Prince Charming - [unknown story])
Mac (son of Papa Bear - Goldilocks and the Three Bears)
Albert (son of the Queen of Hearts - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland)
Fabian (son of Undine)
More characters below the cut + more thoughts heheh
!! Warnings for -- death and suicide !!
Rebels (the individualists)
Volks (son of Little Red Riding Hood)
Kelby (son of Robin Hood)
Garret (son of the Huntsman - Snow White)
Myx (son of the Pied Piper)
Scale (son of Hamlet)
Stirling (son of the Dark Fairy - Sleeping Beauty)
Poe (son of the Evil Queen - Snow White)
Seth (son of Death - Death's Messengers)
Reece (son of Puss in Boots)
Aki (son of MomotarĹŤ)
Itharion (son of Étoilette)
Leo (son of Pinocchio)
Cole (son of the Cheshire Cat - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland)
Xianyun (son of Li Ji - Li Ji Zhan She)
So. The reason the whole Royal/Rebel division exists, is because there's a huge debate as to whether people SHOULD follow in the footsteps of their predecessors and continue their story. The Rebels (often villain/antagonist characters who end up getting SUPER bad deals at the end of their stories) naturally don't want to end up killed/imprisoned, and some of them don't even WANT to commit evil deeds in the first place, so they want to write their own destinies!!
The reason this ^^ is such an issue though is because, allegedly, if anyone dared to diverge from their predestined tale, then they would simply cease to exist. And since this affects EVERYBODY in the story, the Royals (typically the ones in "hero" roles who prevail at the end of their stories) are quite. Frightened at the prospect of basically dying if they strayed from the path.
HOWEVER. There are nuances to this. Royals like Eli, Anon, Haru, Mac, etc. -- they might believe it's totally okay to write your own destiny!! And Rebels like Myx, Stirling, Aki, etc. might be totally okay with following their own predestined paths!! As you can imagine, these ^^ categories are politically-driven metaphors. A lot of it has to do with inherent privilege -- Royals are typically, yk, Royal, or they're the heroic protagonists of their fated tales. Rebels are often the commoner/antagonist/villain characters who are meant to be made an example of. Again, nuances for a show marketed towards young girls!! We love to see it.
Also um. I'm gonna say that instead of taking place at a high school, this AU is set in a university where everyone's preparing for "Legacy Day," the famous ceremony in which our characters step onto a stage and pledge to follow their destinies for the whoooole world to see. This pledge magically seals the characters into their destined roles. The physically "older" characters shall be professors and staff!!
And technology-wise, this universe is actually more advanced than us currently!! There are parody devices like "Mirrorphones" so you can "hext" your friends and access the "MirrorNet", and parody pop culture characters like "Tailor Swift," "Lady Yaga," "One Reflection" -- so like. We're just here to have fun. Basically take our modern-day world and redesign it with romanticised medieval-fantasy elements. That's Ever After High.
Extra thoughts
Volks - son of Little Red Riding Hood
It probably would've made more sense thematically if he was the Big Bad Wolf's son, huh? Well. Funny story!! The daughter of Little Red Riding Hood in the EAH canon (Cerise Hood) is also the daughter of the Big Bad Wolf!! Basically, Red and Badwolf got married off-page and in secret. Because if people found out, ohhhh lord they'll be storming out with torches and pitchforks.
I was thinking that Volks should get the same treatment!! He presents himself as the son of Little Red, though. Conveniently, he wears a long hooded cloak to hide his wolf ears. Honestly this whole thing is a pretty interesting metaphor for mixed-race children,, since Badwolf (the POC-adjacent character) is actually a really standup and wholesome guy, but he's meant to play the role of an "aggressor" to fit conventions. But anyway. Yeah idk,, this element of secrecy adds another layer to Volks' natural inclination for solitude.
Eli, Iro, and Ace - children of Prince Charming [Unknown Story]
THEY'RE NOT RELATED!! <- I just needed to get this out of the way first HAHSHg -- so basically, many many stories contain a "Prince Charming" and thus, so that there aren't any complications with like. Um. Potential inbreeding down the line. In the Ever After High universe, there are multiple "Charming" families that are actually completely unrelated to one another!!
HOWEVER since there are so many different "Charmings," their kids actually don't know what their destined story IS until it's their time to re-enact it.
Eli - son of Prince Charming
Eli is canonically queer. Well. Literally every character here is queer, but Eli's super open about his identity!! Given the political undertones of this AU, I imagine it would cause problems for him to be openly queer when his Destiny calls for him to be a PRINCE who has to marry a princess and be wholesome about it (I WISHED they touched on this topic in EAH!! They included a canon lesbian kiss AND they have canon queer characters but ARGH the franchise got cancelled before that kiss could be addressed :( anyway)
I think his status as a LITERAL royal is his main wall of protection. I guess that people would think it's a phase or whatever, since Eli can be perceived as "childish" and so there's hope for him to "take himself more seriously" in due time. At heart, Eli is a Rebel. Of course he is. For now though, he's given the world enough reasons to go against him :(
Iro - daughter of Prince Charming
What happens when a Charming family has a daughter? Does she become a "Princess Charming?"
Well actually, she becomes a damsel-in-distress. Sigh. Iro's stereotypically-boyish proclivities infuriate her father and they're CONSTANTLY at odds because of it.
In EAH, there's a girl Charming character who's this exact type of person. My beautiful queen Darling Charming <3 she plays into her damsel-in-distress role in public, but like -- this girl is secretly running around in a full set of armour to thwart villains and defend people. And she's not even doing it for the glory. When she's in her armour, NO ONE can see her face. I think Iro would totally rock this kind of role. Not necessarily pretending to be a damsel-in-distress, but like. Pretending that she can't do anything truly "rebellious" except argue with her dad. Make him BELIEVE he has any control over what she does. Then when he's not looking, she'll go and fight dragons or something!!
Anon - son of Jack (and the Beanstalk)
Since Anon is the younger brother of Nina in this AU, that makes HER the Destiny-Holder. Therefore, Anon is allowed to just sit back and cruise along without fretting over his destiny. He's classified as a Royal only because it's convenient for him as the son of a "hero" character, and a lot of his friends are Royals, but lordd his loophole-exploiting contradictarian self is on thin ice LMAO.
Anon is ALWAYS surfing the MirrorNet. He's also one of the only ones capable of scaling a whole tower from the outside, just to fix the cell service when Rumplestiltskin is being annoying and messing with the connections up there for the giggles. It's definitely quicker than running up the looooong stairwell to get there. As you can imagine -- due to Anon's heritage, that boy is NOT afraid of heights or risks of physical danger. But he's still glad that Nina is the Destiny-Holder between the two -- she's the one who's actually willing to get her hands dirty.
(The reason that Eli and Iro are BOTH Destiny-Holders while Anon gets to sit back, is -- while "Jack" is a whole character, "Prince Charming" is more like. A role. A character archetype.)
Scale - son of Hamlet
Scale could technically be a Royal since Hamlet was a prince, but. Scale openly HATES his story. You mean to tell me... he's destined to go mad over his father's murder, over his father's ghost haunting and guiding him, over his UNCLE being the murderer -- then Scale has to drive an innocent girl into insanity and suicide, then Scale has to kill a random dude by mistake, then Scale kills his uncle (the correct dude), then Scale has to duel the brother of the girl he traumatised, then Scale kills the brother (plus two extra people??), then Scale has to watch his mother die, then Scale HIMSELF has to die by his wounds from the previous duel (turns out, the brother's sword was poisoned!!) and Scale DIES in his best friend's arms.
So. Yeah!! Scale isn't totally keen to re-enact this story. Due to his heritage, he'll sometimes hear a voice in his ear telling him to kill someone. If you catch him randomly muttering "shut up" or "go away," don't be startled <3
Cole - son of the Cheshire Cat
Okay so -- some Wonderlandians actually have the ability to "hear" the Narrator. Like say, if I made a fanfiction about this AU, Cole would be able to "hear" the words as the fic goes on, as if it were a little voice in his head. Whether he feels like breaking the fourth wall is totally up to him, though. He's still the future Cheshire Cat, so whatever he does is purely in the name of chaos. His heritage also means he's able to teleport (and leave behind a disembodied grin) <- but anyway. Only the Cheshire Cat and the Mad Hatter are known to have this omniscient "hearing."
He'll start fights, tell lies, tell riddles, prank people, and expose peoples' secrets for fun. <- this puts him at odds with Volks, because Cole quickly learned about Volks' parentage and is currently thinking of ways to put him on the spot. Which. Um. The consequences for Volks and his family would be DIRE so, Volks is actively working against Cole.
Poe - son of the Evil Queen
The main character in Ever After High is the Evil Queen's daughter, so. I just wanted to let my fav Guy have the spotlight for a change because I've been neglecting him </3 -- ALSO. The Evil Queen in EAH has a loooot of bird motifs (her daughter's name is Raven; they both wear feathers with their outfits; she nicknames Raven as "blackbird" or "birdie") -- so Poe was perfect for this.
When it comes to Being Evil, I don't think Poe would want to do anything outright malicious. Maybe he'll wilt some roses for The Vibes and have some skeletal birds carry his luggage around -- but. Hm. So... he has to poison someone out of jealousy, and then he has to be captured and incarcerated (or killed) at the end of his story. No thanks. I think he'll be more mischievous and deadpanned than Raven (who's suuuper sweet and super expressive) but overall quite similar. Much to ponder.
Fuyu actually hates his story SO much. What do you MEAN he's destined to live as a lonely prince at the bottom of the sea who eventually finds a mortal lover, and they live happily with Fuyu for a while, only for them to miss their family and request to leave -- at which Fuyu will be HEARTBROKEN and he'll let them leave, but not before giving them a precious box that basically kills them, and Fuyu is left to live the rest of his days alone. Like. Okay. Lordddd his romantic heart is already breaking at the thought. But his mindset of "tradition = sacred" is so ingrained that this is such a mental battle for him. If anyone dared to show him any pity for his fate, Fuyu would DEFEND his role with his life. But ohhhh he hates it. He doesn't know what to do.
Mac - son of Papa Bear
Mac is quite an upstanding citizen, but he feels SUPER weird about being categorised as a Royal, because of his past as a delinquent with destructive anger issues. Now, though, he's happy to feed people. He likes joking around with Nimh, the future Goldilocks, because Nimh is super apologetic about "hey, um, I have to trespass on your property, eat your food, and break your furniture :')" and Mac just can't help laughing at that skslsjsl
Albert - son of the Queen of Hearts
Albert is all toffee-nosed and prideful, but he isn't so much an erratic shouting tyrant than he is just a super snooty guy who likes threatening execution on any of his students who perform below his ridiculously high standards. Strangely, he gets along with Cole. They're FAR from "friends," but they understand each other. Albert could spout some Wonderlandian nonsense like "If the squirrel eats acorns, but never a steak, how much butter fills up the lake? >:(" -- then Cole would nod and be like, "ohh that DOES sound serious. For the cave of the bear is open so wide, would you really change the pull of the tide? :)"
^^ This form of speaking is actually the Wonderlandian language known as "Riddlish" !!
And, a little fact about Wonderland -- Poe's mother, the Evil Queen, actually decided to expand her horizons to other stories beyond Snow White. When she hit Wonderland, she corrupted that realm with dark magic and most characters were forced to flee into the realm of Ever After before the connection between the two realms was severed permanently. Albert and Cole are among those refugees. And. Hm. Albert quite misses Wonderland, he thinks.
Warnings and Tags: Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, PTSD, Graphic Violence, Death, Near-Death Experiences, Amputation, Introspection, Mourning and Grieving, Ableism, Friendship
Summary: It's been a while since Volks won the 43rd Hunger Games. Ideally, that meant he would get to live the rest of his life in peace with his mom -- but having to come back every year to send another kid to their death proved to significantly thwart that goal. With the 47th Hunger Games fast approaching, he would once again prep another kid to die.
Being cold wasn't anything out of the ordinary for the folks in the tall forests of District 7. It was nothing they weren't already used to. Oxymoronically, Volks prided himself on being humble and self-sufficient, since his mom was always out of the house and tending to some kind of logging accident — gorey splinters, flayed skin, crushed limbs, all the things that came with living in a lumber district.
For Volks, he joined the local workshop at thirteen years old and learned how to build all sorts of furniture. Hammering nails and measuring table legs became common practise — although he envied the lumberjacks somewhat. Volks would've loved a job working in the forests... climbing those trees, planting them, peeling bark, breathing in fresh air instead of sawdust bits. But working this job was less likely to worry his mom, and getting to take a piece of furniture home was always a rewarding experience.
Though nothing worried Volks' mother more than the day his name was Reaped for the 43rd Hunger Games. An icy tundra was the setting of the Arena, he would learn. An enormous winter forest of wolves and oxen and periodic snowstorms. How did the Gamemakers ever manage to simulate an environment like this? You would've found it hard to believe that the Arena was just a gigantic dome at the end of the day, what with how easily they replicated an unforgiving arctic climate. Volks was used to being cold, but nothing prepared him for this, for fighting twenty-three other kids to the death for the country's entertainment.
"Volks?"
"Mnh?" Volks jolted, then relaxed through his startled, thumping heart as Suzu approached him with two drinks in hand. "Oh — is that for me?"
"Mhm!" Suzu kindly bent forward enough so that Volks could reach for a glass from where he sat slumped on the cold marble steps. "Sawyer told me where to find you."
Oh, yeah. Sawyer.
Volks dipped his head and watched his warped reflection in the bright red liquid. He did that a lot, since running his "fingers" through his hair often caused the joints of his prosthetics to get tangled in the strands. Maybe he just needed a haircut.
"Is she okay?" Volks asked stiffly."
Suzu padded down the steps and stopped at the bottom. She looked different than this morning, having changed into something more shimmery for tonight's party that Volks had no plans to participate in. Suzu was nice for someone who was meant to be a Capitol Escort — all the other districts' Tributes were stuck with Escorts who didn't seem to know how to read the room. District 11's Escort, a flashy celebrity named Haru, was hardly seen with his Tributes outside of camera appearances. That must've been frustrating for them.
"She's okay...! She's talking to Kelby." Chirped Suzu, smoothing out her flowy white sleeves that shone iridescent beneath the high ceiling chandeliers.
Volks kept his eyes down on his drink. He hated that. He hated how everything that shone 'weirdly' made his stomach churn like this. He hated looking too closely at his steel prosthetic fingers too.
Suzu cleared her throat. "I wanted to say, it was really kind of you to come back here with her. I know how you..."
Suzu didn't need to finish that sentence. Volks won the Hunger Games about 4 years ago. He was nineteen now. A Victor. Usually, a Victor had to come back every following year to act as a Mentor for their Tributes — show them the ropes, increase their odds of survival... but Volks didn't have to do that anymore since Sawyer won her Games a couple years ago.
She could've easily taken over the 'Mentor' role, but... part of Volks felt it was wrong to make her carry that burden on her own, even if the two of them weren't totally close.
Maybe that was the same part of him that felt utterly useless when it was Sawyer's turn to fight in the Hunger Games back then, how Volks had to be her Mentor, how he had to coach this girl who was so capable and yet so scared, when Volks himself didn't have a damn clue in the world.
"It's nothing." Volks murmured, because that was easier than saying all of this aloud.
"...Yeah." Suzu nodded, her shoulders drooping a bit. "What should I tell the others tonight? At the party?"
Volks shook his head noncommitally. Suzu knew by now that Volks would only make public appearances if it was for a mandatory interview. He saw how that imposing Fuyu guy, District 1's Escort, made all of his Tributes built rapport with the bigshots here in the Capitol. And sure, that helped to significantly boost their odds of survival, but... even with his newfound fame, Volks was still just as poorly when it came to making connections.
He was used to it by now. Contented, even. But with his figners gone, replaced with these claw-like prosthetics that prevented him from comfortably hugging his mom back, Volks found himself coexisting with a deep absence that only worsened over the years.
And still...
"Tell them that I tucked in for the night." Volks shrugged. He couldn't find it in himself to look at Suzu right now. "Um... thanks."
"It's okay." she said softly. Her shadow on the marble floors bowed politely. "Thank you too, Volks."
And he could only scoff at that when Suzu wandered away out of earshot. Volks was that last person that anyone should be thanking, for any reason. He caught himself wondering at times, if it would've been better for him to have died in the Hunger Games instead. Or maybe he could run away into the woods, somewhere the Capitol couldn't catch him.
Then who would he bring? His mom, definitely, but she was sorely needed in District 7 and it would've been cruel to deprive them of one of the few good people in this world. Maybe he'd run away on his own, maybe he'd be able to convince himself he could survive that way. That he didn't need anyone else. That Volks wasn't in any way jealous of Sawyer and that strange connection she'd built with the blue-haired servant girl, the blue-haired Avox, here in the Capitol.
But that was a weird thought. Was he even jealous? Was that the right word? He was definitely concerned for Sawyer; no one is permitted to speak to the Avoxes unless they were given orders. But Volks often found the two of them chatting — or rather, it was Sawyer doing the chatting. Avoxes couldn't speak with their tongues cut off. But the Avox in question, Lake, always seemed happier, calmer, in Sawyer's presence in contrast with her typical meekness and subservitude.
Maybe Volks just wanted someone to talk to. Suzu was okay, but she and Volks lived in totally different worlds. Sawyer was okay too, but Volks would always be her former Mentor in his eyes, even though they were the same age. All of his relationships were infected by some kind of tension that made him wonder how much of it was his fault. He was never good at making friends.
And — love? That was off the table entirely. Volks couldn't fathom that. Finding someone, settling down, starting a family... could he even do that? Was it okay to do that? The thought itself was... harrowing. The thought of finding someone he would feel so deeply for, only to lose them in case he acted up, in case the Capitol ever wanted to make an example out of him. And the thought of raising children, with the constant threat of them being Reaped for the Hunger Games at any point in their formative years — he'd never have kids. He knew what children looked like when they died.
Kelby was from District 4, the fishing District, one of the well-off Districts who brought fairly healthy crops of Tributes to the Hunger Games. Kelby had won the 44th Hunger Games, right after Volks' year, at fifteen. He emerged a fellow amputee, having lost his entire leg and was clearly still getting used to his new prosthetic with the help of a cane.
And he was okay company, Volks thought.
"Hope you don't mind if I make myself comfortable," Kelby smiled sideways at Volks as he lowered himself to sit on the marble steps as well. The pony wall completely hid them both from any nosy Capitol folks who probably would've stopped to chat them up. "The crowd's kind of excited tonight and I needed a breather, y'know?"
"Yeah, I thought so." Volks shrugged, inching across the step to make room for Kelby and his cane. "Don't sweat it. You're okay."
One of the Tributes this year was a girl named Iro Kawase. She was from District 4, so Kelby was her Mentor this year. It came as no surpise that she attracted attention — she was athletic, charismatic, and her dad was actually a past Victor of the 25th Hunger Games, so Volks supposed that people would come and annoy Kelby for details about her.
Though, Volks imagined that these questions easily reminded Kelby that Iro's life was in his hands.
He figured they should talk about something else, if Kelby came here for an escape.
"Um... cool leg." said Volks smoothly, taking a sip from his drink. "Looks pretty different from the one you had a couple years back."
Kelby chuckled. "Oh, yeah. They built a super basic one for me then, but it was kind of lousy. This one's all flat around the calf area for swimming. It's like having fins."
"You still swim?"
"Yeah, man." Kelby nodded, like it was the most natural answer in the world. "I can't sit still. Whether it's fishing, or showing the kids how to swim, how to treat jellyfish stings or eel bites, or riding out on a skiff to set up fish nets around the coast —"
"On a — on a what, sorry?"
"A skiff. A small boat?"
"Right," Volks cracked a slight, tired smile. "You do a lot for your District."
"It's whatever." Kelby shook his head and leaned against his cane, looking equally fatigued. "There's so many things going on in the world, I can't really imagine not helping people. I like knowing that someone's able to put food on the table because I showed them how to make a super convincing fishing lure."
Volks nodded, swallowing down that odd sensation of... inferiority? That wasn't the right word. He respected Kelby's conduct — it kind of reminded Volks of his own mother. But something about Kelby making any effort to give a damn about the world anymore was... definitely different. Volks wasn't sure if he'd ever get it, and that kind of irked him. That feeling of this invisible wall between him and someone inherently good — that irked him. But Kelby didn't irk him.
The incessant gossip about Kelby being a screwloose who went crazy after his Games — those whispers annoyed Volks to no end. Nobody knew him. Volks didn't either, but Kelby was a better person than most. Especially Volks. Kelby wasn't a monster just because he'd get nervous in big open spaces, or just because he couldn't answer questions about his experience in the Hunger Games without freezing up sometimes.
Geez, what was going on?
"What about you?" asked Kelby. And for a moment, Volks was nervous that Kelby was going to ask how he contributed to his community, then — "Your prosthetics look pretty sick."
"Oh — um, yeah." Volks held up his hands. All his fingers, replaced with steel and inlaid with silver that sat unnoticeable unless you looked at them closely. "They're okay."
"They're kinda like wolf claws." Kelby nodded.
Volks shrugged. That was true."That was Suzu's idea."
"Do you like them?"
Volks didn't answer. On one hand, he'd forgotten what warmth felt like anymore, with these rigid and unfeeling fingers. On the other hand, they looked menacing and sharp enough to shred tree bark, despite being fairly harmless unless Volks forcefully plunged these claws into someone's skin. Suzu was the one who made that comparison at first, then Volks got the feeling that she wanted him to do the same, so he played it up for the cameras.
And at first, he didn't know why she thought the hazard of his claws was anything worthy of mention. Volks thought anyone could see that just by looking at his hands, you wouldn't want to be anywhere near them. But after hearing about what kinds of things that the Capitol made the Victors do, how people like Volks were forced to sell their bodies if they were 'desirable' enough to any wealthy buyers — Volks was glad that his claws, although cool-looking, still protected him from that scene. He owed Suzu for that. Volks wouldn't have known what to do, otherwise.
He owed a lot of people for many things. In short, Volks thought his claws were... sufficient.
"They're okay." He murmured again.
"Lots of things are 'okay,' huh?" Kelby shot him a lopsided smile.
"Oh." Volks said gracefully. "Um — yeah, I guess."
"It's fine," laughed Kelby, "there's not much to say, I get it."
Volks smirked subtly, but he wasn't too sure about that.
"I feel like there's... a lot to say, actually. In general."
"In general," Kelby agreed. "We'd be here for the rest of our lives."
And they probably were going to be there for the rest of their lives. Not necessarily sitting on marble stairs in a lavish Capitol building, hiding from a party where they're offering more food on one table than Volks or Kelby are scrounging up in a whole year — but neither of them were the same boys they were before. The Hunger Games would be a mark on their lives forever.
"Good luck to you and your Tributes, this year." said Volks, glancing at Kelby near him. He shrugged. "I... mean it. Sorry to bring it up again, I just —"
"It's fine." Kelby nodded, then managed another small smile. One that was strained, but genuine. "Thank you. Good luck to you and your kids, too."
Your kids. Volks' breath hitched. God, that was sincerely, sincerely awful. District 7's Tributes, his Tributes this year were twelve and thirteen years old. They were pretty much guaranteed death, no matter how much Volks and Sawyer might prepare them for what was to come.
Though, the following moment of silence between Volks and Kelby was one that felt open. Honest, in a sense. Maybe Kelby's wish for good luck was him hoping that Volks' Tributes, his kids would go out quickly.
As horrid as it was, Volks was thankful. And he found himself hoping the same thing.
"Thank you." said Volks simply, sincerely, and without a further word.
For someone as wooden as Volks was, the lives of these kids weighed so very heavily on his shoulders, as did the deaths of the Tributes before them. But he couldn't trust himself to feel anything for anyone, lest it broke him completely one day.
He was grateful that Kelby understood. Even if Volks still hoped he might learn and re-learn what it felt like to feel one day.
