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@dancingintheblaze
4 years already passed
You've been through a lot. No one knows, and STILL no one but myself who understand how it feels to be in my shoes.
No one has said it, but i just wanna remind self. You've done such a good. I don't know how long and how much more but i gotta stand up and survive.
Because i still have a dream.
2.58 am
Just a night like those previous nights where i just want to cry my heart out. Feel all the pains and anxieties by myself. And i still haven’t gotten the answer. Yet.
For the one who i always miss and be thankful for
"Farewell And Goodnight" (Birdy ver.) (originally by Smashing Pumpkins) Goodnight, to every little hour that you sleep tight May it hold you through the winter of a long night And keep you from the loneliness of yourself Heart strung is your heart frayed and empty Cause it's hard luck, when no one understands your love It's unsung, and I say Goodnight, my love, to every hour in every day Goodnight, always, to all that's pure, that's in your heart
My limit
It’s too hard.. I don’t think I can take it long enough. I’m standing on my own without any support but the pressure is getting stronger. Til the day I can’t take everything anymore..
Til that day comes...
When I can spread my wings freely, When I can voice out my own feelings, When people stop giving me so much burden in life, When I can just go walk forward without looking back, When I can just take care no one but myself, When They let me have a dream.
Struggles.
Me Before You
"It’s just that the thing you never understand about being a mother, until you are one, is that it is not the grown man – the galumphing, unshaven, stinking, opinionated offspring – you see before you" pg 109.
.
Haruki MurakamiÂ
“Later on, we discover that all the standards we’ve lived by have shot up another notch and the world’s opened up in unexpected ways.”
Hanging in there..
I’m just hanging in there trying to do everything the best i could but i know i have my own limit too. The day where i can express everything without being judged by them folks will come surely but slowly. Up til now, i always stay true to myself for my own sake and her.
Because i don’t know how..
I want to stop being such a naggy and whiny daughter to her, but i don’t know how...
I feel like it’s my responsible to become one. I’m sorry.
My rainbow...
People say, If we want the rainbow you have to deal with the rain.
Stop
Sometimes i feel like they don’t let me have a dream. They just didn’t give me a fxxkin damn choice. They didn’t let me decide what’s better to me but always about what’s better to her and them.
25.
I want her to know that i’m no longer a kid. I’m 25.