i'm a tornado @dancingwithbpd - Tumblr Blog

Being emotionally abused drains you and makes relationships so hard and everything more complicated. Fuck abuse. Fuck people will say emotional abuse isn’t real.

beckylouisethompson-deactivated

BPD symptoms to stop making fun of and recognise as what they really are:

Needing attention Outbursts of emotion (especially anger) Not getting out of bed Social withdrawal Self-destructive behaviours Being ‘clingy’ Forgetting things Getting upset about everything Bad self-care Promiscuity ‘Weird’ or ‘unusual’ triggers Needing validation

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Needing attention - with out constant stimulation from our relationships, we forget we even mean anything to anyone. Outbursts of emotion (especially anger) - there are 5 intensity levels. at levels 4-5, we become the emotion. it sucks. (source: dialectical behavioral therapy)

Not getting out of bed - with bpd, depression is a reoccurring mood. Social withdrawal - we are champs at perfecting facades. don’t always have the energy for it though. Self-destructive behaviours - sometimes needed to escape those 4-5 intensity emotions. Being ‘clingy’ - fear of abandonment. love addicted. not knowing how else to care about people. Forgetting things - emotional impermanence. we lose perspective of things we did if its associated with something painful (aka all things, all things are painful). Getting upset about everything - impossible to see the good in anything unless someone sucked the cognitive dissonance right out of our heads. in other words, splitting–it’s a thing. Bad self-care- see: depression is a revolving and reoccurring mood. Promiscuity - see: needing attention because we don’t feel like “real” people. ‘Weird’ or ‘unusual’ triggers - sorry if you hate the word ‘trigger’, but that’s exactly what this is. emotional ptsd. how else would you explain, “oh fuck, that song reminds me of when _____. welp. time to dissociate. haha i’m not here anymore. haha, i don’t feel anything.”??? Needing validation - we want attention to feel like people. we need validation to feel like good people.

WISH I FIGURED THIS SHIT OUT A DECADE AGO.

you’re welcome.

blunder

do you ever feel the need to ask someone if they still want you in their life because it always feels like they don’t care about you or that you are bothering them.

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C H I L D R E N :

When I was a child I remember always feeling like my emotions were too much for me to handle. I cried endlessly when my mother would drop me off at day care. I felt so terrified- I felt so alone. I didn’t think I’d see my mother again. All I knew is I needed her. And that was the first memory I have of an overwhelming feeling of emotion. From there on out I remember people in my class didn’t want to talk to me. I hated when it was lunch time and time to go outside because no one ever chose me. I was never anyone’s best friend. In that situation as well I was scared, I was lonely, and I remember there was a lot of heavy emotions. In fact- mostly everyday there has been heavy emotions that weigh me down. I just- I never knew how to handle them.

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Photographer: @the-lifeof-a-borderline

Model: Harper- my friends daughter

positivedoodles

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