how to be a heartbreaker

luna rose ferrer.twenty-six. and though she be but little she is fierce

[dancingxluna]

southern-sweetpea‌:

“What in the world.” Rosetta knelt down in the garden, eyeing a particular plant that truly had no business being there. “These are..poisonous. Why are they here?” She questioned to herself, brows furrowed as she reached out to touch one of the leaves with a single gloved hand. She could hear someone walking in the grass behind her, glancing over her shoulder.

“Oh yeah, I planted those with the specific intention of murdering a bunch of people. Kidding, of course. Yeah, I have no idea why those are here. I just work here, like you must I’m assuming based on the gloves.”

[dancingxluna]

“All I want in this God damn world is a pizza. You know what is 100% not on my diet plan? A pizza. A pizza might kill me. And yet, Domino’s is dialed up on my phone.”

[dancingxluna]

“I’m collecting ties for our next public appearance because apparently none of the 28 ties Manny already owns are good enough anymore. So if you see a tall, dark, and handsome man wearing a tie and looking disgruntled please just tell him it looks nice.”

[presidentmenace]

[dancingxluna]

Luna Ferrer as Claire Standish

[dancingxluna]

ladyarnadalr‌:

“My sister isn’t a people-person and my fiance isn’t a sharing his space person so I really, really, do insist that it is at your place. Hehe?”

“Well don’t they sound fun to take to a party. My house it is then.”

[dancingxluna]

ladyarnadalr‌:

“Oh? Well I’m sure he won’t mind mud masks and rom-com’s right? Because then we can go to mine! Or…the apartment i share with my sister….not the one with my fiance. That could end with some dramaaa….your place does sound the most fun.”

“Nah, it’ll be fine. We’re not really awkward.” Her brow furrowed slightly. “Although I am slightly interested in this drama so perhaps your place is the best idea.”

[dancingxluna]

feliciajnes‌:

Felicia couldn’t help but laugh. “And you’re just assuming I want to go home with you? You’re cute and all but I’m not in the mood to deal with someone that clearly isn’t all too over the past. I just mean you wouldn’t have brought the ex part up if you were.”

“I mean, hard to completely part ways with a colleague isn’t it? And I really only brought up the ex part because, again, he lives there.”

[dancingxluna]

“So, this is normally the point where I’d ask you to come back to my place. But I do feel like I should warn you that my place is technically mine and my exes place.”

[galswillbegals]

Sutton Brady (The Bold Type)

I’m going full Hamilton on this. Because I’m the definition of young, scrappy, and hungry.

[dancingxluna]

rosie-wilshire‌:

“Oh stop. I guess that’s what happens when you are training your entire life. Always in shape. It was dumb. Because it was for like an hour at most, Lu. And I hated it. So I was glad to get deleted honestly.”

“Oh yes, we’ll just pretend that your incredible physical form is that thing that makes you a marvel of God’s Earth. Honestly, Rosie, those apps are just for a quick fling, never expect anything more.”

[dancingxluna]

jasmineahura‌:

     “Those dating apps are ridiculous, and Tinder is the worst of them.” Jasmine mused. It was no different then the men who desired dates with her for her crown, only the boys on the app wanted something else. You could never find anything genuine on them. “I’ll happily look the other way if you find a way to delete it entirely. Unsolicited pictures, horribly overused bios, makes you wonder if there’s anyone left who believes in something more authentic, doesn’t it?”

“I don’t know, I’ve always held a grudge against Bumble. 24 hours is not enough time for me to get invested enough to want to message someone.” She tilted her head back in frustration. “Dating is truly dead in the modern age.”

[dancingxluna]

ritaxdexsilva‌:

“Ugh, those types are the worst. And honestly, if you’re looking for your ‘Pam’ you ain’t gonna find her on Tinder. That’s just… like sure, some relationships work out there but the more accurate thing would be ‘Just a Chad looking to get his dick wet’. And no ones gonna judge you for that, dude. We’re all just looking for a hook up. I mean, I might not swipe right but at least you’d get some honesty points.”

“Thank you! I’m pretty sure that Jims meet their Pams in more exciting circumstances than Tinder. Just admit that you’re trying to get off and ask for my Snapchat.”

[dancingxluna]

blakehalll‌:

Laughing a little Blake tried to pull herself together. “At least they have picked out a rather admirable couple to be in hopes to be like.” Shrugging softly she tried to see some sort of light over it all. “I think that’s why I avoid dating apps. Though, I’m sure it’s interesting at moments.. everyone like a piece of chocolate from a box. Who knows what you’ll find…” 

“True. Jim and Pam is like... goals... isn’t it? But like, if you’re calling yourself a Jim, I feel like you aren’t really a Jim. Ah, Forrest Gump - another quote that is very popular on the Tinder.”

[dancingxluna]

barreledhawthorne‌:

“Wait, people really…” Nathan paused, slightly unable to process quite how dumb that was. “I get that The Office is popular, but…why would you make Jim your personality?”

“I mean, what’s the better option? Michael?”

[tayoralisonswift-deactivated201]

[dancingxluna]

rosie-wilshire‌:

“Ugh. That’s why I’ve sworn off all dating apps. They are totally not worth it. Plus the one time I did they deleted my profile. I guess they thought I was fake?  0 out of 10 would recommend.”

“Well, you are far too hot for your own good. Or for that app. How did I not know you were on a dating app.”