Recently Iāve been thinking about different components of sexual orientation, and how it is effectively formed of both internal identity and external behaviour. Itās interesting that, without a detailed conversation with other individuals, we can only assume their orientation and identity on the basis of their external behaviour, which is all that is visible to us.
For example, if someone is in a long term, committed, monogamous relationship with a member of the opposite sex, they are assumed to be straight, and their behaviour is interpreted as representative of heterosexuality. But they might be bisexual. If someone is in a long term, committed, monogamous relationship with a member of the same sex, they are assumed to be gay/lesbian, and their behaviour is interpreted as representative of homosexuality. But they might be bisexual.
In this context, what external behaviour could someone exhibit that would lead to the assumption they were bisexual, and therefore that their behaviour is representative of bisexuality? Theyād have to be engaging with the same sex and the opposite sex more or less simultaneously in order not to be assumed to be straight or gay/lesbian. How might that work?
They could be having regular sex with multiple people of both sexes (bisexuals are promiscuous, bisexuals are easy, bisexuals are sluts). They could be having multiple consecutive and short term relationships with people of both sexes (bisexuals canāt commit, bisexuals will leave you for a member of the other sex). They could be having sex with people of both sexes at the same time (bisexuals are kinky, bisexuals have group sex, bisexuals want to have threesomes all the time). They could have a committed relationship with a member of one sex, and affairs with members of the other sex (bisexuals CHEAT). They could be non-monogamous and having various relationships with members of both sexes (bisexuals canāt be satisfied with just one person).
So. In order for other people to recognise you as a bisexual person, you have to be engaging in some form of stigmatised and nonconforming sexual activity, all of which just happen to be typical stereotypes about bisexuality. The only way to be perceived as a bisexual person is to conform with bisexual stereotypes. A bisexual person who doesnāt conform to a single bisexual stereotype cannot be perceived as a bisexual person, and therefore cannot disprove or undermine those stereotypes in the mind of the person perceiving them. Because if they donāt conform to a single bisexual stereotype, they are perceived as heterosexual/homosexual, and their nice, conforming, virtuous behaviour is ascribed to that perceived monosexual identity. Even if they had previously exhibited bisexual behaviour (bisexuality is just a phase, theyāll eventually pick a side).
Alternatively, they could verbally assert their identity regularly enough to offset the assumptions others make on the basis of their behaviour (bisexuals are self-obsessed).
There is no way of being consistently perceived as a bisexual person, in the current landscape, without reinforcing bisexual stereotypes in the minds of those perceiving you, because if you donāt align with and reinforce those stereotypes you are unperceivable as a bisexual person.
yousharknotpass
romaincrisis
turnnoffyourmind
blakekathryn
