Okay, so I know this is blindingly obvious, but bear with me. Just a few thoughts ahead of Monaco.
It must actually be terrible being an F1 driver.
Okay, we have Charles arriving by yacht to the race;
we have Max being all sultry advertising stupidly priced watches,
But behind all that, the pressure must be intense.
The current perfect example of that is George of course - being overshadowed by a teenage talent, one that has been nurtured since he was pre-pubescent to be Max 2.0 - and not understanding why your driving skills, the skills that you have honed for 20 years are no longer serving you; you can’t seem to adapt to the new cars and it’s frustrating you and frightening you, because you only keep your seat if you win. And the rumours have it that Max is coming for that seat, and that must make you wake up at night. And every time you open your mouth to say something in answer to a question, half of the internet is there, ready to leap down your throat over your choice of words.
But then we have Max. A man who has proven again and again what an amazing talent he is; the face of F1, the man who has introduced a whole new audience to endurance racing; the epitome of the ‘verstappen effect’. But you hate the new regulations and you have been very vocal about it; your car is overweight and doesn’t drive properly; in that respect you’re in the same place as George; the skills you started to learn at the age of 3 no longer serve you. But you’re Max, you adapt and adjust and you drag that motherfucker into podium slots and grid places it has no right to be. But because you’re Max, people just expect it. The hate doesn’t stop. The pressure never ends if you’re at the top of the game. But maybe he is the luckiest of them all; he has his own team now, he takes part in endurance races and clearly loves to do it; he has people around him who obviously love him and will defend him. He has a family he loves and a daughter "who seems to like me a lot". Ironically, given the harshness of his upbringing, I think he is the most well adjusted, and will be okay.
And then Charles; poor, poor Charles. Il Predestinato. The Prince of Monaco. The Chosen One. The one who has given his life to Ferrari because of what he told his father before he died, and because of his beloved Jules, whose death quite literally saved his godson’s life. But the one who cannot get a break. He can pull it all out in qualifying; he can occasionally win, and it’s emotional and lovely, but he doesn’t seem to be able to take pressure; his veneer is paper thin. And he must wonder, sometimes, is it too late now? A whole generation is coming up behind him, ready to overtake him. Is he ever going to achieve his ambition, or is he doomed to always be “almost”? And then Ferrari bring in Lewis Hamilton and now, completely unexpectedly, Lewis has a late-career surge, vying for pole while Charles struggles into fourth or fifth. Does he ever wonder whether he really is as good as people believe, and how long the dream will hold.
They may all be wealthy, but I think an awful lot of them will always be disappointed.
may be shallow, but l am so glad Diego seems to have stopped slicking his hair back. I much prefer it in this messy, not behaving style that's going in right now
I've been thinking about the parallels between Cassian and Kleya. I'm going to make an edit about this, but for now, buckle in. This is going to be long as fuck.
Disclaimer: I have enough experience with people who are baffled by the way my brain makes sense of things, by the way I communicate, and by my values. I accept that people may disagree with me. What I am not okay with is being told that my take is somehow less valid or objectively incorrect, that the way I view the world, and therefore interpret art, can only exist as an aberration or result of my trauma, and I'm supposed to want to fix that so I can be more like you. Hard pass. The very idea that there is a right way to understand life is exactly the kind of idea I would expect some fans of this show in particular to perpetuate. I don't want to nitpick with you about Star Wars or what Tony Gilroy intended. I don't fucking care. I care about what this show is teaching me about myself, and I want to share those insights with others because they make me excited, even though I risk being misunderstood, rejected, condescended to, or ostracized. I do not want to debate with you. It is not fun for me or a necessary exercise I have to tolerate because I'm sharing my opinions publicly. I am essentially reading you my diary. Please keep that in mind if you want to engage.
Cassian spends almost the entire series trying to run away. Autonomy is vital to him because the most important choice of his childhood was made for him. Maarva knocks him unconscious to save him from almost certain death on Kenari. We know why she does it and that she doesn't have time to explain properly, but he doesn't. He's a boy who was just abducted from everything and everyone he ever knew, including his sister. Of course he just wants to find peace. He wants to return to the idealism of his childhood, a community of children making decisions for themselves. That was taken from him, and the idea that he's meant for something greater isn't a gift. It's a threat to that dream. He wants to be a boy in love, and if that means walking away from the fight, that's what that means.
But Cassian was always going to be doomed by the narrative because we know what happens to him. We know he has to die. I consider his story a tragedy. I don't think "kill me or take me in" is him choosing the cause. I think it's a man who's tired of being told by the universe that what he wants doesn't matter, and he finally gives up. The Empire has destroyed another one of his homes. He leaves behind a relative on Ferrix just like he did on Kenari. But it feels good to get back at them. It feels good to parrot Luthen and Nemik at the people he meets on his missions, to be a messenger. I think he's at peace knowing he can do both. He can have his community and fight when he's called for.
Losing Brasso puts him right back in that place of defeat where he clings to Bix even harder. The Empire's not going to take anyone else from him. The Rebellion can have everything except this love. That's not selfish. And if it is, then being selfish isn't a moral failing; it's human. The world around him may be waking up to the realities of the Empire, but he's been in this fight since he was six years old. I do not resonate with any take that labels him as some selfish guy who needs to learn to put others first. He's a child soldier who wants to come home to the woman he loves. That's incredibly reasonable actually. He doesn't want to choose, and he doesn't have to. Luthen insists that he does, so alright then, he will, and he chooses Bix. They find their way to Yavin probably because of her. The Rebels need him, but Cassian doesn't care. He's not here for them; he's here because it's where Bix wants to be. He's content.
Ghorman brings him back again. A frightened boy afraid to lose, afraid that the rise of the Empire will mean more choices being made for him. Of course the first thing he does is tell Bix he wants to leave. Of course he's done. He's reliving his trauma. Not just the losses but the imprisonment, the dehumanization, the violence. He went to Ghorman for justice and instead witnessed a genocide. And what has anyone ever told him except that he would have died on Kenari, that he's meant for something important, that this is bigger than him. Maybe that's not comforting, actually! Maybe that's exactly what he's so fucking scared of, that he's never actually been in control of his own life. Except he can't accept that when he remembers being in control of it on Kenari. The Empire strips so many of the galaxy's choices away. Maarva chooses for him because she knows better. The Force chooses for him because it knows better. Bix chooses for him.
I don't think Bix leaving makes him choose the Rebellion. I think it breaks him. I think that boy inside of him dies. I don't see him as a leader choosing to do the right thing. I see him as a beaten down dog who has to finally accept that the Force considers him a pawn in a larger game. That's exactly how the Empire treats people, but he's constantly being told it's different. If the Empire landing on Kenari is a death, Maarva abducting Cassian is a rebirth in that she chooses to transition him from one world into another. Ghorman is not a death. It scares him, and of course it fucking does. What Bix does by leaving him and killing his dream, that's the death.
Which is why it's so meaningful to me that Cassian chooses to save Kleya. It's not a choice he's coerced or talked into; in fact, it's very much the opposite. That's his rebirth, and this time, it's consensual! He's not acting from a place of survival or surrender but pure compassion. He's doing something he actually wants to do.
And who does he save? Kleya Marki
Kleya who hid in a strange ship, just like the one Cassian chose to wander into as a boy. He had choices then. He didn't know he was in danger, but he was acting on behalf of his community, investigating like a leader. Kleya is the opposite. She's hiding. She's fighting only for herself, for her very survival. She's already lost her community. Hiding isn't a choice; it's an instinct. The Empire arrives and brings her death just as they brought Cassian's.
Luthen offers her his hand, an inverse of what Maarva does to Cas. But can you really call that a choice? She's a terrified child whose whole family was just slaughtered. It's not a rebirth because going with him means she has to leave behind the part of her that's human. Kleya is a ghost that follows Luthen around motivated by the desire I don't even think she knows she has that she wants to be alive. She's working toward revenge because revenge is a feeling, but she doesn't get to hold it. When she gets close to her humanity and she's watching other people be executed, Luthen convinces her to remain detached. It's not safe for her to be alive with him because he's always going to tell her that the endgame is more important. Whereas Maarva brings Cas into her community, Luthen intentionally isolates Kleya from everyone but him. It's the only attachment she knows other than the family she probably doesn't let herself think about.
Luthen presents Kleya with a lot of choices, but those choices are an illusion because they are all founded on a dangerous grown up treating a terrified victimized child as an equal. So of course Cassian running pisses her off. Of course his desire to choose and be human is insulting to her. Part of her understands that she never had a choice, that if she's chosen anything, it's to align herself with Luthen, which requires a constant abandonment of her own humanity. She feels in the abstract. You can't do what she does on behalf of the galaxy without loving, but I don't think she loves people. I think she loves life and wants to protect it because she feels so dead inside.
So she kills Luthen. She is exactly what he made her to be. A flawless, emotionless soldier who does what needs to be done regardless of how she feels. And then he's gone, and she starts to lose it because the last time she was without him, she was a child hiding in a ship. This is literally the only emotional attachment we see her have throughout the entire show, even if it's one that grows around her pain. She accepts so easily that the jig is up, that she just has to get this message to someone. She's walking back and forth with a blaster in her hand because if the Empire gets there first, she knows what she has to do. But she's fucking scared because she knows this message is too important. She doesn't want Luthen to die for nothing. She doesn't want everything she's done to be a waste because that's exactly what it would be. And I think she's scared most of all because no part of her believes she's going to be rescued, and that means she'll never get to be alive again. And that's the part she's been keeping to herself. Save the galaxy. Fight the Empire. Because maybe if they win, she'll get to stop being a ghost. That makes everything worth it. If she fails, or, as she's accepting, if she saves the galaxy but has to die, then it wasn't worth it. Not in the way that matters, the only selfish thing she wants for herself. That's why she's breaking. That's why she doesn't want to die. Because the only thing that's been motivating Kleya is that she wants to live to see the sunrise, no matter how many times Luthen tells her she won't.
But then Cassian. Telling her he's not leaving her there. And she's so caught off guard. She's so vulnerable and scared. But he doesn't force her anywhere. He's not a threat. He's patient. He's giving her the choice he didn't get. He's giving her the humanity she's not expecting. He waits for her to agree. Then she gets knocked unconscious, just like Cassian was, but not by someone who convinces her they meant well, by the Empire, by the enemy. Melshi carries her to the ship, mirroring the shot of Maarva carrying Cassian on Kenari. Cassian and Melshi bring Kleya into her rebirth.
By choosing to save her, Cassian heals part of himself. He proves that his choices do have an impact and that he can trust his compassionate nature. He proves that he's competent and capable. He's a little boy following his intuition and walking into a threat so much bigger than him. Where Maarva disempowers him, establishing a pattern of passivity and running away, he empowers himself, takes deliberate action, and runs toward the danger. He heals the damage that that lack of choice caused by treating Kleya differently. He shows her that her choice matters in a way no one has done for him.
By choosing to go with him, Kleya heals part of herself. She is forced to confront the difference between Cassian's offer and Luthen's. Cassian's doesn't require her to sacrifice and carve away pieces of herself. It doesn't require her to overlook the fact that this person killed her entire family. Whereas Luthen made her feel like she'd always be chasing a sunrise, Cassian says "you can see the sunrise right now." But she still has to choose it, and that requires her to admit she wants what he's offering. She's a little girl scared for her life, choosing to take someone's hand not because she needs to but because she wants to. (I know that the Empire is on her tail, but I genuinely think Kleya would rather die than go to Yavin for most of that conversation because if Yavin is good it means Luthen was wrong, and her traumatized brain can't let Luthen be wrong yet; hence, it's not actually about survival.) By taking his hand, she proves that she can trust her own judgment, that all those times she wanted to act in the moment and was conditioned to silence that voice, she was right. She learns that safety doesn't require isolation and lonely hypervigilance.
Kassa becomes Cassian because of the Empire but comes home to him by saving Kleya. A nameless girl becomes Kleya because of the Empire but is guided home to herself when someone insists that she, not Kleya, is worth saving. (Also.. Kassa is pretty close to Kleya, ISN'T IT?) They literally healed each other's childhood trauma, and it couldn't have happened with anyone else. They are mirrors of each other.
And the difference between them? The saving factor in all of this is not something predestined. It's not that one of them is a great hero. It's not because they earned it. It's community. Cassian had community, regardless of whether what Maarva did was what he wanted. He had community on Kenari, and he had it on Ferrix. He had it with Bix and Brasso and Wilmon. "Stone and sky." He has it with K2 and Melshi. He even has it with Draven and Mon. That's what saves them both. Not the Force. Not the Jedi or the Rebels. Attachment. Connection. Kindness. Kinship. Love. Friends everywhere. That's the world Cassian brings Kleya into. And what's one of the first things that happens? Vel finds her stumbling around and offers her community. "You're here with friends."
Cassian may be doomed by the narrative to die, but he's already seen the sunrise. He wants to hold it in his hands the way he used to, but it always slips away. It sucks watching two seasons of the show knowing this guy is going to die and being told I'm supposed to find comfort in this greater good ideology. I don't. I think the idea that he can only be a hero by accepting his role as a sacrificial lamb is insulting. Cassian did so much good before he was a Rebel. He did so much good even when he was dragging his feet. He did so much good even while acting selfishly. His life matters, and he deserves to have a say over it. That doesn't make him less of a hero. But in the end, he doesn't have a choice over where he ends up. He has to die, and there's nothing he can do about it. He has to give up control completely to forces larger than himself, one final humiliation from destiny.
That's why I get so much comfort from Kleya's ending. She's a child soldier just like Cassian, a victim of the Empire who suffers not just from the state of the galaxy but from the actions of the adult most responsible for her. Unlike Cassian, however, she had no one else to turn to. Now, looking out over Yavin, she gets the gift of community from Cassian. She gets to stop chasing things and start holding them. She gets to see the sunrise he always wanted and the revenge she worked so hard for. She gets to be alive for both of them. All she needed to get there was someone to show her she was worthy of it right now, which gave her permission to admit she wanted it. Cassian chose to break free from his loop, and that empowered Kleya to do the same. He set himself free, and he waited with her until she chose freedom too. He gets to carry that knowledge to the end, and she gets to carry that moment forward for both of them. Cassian accepts that he can't run from something greater than himself and knowingly chooses to die for the galaxy, but Kleya chooses to embrace community for herself, chooses to live for herself. They switch places, but because they chose to come home to themselves, it's no longer a tragedy they have no say in. It's a story they wrote on accident until they began writing it on purpose. It's a rebellion against destiny itself. I consider it so meaningful that it transcends their reality and destroys any author's intent for them. Cassian essentially swindled god out of the narrative he wanted for him and said "I make my own decisions," and Kleya's smile at the end is the evidence of that victory.
A judiciously cropped photo can do wonders for my mental health. I may not like him but l can't deny that in this one thing at least, Antonelli has great taste
I love this confidence and this self-awareness, and the fact that he wasn't wrong! Also, pure racing, which he loves. Listening to the radio chat between him and GP in Canada is like some kind of physics lesson. Downshift here, press boost here, clip here... just let him survive in his natural habitat and he thrives!
Well l remember Max saying he doubted there would be any RB podiums this season because the car is so bad, so l will take this one and keep it somewhere safe. That was some cracking driving.
I wonder what would have happened to Melshi if he had never met Cassian. Would he have just kept going, part of the machine, and died a bitter man? Maybe even taking over from Kino in due course, although l can't see that. Melshi is a man of few words. Or would he have finally snapped, pushed too far, and died trying to take down a guard, unable to stand the unfairness of it all. I think the second. And he would have died so angry, knowing how futile it was, and believing nothing would ever change.
Meeting Cassian may have indirectly led to his death, but at least he wasn't alone, and he believed in Cassian. He believed in him so much.
Melshi is the everyman. He knew things were wrong, he just needed to be pointed in the right direction and then he would learn to run.
Max. This is a man who knows what matters. I know feel that not everyone likes his directness and honesty, but l find it refreshing.
On the lessons he hopes to pass on to Lily:
 “For me, the most important thing is: always be yourself. And as far as I’m concerned, she is free to decide for herself what she enjoys doing later on.
In addition, I think it is important to be kind to your family, and to sometimes stop and think that not everyone will be around forever. And to be compassionate, especially towards the people around you.
Max also explained why he wants to keep Lily away from the spotlight for now:
 “I don’t want her in the picture right now. She has to decide for herself later whether she wants that or not. That’s why I don’t want her in the paddock now.
Firstly, because she won’t remember it later anyway, but also with privacy in mind. A baby or young child should lead a carefree life.”
Also if you haven't been hypnotised by the video on You Tube of his night stint from last week, be prepared to not do anything for 2.5 hours:
Yes, some F1 and Max "fans" are being obnoxious, because people, others are really learning what endurance racing is all about. By the same token l think a lot of endurance fans are just learning what Max is all about... he's going full Mad Max and it's beautiful to see.
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