Daniel Kuhlman

Daniel Kuhlman - An American Expatriate in Europe

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Improving your English by moving abroad

Now that I have left the US I am struck by the personal changes that I am going through. The most noticeable is that I am speaking slower and choosing my words better. You would think that you go overseas and your English skills atrophy. Well let me explain.

Having grown up in New York City, I used to talk a mile a minute. But that didn't really serve me well even in the rest of the United States. In fact, one time I was talking to some one in Washington state. They didn't know where I was from but at some point in conversation they asked me. When I told them New York, they immediately replied that I needed to take a deep breath and slow down so they could understand me better. When I moved to the mid-west, I took some of that advice to heart.But that is another story.

Another habit I picked up through the years was using really big words. Hopefully, I was using them correctly. But I often ran into people who didn't know what the words meant and asked me to repeat myself without the superfluous verbiage (they didn't say it like that though). I once owned a t-shirt that had a great saying on it - Eschew Obfuscation. I thought it funny but not funny enough to stop using big words. So here is why I believe that my English is improving. Now that I live across the Atlantic, I find that many of the people I am talking to are not native English speakers. Imagine that! That's good and bad. The good part is that almost everyone over here speaks English. The bad part is that almost everyone wants to speak English with me and not French or Flemish. Hard to learn the native tongues when everyone wants to practice their English on me. So I speak English with almost everyone.

I have adopted new habits to help me get along a little better in my adopted country. I speak slower and choose my words more carefully. As a result, I have been told that I am very easy to understand. Much easier than some of my American counterparts and much of the English as well. This is a good thing. As a result of these changes, I feel as if my English is improving. I now have a better command of sentences and it makes it easier to get my thoughts across.

I also offer no more than one correction to my friends and colleagues English. Any more than that slows the conversation down and may risk causing offense. While one correction seems appreciated. But just noticing the error and correcting it is helping me too. I see where I need to make my sentences more precise.  I also have eliminated some contractions. I say I will instead of I'll and I would instead of I'd. Dropping the f* bomb seems less appropriate over here too.

The real test will be when I have to go to a conference or something back in the States. We will see if I can revert back to my old speech patterns. Maybe I will not want to...

[danielkuhlman]

US Expat Friends in Thailand

I am jumping ahead in the story here a little bit. We visited Thailand for three months and went on a four day, live aboard dive boat. Ironically the boat was loaded with Americans. Normally the boat is mostly German or British. Something to do with being closer to Europe than the US. One of the couples on board was Jane and John Estes. They were absolutely wonderful and invited us to stay with them before we left.

Well we spent a great week with them and we still communicate with them today. I can't wait for them to come to visit us in Europe. I am not sure if John will want to get away from diving the beautiful waters of the Gulf of Thailand, but a trip to the local pub and Belgian beer or two may just make him forget about diving for a while.

Anyway, Jane writes a blog http://johnandjaneinthailand.com and it's just loaded with pictures and cool stuff about their adopted home in Chomphon, Thailand. This is the kind of stuff that the average expat gets to see while the average American will only dream of doing and seeing what they experience. Follow her blog!

Daniel Kuhlman's son, Gustave, playing Rock, Paper, Scissors with John Estes on the live aboard boat in the Andaman Sea, Thailand

John and Jane Estes (center) having Thai dinner on board in the Andaman Sea with Gustave and Daniel Kuhlman (left)

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Daniel Kuhlman on Things to do Before You Leave (part 2)

Last time, I talked about what to do with your stuff when you are preparing to leave the US. Here's second part of that post. My take on what to see before you leave the US. Because, you never know when you are going to get back and for what reason. Family and business visits might get you to the West Coast, but you might not have time to see the really cool things out there.

Daniel Kuhlman stands in awe of the Space Shuttle Discovery.

Ground Zero. It's not impressive in what is there so much as what it symbolizes. The political discussion around why this site exists is topic for another blog. Just see it.

Ellis Island (it's okay to get off at Liberty Island except its just a big statue). This is where half my family came through and I think the place is such a testimonial to American generosity. The place shaped the US forever.

Smithsonian Air & Space. Sure the main museum is cool. The USS Enterprise NC-1701 from Star Trek is in the gift shop. But the real prize is 1 hour drive to the west of town. DON'T go around rush hour though. There you can see the Enola Gay, Space Shuttle Discovery and so many cool planes they have to mop up the drool after they close every day.

The Grand Canyon. Some say the other canyons, like Bryce and Zion are cooler but this is THE canyon.

Sequoia National Park, biggest trees in the world, OMG. Then drive up the coast to...

Redwood National Park, tallest trees. Not as cool as sequoia but still WOW.

Yellowstone National Park and the Grand Tetons - Forget old faithful, take a dip in the many natural hot springs. Buy a t-shirt in Jackson Hole.

Ski anywhere out west (if you are from the east). The snow is incomparable and the runs are super long.

Fall in New England. The colors are incredible and where ever else you go in the world, they just won't be the same.

The Mall in Washington DC. Everything is there. Make this a civic lesson so you know what you are leaving behind. Leave the politics out of it. The place is the center of American ideals. Take them with you but leave the rhetoric on American soil.

Travel by camper around the country. I did that with my dad in 1987. We drove a 1967 Chevy van 10,000 miles through 25 states and 2 Canadian Provinces. It took 90 days and we never hit an interstate (except in Idaho where I-90 is a one lane that is really just the old US route).

Daniel Kuhlman give his son, Gustave, a better view of Ground Zero.

There are so many other honorable mentions (other National Parks) and even things that you should do (listen to music on Beale Street). Pick the ones that make you happy. But the ones on top are things every American should do even if they don't leave (in my opinion)

Sure there are things we still want to do when we visit again. But we have hit the most important ones. We are now free to experience those "must" sees in the other countries around the world.

[danielkuhlman]

Daniel Kuhlman on Things to do Before you Leave

So you've made up your mind that it is time to move for whatever reason you decide is right. Maybe you have selected the location and maybe you haven't. We didn't select. We just said we are ready for something else but not sure where. We could move anywhere in the world. That thinking puts a whole different light on the move.

So there are two things to consider.

What are you going to do with your stuff?

Did you do everything on your American Bucket list because you may never get back? (for next blog)

Let's talk about your stuff this time. My advice: Jettison it. Get rid of it. Sell it. Throw it out. Give it away. Travel light! But all your precious stuff, you say!!! That's just it. It is just stuff. It is not you. It can be replaced. Scan the documents, upload photos to the web, burn music to digital, buy a Kindle for books. Doing this will also free your mind. It's very liberating. When we moved my father out of the place he had packed to the rafters, we got rid of everything. He said, "Wow, that feels really good!" Our culture says buy, accumulate, posses and collect. It is actually the opposite of what is good for us. Try it you might like it.

Daniel Kuhlman and Kristel Deckx held a yard sale until it was all gone!

Okay, so we did keep some things. But we put them in storage until we knew where we wanted to go. It didn't make sense to ship the stuff to Europe if we were going to be in South America. And shipping anywhere costs money. A 20' container from the US to Europe is $10,000 +. A 40' is even more and that is what most people would need to move their belongings.And shipping a car (unless it's a classic) is just plain stupid. The rules around getting a US car street legal in Europe are hard to navigate and then there are taxes in most circumstances. It was around $3,000 to ship a car but who know how much more to get it on the road. We bought a used Peugeot for 4,000 euros. Runs great.

We shipped 70 boxes in less than 1/2 a 20 footer. Sure it was just over $4,000 but it was the expensive stuff. We kept the art, mountain bikes, the All-Clad pots and pans, the Vita-Mix (required a 220-110 converter), the winter clothing. You have to weigh the cost of the move against the price to replace it. You can replace all the furniture when you get there. You can replace the appliances too. It just made sense. I've heard this from other expats too. Don't take it [all] with you!

This plus another 1/2 crate held just over 300 cubic feet of our "stuff".

[danielkuhlman]

On Leaving American Soil

Before you can actually leave somewhere you have to come to a decision about doing it. Why would you do it? Why not is also a good question.

To many Americans this story (if they ever read it) would have them asking why anyone would ever leave their country or in their minds, forsake their country. After all, we live(d) in the Greatest Country in the world, don’t we? Well let me tell you that I have not forsaken my country. I love the United States and recognize the unique position it holds in the world. I am a proud veteran of the US Army's 82nd Airborne Division with 29 military parachute jumps.

Many Americans would be surprised at the amount of Americans, and expats from other countries that live around the world for various reasons. Those same Americans would be surprised that these people could just as easily be their neighbors across the street from their comfortable suburban home. Not some tilted political wingnut refugee. These expats even look totally normal. And one would be surprised at the normalcy of the new life these expats have created in their adopted countries. Those American's would be surprised at how easily one can adapt to a new place and a new culture IF one has the right attitude. And one would be surprised at how easy it is to get homesick if one doesn't.

Personally, I grew up in New York City but, I have lived in six different US states and feel that this is a natural step. I am venturing beyond my own borders for another state (albeit in another country). I am certainly not leaving for political reasons as many expats would have you believe is the only true, legitimate reason. The reality is that all systems are flawed in one way or another and I would just be trading one flaw for another. Rather I am leaving the US to move on to something new and I am leaving for family reasons that make our choice seem logical.

Even as a youth, I have always wanted to live in Europe. The typical US immigrant I am 25% Russian, 25% Romanian, 25% German, 12.5% French and 12.5% English. The Eastern European side were late 19th century US immigrants but the Western European arrived on US soil between 1830 and 1860. So reconnecting to my roots makes sense at one level.

My wife is 100% Belgian (Flemish) and that makes our son 50% Belgian, 12.5% Russian, etc. We even chose an international name for him just so he could go about the world confidently. He has many strong namesakes behind him. Gustave Eiffel, Gustave Stickley, Gustav Klimt, Gustav Mahler, King Gustave from Sweden, even another Gustave Kuhlman who built rail cars in the early 20th century. We didn't Google his name before selecting it but I don't think it would have changed our minds. 

The world is becoming a much smaller place. Why limit yourself to just corner of the world. My French and Flemish aren't all that good right now, but with a little determination, I'll be fluent in both in no time. It will make me more marketable as a professional too. Not that that should be the main reason, but it doesn't hurt.

Daniel Kuhlman and his son Gustave Visit the Presidential Gallery at the Colorado State Capital just prior to leaving.

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So I was searching around to see what other expat blogs were out there and I came across this blog entry about American expat reporting laws. I had no idea about these but knew about double taxation. I understand the idea of renouncing citizenship but I am nowhere near ready for that. Besides, I'd have to have another citizenship before I did that.

[danielkuhlman]

On becoming an American expat in Europe

I’ve just spent the last 9 months traveling. We left Denver, Colorado for the East Coast of the US, then Belgium followed by Thailand and Cambodia, and finally the south of France for the off-season. Now traveling is just that but being an expat is something altogether different. Traveling implies that you are returning to your point of origin or that you keep going to different destinations. An expat on the other hand is someone who stays somewhere else rather than to return where he began, someone who stops traveling. With that said, I now declare myself an official expat. We’re moving to Brussels and Europe is my new and perhaps permanent home.

Sure we considered staying in the US. And we toyed with the idea of staying in Thailand. We met some wonderful expats there, the living is cheap and the sun is plentiful. But at the end of the day we decided that it was time to move on from the US and in Thailand there were some Western things we didn’t want to do without. We also entertained the idea of a life in South America, the Middle East and maybe New Zealand. We even played around with the fantasy about buying an Auberge and making a permanent life in the south of France but we just aren’t ready to retire. I still have a lot of productive work years in me and an intense drive to succeed. So it just seemed a natural fit for us to make Brussels our home. See, my wife and son are both Belgian and speak French and Flemish. And most important for me, there are a large number of English speaking companies there (my language skills are not yet as good as my 8 year old’s).

To some Americans, this idea of this story may seem somewhat romantic on first pass. In fact, I have always dreamed of living in Europe even before I met my European wife. And indeed, it is a bit romantic. The things I’ve seen and tasted so far are wonderful and we haven’t even seen 5% of what’s here.

To other Americans the idea of leaving the country they grew up in is just plain weird. My mother won’t even leave Manhattan in New York City nevertheless move to another country. Also, it is difficult to plan for and physically move yourself and your family halfway around the globe, especially with a seven year old. There are some fundamental differences that I’ll have to learn to get accustomed to, like the distinct lack of customer service in some places (but not everywhere). But I’ll go in to details on that later.

To Europeans, well I haven’t quite decided what the Europeans are going to think of me yet. I was in London and met some locals and they complained of the immigrants taking jobs away from them. I apologized for coming over to look for work and they said, “Oh, we didn’t mean, you Yanks”. I suppose the reaction will come from my ability to leave behind the worst of my Americanism yet retain the best parts that make me essentially me. I’ll just have to wait and see what they are going to say.

This story will take you through the process of leaving, traveling, thinking, trying, deciding and settling in. I’ll talk about some of the things I’ve learned that I wish someone else had taught me. I tell you to stay away from stuff like Andouillette (I thought it would be a sausage like the Cajun stuff in Louisiana but it turned out to be pig guts and stank to high heaven). And I'll share my insights along the way.

Kristel Deckx, Daniel Kuhlman and Gustave Kuhlman leave Colorado September, 2012

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