𝙣𝙤𝙩 ᵇʸ ᵗʰᵉ 𝓶𝓸𝓸𝓷

daniel choi jong hyuk. 22. napoleon. “I am tired. These people make me feel I have a hole in the middle of me.” — D.H. Lawrence

[danielschoi]

miralalbhai·:

Mira hadn’t seen Daniel since the night of the incident in the dining hall. She had glanced in his direction a couple of times during the destruction, observed him sipping champagne and laughing with Kellan, but her last real memory of him was the silence between them as she said the immortal words, ‘I thought you just wanted to be friends’. And sure, they may have parted agreeing to keep that friendship, awkward as it was, but she hadn’t as much had a text from him since. It was a two-way street, of course. She could’ve asked him to get a cup of coffee with her, or arranged a catch-up on the benches outside, or even just asked if he was okay following the investigation about the dining hall, and she hadn’t. Maybe it was her fault. Maybe as the offended party, it should’ve been him to offer the olive branch - who was to say? Either way, they were facing each other now, and it was uncomfortable, and she knew they both felt it as much as the other.

“Oh, I brought them with me.” She picked up the bag and shook it at him, rolling her eyes at his hesitation, although still smiling a little. “Come on, take one. It’s just a marshmallow. It won’t bite and neither will I.” Crossing her legs, she took a long sip of her drink, enjoying the burning of whatever it was at the back of her throat. They didn’t call it liquid courage for no reason. Patting the ground next to her, she offered another smile, this one even smaller than the last. “Sit with me,” she said, her voice weak. It was odd how much she had felt his absence, when his presence in her life had been so fleeting, but she did feel it. His warmth, his do-good attitude. Her smile faded, and her gaze turned imploring.

“Please. I’ve got more snacks.”

Daniel had spent a lot of time going back and forth over the events that took place the night of the supposed dinner party. Mostly the week after when students were being investigated--one of them being Florian and his guilt could have just eaten him alive-- but also because of the consequences of his actions, not only on his conscience, but on his friendships. He thought about Mira and how he really didn’t know what he wanted from her, and so was evidently glad, in a sense, that she decided for him. He’d spent a lot of time being confused with what he wanted, and by her taking his choice away, he found his answer. Daniel didn’t know how he felt about Mira, but the night of the dinner party gave him some clarity. Perhaps, he was only finding comfort in her company for he didn’t have to lie about being an Arsonist. 

 At the moment, however, he felt incredibly awkward, but he tried his best not to show it. It proved quite to be an ordeal with his drunken state, but Daniel tried. “Thanks,” he said, managing a friendly smile before bending forward to grab a handful of marshmallows. That didn’t seem too hygienic, but he doubted Florian would mind. He felt bad, and he sure as hell was worried about how badly she must think of his current state, and how he was being. But a part of him was also confused. She rejected him before he could even really think about what he wanted, and yet there she was, asking him to stay with her. He convinced himself that friends did that, but were they really friends? Daniel looked over his shoulder to the campfire where Florian was seated by, before looking at Mira once again. “I.. I can’t. Florian and I are waiting for Vera, and after what happened at the play--” He didn’t mention the dinner party, for he’d been trying to forget about it himself. “-- I promised I would make it up to her. And Florian. Who I’m here with.” A small chuckle escaped his lips and Daniel wished he could disappear. “It’s good to see you, though. It’s been a while.” He flashed a smile at her; the kind of easy smile that was always on Daniel’s lips whenever he was with other people.

[danielschoi]

veronicaparkk·:

open

Veronica had kept her distance from the festivities, partly because she hated Halloween in general, never one for facades and with a deep dislike for anything factitious. The other reason was that she didn’t feel safe in Astor like she used to. After what had happened last year and at the play this year, she felt there was something very wrong with the place of late, and rather than put on her detective lens and investigate it like she would have done if she was in second or even her third year, it seemed to much to get into right at the fag end of college. She just hoped to stay as far away from it and hoped none of her acquaintances were involved in any way. 

However, just because she hated Halloween didn’t mean she was going to miss Camp Night. She had been caught up in a discussion with her grandfather and father about a particularly puzzling case and the video call had lasted much longer than she would’ve thought. Glancing at the timestamp on her laptop she muttered “shoot” under her breath before quickly composing herself, her grandfather hated emotional displays of any sort. Quickly finishing the conversation, she glanced at herself in the mirror but she needn’t have - she looked immaculate as ever. Picking up a beret from the dresser she angled it perfectly before walking out of her dorm with a spring in her step.

The scene that greeted her at the campsite was utter chaos. There was a blazing fire catching up and chaos all around. She couldn’t see clearly through the smoke but panic gripped her heart like an eagle’s claw as she desperately looked for her friends in the chaos. She knew both Daniel and Florian must be here and she couldn’t help trembling as she made her way through the crowd trying to find them. Suddenly a hand grabbed her shoulder and she turned around shocked but almost laughed with relief when she saw the person’s face, “Oh, it’s you, fuck. You freaked me out!” Sighing, she furrowed her eyes as she shook her head, “I can’t believe this is happening again. Is this some sick joke? Are all the events this year cursed or something?”

The fires had caused so much chaos; students running here and there, some screaming off the top of their lungs, security trying and failing to control the crowd, the on-campus teaching staff stepping out of their lodges to see what was the causing the commotion, only to be forced to step aside by the running students. It was like a scene straight out of a movie and, losing his earlier inebriated state, Daniel simply stood for a while by the entrance of the infirmary as he watched it all, blinking at the havoc unfolding right in front of him. His instinct was telling him that this was no accident-- that so many things have happened on the Academy for this to be an accident--, but the fact that he hadn’t received any red envelopes recently made him doubt those instincts. Surely, this couldn’t be the work of the Arsonists? Yes, the whole thing had their trademark-- public event, an even more public spectacle-- but he hadn’t gotten any orders from Dante, and even if he had, he would never have done something like this. Unless.... There was a thought gnawing on the back of his head, and he tried his best not to entertain it. It couldn’t be. Unless, it could be?

Finally, as if only now gaining the ability to move, he began to mobilize, one leg moving after the other. At first, he was walking, then he was almost running, frantically looking around for Florian or Vera or both, praying to God that neither of them had been injured in the fire. He tried his best to suppress his panic, and it worked for the most part, but as he saw one of the students wailing on the side with a terrible burn on his arm, he felt his stomach drop, and he couldn’t help but think of how if this was all the doing of someone in the group-- perhaps someone who’d gone rogue, or was given an individual task--, he wouldn’t know how to handle it. Terrorizing students was one thing, but causing serious injuries was another. Daniel shook his head of the thought and resumed walking, straining his neck to find his two best friends in the crowd. He let out a breath of relief he didn’t even know he’d been holding when he finally saw one of the people he’d been looking for and he rushed to her, and grabbed her shoulder without even thinking.

“Vera!” he exclaimed, eyes wide and panting, as if he’d just ran a marathon, which he very well could have with how he was feeling. Daniel was so relieved to see that she was safe and not one of the students who were having injuries tended that he almost hugged her, but found himself unable to as more students pushed past them. He took her arm and led her away from the crowd, only stopping when they weren’t surrounding by so much chaos. Placing his hands on both her shoulders, Daniel inspected her, hoping she was alright. “Are you okay? Were you hurt?” 

[danielschoi]

Date: October 26,2019 Location: Astor grounds Availability: Closed | @hcneydspite​

Chaos ensued as fire began to rapidly spread around the grounds for Astor’s camp night, one tent after another catching flame as students ran around, trying to get away and to get to safety. Daniel had been standing away from the tents, by one of the bonfires in his search for food, but he saw the commotion, and he saw some of the students trip and fall as they ran, and some screaming as their clothes caught fire. It was enough to sober Daniel up, and it was just as well, for the chaos caused Mira, who was right next to Daniel when the fires began, to fall on her wrist and injure it, and he quickly took her to the nurse’s office where all of the others who had sustained injuries were gathered, and left as soon as she was settled in search for Florian and Vera. In the middle of the ruckus, he completely lost Florian and he only hoped both him and Vera were okay. 

He began his search for his two best friends, trying to stay calm as he wondered where they were. He also couldn’t shake the thought that there was something else going on that evening, because the fire spread too much too fast for it to be an accident. Just as he was thinking about how this couldn’t have been the fault of the Arsonists-- they hadn’t gotten any red envelopes recently, after all-- his gaze landed on a familiar face and he sighed in relief when he saw that she was visibly alright. Still, he couldn’t have helped but asked. “Maggie!” He ran towards her. “Are you okay? You weren’t injured or anything, were you?”

[danielschoi]

miralalbhai·:

Date: 26 October, 2019 Time: Evening Location: Forest, campsite

OPEN | @astorstarter·

There we a few campfires burning in the forest, some smaller than others. Typically, Mira had managed to find herself a free one on the outskirts of all the fun - close enough that she could observe everyone else, but far enough away that she wasn’t likely to be bothered. A camping event was not exactly her usual scene, but when her choice was between getting tipsy by a fire and writing an essay on the history of political philosophy, tipsiness would win out every time. As long as nobody started singing kumbaya, she’d be okay.

And actually, she was having a good time, although that could perhaps be attributed to the fact that she hadn’t spoken to anyone thus far. She was quite content there on the sidelines, warming by the flames after an ill-advised swim in the lake, with a book on her lap and a red solo cup filled with some sort of alcoholic concoction in her hand; a bag with snacks and an extra jumper at her feet. Some music students sat nearby, plucking at an acoustic guitar and singing an old song by a band she couldn’t remember the name of. She hummed along lightly, plucking a marshmallow from her bag and skewering it on a stick before thrusting it into the fire.

As she did so, she became very aware of someone watching her. Raising her head ever-so slightly, her gaze scanned her surroundings before her eyes met another’s. Mira stopped humming, silent for a moment as she decided whether or not she could handle company, before finally speaking.

“You can have one, if you want,” she said, tilting her chin towards the marshmallows. “They’re vegan.”

He thought he was just drinking orange juice, but Daniel began to wonder if that was still correct as his vision began to blur and his head felt heavy. He’d spent most part of the evening drinking the beverage, sitting by the fire with Florian as they waited for Vera, feeling considerably fine before he decided he needed some food and stood up, causing the world to spin around him. He barely understood what Florian asked him as he began to walk, only assuming the question was ‘Are you alright?’ as he gave a vague answer, hoping it translated to ‘yes, I’m fine’. Daniel continued on his quest to find food, but his movements were groggy, and he could feel that his cheeks had gotten considerably warmer than they were minutes ago. His inebriated brain finally came to the conclusion that it was, in fact, not just orange juice, and he’d been drinking it every now and then for over an hour now. He groaned at the realization; the last thing he wanted was to spend camp night drunk and tripping on his own feet. 

He greeted some people he knew as he looked for food. Some raised their brows at his overly eager salutations, while others simply took it for friendly and dependable Daniel being just that; he doubted anyone realized he was a little too tipsy, and they all simply just.. let him do whatever it was that he was doing. He stopped for a moment, resting against a nearby tree as he cursed whoever it was that decided to mix alcohol with the orange juice, before looking around some more, hoping to find some food. When his gaze landed on a bag of marshmallows, he was about to ask the person right next to it where she’d gotten it from before she spoke, and her voice made Daniel straighten up. It wasn’t enough to sober Daniel up, but close to it. “Um,” He looked from the bag of the marshmallows to Mira then back again, not wanting to meet the other’s gaze. Really, he should be running the opposite direction, but wouldn’t that just be rude? “I probably shouldn’t. But.. where did you get those from, if you don’t mind me asking?”

[danielschoi]

veronicaparkk​:

Seeing his forlorn face, Vera couldn’t help but extend an hand to pat his shoulder. She had thought this would be an all-out war where she would pour out the bitterness that had been festering within her for the past week, but she had felt it slowly dissipate and get replaced by a feeling of longing. As if she wanted to get this over with as soon as she could so that they could go back to being how they had been all their lives. It wasn’t as if she didn’t feel bad at being ignored that day anymore, but hearing the earnestness in Daniel’s voice made her heart wrench - it was as if she had somehow ended up getting ignored because it was her fault. Her fault for not figuring out sooner that something was wrong. Her fault for not paying enough attention.

As he talked about the night, her eyes threatened to well up with tears but she restrained herself with tremendous willpower. She hadn’t seen him like this since he had lost his mother. If she thought about it carefully, that was the time when things went south. From friends who shared every little thing with each other, they had graduated into a strange limbo - where on the surface they were friends as close as ever, meeting every other day for lunch and partying till the wee hours whenever they felt like, but there was a sense of unease. As if something had gone horribly wrong but they were too scared to talk about it - as if talking about it would make it somehow real and they’d rather live in their Eden of belonging crafted from childhood memories where nothing ever went wrong. If she was honest with herself, the first instance of not being completely honest was her fault. The time when they were 14 and she had called Daniel to pick her up from the last protest she was ever a part of, she hadn’t known how to talk about it. She didn’t know how to explain what had happened to her so she had ignored it, simply stating she had had a fight with some of them. Difference of ideology, she’d said. She didn’t know if Daniel had believed her then, but she knew for a fact that she didn’t believe him now. There was something else, maybe something with his father that he wasn’t telling her about but for the life of her she couldn’t figure out what it was. Sure, Mr. Choi had never been particularly warm, she had noticed that right from their childhood, but it had never mattered, his mum was the nicest person Vera had ever met and she still felt it was her death that Daniel had still not been able to process. It was all conjecture of course. It helped to keep her mind racing so she wouldn’t blame herself completely for their downfall.

She shook her head furiously, “You never have to pretend with us, Daniel. You should’ve just told us and none of us would’ve attended that play. It was trash anyway,” She tried to lighten the mood a little, but it was a half-hearted attempt that fell flat. She clasped his face in her hands and looked at him minutely, “But darling you don’t need to. You don’t need to handle this all on your own, you know that right?” Shaking her curls furiously she said, “No no, stop saying sorry. I am sorry that I didn’t realise this sooner. I should’ve talked to you, I should’ve known something was wrong.” Once again her eyes started stinging but this time she couldn’t bear to hold it back. A single tear fell on her sleeve as she hastily hugged him, hoping he hadn’t seen anything, “Hey, hey,” she said softly, “That was all just talk. You’re never going to lose me. I won’t let you.” She stroked his head gently, feeling his head on her shoulder made her inexplicably happy for some reason. She felt a strange surge of joy she hadn’t felt in weeks she couldn’t help smiling a little as she said, “Still, you do have to make it up to Florian and me, you know. We are not going to let you off easy!” But she quickly snapped back. Pulling back slightly, she looked at him seriously, “You can tell me what’s wrong in your own time Daniel, nothing you could ever say would make me love you less. Ever.”

A small weak laugh fell from Daniel’s lips at Vera’s attempt to lighten the situation, and he felt so overwhelmed with both gratitude and guilt that his vision began to blur as tears welled in his eyes. Leave it to Vera to try and make him feel better after what he did to her. So many times, people had teased him about his closeness to Vera. He always wondered why they never questioned his closeness to Florian when the differences between the two was as noticeable as the blue in the sky, and people always suggested that there was something more between him and Vera-- something other than a lifetime of friendship and unconditional, unwavering love. His grandfather had suggested once when he was about thirteen or fourteen that Vera would make a good match for him. She came from a good family, after all, and he had known Vera’s grandfather for a very long time, too. Daniel thought the comment was ridiculous, never once considering the girl who he always regarded with so much fondness to be someone he would want for a wife-- then again, at thirteen, Daniel didn’t have thoughts about who or what he wanted for a wife. It wasn’t years later until he understood what everyone was saying. When her smiles began to incite a foreign feeling in his chest; when long, phone calls ending made him miss her terribly; when he was always longing to see her whenever they were apart. His feelings for her had grown into something else, but it didn’t take too long for him to realize she didn’t feel the same. He should have been heartbroken, but Daniel was content with loving Vera the way he loved her, and if he could do that for the rest of his life without the fear of losing her, then he didn’t see a need to let her in on how he really felt. Which was why he was so, so terrified of losing her. She was the one constant in his life, and with so very little of that, he always clung to her desperately.

He leaned in to her touch, his right hand gently touching hers on his cheek. It should have comforted him that she was forgiving him now, and as Daniel met her gaze through cloudy vision, he wanted to break down and tell her about the truth about his father, about being an Arsonist-- all of it. And the fact that he couldn’t... “No, it’s not your fault, Vera. It’s mine. You-- You’ve always been the best out of all of us. I’m sorry.” I’m sorry I’m weak, he thought but didn’t have the courage to say; simply embraced her as he swallowed a sob that threatened to escape from his lips. He found it was useless to fight the tears, however, as they spilled anyway, running down his cheeks as he held onto her. After the death of his mother, and what with his father being the way that he was, Daniel began to depend on his two best friends even more than before without him even realizing it. But after the truth that his father dropped on his lap like a bomb, destroying what he thought was his life without him being able to do anything about it, he began to question so many things-- including who he was, and he was so afraid of finding out and losing Florian and Vera in the process. So began his living in constant denial; in pretending that everything was fine. But hiding the truth had its way of messing up Daniel’s life, even if he tried to hold it together. His innate want to belong became even stronger, and his life became an even bigger mess before he knew it. He wanted to tell Vera all of that, but didn’t know how, so he simply held tighter, only pulling back when she did.

Daniel used the sleeve of his sweater to wipe his tear-stained cheek-- never one to be afraid to cry in front of the person who’d seen him break down over the death of his mother-- and chuckled softly once again, nodding his head as he said, “I’ll do what it takes, I promise.” Daniel looked at her, and as he met her gaze, his chest felt heavy at the sight of her glistening eyes. He touched her cheek gently, thumb moving over the stain her tear had left. “I’ll do better by you,” he said, his voice quiet. “Things will be better, I promise. We’ll have that grand time in college that we always talk about.” She shouldn’t be crying for him, or because of him. She deserved better than that-- than him. And yet, Daniel would be damned before he would ever think of giving Vera up. 

[lavenderbyun]

[danielschoi]

its-isla·:

There’s an expression that appears on the boy’s face that Isla can’t quite identify. It’s only there for a second, a blink and you would miss it moment, but it is enough to momentarily distract her from why she’d initially come there. The nervousness in his voice adds to her curiosity, to her concern. She doesn’t let this show on her face, however, schooled enough in remaining calm and composed from the hours of photo ops she’s sat through in her life. If the topic isn’t one that he is comfortable with, she won’t push him. Treat others as you would like to be treated, and all of that.

Isla leans into his words, nodding her head thoughtfully. “Yeah, volunteering would probably work.” Volunteering was a good way to sway people to think you were a giving person, that you genuinely enjoyed dedicating your time to something that often didn’t even benefit you. Or at least, that was the view that her father held, one that didn’t sit right with Isla. She enjoyed volunteering, enjoyed her time spent at the local library giving tours to the school children that would come in on their trips. What her father saw as a photo op and good PR, Isla simply saw as spreading kindness. Looking over at Daniel, who was sat on the bed and had thoughtfulness clear on his face, she offers a small smile. “I haven’t heard anything about a booth, but I suppose I could speak with our department head. Thank you for the suggestions, Daniel,” she replies, at a momentary loss for how to complete Reese’s dare. “I really appreciate it.”

He finally managed a smile, waving his hand in a dismissive manner as he said, “It’s really no worry.” Daniel couldn’t help but wonder why she had come to him. Sure, he did a lot of volunteering-- mostly so that people wouldn’t have anything negative to say about him in that front--, but he also knew Isla to be the kind of person who would do the same thing, but without any ulterior motives. “I’m sure anyone with a project you decide to help out would be grateful for your service,” he said to her, lips tugged upwards in a genuine smile. “Hey, maybe you can even rescue me from doing the kissing booth for the science department. I know a lot more people would line up to kiss you than me.” He paused for a moment, thinking about what he had just said, and a small, nervous chuckle fell from his lips. Daniel didn’t realize until that moment how anxious he really was about the kissing booth.

“If I may ask,” he said, wondering how to phrase his question without seeming rude. But he was curious, and Daniel often let curiosity get the best of him. And he figured Isla wasn’t the type to think him rude if he voiced the question that was in his head. “Why did you ask me? I mean, I know I do volunteer sometimes, but...” he pursed his lips, thinking about the best way to say his query. “.. I’m sure you could have thought of the solution to your problem on your own. Not that I’m not glad to be of help, because I am.”

[quotemadness]

“I’m caught between trying to live my life, and trying to run from it.”

— Stephen Chbosky (via quotemadness)

[danielschoi]

Date: October 26, 2019 Location: Forest, Camp Night Availability: Open | @astorstarter​

Camp Night was the last place Daniel wanted to be at that evening. He wasn't in the best mood and, to add to that, there was a ringing in his ear that was caused by a barely unbearable headache. No, he really didn't want to be at that camp. What he wanted to do was stay in his room, watch a movie he'd already watched in the hopes that it'll help him get some sleep. But, alas, that couldn't be. He'd given his commitment to a friend in the Business department who was one of the people who organized the whole Camp Night that he would help out, and Daniel being Daniel, he couldn't go back on his word. If he did, what would that say about him? So there he was, standing by the bonfire, some sort of juice in the red solo cup he had in his hand. He texted both Florian and Vera in the hopes that they, too, would show up, but at that moment, he was by his lonesome. He didn't even really notice the person next to him as he thought out loud, "They sure are enjoying themselves," referring to one of the groups by one of the tents, laughing a little too loudly for Daniel's liking.

[maximura]

[hcneydspite]

availability: open @astorstarter​

location: somewhere by the infamous kissing booth

maggie stood with a grin on her face, standing a ways back from several of the booths. there was something about the month of october that she absolutely adored. it could have been the fact that none of her other siblings enjoyed the holiday at all, leaving it to be hers alone, or it could be that sometimes spooky things were fun. turning to face the person next to her, maggie beamed at them, a small laugh bubbling up. “okay, but a kissing booth is actually kind of genius. i will not be paying for anything or participating, but it’s not a bad idea.” she emphasizes, the smile still on her face, finger pointed into the air for emphasis. “i think the best idea i had was like a dunk tank but i can’t imagine wanting to be in water right now.”

[danielschoi]

If it had been anyone else who had asked, Daniel would have said no, --well, perhaps not right away; he would try to find a way out of it, anyhow, without it seeming like he was not willing to help out for a good cause-- but it had been Kellan, and Daniel just couldn’t decline. Kissing booths definitely weren’t his thing, but there he was, standing beside Kellan, knots in his stomach at the anticipation of the opening of their attraction. Thankfully, a familiar voice distracted him from his thoughts that were running eighty miles per hour, and he chuckled at the suggestion of a dunk tank. Now that he would have preferred. Kissing people for a buck, even for a good cause, just made his palms sweaty. “That is actually a great idea, Mags,” he said, turning to face the other. “Now, I wish you would have told me that before they finalized the events for All Hallows’ Fest. I can’t say I’m too excited about kissing the student body.” If anyone even lined up for him. He was certain people were only excited about the kissing booth when they heard Kellan’s involvement in it.

[danielschoi]

miralalbhai‌:

“Ah yes, Florian. I knew it was something like that.” She smiled. “You should know by now I’m hardly tuned in to the goings on of you high society kids.” Mira did know Florian, at least by sight, but she was too proud to admit that she was actually pretty aware of the lives of the rich and famous, if only from the sidelines and in a strictly nosy sense. Although really, it wasn’t her fault that no one seemed to notice her and she often ended up overhearing a lot of the popular people’s gossip. People should really be more careful about where they held their conversations.

The expression on his face as he mentally drifted to his hometown was like that of someone talking about a person they loved very much. There was something very genuine about the look in his eyes - it was possibly the most genuine reaction she had seen from him. She felt so disconnected from people and places and everything in between, it made her wonder if she would ever look like that when thinking about somewhere, or something, or someone. “Sounds amazing,” she said gently, hesitant to ruin the moment for him. “If there’s any ever spare room on your private jet then count me in. And if you ever want a tour of Philadelphia then I could do the same for you, although I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it.”

“So this year, with the Arsonists and stuff… it’s not going to be awkward, is it? I mean -” She gestured between the two of them awkwardly. “We’re good, right? This is okay.”

High society... The words almost made Daniel snort, but he doubled back and thought of how ridiculous he would look if he snorted. “I’d hardly call us high society,” he replied, but as he thought about it, the more ridiculous it sounded. Not that Daniel was one that gave a lot of thought about social class-- his head was usually too filled with thoughts about his father, his guilt, his friends that he never really made anything of it. He inhaled, and focused his gaze once again on the lake. In his peripheral view, he could see the freshmen splashing each other, and Daniel wondered, momentarily, if none of them felt cold. “Isn’t it ten in the evening,” he spoke his thoughts out loud. “I bet you ten bucks half of them will get sick by tomorrow.” There was a hint of disapproval in his tone, and he had half a mind to tell the students what they were asking for by swimming in the lake at that time of the evening. But he didn’t. Instead, he silently hoped his predictions would be incorrect.

He opened his mouth to answer, to tell her that it was his grandparents who owned a private jet and not him, and how he liked to fly commercial, but closed it as quickly as he realized that she was teasing him. Daniel chuckled, and shook his head. “I’ll see if we can squeeze you in,” he replied. Her inquiry made him take a pause, mulling her words over in his head. They’ve managed to behave around each other pretty well so far-- if you asked Daniel-- and he was always good at putting on a face, whatever that face may have to be. “Yes, of course,” he responded easily, smiling at her. “It was just one night. Why wouldn’t we be good, right?” One drunken night, Daniel thought but didn’t say. One drunken night where he was too pissed at his father to even care about what other people thought of him. One drunken night that he let the mask he usually wore slip off. And he felt a bit anxious about whether or not he was going to regret what he did.

[wordsthat-speak]

“So you attempt to hide your loneliness in public, to behave, in fact, as though you have too many friends already, and thus you hope to attract people who will unwittingly save you. But it never works that way. Your condition is written all over your face, in the hunch of your shoulders, in the hollowness of your laugh. You fool no one.”

— David Murosek

[danielschoi]

andidrewrose·:

The sounds of their surroundings, coffee-making and name-shouting employees, customers’ conversations and phone calls; it wouldn’t be an ideal environnement in which some students would want to work, to study, to think comfortably. People often like silence. Andrew appreciated silence, mostly to clean his head when headaches would start to come back, and also for the quiet, the little sounds that went unnoticed when there was too much noise and that he could finally focus on. But silence could also be a bitch, it always let him alone with his thoughts, and Andrew hated those thoughts. That’s why he felt safer and more secure in noisy environnements. He was used to working with noise around him. Plus, this meeting with Daniel was a first draft of the work he will be rewriting later in his room. 

Daniel’s comment on their stimulus class made Andrew pout. “I’m sure you do.” he said, tilting his head a little to his side. “Or if you really don’t, I can explain it to you and I’m sure you’ll get it. In reality, it’s quite simple, it follows a pattern.” he told him before sipping from his beverage and listening to Daniel’s idea for his paper. “That’s also a good plan.” he commented. “Though, personally I would feel lost and wouldn’t know what to talk about if the topic were this large…” It was good that the two of them didn’t have the same methods of doing things. Andrew had found himself more than once enlightened by Daniel’s way of thinking about a subject. This could only help them in their work.

Daniel placed his cup of coffee back on the table after taking a sip and flashed Andrew a grateful smile. “You don’t have to do that-- I know you have a ton on your plate, too,” he said, as he closed his folder and took out his laptop from his bag, eager to begin writing. He wanted to finish the things that he could easily tackle because later on, he would have to spend his entire night drawing for one of his courses. And he wasn’t looking forward to that. Who knew being a pre-med student also required you to be good at art? Luckily, he was good enough at it that he didn’t struggle, but that was one of the things that he really didn’t like about his course. “Besides, this can’t be your only school work for the day? I heard from some of the students that the Science department professors seem to really have it out for their students with the work load and all.” His words were followed by a chuckle.

He turned on his computer and opened Google Docs, wanting to get started, but as he stared at the screen, he found he couldn’t focus. And his mind was really coming up blank. Daniel cleared his throat and placed his arms across his chest, leaning back on his seat. “Did you have a good time at the play?” He couldn’t help but ask. Daniel didn’t see Andrew that evening, but he was certain he must have been there. Everyone was there after all, except perhaps the Arsonists. He tried not to think about that now as he sat there, talking to his friend. “Did you go with anyone?”

[danielschoi]

floriandeschamps‌:

Although he was definitely ruffled by the interrogation that had occurred in the morning, Florian did his best to deter it from dampening his mood. The accusation was rather far-fetched as far as he was concerned, and nothing linked him to the incident. And if it so happened that something did, it would hold no significant weight on his conscience since he truly was innocent. Florian tried to reassure himself with these thoughts, which had been swimming in his head since he left the Headmaster’s office.

Daniel had texted him, he presumed, immediately after the news reached him. It was so like Daniel to be concerned, especially when it came to academic matters. Which, in Florian’s case, almost always was. Daniel rarely sought him out to have a go at him though; he was just a listening ear, who occasionally wanted to know about the clever details or would put in his two cents. The scolding was usually care of Vera. Florian saw Daniel right away upon entering the doors of the cafe. He smiled brightly to his friend then strode to his table, whistling a lively tune as he did. 

“It’s all in a day’s work, Daniel, my friend,” he shrugged, greeting Daniel with a gentle squeeze of his shoulder. He positioned himself across from the other boy and placed both elbows on the table, his fingers interlocked. He shook his head with a soft, ironic chuckle. “I wish I knew. Seems like they’re just taking shots in the dark. I wonder what it’s like to have dependable people running the school!” he remarked despairingly, loud enough for the customers nearby to turn their heads in his direction. He simply winked at them. 

He regarded Daniel then with a faint curiosity. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in a while, Daniel. Been busy, I assume?”

Perhaps the worst thing about all this was the fact that Daniel knew Florian wouldn’t be angry with him-- he wouldn’t know to be angry with him. Because just like Vera, Daniel had been hiding his involvement with the Arsonists from Florian, and at first it was because of some unspoken rule, the whole ‘you do not talk about fight club’ of it all, but eventually, because of the nature of the tasks, he knew he couldn’t say anything. There was a part of him that believed his friendship with Florian was strong enough that even if he decided to tell him, he would understand. But now, after everything that has happened, he was beginning to feel a small amount of fear that the other wouldn’t. Still, sitting there, and having his friend regard him in the usual way that he did, made him feel incredibly guilty.

Daniel chuckled softly at his friend’s remark, placing in front of him the drink that he’d order for him. “Chai latte, right?” He leaned back once again, hands clasped together on his lap. He thought of how lucky he was to be friends with both him and Vera, and how grateful he was for having them in his life. He thought of the many times they stood by him, and was afraid that if they knew everything, he would lose that forever. Daniel cleared his throat and sat up right. “So what are they thinking of doing about this whole thing? Do you know?” he asked, wanting to know what he could expect. 

He flashed his friend an apologetic smile. Daniel felt guilty for not catching up with them at the play, and even though he tried to find them, he couldn’t help the sense of relief he felt when he didn’t. He didn’t want to spend the entire evening lying to them. “A bit, yes. I’m already behind on schoolwork. Vera’s mad at me, isn’t she?”

[danielschoi]

veronicaparkk‌:

Vera and Daniel’s friendship had never been casual. From the moment they had become friends, they had known that there was a instant connection that came from a place of deep instinctiveness, almost as if they had recognised something in each other that the world hadn’t yet. Vera, no matter how hot headed, always calmed down when treated to Daniel’s gentle warmth and affection. In all these years, especially after they became friends with Florian, it had felt like this connection had multiplied. She had really believed that. But now she realised, that it was more likely that it had dimmed. In the flurry of activity, of their impossibly complex lives, they had forgotten the simple pleasure of telling each other all their stories and laughing at the world in a way only two people perfectly in sync could.

It hurt her to look at him directly, his beloved face looked so small, woeful that it broke her heart. But Vera had never been one to wear her heart on her sleeve. His looked so guilty that a less stubborn person would’ve hugged him in an instant, it was just a party, it’s okay - they would say. And though for a split second Vera did think of just forgiving him, after all it would mean the end of the sinking feeling of loneliness she seemed to carry within her all the time these days, she brushed away the thoughts. No, now was not the time to be emotional, she needed some solid answers to put her racing mind at rest. She knew he was being honest when he said he wasn’t tired of her. She blew a raspberry looking at him sharply as she plopped herself on his bed, in a rather undignified manner, very uncharacteristic for Veronica. But she had never had time for graces around Daniel anyway.

“What is it then?” she spat, a little more emphatically than she intended, “What are these things that are going on and why the hell do I not know about them?” Her heart went cold when he mentioned his father. Her eyes widened, “A fight? It’s never just a fight with you father Daniel, who are you kidding?” She suddenly felt the pit in her stomach twisting in knots. Was she the one to blame? In her haste to top senior year and indulge unprecedentedly so that she had no regrets when college got over, had she ignored her friend so much that she had failed to notice that something was horribly wrong? Did he find her presence so lacking that he had had to share his plight with others? Did such a vast distance really loom between them and she was only just realising it? The creased lines on her forehead had eased and a shadow of concern loomed over her face, “I… Daniel, what’s wrong? Are you okay? What… what did he do?” 

The possibility of losing the one person he valued over anyone else became too real all of a sudden that Daniel inhaled sharply and bit his lip, the threat of tears filling his eyes making them sting that he looked up and focused on the light on the ceiling to prevent them from falling down his cheeks. The heaviness he felt, and the lump in his throat that he tried to swallow past were the result of the culmination of everything that he’d been feeling that whole week, and the weeks prior, really; the guilt over having to lie to his best friends, the deafening silence that saw him out before leaving his home in D.C., the longing for his mother that he couldn’t help but feel when he was in his grandparents’ home, and the fear that he was gonna lose Vera. He was already regretting everything that he did as an Arsonist, but perhaps, the distance he was unknowingly placing between him and his closest friends was the one he regretted the most.

Daniel took the wooden chair by his table and placed it in front of Vera, plopping himself down so he was now sitting in front of her, gaze still averted, hands clasped in between his legs. He felt as if his heart was being ripped out of his chest at every word, and at the realization that his actions were dismissive of the many years they spent together. And that was the last thing that Daniel would ever have wanted to do. “It wasn't my intention to flake on you and Florian. I just couldn't-- It was just... easier to pretend with other people, Vera. And I can handle these things-- I can. And you know I usually do. Just that night...” At least he wasn't being completely dishonest, but that did little to console him. “I didn’t want you or Florian to see that something was bothering me-- that I wasn’t okay.” He managed to fool himself into thinking that he was doing this for her, but in the back of his mind, he knew it was mostly for him. He felt even guiltier at the look of concern on her face-- somehow, it was easier to look her in the eye when she was angry, because he knew he deserved it. “But I’m okay. It’s okay now, and I’m just sorry. I really am. Please forgive me.” he said, taking her hands in his.

Daniel thought about everything that had happened-- everything that had caused him to hurt her like this. He never wanted to be the cause of her pain, ever again. Ever since he began to care for her, there was very little he wasn't willing to sacrifice for Vera. Even his own feelings for her, at one point, just so that he wouldn’t lose her. “I promise you, nothing like this will ever happen again--” he didn’t know that it wouldn’t, but he knew that he would do his damn best to make sure it won’t. “--and I’ll make it up to you. To you and Florian. If you’ll let me." Daniel’s voice caught at the last word, and he met her gaze, almost pleading, her hands still clasped in his. "I don’t ever want to lose you, Vera. I'm so scared I'll lose you.” 

[danielschoi]

If you could trade lives with anyone in the world, who would it be?

“Is it going to be like Freaky Friday style or would I have this person’s life as me?” He’s overthinking the question, he knows this, but he can’t help it. “If it’s the former then maybe Florian. I’d like to know how it feels to be that tall. If it’s the latter...” he scratches his chin in thought. “Maybe John Mulaney. I’d like to be that funny.”