On her desk was a dozen red roses. On her face was a scowl that would make even the roses refuse to bloom. “Those are beautiful” he commented trying to hide his curiosity and just a twinge of jealousy.
“You want them? You can have them!” she hissed. “I don’t want them! They are going in the garbage…. Seriously, take them home to your wife. Someone should get some enjoyment out of them.”
His eyes locked on her filling with concern over what was bothering his friend. His mind a flurry of questions and his heart ached to make her happy again. But he knew her, and he knew this was not the time to ask what was going on, but instead leave her to sort things out first. He would wait for her to go to lunch later and try to get some answers then. He tried to make eye contact to let her know he was there when she wanted to talk, but she kept her focus on her work.
“Are you sure?” he asked a final time as he reached for the bundle on the corner of her desk just inches away from her garbage can. Her eyes filled with tears when she met his concerned gaze. She couldn’t even get out a response, she simply picked up the flowers and handed them to him before rushing off to the bathroom to cry alone.
He returned to his desk placing the flowers in the corner to take home to the Mrs. His mind filled with anxiety and questions. He checked for a card that might explain the situation. It would not be good if the Mrs found it and realized he was giving her recycled flowers. He dug deep, but there was nothing to shed any light as to what had upset her so and why the flowers had shown up.
Poor Bastard, he thought, that stupid boyfriend of hers REALLY screwed up this time. She was not someone he would ever want mad at him. This must have been a big one to warrant such a strong reaction. Even HE knew it would take more than flowers to get her forgiveness and he had no idea what that even was.
He watched the clock the rest of the morning, distracted with thoughts of her and the troubles that had her so upset. When the time came for her lunch break he strolled past the lunchroom to confirm she was inside and that nobody else was around. She was there alone, as usual, eating her lunch and appeared to be entranced in her book, but he knew she was just faking it. He often found her this way and usually would give her a gentle tease about eating with all of her friends, but today was not the day for teasing.
“Hey” he said as he hesitantly approached, unsure if he should broach the subject for fear the tears would start streaming again. He hated to see her cry. He felt so utterly helpless and he didn’t like that feeling at all.
She looked up surprised to find someone standing next to her. She had been lost in thought and not really reading the book but instead attempting to use it as a distraction. “Oh hey” she replied half-hearted and went back to eating.
“In the mood for company” he asked as he reached out to the adjoining chair.
“Sure” she sighed as she closed her book “just don’t ask me what’s wrong okay”. The scowl on her face had returned but this time the anger was hiding behind a mask of conformity but he could still see the sadness was in her eyes.
“Ok” he replied, trying to hide his worry and frustration over not being able to fix it. He made some small talk as they proceeded to eat their lunches and finally he couldn’t take it any longer he had to ask. “So why don’t you like to get flowers?”
She looked him right in the eye as she fought back the tears that threatened to fall. He was her friend. She could trust him. She took the mask off and shared the real her with him.
“I do like to get flowers, but not ‘Fuck up Flowers’, and definitely NOT Red Roses. You can find those in any gas station or street corner between here and there!” She waved her arms about for emphasis. ” I want flowers just because… NOT because you did something wrong… Not because a holiday says you should… Not because you WANT something from me…”
The frown on her face softened and a dreamy look came over her eyes as she turned her attention from him and stared outside the window fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall.
“I want to get flowers just because he was thinking about me…I want him to take time to show me he knows the real me… I want him to make some effort, not just pick up a phone and rattle off a credit card number…. Even dandelions would have been better, at least he would have had to actually go out and PICK those…”
When she looked back from the window into his eyes, she realized she was dumping on her friend and making him feel helpless. She put the mask back on and said barely above a whisper. “I guess I’m asking too much”.The subject was dropped and they finished their lunch.
Weeks had gone by and the boyfriend was now just a memory. Everyday it was just another day at the office and she wore her mask consistently. Pasting on a smile and hiding the loneliness she felt inside.
It was just an ordinary day and she once again found flowers on her desk. She opened the package and found the card.
~ Pink is your favorite color
~ Dandelions are not in season
The mask fell away and a genuine smile filled her face, her heart and her soul.
(c) ~ Dani’s Writings~ 2012