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@daniswritings
I know you are in there.
The real you.
The one you don’t show anyone else.
You come out when you feel safe
If I could just reach you
pull you out of the darkness
Bring you into the light
show you the possibilities
If I could just keep you there
laughing, feeling safe, loved and beautiful
If I could give that to you always
you wouldn’t keep disappearing
slipping away from me
as you hide from the world
But I know you are in there
So I will keep trying
~ Dani’s Writings (2017)
Life travels…
It’s the curves and forks in the road of life that define us. It’s the not knowing what is around that corner that keeps us moving forward and scares us just the same. We can’t take these corners too fast, or we could lose control. We need to decide carefully which road to take, or we could end up on the completely wrong path for us. However, being stuck at a crossroads of indecision or sidelined by fear of moving forward is not traveling through life. It’s watching life pass you by. Sometimes, we do need to slow down. Sometimes, we do need to hold our breath and close our eyes for just a moment. Sometimes, we need reflect on our travels and the people we met along the way. Sometimes, we need to remind ourselves of who we are and where we want to be. Sometimes, we just need to get past our fears and gather the strength to keep going. We need to remind ourselves we have to keep moving forward. Even if it scares us. Even if it means you might end up on a path you didn’t plan on traveling. Even if it means heartache from leaving behind a world or people you know and love. We need the changes to grow. We need the rush of adrenaline to make us feel alive. We need to combat our fears, regrets and indecision. We need to just push forward and start down the road again. The future is just around the corner. So don’t let yourself be sidelined with fear and indecision. Keep moving forward and enjoy the journey… wherever it may take you. ~ Dani’s Writings (2015)
This is the truth
I like being tall.
I like the view from this perch. I like when she looks up. I like how she looks when she looks up. I like a finger under her chin, the tilt, a hand slipped round her waist, and her body pressed close. I like that soft clutch.
I like the size disparity; it opens doors, offers options, introduces the lessons of physics, on a large and a small scale.
With her in my shadow, things can be moved, just so. Lifted. Thrown. Pried, pulled, folded. Arranged. Things can be aligned to suit, and I like that. I like that very much.
I like being tall, except when I get the fucking middle seat.
[Please do not remove the text from this post. Thank you]
I like being small.
I like the view from down here.
I like when they look down at me like I am something dainty that they have to handle carefully and protect.
I like feeling tiny against their big frame as they pull me in.
I like the helpless feeling as they take control.
I like that they remind themselves to be gentle because I’m fragile.
Yes, I like being small.
~ Dani’s writings - 2015 ~
Just out of reach
Dancing in the darkness
Taunting her grasp
She needed the light
The warmth that comes with it
She reaches in desperation
If she could only bring back the light
The darkness would retreat again.
~ Dani’s Writings ~ 2014
Why is it you no longer express yourself with words?
The time is not there for me to put my thoughts down anymore. I hope to be back again someday.
It’s time…
To let go of the old,
~ And embrace the new
It’s time…
To stop making excuses,
~ And start making changes
It’s time…
To let go of your past,
~ And make a brighter future
It’s time…
To leave what is comfortable and familiar,
~ And explore new worlds and new things
It’s time…
To trust your courage, your strength,
~ And believe in yourself
It’s time…
To spread your wings,
AND FLY!
~ Dani’s Writings ~ 2014
She waits…
For the warm breeze
For the longer days
For the birds to sing
For the flowers to bloom
For the earth on her skin
For the quiet moments again
She waits…. for her lover…. spring.
~ Dani’s Writings ~ 2014
There was something about the look in her eyes. Ken couldn’t be sure but he had the feeling his friends wife was flirting with him. She laughed at his jokes and listened intently to his stories. She held eye contact with him like she was talking without saying a word. She was constantly touching his hand or arm. But it was that look in her eyes that just drew him in wanting to know more about what thoughts were behind those eyes. He shook it off and took another drink of his beer.
Ken watched her with his friend, he could see the love in their eyes. He enjoyed the way they openly flirted with each other and clearly enjoyed the public displays of affection. Her hand seemed to always be on Mark even when her attention seemed to be on him…. It must be the traveling and being away from my wife. It must be the beers we’ve been having. It must be just my imagination. He was having a great time and he had no intention ruining the evening.
When she started to openly flirt not only with Mark but with HIM there was no mistaking it. She was indeed flirting. He glanced at his friend to be sure he wasn’t agitated with the shift in her attention. His friend was grinning from ear to ear. “Don’t mind Dani, she doesn’t get out much”
“Are you kidding? I haven’t had a beautiful girl flirt with me in years. I clearly don’t get out much either”
She smiled at the “beautiful girl” comment and reached for his hand. “I like him… can we take him home?”
The comment startled him a little, but stimulated his imagination just the same. They laughed and continued on with the banter. When she excused herself to use the restroom they both watched her walk away smiling to themselves. When she was out of earshot he couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“Doesn’t that bother you?”
“What?Having a hot wife?”
“No, the hot wife openly flirting with other men”
“Let me ask you this. You like your job right?”
“I love my job but what does that have to do with it?”
“Just listen. So you are paid well for your job, and recognized for your contributions. Told you do a good job and feel rewarded and appreciated correct?”
“Well yeah, I wouldn’t be there if I didn’t”
“So if another company came up and told you the same things; that you were talented and sought after, that they wanted to hire you… would you leave?”
“It would have to be a serious increase in benefits for me to jump ship at this point in my life. My company keeps me pretty happy and I have really good benefits. I don’t want to risk making a change like that at my age. But it still feels good to know I’m marketable and wanted.”
“Exactly”
“Exactly what? I still don’t understand what my job has to do with your wife”
“I can tell her she is beautiful and sexy and desirable all day long. But she thinks I’m biased. However someone else saying the same exact thing will make her happy and feel wanted. We all want to be wanted, it’s just human nature. It doesn’t matter if it’s in work or in play. We want to be the one everyone wants. The trick is to keep them, employees or wives, wanting YOU too.”
“I think I understand.”
“Ken, I love my wife and she loves me. Our marriage is good and we are more in love now than ever. There is just something about another man noticing her, thinking she’s all the things I KNOW she is, that makes her feel amazing. I want her to have that feeling always and forever. And trust me, when SHE feels good there are definite benefits for me”
“So… you are okay with this, with me flirting with her and all the banter?”
“Are you kidding? I welcome it!!!! I KNOW who she’s going home with and trust me, she will be so excited from the evening we may not even get out of the parking lot before she jumps me”
“Lucky bastard”
“Don’t I know it.”
With that Dani returned looking more beautiful than ever. Ken couldn’t help but look at her differently now. He watched her move back into her seat, noticing the grab she gave her husband as she slid past him and the smile Mark gave her as she did. This time there was no holding back. Game on.
~ (c) Dani’s Writings ~ 2013
Still there
On the darkest of nights…
During the terrible storms…
When all hope is lost…
No future in sight…
You are still there.
Shining through the darkness…
A glimmer of hope …
The dawn of a new day…
A gentle reminder…
This too will pass.
(c) ~ Dani’s Writings (2013)
my gift of silence by Jacques Vartabedian
Spring…
And when the flowers finally bloom
I will lie naked in the midst of them
For there I am one with the world
Their perfume fills the air
The wind whispers in my ears
“Dance for me”
The tiny dancers that surround me
respond accordingly
with each bow and dip
Their petals caress my skin
Together we turn our faces to the sun
Giving thanks…. spring has finally come
(c) ~ Dani’s Writings ~ 2013
Summer Sensations…
Walking barefoot on the open ground
~ the cool earth kissing my feet with each step
Feeling the sun on my skin
~ caressing and warming my body
Hearing the wind whisper in my ear
~ telling me secrets never told before
I just have to close my eyes and remember
~ the summer sensations… they get me through my winter blues
(c) ~ Dani’s Writings ~ 2013
Haunted…
She was there again
A dark shadow in the mist
His beautiful ghost
A haunting image
Memories of the past
He couldn’t let go
He clung to those times
When she would come to him
Holding her close
Soaking her in
Until darkness would take her again
(c) ~ Dani’s Writings ~ 2013
The muse …
Without you….
~ the words don’t come
Without you…
~ my writings have no meaning
Without you….
~ it’s a jumbled mix of letters
Without you…
~ the page may as well be blank
Without you …
~ my mind is filled with chaos.
It’s just not the same…. without you.
© ~ Dani’s Writings~2013
Tug of War
I’m tired….
Of playing this game…
This battle for control…
The give and take…
The push and pull…
I draw my line…
Determined not to budge…
You just pull harder…
Until a new line is drawn….
I’m just so tired….
It’s time to let go…game over.
(c) ~ Dani’s Writings~ 2012
Tension is
~ trying to be who other people think you should be.
Relaxation is
~ just accepting who you really are and not caring what people think
~ Dani Wisdom~
Shadows…
The sun shines in…
Warming her body…
Healing her heart…
Touching her soul…
Her shadow is cast…
A constant reminder…
Darkness is always there…
Never to let her go…
Completely into the sun…
(c) ~ Dani’s Writings~ 2012
Just because…
On her desk was a dozen red roses. On her face was a scowl that would make even the roses refuse to bloom. “Those are beautiful” he commented trying to hide his curiosity and just a twinge of jealousy.
“You want them? You can have them!” she hissed. “I don’t want them! They are going in the garbage…. Seriously, take them home to your wife. Someone should get some enjoyment out of them.”
His eyes locked on her filling with concern over what was bothering his friend. His mind a flurry of questions and his heart ached to make her happy again. But he knew her, and he knew this was not the time to ask what was going on, but instead leave her to sort things out first. He would wait for her to go to lunch later and try to get some answers then. He tried to make eye contact to let her know he was there when she wanted to talk, but she kept her focus on her work.
“Are you sure?” he asked a final time as he reached for the bundle on the corner of her desk just inches away from her garbage can. Her eyes filled with tears when she met his concerned gaze. She couldn’t even get out a response, she simply picked up the flowers and handed them to him before rushing off to the bathroom to cry alone.
He returned to his desk placing the flowers in the corner to take home to the Mrs. His mind filled with anxiety and questions. He checked for a card that might explain the situation. It would not be good if the Mrs found it and realized he was giving her recycled flowers. He dug deep, but there was nothing to shed any light as to what had upset her so and why the flowers had shown up.
Poor Bastard, he thought, that stupid boyfriend of hers REALLY screwed up this time. She was not someone he would ever want mad at him. This must have been a big one to warrant such a strong reaction. Even HE knew it would take more than flowers to get her forgiveness and he had no idea what that even was.
He watched the clock the rest of the morning, distracted with thoughts of her and the troubles that had her so upset. When the time came for her lunch break he strolled past the lunchroom to confirm she was inside and that nobody else was around. She was there alone, as usual, eating her lunch and appeared to be entranced in her book, but he knew she was just faking it. He often found her this way and usually would give her a gentle tease about eating with all of her friends, but today was not the day for teasing.
“Hey” he said as he hesitantly approached, unsure if he should broach the subject for fear the tears would start streaming again. He hated to see her cry. He felt so utterly helpless and he didn’t like that feeling at all.
She looked up surprised to find someone standing next to her. She had been lost in thought and not really reading the book but instead attempting to use it as a distraction. “Oh hey” she replied half-hearted and went back to eating.
“In the mood for company” he asked as he reached out to the adjoining chair.
“Sure” she sighed as she closed her book “just don’t ask me what’s wrong okay”. The scowl on her face had returned but this time the anger was hiding behind a mask of conformity but he could still see the sadness was in her eyes.
“Ok” he replied, trying to hide his worry and frustration over not being able to fix it. He made some small talk as they proceeded to eat their lunches and finally he couldn’t take it any longer he had to ask. “So why don’t you like to get flowers?”
She looked him right in the eye as she fought back the tears that threatened to fall. He was her friend. She could trust him. She took the mask off and shared the real her with him.
“I do like to get flowers, but not ‘Fuck up Flowers’, and definitely NOT Red Roses. You can find those in any gas station or street corner between here and there!” She waved her arms about for emphasis. ” I want flowers just because… NOT because you did something wrong… Not because a holiday says you should… Not because you WANT something from me…”
The frown on her face softened and a dreamy look came over her eyes as she turned her attention from him and stared outside the window fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall.
“I want to get flowers just because he was thinking about me…I want him to take time to show me he knows the real me… I want him to make some effort, not just pick up a phone and rattle off a credit card number…. Even dandelions would have been better, at least he would have had to actually go out and PICK those…”
When she looked back from the window into his eyes, she realized she was dumping on her friend and making him feel helpless. She put the mask back on and said barely above a whisper. “I guess I’m asking too much”.The subject was dropped and they finished their lunch.
Weeks had gone by and the boyfriend was now just a memory. Everyday it was just another day at the office and she wore her mask consistently. Pasting on a smile and hiding the loneliness she felt inside.
It was just an ordinary day and she once again found flowers on her desk. She opened the package and found the card.
Just because…
~ I am thinking of you
Just because…
~ It’s Tuesday
Just because…
~ Pink is your favorite color
Just because…
~ Dandelions are not in season
Just because…
~ You are my friend
Just because…
~ I miss your smile
The mask fell away and a genuine smile filled her face, her heart and her soul.
(c) ~ Dani’s Writings~ 2012
