what happened the first time Wes tried to crack open the Danny is Phantom conspiracy did he like, confront Danny first or was it all behind his back like, maybe hoping ground zero would be lost among the gossip and that Danny wouldn't find out who spilled the beans once everyone knew
I mean it obviously wouldn't work because nobody believed him and the gossip didn't take off very far beyond a few people talking about Wes being kinda weird
I should absolutely write a fic about this.
I am absolutely going to write a fic about this.
I AM RIGHT NOW GOING TO WRITE A FIC ABOUT THIS.
"Hey Fenton! Fenton!!" Dash came bounding over and threw a meaty arm around his shoulder.
"Jesus Dash! What?!" Danny buckled under the weight (pretended to anyway) as Dash gave him a surprisingly lighthearted punch on the arm.
"You haven't heard?! Wes has this total batshit insane theory, it's hilarious!"
Dash was in a genuine giggle-fit, Danny didn't think he'd ever seen him this merry, he was also starting to suspect he was going to leave this conversation being the butt of the joke somehow. Wait-
"Wes? Who the heck is Wes?" Danny asked, it wasn't like he knew everyone in school, like Dash seemed to.
"He's on the basketball team, you know, tall guy, red hair, threw a sick move at least month's game! You know, WES!"
"I didn't watch that game."
"Oh," said Dash, flatly, "Oh yeah, almost forgot you're a total nerd. Anyway, like I was saying!"
Dash grabbed Danny by the shoulders and nearly lifted him off the floor.
"Wes thinks," he could barely speak through his giggling, he even snorted a few times, "Wes thinks your secretly PHANTOM."
Dash dropped Danny back down as he doubled over laughing.
"Could you imagine?! You! You're not even DEAD!" Dash honest to god slapped his knee in mirth.
Danny went through an incredibly swift array of emotions in the span of about five seconds.
The first was fear, clear and bracing, then came confusion, how did he know? Had he seen something? Then there was hope, Dash didn't believe it, and if DASH didn't believe it, maybe nobody else believed it either. Then relief, he could roll with this, he could TOTALLY roll with this! Dash was right! It was absurd, it was ridiculous, it was hilarious, him being Phantom? What utter nonsense!
Sam and Tucker had been standing by his side at a Dash-safe distance, looking absolutely horrified. Sam looked ready to jump in and lay down a swift defence, but Danny gave a quick little low wave for her to stand down. He got this.
"Oh my god SERIOUSLY?" Danny busted out a slightly hysterical laugh, okay so he wasn't completely over the initial terrified anxiety.
"How could I- I mean what- WHY does he think I'M Phantom?! I mean how does that even work I don't-"
Dash clapped him on the shoulder, this was probably the most contact he'd ever had with him without being physically assaulted.
"I know right?! Like apparently he thinks you look alike? And he's all like 'But I've seen his eyes glow green' and 'they're never in the same roo-hoo-hoom." Dash wheezed and started hacking and coughing.
Danny carefully constructed a look of offence.
"Hey I mean, it's not THAT funny. Why couldn't I be Phantom! I know how to use a Fenton Thermos! Look I even HAVE one right-" he torn open his backpack and pulled one out, making sure to fumble it in a terrific display of fuck-uppery and drop it noisily on the cafeteria floor, he dropped to his knees trying to grab it but knocked it under a table.
A few girls standing nearby who'd been listening in started tittering, one of the guys sitting at the table snorted milk through his nose and Dash was just about on the floor in hysterics.
Even Sam and Tucker covered their mouths in an attempt to look like they were holding in laughter. Tucker muttered to Sam, just loud enough for people around to hear.
"I mean, he's our friend and we love him, but god that was painful to watch. He knows he's terrible at ghost hunting! He's got like, nothing but thumbs."
Danny climbed under the table, grabbed at the thermos and lifted it up as he crawled back out.
"See! See! I have a thermos! I could TOTALLY be Phantom!"
Sam walked over and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "It's okay bud, I think you'd be a great Phantom." her voice was thick with her usual sarcasm, soaked in pity though it were.
Danny's ears burned in embarrassment, he might have been humiliating himself on purpose, but it was still humiliating, watching everyone laugh at him for being so weak and incompetent. He was grateful to his friends for pushing through their discomfort and keeping up the act, it was still painful, but it came with a wash of pure unadulterated relief.
Nobody believed this Wes guy, nobody thought it could be even remotely possible. People would talk about it for a little while, have a laugh, maybe there would be a few memes and in-jokes, but eventually it would drop off. People would forget all about it and it would be just another notch on the gossip mill belt.
Even if someone DID believe it, they could never admit it for fear of vicious ridicule, for once in his life peer pressure was his friend.
Once Danny saw him he realised that he did recognise Wes, he'd seen him hanging around Kwan a few times, and chatting with Star, he was also in Danny's english class. That was about as familiar as he got with the guy, they'd never spoken a word to each other.
Wes had a terrifying expression of seething fury ripping across his face. He was glaring at Dash.
Dash was completely unable to stand, it was honestly overkill, Danny almost thought he was hamming it up on purpose, but maybe not, his face was turning an alarming shade of red after all.
"Wes don-" Dash gasped. "Don't do this to me man, I can't brea-" Dash was gasping for air, trying desperately to hold down the giggles.
Danny could almost see steam rising as Wes seethed. Then suddenly that furious stare was shooting daggers straight at him. Danny shrank into himself, looking as small and helpless as he possibly could.
"Uh hey Wes, um, I've heard the news." he joked tacking on a nervous laugh for emphasis. "Uh, soooo," he tossed the thermos from hand to hand, nearly dropping it again. "Is this like, just a joke or do you really-?"
Dash continued to wheeze, Kwan was holding him up by the arm, muttering about getting some water to cool off.
Wes strode over until he and Danny were face to face, he was taller by a good couple inches, even more so with Danny making a conscious effort to appear small.
Wes jabbed a sharp finger into his collarbone.
"Don't think I'm fooled by this pathetic act you've got going on, I am ONTO you, Phantom." he spat.
Danny glanced sidelong at the table beside him, silently begging for assistance, they only watched in silence, strained faces trying not to laugh. A glance the other way to his friends, they simply shrugged.
"Um, okaaay," Danny started backing away slowly. "Uh look Wes I am honestly really flattered but, do we really look that alike?" Danny ran a hand through his hair and then pointed up at Wes. "I mean we BOTH kinda have Phantom's haircut."
Sam deadpanned from the sidelines, "Maybe they're BOTH Phantom."
"We should start marketing that haircut." Tucker muttered to himself, tapping something on his tablet. "We could make a fortune, are you any good at hairdressing?"
Sam shot him a look of disgust and did not dignify the question with a response.
"Don't play dumb you two," said Wes, flipping his focus, "You're definitely in on this!"
The entire cafeteria was awash with giggles by this point. Just about everyone had heard about Wes' theory, but were mostly convinced it was some kinda joke. Now? Now they knew Wes was straight up fucking delusional.
He glanced around as people laughed, at him. At HIM.
"It's not funny!" he yelled over the crowed, the tittering increased in volume. Someone across the room yelled-
"Hey if I get the haircut, can I be Phantom too?"
One of the goths stood up on her seat.
"I've GOT the haircut! Mom says it's MY TURN to be the Phantom!"
There was a fresh round of mirthful laughter, some kids wheezing as hard as Dash had been. Another few kids piped up above the cacophony, throwing jokes of their own.
"I've got a soup thermos so I'm Phantom now, sorry sweaty I don't make the rules."
"If I wear a Phantom shirt does that make me Phantom ALL the time or am I only Phantom when I'm wearing it?"
"I have an ass, Phantom has an ass. Conclusion: I am Phantom's ass."
"Tag yourself I'm the thermos."
Wes had been trying to scream over the din, infuriated, desperate to find SOMEONE who would listen.
Danny gave him a pat on the back.
"Hey, if it makes you feel any better, The Guys in White once hunted some guy down because he had white hair, if a government agency can fuck that up then-"
It wasn't a particularly solid punch like Dash's hits, it was quick and precise, Was wasn't a brawny guy, but he was lean and fast and had good aim.
Danny whuffed out a heavy breath as Wes' fist collided with his sternum and he collapsed to the floor.
Everyone in the cafeteria lost their shit, a few people screamed and one table of football jocks all stood up chanting, "FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT."
Tucker ran over to him as Sam stepped up and without hesitation slammed a fist straight into Wes' nose.
The footballers lost their minds, one of the goths stood up on their table screaming "REPRESEEENT!!"
Wes backed up immediately, crying out from the sharp pain blossoming across his face, he'd never been hit before and couldn't pull his thoughts together quick enough to throw a punch back at her, so he was taken by surprise once again as Sam placed a solid roundhouse kick to his stomach.
He had certainly not been expecting that kind of brute strength from her, she had incapacitated him swiftly and effectively, barely having broken a sweat.
One of his teammates hollered over the crowd and came barrelling down on the goth, she dodged without batting an eye and darted nimbly out of the way, giving the guy a quick kick in the pants to throw him off balance as she rocketed for the cafeteria door.
As Wes took a deep breath through his mouth, his nose dripping blood, he realised that Danny and Tucker were gone. The fight had lasted only seconds but Sam had run distraction well enough for the boys to take off without anyone noticing, a glance around showed Tucker supporting Danny about to exit through the cafeteria doors.
The doors opened to an out of breath Mr Lancer on the other side.
"'The Light Fantastic!' WHAT is going on here?!"
Oh they were all so fucked.
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