clown on clown violence moodboard
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Jules of Nature
Three Goblin Art

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Kiana Khansmith

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izzy's playlists!

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Discoholic 🪩
cherry valley forever
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Janaina Medeiros
noise dept.

★

Andulka
Peter Solarz

pixel skylines
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Xuebing Du

seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Argentina
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Argentina
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@dankmemesfordankteens
clown on clown violence moodboard
i saw you brushing your teeth last night and you looked like this 😬😬😬😬😬 the whole time, it was fucking embarrassing
No Good Man or Beast (Chapter 2)
The captured dragon’s white-hot terror melted into dread. The dull feeling sent blood rushing to his ears, partially from fear and partially from the humiliation of now being leashed to some strange winged madman who seemed to have a knack for dramatic flair. Ess didn't flinch or show any emotion, but his eyes seemed to fade from that enchanting silver to cold, dull steel. After a moment of too-much hand shaking, Ess pulled his hand away and wiped it onto his pants, "Where are you going to take me?"
Zane noticed the little motion but decided to ignore it, turning on one foot and looking up at the sky. "Now that I have a dragon...we are going to pay the humans a little visit. His wings began to slowly unfurl once more.
“A war weapon, of course,” Ess grumbled, glancing at the ruins of his village before stepping back and shifting to his dragon form. He was hesitant; was the price of his freedom worth the senseless violence to come? ‘Don’t think like that, Ess. You saved your people. Besides, who cares if a few humans die? They’re horrid creatures anyway, no better than bugs.’ The dragon’s thoughts were interrupted as Zane took off into the air, the ground below his paws shaking slightly from the force of the god’s scarlet wings. ‘What a showoff.’ Ess thought, rolling his eyes before taking off after him.
The flight wasn’t very long, but Ess dreaded every moment of it. He stared at Zane as he followed in his wake, wondering just briefly if he could kill him. ‘No, I’ve made my choice. I should stick to it. Besides, if I fail, that means my entire species dies and their blood is on my hands,’ He let out an exasperated puff of steam. As he mulled and planned and pondered killing his subduer, he was quickly drawn out of his thoughts as a small village, tucked neatly in a valley between two hills, came into their line of sight.
Banking his wings, the god landed in the tall, green sweetgrass that rolled down the hill and crouched down. Resting his forearms on his knees, he peered down at the village and started to observe its traits. Humans, for a reason unknown to him, seemed to exist in different time periods from each other. He never knew what to expect when he found one of their habitats; some of them were so advanced that their vehicles soared through the air as if they were birds, and others, like this one, seemed to be stuck in a strange suburban era. Women walked around in little kitten heels and flared yellow dresses with gaudy white polka dots while men carried around briefcases filled with who-knew-what. Narrowing his eyes and biting his lip, Zane pressed his armored fist to the ground to stabilize himself as Ess landed behind him. He tapped the ground twice before looking at his newly acquired companion, “How many humans have you killed?"
The dragon himself seemed to be quite out of it, not answering for a moment as he watched children play in their yards and fathers come home from work. ‘What does he want with these creatures?’ He wondered, the corners of his lion-like mouth turned down in a slight frown. Zane realized Ess vaguely reminded him of a Fu Dog. A dawn-pink, blue-maned Fu Dog with pale grey eyes that burned with life and fury. What an odd creature he’d found. Finally, he spoke, his voice hardly above a murmur: “None.”
Nodding solemnly, Zane turned his gaze back to the village. They still hadn’t been spotted. "Well, good luck. I have been watching these humans for a while, they seem to be more advanced than some of the others."
Ignoring his warning, Ess began panting softly before looking over at Zane and beginning to plead his case. “Do I have to kill them? I agreed to stay by your side but I never swore my body to your beck and call.”
Zane raised a red eyebrow and smirked. "Only if you don't want to die." The amusement vanished from his face as he turned his attention back to the village and pointed down at it. A few steely chains slowly emerged from the ground behind him and loomed over the crusaders like snakes, aiming directly at the village.
The dragon shuddered as he looked up at the chains and he found that he was grateful to no longer be on the receiving end of Zane’s wrath. He let out a huffing noise, a small steam cloud leaving his nose as he hauled himself to his paws. “Fine.”
Zane nodded to himself as he picked the perfect starting spot. Like striking snakes, the chains immediately dove into various places, smashing through buildings and wounding dozens at once. Satisfied, Zane stood up and unfurled his wings, taking a step from the hill and gliding into the center of the villa to make his grand entrance.
Ess stood, spread his wings, and dove into the city, choosing not to follow Zane and heading to the nearest fallen building; a collapsed house. When he landed, he turned to his human form and ran inside, planning to sneak out any survivors while Zane wasn't watching. However, when he went inside he wasn’t prepared for the powerful scent of blood that filled his nostrils. He slapped a hand over his mouth to prevent himself from vomitting. There was no time for sickness, there were lives to save! As he gathered his nerves, a weak voice filled his ears, crying out for help from underneath a pile of broken purlins and trusses. “I hear you,” He called as he searched for the injured person, “Just be patient!” Minutes of throwing off roofing debris felt like hours before he found the deeply wounded young man. There was a wooden beam protruding from the human’s stomach. The man’s voice was weak: "K-Kill me, please.." As the man sputtered he spat blood onto Ess' face, forming a small splatter on his cheek. He reached out and touched the beast’s dusty leather boot, his hand shaking violently as he pulled slightly at the shoe, wanting Ess to kneel down. Without hesitation, Ess kneeled down beside the man and took his hand, "I can help you, just stay still-" The speared man pushed his hand away and grabbed onto one of the large knives strapped to Ess' thigh, looking him in the eye and pleading wordlessly. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Ess took out the black bowie knife and slit the man's throat, keeping the cut deep and quick. Blood gushed onto Ess' leg and torso, staining the dark blue fabric of his clothing and overwhelming his nose with the stench of death. He could do nothing but stare down at the body, tears welling up in his eyes but evaporating before they could fall from his lashes. Everything felt surreal as if he was trapped in some sort of horrible nightmare. He hated killing, even if it was just a measly, vile little human. He hated fighting, and the more he thought about what he hated, he wished Zane had never shown up, he wished he was never born. He was startled out of his thoughts as a nearby building crumbled and exploded nearby.
More chains started to tear through the buildings as Zane walked through the city. He smiled gleefully as he took in all the chaos and hummed to himself as his ears were filled with the lovely sound of agonized screams. He looked over at a woman who had survived a fallen building, hardly wounded, and heading toward the town’s exit. That wouldn’t do, the last thing Zane wanted was a survivor. He finger-gunned at the woman and a chain burst from the ground and impaled her through the chest. The chain then shot through the wall of an unnaturally tall house, slamming the gored woman into the wall fast enough to kill her on impact. “Oh, did I miss one?” He muttered as he looked up at the house. The chain started tearing through the building, winding through the floors and shattering each window as it destroyed the infrastructure. Children could be heard screaming, some jumping from the broken windows in a futile attempt to escape from the metallic snake and splattering onto the ground below spewing bright red viscera against Zane’s deep brown skin. He stared down at the pile of mush, once human, that littered the ground in front of him before turning on one heel and walking away.
The shrieks of children sent Ess into action again. There was no use crying over the contract he’d agreed to. As he tucked the knife back into its holster and scrambled to his feet, he made a beeline for the door, but quickly stopped as a woman appeared in the doorway. They gave each other a once over. The lady’s pink dress was covered in dust and grime, with tears in the fabric and one white glove missing from her dainty little hand, a pink pump missing from her foot. She looked horrified as she took in the bloodstained man with the reptilian eyes and deep blue hair, “Oh…oh my god! A demon!”
“W-Wait, I didn't-" Ess started, eyes wide as he stepped back and lifted his hands, “I’m not gonna hurt you, please-!” The explanation fell on deaf ears as a man shoved the woman to the ground between them, shouting "Goddammit woman, move!" He hoisted his shotgun to eye level, aiming directly at Ess' head. In a rush of instinct and a burst of wind, Ess turned to his dragon form and swatted the villager away just a little bit too roughly. The man flew into the pile of debris where the other corpse lay, now impaled on a jagged piece of wood. The woman on the ground screamed again, curling into a ball as if that would protect her from the reality of the situation. ‘No, no! I have to get out of here!’ Ess thought, spreading his wings and surging up through the roof of the building. He felt trapped and wanted to escape as quickly as possible. He hadn’t meant to hurt the human, but it was far too late to explain that he was a friend, not a foe.
Zane turned when he heard the clamor of Ess rising through the roof and started to laugh but quickly stopped as a bullet grazed his cheek. Scowling, he crouched down and shielded himself with his wings as bullets flew and fell like hurled stones against his crimson shield. "Pests..." He quickly rushed two of the villagers, using one of his wings to cut one's head off while grabbing the other’s face and slamming his head into the ground, crushing his skull like a watermelon against the cold dirt. Wincing, he touched the blood that dripped from his cheek before staring coldly at the remaining villager that attacked him. The man, who had been dressed in a rather nice business suit, promptly began to wet himself when their eyes met. The feathers on Zane’s wings puffed up in anger as he marched toward the suit-man. The man dropped the gun and tried to run away to no avail. Lunging forward, Zane extended a wing and cut the man’s head off, muttering angrily under his breath. His mood had quickly turned sour and he decided that now was the perfect time to finish the job he’d started.
Meanwhile, in a frantic flurry of fur and feathers, Ess descended clumsily from the sky, turned to his human form, and took off into the shadows as quickly as he could. His natural form was too big to hide, much to his dismay, so he was forced to use his inferior form. The villagers gave chase, shooting at him as he ran to an area of the village with more coverage. Finding the perfect spot, Ess melted into the shadows of a ruined home, hiding just behind the doorframe. His heart drummed in his mouth as his ears strained to pick up the voices of his pursuers: “Where’d that damn demon go?” "No idea. Let's split up and try to ambush her, I think she went that way." "Pretty sure it was a guy." "Is that important? Now, you three go this way, we'll go down here." Footsteps moved toward the building Ess was hiding in. Biting down on his tongue, Ess grabbed his bowie knives and mentally prepared himself to take another life.
Meanwhile, Zane flew up into the sky above the village. "All of you are a plague on this beautiful planet…” He held his arms out to his sides and extended his wings as far as he could, the sky beginning to turn black and angry as clouds rushed to blot out any signs of sunlight. Lightning began to split the abyss above them, thunder booming like the applause of a cruel audience as the wind began to howl tales of Zane's anger. The spectacle caught the attention of Ess’ pursuers.
"What is-" The villager never got to finish his sentence, Ess had plunged one of his knives deep into the back of his skull, his face contorted into the snarl of a trapped animal. "Wait-!" The gunman cried, aiming at Ess and pulling the trigger. It jammed. Before the man had a chance to run, Ess had already plunged his other knife deep into his belly and pushed it upward, gutting the poor villager like a fish. The third one took off down the alleyway, screaming hysterically for their god to save them. No god answered, only the sickening crunch of a body crushed between steely jaws. Almost immediately, he shrank down to his human form and placed a shaky hand on the wall of the destroyed house while quickly shoving the other hand down his throat, trying to purge the human corpse from his stomach. No use. He didn't want to kill those people, nevermind eat one, but his hand was forced and his instinct demanded he did. Before he could wallow in his dismay, his attention was drawn to the sudden burst of energy in the air, the static so intense that his hair, now a deep violet in certain spots due to the blood of his victims, began to rise and wave in the air. Just as he realized what was happening, a blinding brightness filled his vision and a nearly unfathomable pain surged through his body. Then, he was unconscious.
Lightning descended on the village, igniting houses and zapping any creature the god laid his eyes on. He let out a maniacle laugh as the winds rose and began tearing apart what few buildings remained, snatching up hiding humans and tossing them high into the air before dropping them to their deaths. Bodies rained from the skies, charred and smoking, landing on debris and littering what was once a beautiful little town. It didn’t take long before Zane’s rage was satiated, the winds quieting down their deathly wails and the lightning retreating into the cloudy sky, leaving the god and beast alone in the fruits of their labor. The entire village reeked of blood, death, and ash; and Zane couldn’t be happier. With a careful flap of his soaked wings, he landed and looked around at the mess.
"Well done, dragon. I’m surprised you cooperated so quickly."
Zane’s words were met with the soft drumming of the rain hitting the dirt below his feet. Furrowing his brow and crossing his arms, he called a bit louder: “Dragon come to my side.”
It took a moment, but his companion finally appeared, his heavy paws thumping against the ground and his massive head hanging low. As he approached, Ess shifted to his human form and continued to take weak steps toward Zane. He was burned, clothes were soaked in blood and he had mud caked all over him. When he was in front of Zane, he spoke in a quiet voice: “Have we finished?”
Zane raised an eyebrow when he saw him, a brief look of surprise crossing his face. ‘I must have hit him with my lightning,’ He thought, ‘I should be more careful next time.’ "Yes,” Zane said as he sized him up and smirked. He was surprised the dragon had lasted this long, especially since the humans seemed to give him such a hard time.
Hearing his words, Ess' body suddenly felt like it was made of stone. It hurt to even breathe, his muscles felt like he'd been put through a shredder. Blue spots began swarming his vision and he felt lightheaded. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears and the top of his head was burning hot, as if he his hair had been ignited like the houses that surrounded them. The world began to slowly tilt and spin. He only managed to whisper a soft, "Ah, good.." before his bright eyes rolled back and his knees gave out. He collapsed on the ground in front of Zane, just laying there as if he himself had joined the corpses, his breathing was light and shallow. The back of his shirt had been burned horribly and blood was beginning to pearl and spread across the dragon’s brown skin.
Zane crouched down next to him, watching the blood spread into a puddle. He gently nudged the dragon’s cheek and checked his pulse when he got no reaction. Seeing that Ess was still alive, though completely unconscious, Zane smirked and lifted Ess in one strong arm.
they should have simply arrested the hurricane
those is mcdonalds jeans?
Fun fact: those McDonald’s jeans are part of the standard uniform here in Colombia. I’ve tried at least 16x to ask where they source them, if I can buy them from the manager, even going McDonald’s not to order food but just to ask for the jeans. I asked someone high up in their marketing dept here to see if maybe they know which company sourced them, and still couldn’t get my hands on a pair. Apparently employees only get one pair per year. They’re slightly high-waisted, they taper very slightly, they’re always kind of high water at the bottom, and they’re the perfect light jean color. They’re not stiff, they’re not that stretchy, they’re the perfect denim material. They come with a cloth belt that’s either yellow or turquoise, and the stitching on the M is almost sensual. I will not give up
theres a hourse in the dirve through
could you please stay on topic
why are certain typos so humiliating. if anyone ever catches me typing “teh” i want you to shoot me like a lame horse
Context: Sims … 3? hat mod. Wear a bathtub as a hat. you can put a person in the bathtub because its still technically a bathtub. and then give them a hat.
tf2 in like three years
real context: Sims 4 has a cheat called “Set as Head” which you can activate on any object, to hilarious results.
This is so sad
love interior design slander thank you tiktok for the delivery
I needed to record this because r/perth is having a regular one today
Are you the "I will eat the good food first and let the bad come last" neurodivergent or the "I will suffer through the bad food first so I can end with the good" neurodivergent?
bad then good
Hate to see you leave, but love watching you go.😏
When I was younger, I was such a big Edgar Allen Poe fan that I once swore off ever reading a Stephen King novel because an Epic Rap Battles of History video pitted them against each other and I was overly defensive
This is so fucking funny thank you so much for sending this to me
Still perhaps my best comeback ever.
There still has yet to be a movie about sharks attacking people.