I remember the night you died I stayed up late talking to the stars in hopes that you could hear me, I remember thinking any gust of wind was you trying to send me a message, any leaf that fell, anything I saw or heard were you trying to reach out to me. I was so desperate for you to be there, I looked for you everywhere, but that night, I didn't find you in the stars, or in the wind, or in the leaves. You weren't there. But that's changed, since then, I've found you in sunsets, in clouds, in flowers, in the sea, in the sun, and even in the stars, I was so blinded by loss at first that I looked right past where you were, but now that I've sat with grief for a while, I've learned to find you anywhere, and that's what's kept me going. Finding you in life is what keeps me motivated to wake up in the morning. So that's why I'm sure, that when I'll be sitting in front of that cake looking at the candles spelling out the number 18, surrounded by the people you most loved, I'll find you right there, in the happy birthday song, in the fire of the candles and most importantly, I'll find you at night while I talk to the stars about how I'm all grown up now.