the thing that always breaks my heart about benji ovich is just… how good he is. how selfless. how kind. how he helps people without expecting anything in return, without even asking for acknowledgement. he just has such a strong, solid moral streak, far superior to that of his peers and even those of the adults around him.
he stops bobo from attacking amat in his fury after their first training session together, saving amat (whom he just met) from potentially serious injury. he splits with kevin, his best friend and the boy he’s loved for years, for the unforgivable act of hurting an innocent girl. he’s one of the first few people to believe maya and take her side. he wrecks an entire bathroom in school just so she doesn’t get in trouble for smashing the mirror, taking on all the blame for himself. he steps aside in the bathroom as she’s storming out so that she doesn’t physically touch him and relive her trauma. time and time again he throws himself in the line of fire to protect the people around him, even those he barely knows.
and in spite of all that he still truly believes himself to be a monster. he’s convinced that he’s beyond redemption, that something inside him is irreparably damaged. he doesn’t want to be saved because he doesn’t think he deserves it. he gets high and starts fights and shuts people out because he’s afraid of those he loves seeing how gentle and vulnerable he truly is. despite being one of the most self-sacrificing and considerate individuals in beartown, he still makes himself out to be the villain.
it just gets me every time, man.
izzy806
prguitarman
turnnoffyourmind
dailybridgerton
theartofmadeline
titsay
