We live on front porches and swing life away.

I'm Dany. I work in the library, and sometimes submit stories to Sawyer's newspaper. You can usually find me attached to Carson McGregor's hip. We're roommates. But no, it is not like that.

[thechrischapman-blog]

like sixth graders | chris & dany

[thechrischapman-blog]

Dany’s enthusiasm was catching. Chris rocked to the side, exaggerating the response to Dany’s shove, and let out a huff of laughter. “Secret identity, you know? But um. Yeah, I’m in a band. It’s nothing serious; we just kind of blow off steam, and Pete lets us play at the Tavern sometimes.” He’d drawn the line at karaoke nights, for which Chris would be eternally grateful. He heard more than enough yowling from his neighbor’s cats; he didn’t need that noise following him to work. He wouldn’t mind seeing Dany on stage, though. He had a feeling there wasn’t much she couldn’t do.

“We’ve, uh—we’ve actually got a show coming up, soon. If you, you know, wanted to come.” Smooth, Chapman. He was still smoother than Aaron, though, so he didn’t feel too bad about his utter failure to be nonchalant. He had a lot of fun with his band, even if he wasn’t really tight with his bandmates. It was something that he didn’t take too seriously, and that gave him a chance to vent. He knew they weren’t going on world tours any time soon—ever, really—but it would still be cool to have more than his brother and girlfriend show up for the band instead of the alcohol. And it would be kind of useless to deny that Dany’s opinion meant a lot to him.

[danylamby-blog]

Even though Dany was kind of outraged that Chris had actually never thought to mention something as awesome as being in a band, the smile on her face was currently threatening to crack her face in half. Chris was so cool. The younger Chapman's invite was the total opposite of cool however, and Dany's smile grew even wider. "Of course I'll come!" She gave his shoulder another push, lighter than the previous one. "I'm sure Carson'll want to come, too." Even if he protested, Dany would make him go--the entire town should have been checking this out already. Why had she not heard of this already? They had musicians. In Sawyer.

She wondered if Chris sang. That would have been totally adorable, especially with the way he and his brother's accents differed from the rest of the locals. Not to mention that any singing ability period would have been a refresher in Dany's life, as there were a lot of things Carson McGregor could do, but holding a note was not one of them. Dany had just opened her mouth to ask more questions when they reached the bottom floor of the hotel; she gave an excited squeak as the door opened, allowing music to flow in to them.

"I'll be there." She grabbed Chris's hand swiftly and began pulling him toward the noise. "Let's go!"

[thechrischapman-blog]

like sixth graders | chris & dany

[thechrischapman-blog]

Chris leaned into Dany’s touch easily, smiling. He’d never been huge on physical affection—there hadn’t been a lot of room for it in his family, and he’d quickly learned to tone everything down around Emily—but once he’d fallen into step with Dany, he’d quickly grown used to it. It was nice, and it was so uniquely Dany that he couldn’t help but feel better around her.

Chris hit the button for the elevator while Dany fired off a few text messages. It seemed doubtful that Carson would be able to stop bashing his head against the wall long enough to read the messages, but Chris didn’t mention it. Carson and Aaron could deal with their shit without Chris or Dany having to obviously choose sides and argue about it. Though he was pretty sure that they were both on team what the fuck are you idiots doing, so it wouldn’t be a problem anyway.

Chris hadn’t heard of the opening band. He had some Death Cab on his iPod, and liked what he knew of theirs, but he tended to lean more toward rock and punk music. He liked stuff that he could jam to and lose himself in. Music was an escape for him, and he liked it to drown out his thoughts, not highlight them. He was curious, though. “I haven’t been to a show in forever,” he said. “Not one I wasn’t playing in, I mean.” They had a few locals who played at the Tavern, but the atmosphere was always different at an actual concert, where you were surrounded by people and could really lose yourself in what you were experiencing. 

[danylamby-blog]

Although it was difficult, Dany worked to put Carson's plight out of her mind after she and Chris stepped into the elevator. This was supposed to be her birthday weekend, and even if Carson was in the middle of a freak-out, she knew he'd only feel worse if he discovered he'd thrown off her ability to have a good time.

She liked the way Chris leaned into her, and although there was a warmth to it, there definitely weren't any butterflies, but that was good, too. Dany liked Chris. He was the warmer counterpart to his brother--Aaron may have smiled more when she and Carson were around, but she was aware of his regular standing within the town, even before the article--and she liked that she could be close to him without it being a big deal.

There had been no whispers within the town about her and the younger Chapman being an item; either they were still stuck on her and Carson, or the new addition had just left them confused. But that was just as well--even if she hadn't known about Chris's relationship with Emily, Dany couldn't picture dating Chris, and it wasn't because it had been a while since she'd dated anyone. He was just so young.

"I haven’t been to a show in forever," Chris said as they elevator opened, and Dany had been just about to admit the same was true for her when he continued: "Not one I wasn’t playing in, I mean."

The noise Dany emitted was a very poorly-contained squeak. She was glad the elevator door had just closed. She let go of Chris, gawking. "What?! You're in a band?" She shoved at his shoulder lightly with both hands. "Why didn't you tell me??"

[thechrischapman-blog]

like sixth graders | chris & dany

Chris had always liked Dublin, if only because it wasn’t Sawyer. Small towns were suffocating, sometimes, and that was something above anything else that he’d come to realize in his relationship with Emily. You couldn’t move in Sawyer without someone noticing and starting some kind of gossip spiral, but you could lose yourself in Dublin, where people weren’t as interconnected and nosy. There was a lot of freedom in that feeling of relative anonymity, and it had always worked well for Chris. He’d never dealt with the backlash of it, though—not until he was standing on the other side of a closed door, wondering if he should skip the show and stick around for Aaron, who looked like he was about three seconds from drowning himself in the hotel mini bar. 

But Aaron was stubborn, and it wasn’t like there were strong lines of communication between them to begin with. Even if they’d been on much better terms lately, neither of them had really talked about anything important in months without the help of alcohol. He would have a better chance at getting Aaron to go on stage and sing karaoke with the band than getting him to talk about the scene downstairs.

Anyway, he reasoned, it was Dany’s birthday, and she deserved more than to have her day overshadowed by all of the drama Aaron and Carson had found themselves angsting over. He stepped away from the door and walked over to her, smiling slightly. “He’ll be fine,” he said, hoping to convince himself as much as her. “Let’s go to the show, birthday girl.”

[danylamby-blog]

Dany hadn't actually been following Carson, it was more of her just exploring the suite, because seriously, had they walked into a Hilton when she wasn't looking? But all of the the unnecessarily ornate details kind of made her uncomfortable; this was just yet another example of something she'd never have been able to afford on her own. But hey, it had been a gift. Kind of. Dany was pretty sure she'd have rather shacked up in a motel than have to see the look on Aaron's face when that girl had kissed Carson. Ugh.

Carson's utter obliviousness afterwards completely baffled her. Seriously, how did he not get it? You pine after a guy for a month--she'd been there after every lunch date, every movie night, and Carson had moped hard--but when you finally get him, you push him away? It didn't make any sense. Although, since meeting the Chapmen, Carson had kind of stopped making sense in general. It was strange, watching her typically level-headed friend make irrational decision after irrational decision. She kind of wanted to chain Carson and Aaron to a table and throw away the key until they would just talk to each other, but they would probably just end up starving to death, because they were both obstinate fuckers. God.

When Carson totally brushed her off in the bedroom, Dany tried not to take it personally. Making Carson do anything he didn't want to do was like drawing blood from a stone--you'd basically need to defy physics to get your desired result. And so, after admiring the view of Dublin down below from the room's windows (maybe there was some merit to being on the top floor), Dany ended up floating over to the other bedroom, where Aaron was trying to pretend he wasn't totally miserable, and Chris was busy pretending he hadn't noticed his older brother was currently down in the dumps.

For a few seconds, Dany kind of wanted to strangle Carson. She wondered if a judge would accept that she had done it out of love.

"He’ll be fine." Dany honestly hoped so. She liked Aaron, and hated knowing that he was hurt because her best friend had suddenly decided to take up a new hobby: being stupid.

Chris seemed pretty determined to get her downstairs to the show, and to be honest, Dany was kind of stoked. Free tickets were one thing, but Death Cab for Cutie and Mazzy Star? Awesome. Trying to push her worries out of her head, Dany looped her arm through Chris's and pulled him close, fishing her phone out of her purse at her side to send Carson a text. "Going downstairs to the show. Convince Aaron to come!!"

After a few seconds, she quickly sent another one.

"TALK TO HIM FIRST!"

[danylamby-blog]

We're moving, we're moving, we're finally freaking moving!

I KNOW I KNOW SHUT UP SHUT UP.

Also, packing is hard. Come help me?

[danylamby-blog]

hey! just wanted to see if you were doing okay.

TEXT: Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks for asking. :3

[luke-holt-deactivated20120710]

pickup | luke, dany & chris

[thechrischapman-blog]

Chris gnawed at his bottom lip as Luke limped inside. He followed Dany, who seemed to be in shock, staying a few paces behind her. He wasn’t sure what he’d walked into the middle of, but it was putting him even further on edge. He wanted to hit pause on everything and ask Dany what the hell he was missing here, but that obviously wasn’t an option, so he stood next to Dany when they got inside, watching Luke wince as he reached over the counter.

It wasn’t hard to imagine a situation where Luke would piss Carson off enough to get punched. But there was a difference in a fair fight and a no-holds-barred teardown, and this had definitely been the latter. Chris couldn’t imagine what someone would have to do to deserve something like this. Not even someone who was a vaguely psychotic fucker. He wondered if Luke had even managed to get a punch in. It really didn’t look like it.

Chris really wasn’t looking forward to the conversation he was going to have with Aaron when he got home. He teased his brother about his affection for Carson, but up to this point, it had been something that seemed like it could be healthy. Chris had hoped that Aaron had finally found someone who wasn’t going to fuck up their lives—someone who, as far as Chris was concerned, was as different from Jack as possible. But this wasn’t the kind of thing he could shrug off or keep from Aaron. He needed to know what the hell he was getting into if this was going to keep going. Chris liked Carson, and he hoped that this was a one-time thing—and from the look on Dany’s face, it was a first—but he couldn’t depend on that fact alone when it came to his brother.

Chris accepted his keys from Dany and tucked them into his jacket pocket. “Are you gonna be okay?” There was genuine concern in her expression—the same she’d extended to him a few nights before—and he wasn’t sure if she was more concerned for Luke’s injuries or the consequences they might hold for Carson. Either way, even though he felt like he wanted to bolt and never come back, there was no way that he was leaving Dany here alone.

[luke-holt-deactivated20120710]

“Are you gonna be okay?” 

What the fuck kind of question was that?

Luke glanced at Dany before looking at Chris, who was watching him with the expression of fucking Bambi right after his mother got shot. What the fuck was up with this kid? He had less guts than roadkill. Luke frowned at him intently before looking back at Dany, wondering what he should tell her. Of course he was okay. He was always okay. Luke had more scars than he had actual skin, more marks on his body than most people got in their lifetimes, and he was always okay. On the other hand, though, the first step towards breaking someone- after actually putting the idea in their mind- was to isolate them. Make them lonely. And here Luke had the one person in the world that Carson figured he could actually rely on, and he held the key to breaking them apart.

“I don’t think so,” Luke said bravely, touching his infected face lightly and managing to curb a smirk, looking horribly depressed instead. It wasn’t really that difficult. “I don’t know how I’m going to pay for this, and it’s going to scar badly. I can already feel it.” He tugged up his shirt slightly, showing off the bruise covering his stomach. “And I think I might be bleeding internally. I’ve been real sick all morning and who knows what that might mean. I can taste blood in my mouth, too, and they say that’s a sign there’s something wrong with your insides.”

He shrugged, looking down. “Guess I’ll finally die, though. You guys’ll be rid of me. I can stop terrorizing the town. That’s what Carson said I was doing before he hit me.”

[danylamby-blog]

"I don’t think so," Luke said, and hold up. Something was off here. Dany had seen guys get beat up, tended to people who'd been jumped by multiple people at once. More often than not, their injuries spoke for themselves, and their pride forced them to soldier on (which left her playing nursemaid to keep them from running themselves into the ground). But as Luke went on, this didn't sound like the man who'd been so loath to show any weakness in front of her just a few days ago. Pair his speech with the obvious attention he was bringing to his injuries, and this sounded more than a little fishy.

“Guess I’ll finally die, though. You guys’ll be rid of me. I can stop terrorizing the town. That’s what Carson said I was doing before he hit me.”

Dany's jaw dropped.

"You are so full of shit."

She spat the words without a thought. She was pissed now, but at both Carson and Luke. What the hell is wrong with them? Carson apparently thought that the best way to handle people was to attempt to give them a face lift with his bare hands, and Luke -- what the fuck, seriously? It wasn't like she hadn't just been here days ago, essentially crying in front of him. For him to attempt to manipulate her now was low.

Even though it made her queasy to look at his face -- because God, how painful that had to be -- Dany stared at Luke for a moment, outraged. She opened her mouth, only to realize she didn't actually have the energy to launch into how many different kinds of fucked up he was being right now. Instead, he gripped her keys tightly in her hand and turned on her heel, leaving Luke behind.

"C'mon, Chris. He's gonna be just fine."

She made her way briskly to her car, but as soon as she laid a hand on the door handle, what she'd just seen came crashing back down on her. It didn't matter if Luke was a manipulative ass -- Carson was the reason that he looked the way that he did right now. The memory of the shame on his face when he'd come home didn't leave any doubt in her mind that he was. Dany let herself into her car, but didn't start it, staring at the rim of her steering wheel. She felt light-headed.

[luke-holt-deactivated20120710]

pickup | luke, dany & chris

[thechrischapman-blog]

Dany grabbed his arm, and Chris looked over at her, wide-eyed. She’d gone pale under her freckles, and he wondered just how much more she knew about this situation than he did. But holy hell, Luke looked like a bear had come at him. Chris couldn’t help his outburst—he wouldn’t wish these kind of injuries on someone he hated, and Luke came pretty close to that.

“Carson happened to my fucking face, fuckwad. You know. Carson your buddy? Goodie two shoes mayor’s boy. He fucking beat the shit out of me. He’s lucky I’m a good person or I’d have broke his fucking neck.” Chris’s eyes widened farther as Luke ranted. That didn’t sound like the Carson he’d met. It was true that he didn’t really know Carson, but he was having a hard time reconciling the guy who stared at Chris’s brother when he thought no one was looking with the type of person who could do this much damage to someone. The Carson that Chris had met didn’t match up with Luke’s story, but the infected gashes on his face definitely didn’t speak of self-defense.

Chris looked over at Dany again as the pressure on his arm increased. She definitely knew something about this. Of course she does. She lives with Carson. He wondered if Carson looked half this bad—but the look on Dany’s face made him think otherwise. What the hell did you do, Carson? 

Dany dropped her hand from his arm, and Chris tentatively moved his hand to her shoulder, not sure if he was comforting her or holding her back. “Look,” he said uneasily, trying not to look at Luke’s face. “We just need to get our cars.” 

[luke-holt-deactivated20120710]

They were both looking at him with the sort of shock one would expect to see on the face of someone who’d just discovered the dead body of a fucking Hutt lying on their kitchen floor. Luke was pretty sure that as screwed up as his face was, he hadn’t magically metamorphosed into an alien from Varl. Then again, he had been feeling a little more prone to worshipping stars as gods in the last couple of days.

It kind of pissed Luke off, though, because he knew his face was jacked up, alongside his back and his arms and pretty much everything else, but they both looked more terrified at the idea that Carson had done this. After all, Carson was the perfect guy, and there was no way in hell he’d have been able to fuck Luke up as badly as he had. Aside from being pissed off at their lack of actual concern for him, he was pleased as punch that his desired effect had been reached.

Plant these little ideas about Carson in people’s heads and his relationships would crack right open on their own. Luke was the chisel and he knew the exact spot to hit. Letting Carson pummel his face into a wet pulp had been the place to start, and he could definitely build on it over time. He could build on it now, if he wanted to, but Dany’s pale, drawn face and the confusion flickering across Chris’ eyes let him know that he couldn’t pile it on too much, too soon.

He could play it up, though.

“Cars, yeah,” he said a little distantly. Concussions were a thing that happened, right? Luke had had one ages ago, so while he couldn’t remember everything that had happened, he remembered enough. “Come on.” He turned and limped inside, not too pronounced but just enough that they’d notice, and hesitated near the front desk, leaning against it and pressing a hand to his head, feigning dizziness. Luke wasn’t good at a lot of things, but years of having sex for money had taught him how to act and he might as well use it now.

He paused poignantly before pushing away from the desk, managing to reclaim his balance and looking at Chris and Dany before taking the keys to their vehicles off the rack above the desk. “Here’s your fucking keys,” he said, holding them out. “I’m going to see the doctor today, so you fuckwads better let Carson know that if anything is seriously fucked up, he’ll be getting a medical bill.”

It was only fair, right?

[danylamby-blog]

Dany still couldn't talk. What was there to say? She felt like she should apologize, but why would she do that before getting Carson's side of the story? She was now made extremely uncomfortable with the fact that they still hadn't really talked about it. Carson had barely spoken a word that morning; she remembered wondering if he was going to be okay, as there was obviously something bothering him that had nothing to do with the bruising on his jaw.

As it turned out, he wasn't actually the person Dany should have been worrying about.

But maybe that was it? Dany only distantly felt Chris' hand falling away from her shoulder as she followed Luke numbly. When he paused and put a hand to his head, she flinched. Carson had really done this? Her roommate's injuries seemed nearly laughable by comparison. Except Dany was pretty sure that she would be sick before she laughed at this point.

"Here’s your fucking keys." Dany ignored Luke's words about a medical bill -- if Carson did get one, he'd either pay it or fight it. It was kind of hard to get a lawyer to do anything they didn't want to do. Either way, she didn't care. Not about that, at least. Dany stepped forward to take both sets of keys from Luke's hand, not paying any mind to the way their fingers brushed.

She passed Chris his keys without looking away from Luke. "Are you gonna be okay?" It was good that he was going to a doctor, but still, she was genuinely concerned.

[thechrischapman-blog]

making plans | chris & dany

[thechrischapman-blog]

Chris leaned against the door, biting the inside of his cheek. He really didn’t want to go back to see Luke at all, but there was no getting around that. He didn’t want to expose Dany to that, but he had no doubt she would hold her own far better than he had. He couldn’t completely shake the paralyzing fear that had settled over him at the garage—more at not knowing what was coming than what was happening, though the feeling of Luke’s mouth hovering over his wasn’t going away any time soon—and he very, desperately didn’t want to go back alone.

And he trusted Dany.

“If it’s, uh.” He stuttered to a stop and sighed, standing up straight again. “Yes,” he said. He chewed at his fingernail for a moment before adding on, “Look, I don’t think you will, but—I haven’t really told anyone else about this, and I…” He trailed off, the irony hitting him—here he’d been having a conversation with Dany about how much secrets had done to him, and now he was asking her to lie for him. He liked to think it was different, but it still made him pause.

But he couldn’t imagine actually telling Aaron what had gone down at the garage. It had been hard enough to get the words out when he told Dany, and he was pretty sure he’d been babbling in shock, then. He swallowed hard. “Hey, uh—we should probably get the drinks, right?”

[danylamby-blog]

"If it's, uh. Yes." Still smiling, Dany let out a relieved little huff, glad that Chris hadn't  attempted to wave off the support that he clearly wanted. Then Chris looked hesitant, and was stammering his way through some sort of request -- but suddenly, she got it.

Dany took a step forward until she was close enough to place a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay," she said, brown eyes reassuring. "I won't tell anyone." And she wouldn't; not even Carson. Nothing good would come out of him knowing, anyway.

"Hey, uh--we should probably get the drinks, right?"

Dany grinned. "Yeah." And with that, she was off, whisking away to snatch four cups from the kitchen cupboards, fill them them with ice (leaving noticeably less in the cup she'd selected for Carson), and then the Sprite she'd brought into the kitchen earlier. Job completed, she grabbed her cup and Carson's, left the other two for Chris, and strode back into the living room.

"Oh my God," Carson said as soon as she came into view. "You're not dead!"

"Shut up," she said flatly, handing him his cup, but she sat down quite close to Carson, leaning her head against his shoulder. "What'd I miss?"

"Just the entire movie," Carson exaggerated.

Dany decided to not risk jostling their drinks with an elbow, and settled for rolling her eyes instead, looking over at Chris with a grin.

[thechrischapman-blog]

making plans | chris & dany

[thechrischapman-blog]

“You can tell me.” Chris almost choked with relief. It was stupid to think this really changed anything—he was still in a fight with Emily, still in a relationship that was choking him, and still out an extra hundred bucks a month—but it felt like it. At least now he had some kind of reprieve from the isolation and loneliness that had defined his life for the past four years. ”I might take you up on that.”

He looked over at Dany, and the sheer level of gentleness and compassion in her expression made him want to hug her. But he was reminded again that he didn’t really know Dany, and he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable after she’d been so nice to him.He settled for gently bumping her shoulder with his and giving her a small but honest smile.

“Thanks,” he said quietly. And he meant it for more than tonight—for coming over yesterday when he’d called, even though she barely knew either of them, for coming to pick him up from the garage and not making him feel weak about it, for just being there. 

He picked himself up from the counter and stepped toward the door. He felt a lot better than he had in a while. Because there was still all kinds of shit he had to deal with, but he didn’t have to do it alone, at least. “I, uh. I guess we should probably get back in there, right?” 

[danylamby-blog]

Chris looked visibly relieved, and it made Dany smile at the same time that it gave her heart a little twinge. After all this time, there hadn't been anyone that he could confide it? From the sound of it, Chris hadn't even told Aaron, and that was just... she didn't know what to think of that. She also didn't know how the two of them had lived together for years and Emily had never been brought up. But it probably wasn't so much an issue of Chris not wanting to tell Aaron, but of him wanting to respect Emily's wishes.

And Dany couldn't even start to comprehend what would make a person want to keep a relationship secret like that for so long. Four years -- years, period -- was  serious. It was the idea that Carson hadn't been able to wrap his head around with Nickie. And it was why (aside from her own accidental interference) that relationship had ended.

"Thanks." Chris bumped purposely into her a little, and Dany immediately interpreted that as the gesture of affection that it was. She smiled. Carson had been one for little things like that when they'd first been getting to know each other. "Any time," Dany said, just as quietly.

Chris moved to leave the kitchen, but Dany paused, struck by a sudden thought. "Hey, um." Was this too much? Just ask, she thought. He could always just say no if he thought he could handle it. But somehow Dany had a feeling he wouldn't. "Do you want me to come with you to pick up your car later?"

[luke-holt-deactivated20120710]

pickup | luke, dany & chris

[luke-holt-deactivated20120710]

Luke was finding that attempting to get anything done with his face still in the condition it was in was really fucking near impossible. His eye was oozing something that wasn’t quite blood but wasn’t quite tears, a sort of yellowish-clear liquid that wasn’t pus but kind of looked like plasma, and the cuts on his cheek were like fucking werewolf wounds, as far as Luke was concerned. In fact, how did he know Carson wasn’t a werewolf? He looked the type, like the sort of person who tore off all their clothes once the moon got a little full and ran around biting strange people on the moors.

Luke had seen An American Werewolf in London. He knew that shit happened, that guys got torn half to death and then hit on by sexy English nurses, and he didn’t really want it to happen to him. He hoped Carson wasn’t suffering from a severe case of douchebag lycanthropy. On top of his sudden worry about becoming a wolfman, Luke was starting to wonder if Hot Lips was ever going to fucking show up. He’d be kind of bummed if he decided to skip out on this.

His fears subsided, though, when he heard a car pull up outside, walking out to find Chris and… Dany. Of course. Why had he been expecting Carson when Dany clearly had a thing for Chris? Fuck this shit. Luke was going to be as nasty as he possibly could to the both of them for being such goddamn assholes, not to mention the fact that he’d bared everything to Dany the other day and she’d still looked at him like he was something dirty, something dragged up out of the gutters of Dublin and tossed to Sawyer like a bit of refuse.

“Holy fuck, dude. What the hell happened to your face?”

That was nice tone, except it really wasn’t. Luke glared at Chris the best he could with one eye stuck shut with the not-quite-plasma glue and his lip swelled up like fucking Angelina Jolie. “Carson happened to my fucking face, fuckwad. You know. Carson your buddy? Goodie two shoes mayor’s boy. He fucking beat the shit out of me. He’s lucky I’m a good person or I’d have broke his fucking neck.” He didn’t give a shit if Dany was upset by his words. He was still feeling horribly vulnerable thanks to her, and feeling vulnerable drove him to shove people away as vehemently as he possibly could.

[danylamby-blog]

When she and Chris got within view of Luke in the garage, they both stopped abruptly, and so did the air in Dany's lungs. "Holy fuck, dude," Chris said. Dany placed a hand lightly on his forearm to halt him, but Chris kept on. "What the hell happened to your face?"

The same cold feeling she'd gotten the last time she'd been in Luke's presence returned, only this time it was much worse. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been this taken off guard, but suddenly she had no desire to hear the story behind why Luke's face looked like he'd gone twelve rounds with Mike Tyson during his ear-biting era. She had a really bad feeling she already knew the answer.

What were the chances that Carson had recently come home bruised and bloodied and it wasn't because of the ravaged man in front of her? Absolutely zero, because Carson had admitted that the two of them had fought -- that he had even started it. But perhaps Luke had gotten into another fight after? Because this was nothing like what had been done to Carson. And Luke was more than likely a more experienced fighter, and stronger -- why did he look so much worse? Dany couldn't reconcile the sight in front of her with her best friend's gentle hands.

Then Luke cleared up any doubt that his face was the result of Carson's handiwork. Abruptly, Dany realized she was still holding on to Chris, but her grip had grown much tighter during Luke's speech. Wide-eyed, and still speechless, she let go.

[thechrischapman-blog]

making plans | chris & dany

[thechrischapman-blog]

Chris didn’t look up as Dany moved to lean next to him. He wasn’t sure that he could stand to see the look on her face. And you want to do this with everyone you know? the nasty voice in his head questioned. He brought a hand to his mouth, chewing at the edge of his thumbnail as he thought.

“I love her,” he finally said. And he did. He loved how her accent got thicker when she was angry or exhausted. He loved how her face lit up when he really made her smile. He loved that she could list off the bones in his hands as she kissed them. She was the first person who had ever made him so deliriously happy.

And she was also the first person to break his heart. Which was really the problem.

“It was easier in the beginning,” he continued. He’d never had the opportunity to say any of this out loud before—hadn’t ever had any one to talk to or vent to about it—so he wasn’t sure if any of this was going to make sense. “She asked if I was okay with keeping things quiet, and I said yes. I thought she meant a few weeks. And then her reasons for it started feeling…off.” It had felt worse than a fist in the face when her excuse about Peter’s disapproval had fallen through. 

“But I don’t know. I mean. I’m the one who keeps going back.” He sighed and dropped his hand back to the counter. “So I know a lot of this is my fault, but just. Jesus. I love her and I can’t tell anyone about it. What the hell am I supposed to do about that?”

[danylamby-blog]

As much as she didn't enjoy admitting it, Dany wasn't actually that much of a stranger to secrets. Her relationship with her father had sort of broken down after they'd made it to Sawyer. Carson didn't know a thing about what her life had been like in Dublin -- and she'd rather it stayed that way. But she knew that the comparison between herself and Chris wasn't balanced; if she wanted to tell Carson about any aspect of her life, she knew he would listen. Chris hadn't had anyone to talk to.

But he did now.

"You can tell me," Dany said gently. She wasn't going to extol her own capability of keeping a secret -- that would be stupid. She and Chris had only known each other for a short amount of time, but she already trusted him a lot more than she did... well, just about everyone in Sawyer aside from Carson. If he was willing to trust her as well, she'd gladly be a resource for him. Wasn't that what friends were for?

But a part of her knew that her kind disposition toward her fellow townspeople -- just because she didn't trust them didn't mean she wasn't kind -- wasn't completely out of good will. At its core was a desperate hope that the compassion she showed to the people around her would come back to her. So far, it hadn't done much other than earn her a few stiff smiles, but maybe that would change with time.

[luke-holt-deactivated20120710]

pickup | luke, dany & chris

Chris’ car was an easier fix than Luke had been anticipating, which meant he hadn’t had to replace the entire engine after all. He blamed himself for the miscalculation, although it was no doubt brought on by Chris’ mouth and Dany’s subsequent visit to the garage.  She’d left a few hours before and he was still pretty shaken up about it, spending his time making sure Chris’ car was okay before even daring to look at hers. He hadn’t been this upset in years and it was all her fault. He considered screwing her car up worse but that probably wouldn’t fix anything in the long run.

Now he just needed Chris to come and pick up his damn car so Luke never had to look at his face again. It wasn’t his fault the kid couldn’t take a damn joke. It wasn’t like he’d actually kissed him- he probably had some kind of horrible mouth disease anyway- and honestly, who got so upset about something like that? Luke had issues, but that had never extended to how he felt about his appearance. His outside was great. He was fucking handsome. It was his insides that were rotten, and having a good-looking face tempered that the little bit. If he had a guy who looked like he did trying to kiss him, he’d be all up on that shit.

Then again, fucking a doppelganger was about the kinkiest thing he could think of doing. That was actually kind of hot.

Luke finished cleaning out the insides of Chris’ car, vacuuming up the last remnants of dust from the trunk and leaning against the hood. Now he just had to wait. There was no way the kid was showing up by himself again, and Luke wondered who he’d have with him. Maybe Carson. Two good-looking guys for the price of one seemed like a good trade-off.

[danylamby-blog]

Dany had no idea what to make of this week at all. Over the course of a weekend, Sawyer had gone from its usual quiet to a state where journalists pulled quotes from out thin air and mechanics sent her best friend home looking like a sledgehammer had been taken to his face. While Chris and Aaron Chapman had definitely been the silver lining of the clouds that had suddenly rolled in, Dany couldn't help but feel like this little shower was just the prelude to a huge storm. Whether there was merit to that sentiment, or it was just her waiting for the other shoe to drop, she couldn't tell.

As she prepared to knock on the door of the Chapman house, she paused with her hand in mid-air. Did she really need to take Chris with her? After all, Carson had just been to see Luke, and that had apparently not gone over well. She still was not over the haunted look on his face when he'd entered the apartment that they shared, or the assortment of cuts and bruises that currently covered him. He wouldn't talk about it, either: all Carson had said was that the fight had been his fault, and then he wouldn't speak a word more on the matter. Dany wasn't one to press -- Carson couldn't really keep secrets for long.

But Carson hadn't been afraid of Luke, and Chris clearly was. God, why did Luke have to have such a searing effect on everyone he came into contact with? But then she remembered that the younger Chapman's car was still in the shop, and she couldn't very well drive both of their vehicles to their respective homes. And so with a sigh, she gave a few light raps on the front door. Chris worked the night shift at the bar, so she should have been home -- it was only just after her shift at the library. She really did hope he was home; in spite of the time she'd had after catching a ride over from one of her co-workers, she hadn't had the presence of mind to text first.

[danylamby-blog]

ooc: it's been a while since luke's initial post for chris and dany coming to pick up their cars, so i'm going to change some things around timeline-wise (it'll be after the fight between luke and carson, but before luke goes to see bryce), and if anything needs to be tweaked, let me know!

[thechrischapman-blog]

making plans | chris & dany

[thechrischapman-blog]

He watched the emotions flicker across Dany’s face and realized that he didn’t want to answer that question. The truth was this heavy, ugly thing in the pit of his stomach that he tried to avoid thinking about. It was easier to pretend like he hadn’t been with Emily more than a few months—that there was some easy explanation or time limit to this bullshit, that he had a light at the end of the tunnel. But the cold, hard reality of it all was that he didn’t see an end to the lying and the secrets and the crushing inadequacy.

He should be able to be proud of how long they’d been together. He wanted to feel like he could brag about doing something right and managing to have his first real relationship last this long. Instead, he felt pathetic as he dropped his gaze back to the floor and said, “Four years.”

[danylamby-blog]

For a few seconds, Dany's face was completely blank as she tried to process that information. Four years. Forty-eight months of Chris and Emily hiding their relationship from everyone they knew. That was more than a thousand days. At that realization, Dany started to feel outrage slip through the cracks -- how could anyone do that a person?

But then her anger faded as she remembered that it took two to tango, and realized that whatever these two were embroiled in, Chris had agreed to it. She tried to imagine not acknowledging her relationship with Carson: not touching him in public, smiling at him from across the room on those rare occasions they were separated, not being able to tell anyone about how lucky she felt to have him. Not that she had anyone to tell, but still.

And Chris looked so sad telling her, worn down to the point of exhaustion. Dany couldn't find it within herself to criticize. She frowned, but it was mostly with her eyes as she chewed the inside of her cheek.

"Oh, Chris," she sighed, going to lean next to him on the counter. "How did you even do it?"

[danylamby-blog]

　

[danylamby-blog]

TEXT: Well, I don't want you in the same room with him ever again.

TEXT: I'll go with Chris. It'll be fine. Please, don't go.

[danylamby-blog]

TEXT: Your car's ready.

TEXT: :x

Don't go get it? Please? You two shouldn't be in the same room ever again.