why am i only motivated to sort my life out at 3am

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@daphnelena
why am i only motivated to sort my life out at 3am
I think I’m going insane. I’m obsessed. I’m obsessed with people I hate. I’m obsessed with people I love. I’m obsessed with situations. I’m obsessed with the past. I’m obsessed with memories. With feelings. With pain. With food. Anything. Everything. And I don’t know how to stop it.
decided getting emotionally attached to people is out, feeling absolutely nothing whatsoever is in
bpd things
money? yeah, you’re gonna spend it all on useless things like excessive amounts of food and clothes in hope of making yourself feel better. then you’ll regret it five minutes later
you hate yet love everyone and everything. hate. love. hate. love. it’s a never ending, exhausting cycle of intense emotions. there’s no in between
someone doesn’t respond to your message in ten minutes? it’s time to make dramatic assumptions. do they suddenly hate you? are they dead?
you’re slightly inconvenienced? it’s time to commit suicide
all your relationships fail and you just can’t seem to figure out why
you feel like everyone is the same. you see the same pattern over and over again in your relationships and your friends
you feel happy for once? well guess what, in about seven minutes you’ll feel like throwing yourself into traffic because Johnny didn’t want to share his pencil with you
nothing is worse than the overbearing feeling of emptiness that follows you daily and haunts you like a ghost
you’re constantly angry. just the idea of someone breathing in your vicinity is infuriating
baths? did you mean: self-harm hours?
everyone is against you including yourself
who is that in the mirror? is that me? Why do I look like that? I can’t recognize myself
i’m sorry, what did you say? repeat yourself again. and again. sorry, i didn’t hear you. again. repeat yourself for the fifth time, i wasn’t paying attention i guess
you’re useless unless you’re perfect
therapy? no
oh, is that a character I relate to? let me obsess over them for the next nine months
you’re the most evil and horrible person you know, yet simultaneously the most pure and naïve person you know
you feel like the devil when you say no to someone
how about I split on my best friend for the eighth time today for absolutely no reason!
am I abusive? am I like my abusers?
they said something that seemed weird to me… are they going to leave me? Is this the end? Is this all there is? Should I leave them? Maybe I’ll just disappear
you hardly remember anything from before the age of 10
nothing is real. we’re all going to die. nothing matters.
maybe if I get high I won’t overthink everything!
I can make all the sense I want to out of it. Reason and intellectualize away. Whatever. It still hurts.
Once I met you, a little flame ignited. And since then, it never quite died
(via unsaidhabits)
Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.
Joyce Brothers (via mypsychology)
Care for me as I would care for you, that is what we are meant to do.
Nicholas Browne, Haiku 52 of 365 (via wnq-writers)
Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It’s the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.
Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum (via wordsnquotes)