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ALL THE BASICS

Name: Rachel Berry

Age: 27

Occupation: Waitress, Broadway Actress

Location: New York City

THINGS TO REMEMBER

Rachel has had intimate high school relations with: Puck (dated) and Sam (dated).

Everything was pretty perfect for Samchel up until Rachel moved to NYC. Time and distance changed her and before Sam knew it, his three year relationship had ended.

Took the first train to New York City as soon as she graduated to attend a summer program at NYADA then attend their regular school year in the fall.

Rachel was casually hooking up with Brody as soon as she found out that Sam wasn't going to follow her to New York. They officially start dating the summer after her freshman year at NYADA.

Even before Rachel graduated, she was performing in off Broadway shows. Once she finally did graduate she threw herself into her art and went for any and all auditions. As of right now she is working as the lead in a Broadway play and waitressing at the Spotlight Diner for some extra money.

CONNECTIONS

Sam Evans -- "Um, I don't recall agreeing to answer questions circling around my past. I feel the need to tell you that I'm uncomfortable talking about my ex-fiance and I don't know how much I'll actually be able to say about him. You see, I did something I deeply regret to someone whom I love very very much. I don't know how I can take it back or fix it so I'd rather not talk about it at all. Excuse me? Well, yes. He wasn't just my boyfriend, he proposed to me before I moved to New York. Okay, yes I did cheat on him but no I am no longer seeing the person I cheated on him with. Honestly, it was a huge mistake. I'd rather get intimate with Santana than ever see the likes of him again. I think that's enough questions about Sam. Like I've previously stated, I am not entirely comfortable with the idea of talking about him. I haven't spoken to him since that summer I said goodbye but I have taken it upon myself to check up on him from time to time. I know he's doing well with his designing, at least that's what it seems like from his Facebook updates. If I could talk to him one last time, I'd apologize for how stupid I was and tell him how much I still love him. I let my ambition get in the way of something really special and there's nothing I regret more than hurting him like I did."

Noah Puckerman -- "My relationship with Noah has seen some crazy turns. Before I dated Finn or Sam, I was with Noah. It was quite an odd get together since the only thing we had in common was our Jewish heritage. Evidently, that was really all we needed to start something between us. Our intimate relationship (or lack thereof) was short lived, lasting a mere couple of months. He decided to have relations with his best friend's girlfriend, therefore I chose to have relations with his best friend. Safe to say that didn't quite work out either. In high school, Noah was one of those bad boy types, destined to date a cheerleader or two and I knew that fame was my true mistress. Noah and I lost contact for a while. It wasn't until I saw him assaulting Brody at a bar that we reconnected. I came at a perfect time because he was looking really rough. Truth be told, he wasn't looking as bad as Santana was but it was still pretty bad. Knowing I couldn't just leave my blast from the pasts, I brought him and Santana home. It was refreshing to find out that Noah had a plan and just needed a little push. That was exactly what I did. I helped him move out of his sad excuse for an apartment and into one on campus so he could put a little more focus into his studies."

Santana Lopez -- "If you told my high school self that I would ever call Santana Lopez my best friend, I would've probably spontaneously combust into flames. Which, I might add, would be rather unfortunately seeing as I was needed these past few years. Santana and I were never really friends or acquaintances in high school. The only thing shared between us was insults. Her girlfriend Brittany was nice enough but she was like Satan himself. My best friend at the time, Kurt, dubbed her Satan when we were freshmen. I'm happy to say that things have kind of made a turn for the better. We still get into scuffles from time to time, and yes the intensity is still there but this time around it's mutually understood that it sprouts mostly from being around each other too much and not actual hatred. I wasn't even aware Santana was in New York her first go around or I would of stopped her destructive ways sooner. When I found her and Noah there in that bar that night I knew I couldn't let her leave. She was broken and lost, two things I was pretty familiar with. She's a lot better now than she was a couple years ago. She says she's perfectly fine but I'm not entirely convinced so I keep an 'annoyingly close eye on her' as she calls it. I know it bothers her but I can't let her relapse a second time."

#char: rachel

ALL THE BASICS

Name: Santana Lopez

Age: 27

Occupation: Waitress, Aspiring Singer

Location: New York City

THINGS TO REMEMBER

Santana has had intimate high school relations with: Puck (hooked up), Sam (dated), and Brittany (dated).

The Brittana break up was messy. The two were trying to have a healthy long distance relationship but towards the end there was more fighting than anything else. The two split shortly after Brittany’s graduation and haven’t spoken since.

Dropped out of the University of Louisville after the first semester then headed to New York City to start her singing career.

Found that a relationship with drugs and alcohol was a lot easier than with people. She's hooked up with her dealer a couple times and a few other random girls but nothing happened sober.

Santana took to couch hopping at each of her hook ups house's but she mostly stayed with her dealer who became her friend and confidant. Stayed with Puck after he found her, but now currently lives with Rachel and works as a waitress at the Spotlight Diner.

CONNECTIONS

Brittany Pierce -- "People have pretty much stopped saying her name around me after I almost took off a kid's head when he asked who the blonde chick was in the picture he found in my wallet. A lot of people think she died and I don't really blame them, I sure as hell was acting like she was gone. This is the first time I've heard her name in years. It's kinda weird. She was, is, my ex-girlfriend. I haven't talked to her since we broke up and I really don't know what I'd do if I ever saw her again. What's with all the questions about her? Look, I told you everything you're going to get out of me about her. Stop asking about her because I'm done talking about her. Next question. God damn it. Yes. Yes, I miss her. She was the reason I came out, got disowned by my grandmother, and faced all the torment of being openly gay. She just had a way of making everything okay even when things were complete shit. I love her. No, I don't mean 'loved', I mean I love her. Probably always will but that doesn't matter because I heard she's with the jesus freak now. Which is so fucking weird I don't even want to talk about it. If I ever see Kitty again I'm probably going to kill her. And don't get me started with Sam. Friend my ass. I know he had something to do with them getting together."

Noah Puckerman -- "Fuckerman is my best friend. I always thought he was going to be stuck in Lima like all the other Lima losers back home but he finally grew some and manned up. We've been through more than I really want to admit to right now but what it comes down to is that he's a really good hook up and an even better friend. What? Yeah. I'm a lesbian but having sex with Puck isn't really anything. Plus, I haven't done anything with anyone sober since, well you know, since Brittany. Fuck, yeah sorry that sounded way too weird. I thought hearing her name was bad, saying it is worse. Anyway, when Puck found me in that strip club, he didn't have to do anything. He could of just left me but he didn't. I put up a fight but he got me back home and into recovery. Sucks to say that it didn't last that long but the second round of hitting rock bottom was probably the best time I've ever had. He was my partner in crime, we fucked many a bitch, fucked each other, and blew our senses into oblivion every night. It was all pretty great until reality landed us on our asses. We were 22 and still messing around like we were in high school. I don't know why but I gave up when I was 19 and that's when life basically starts for people. I wanted to get my shit together but let's be real, that wasn't going to happen with mr. awesome influence over here."

Rachel Berry -- "Pretty sure Puck already said it but I'm gonna say it again. Rachel Berry is a lifesaver. I can only speak for myself but there's doubt that this dwarf saved me. She basically found us on one of the worst days of my life. For some reason I was in an angry high and picked a couple of fights with the wrong people. One kid named Brody didn't really appreciate it and started beating on me. Puck stepped in and kicked his ass. I'm as tough as any other Latin woman in my family but still no match for a sober dude. Turns out that he was dating Rachel. Could of sworn she turned into Casper the sickly ghost that night. I don't know how she did it, maybe got all her friends from the shire to help but she managed to get both of us back to her apartment. I woke up to show tunes being sung obnoxiously loud and the smell of dead grass. That morning she set the both of us straight. If I had any energy I would of probably punched her for trying to control my life but I was pretty grateful that she did. She forced me to move in and made Puck move onto campus. We never really got along in high school. I mean, we had our moments but a lot of them were me cutting her ego in half. We've gotten freakishly close the past few years, and I can honestly say I like her as a friend - sometimes. She still gets under my skin but it's a more love hate at this point."

#char: santana

ALL THE BASICS

Name: Noah 'Puck' Puckerman

Age: 27

Occupation: Intern

Location: New York City

THINGS TO REMEMBER

Puck has had intimate high school relations with: Brittany (hooked up), Santana (hooked up), Rachel (dated), and Kitty (dated).

Puckerwilde tried the whole long distance thing while Kitty was still a junior. Puck went off to start his pool cleaning business in California but it completely tanked and he ended up right back in Lima. It seemed like Puck was going nowhere fast, Kitty knew she had to get out of small town living so she dumped him during her senior year. Aside from the casual instagram likes, the two don’t communicate.

After his attempt to start a pool cleaning business in California failed, he returned to Lima and worked in Kurt's dad's car garage to make some extra cash on top of his pool business. He used the money to pay for community college.

Puck got with every girl he could. He played the field and worked that small town like it was his bitch. By the end of his freshman year of school he'd hooked up with every available girl on campus, so he widened his horizons and started hooking up with the girls that went to their local university.

He got his associates degree from the community college then transferred to NYU. He is currently in the last leg of his internship with a scriptwriter to gain some experience before branching out on his own.

CONNECTIONS

Kitty Wilde -- "She's a cheerleader I dated back in high school. No idea why I thought hitting that would be a good idea. She's almost a clone of my other psycho ex, Quinn Fabray. Honestly, that's probably why I was so into her. Dude, I know I called her psycho but if you saw Kitty, you'd be into her too. But hands off, if she wasn't with Brittany right now, I'd deck the dude she was with. I know I didn't deserve her before but she's the reason I got my shit together. I was a lima loser back then, but now I'm getting paid to sit around and read. If that's not living the life I don't know what is. I mean, there's obviously more but I'm pretty good with where my life is right now. I really want to shove it in her face and show her that I have goals and all that other bullshit she said I didn't have when she broke up with me. I don't really care about what people think about me, but I care about what she thinks. I don't know why, it's just how it is sometimes. But she's still a total bitch, which is why I wouldn't be caught dead talking to her no matter how much I want to prove."

Santana Lopez -- "Lopez. We've hooked up a couple times in high school. I know my man Sam dated the entire Unholy Trinity, but I was the first to tap them all, even did Santana and Brittany together a couple of times. We didn't really get on that best friend level until she hit rock bottom. We were hook ups and friends before but not like this. I randomly found her drugged up at a strip club when I was in New York City for spring break my freshman year of college. I thought I was a mess, but damn I've never seen her so low before. I have my fair share of addictions, mostly alcohol like my dead beat dad. But I knew I couldn't just leave her hanging so I dragged her back to Lima with me. While I was in school, she was recovering. When I got my associates degree I brought her to NYC with me. She kind of relapsed and this time around I got dragged into it too. This is why I graduated a little late. Don't judge me, it was a fun time. The first eight months we were in NYC was a huge blur. All we did was drink, do drugs, and fuck. I know she's a lesbian but I'll take whatever I can get."

Rachel Berry -- "Rachel is literally a lifesaver. Not like the candy, but for real for real. I gotta admit that I was in a pretty bad place. I felt bad for myself, I saw how easy it was for Santana to get lost in that psychedelic world and I wanted in on it. Yeah, I got an associates degree but classes at NYU were kicking my ass and I just couldn't keep up. It was really good luck that I chose to start a fight with Rachel's new boyfriend Brody at the bar one night or else we would of never cross paths. He was banged up pretty bad, I mean have you seen these guns? But, Rachel was in shock to see me and Santana so she wasn't really paying attention. Probably a little more because we looked like complete coke heads. We stayed at Rachel's place that night and in the morning she basically talked us both into getting our shit together. You know shit's bad when you're throwing up in Rachel Berry's living room while she makes you vegan bullshit to eat. I couldn't tell if I was throwing up from my hangover or the food. Our rehab basically started there. Santana moved in with Rachel and I moved onto campus. Now I'm here."

#char: puck

ALL THE BASICS

Name: Sam Evans

Age: 26

Occupation: Storyboard Artist at Pixar

Location: Los Angeles

THINGS TO REMEMBER

Sam has had intimate high school relations with: Santana (dated), Brittany (dated), and Rachel (dated).

Everything was pretty perfect for Samchel up until Rachel moved to NYC. Time and distance changed her and before he knew it, his three year relationship had ended.

Entered a storyboard contest for a test pilot cartoon his senior year and won. Got the attention of Pixar producers and they flew him out to see the rest of his work. Satisfied with what they saw, they offered him a full scholarship to CSUFRES if he agreed to work with them after graduation. Sam readily agreed and went to CSUFRES in the fall.

Once in California, Sam channeled all his energy into his schoolwork. He went on a few dates, mostly the ones Brittany and Kitty set him up on but nothing ever became serious.

Due to focusing solely on his work, Sam graduated early. As promised, he went straight to work for Pixar.

CONNECTIONS

Rachel Berry -- "I really don't want to talk about her. It's a pretty lame story anyway. The movies make it look a lot better. Fine. Whatever. I guess you could say she was my high school sweetheart. I just got out of this weird thing where I dated all three corners of the Unholy Trinity, don't ask. Point is, we started hanging out at the end of her sophomore year. She was dating this dude, Finn who pretty much stole Quinn from me but nevermind, he had this big blowout with her gay best friend Kurt so that ended. By the time summer came around she was mine. We were, well at least I thought we were perfect. Well, as perfect as a football player dating a self proclaimed diva could get. I proposed to her the summer before she left for New York. Not because I wanted to tie her down but as a promise that even if we were miles away, she was still the only for me. She agreed that she was ready for this. We got through Thanksgiving, winter break, and spring break fine, I mean she was kinda weird about me committing to Cali but I knew we'd get through it. But when she came home for he summer things went bad fast. She told me she cheated on me with some kid named Brody and that our lives were going in separate directions. Apparently she only came back to get her stuff and say goodbye. The rest is history. See? I told you it was lame."

Kitty Wilde -- "Finally someone I actually want to talk about. Wait, what did she say about me? Actually, no don't tell me, I know what she said. Kitty has been my best friend since I moved to Lima from Tennessee. She didn't accept it until a few months in, but I knew she'd come around. We were pretty much raised with the same values, she just took it to a scary level in high school. I get it though, she's a preacher's daughter. I kinda expected her to be like the ones on TV but she wasn't. We've been through a lot and I know I can count on her whenever I need anything. When my family lost our house she came over to the motel to help me take care of Stacy and Stevie. And as much as I loved being White Chocolate at that gay stripper bar, I'm glad she found me and knocked some sense into me before I got caught up in the glitz and glam of tight underwear and sword fights. She thinks she owes me for giving her that last push to ask Brittany out so she's been trying to set me up on these blind dates but I don't know, I guess I'm just not ready for that yet."

Brittany Pierce -- "Haha, sweet I get to talk about my ex-wife. Just kidding, we weren't really married, well we thought we were but we really weren't. We also thought the world was going to end, but that didn't happen either, it's a good thing though because it would really suck dying while being fake married. Brittany was the last of the Unholy Trinity that I dated, it didn't feel like we were really dating though. It was more like hardcore sibling love. Okay, yeah, that's gross and sort of like incest but apparently we looked like poster kids for Hitler's Aryan race. That was pretty offensive to my bro Puck and leading lady Rachel so we ended things. It was a pretty easy break since Santana was going to kill me if I let it go on for any longer anyway. I love Britt like a sister, when we're drunk we pretend to be British twins, it's pretty funny. I'm glad my two best friends are dating but you'd think they'd be too in love to think about anything else but no. Britt still finds the time to talk me up to every single non-lady loving girl she knows. She's been trying to use her therapist tactics on me and get me to have a real session with her but there's no way I'm letting Britt be my shrink and counsel me to get over Rachel. That's a little weird. Plus, I'm fine.. I'm totally fine.."

#char: sam

ALL THE BASICS

Name: Kitty Wilde

Age: 26

Occupation: Lawyer

Location: Los Angeles

THINGS TO REMEMBER

Kitty has had intimate high school relations with: Puck (dated).

Applied for early decision to UCB to major in Legal Studies.

Started officially dating Brittany her senior year of college. The two have since moved in together and have a six month old puppy.

After finishing law school, she opened up her own practice. She fights for the LGBTQ community and volunteers with youth groups at different churches to help teens understand that the church isn't against same sex issues.

CONNECTIONS

Brittany Pierce -- "How did I know you people were going to ask about her. I don't know if I can do this, I'm going to sound like one of those love struck twelve year olds talking about Justin Bieber. Ugh, okay this is so embarrassing but Brittany is the second half of Mrs. and Mrs. WildePierce. I swear she made it up, not me. You have to admit it's awesome and true. We both have kickass careers and kickass bodies to match. Best power couple since Beyonce and JayZ. Best part of this whole crazy thing is that she was my best friend before she became my girlfriend. I don't know why I didn't ask her sooner. We've only been together for four years but I can't remember what it was like without her. All I know is that it pretty much sucked. I'd do anything for this girl, she's my first girlfriend, well really my first anything when it comes to girls and hopefully my last. Please stop me if I start to sound dumber than I already do. Anyway, yeah, so she can pretty much get me to do anything, get her ice cream, calm down, and even get a puppy. So, Britt and I are working like crazy people trying to finish school and start practicing and she says we should get a dog? I kept telling her no because we don't have time but she broke me down and I agreed to do it after things got settled. That was two years ago. Apparently she remembered and now we have Chancellor. Chance for short. Well, Chancellor is short for his full name too but I just call him Chance. You have to ask Brittany about his full name because I can't really do it with a straight face. Am I done now? Can I just say I love her and be done because I think I've talked enough about her. Okay. I love Britt, bye."

Noah Puckerman -- "He's just this loser I dated back in high school. Haven't really heard from him after I ended it, but I don't care. He's probably still stuck in Lima cleaning pools and hooking up with people's wives. Everyone loves a bad boy but you couldn't of paid me to stay in that soulless town. Him and his brother are complete idiots, smokin' hot, but still two of the biggest idiots I've ever met"

Sam Evans -- "Lipo Lips is my best friend, haha. I'll bet money that Britt called him Sami Sweetheart. He hates it but we had a Jersey Shore marathon and Britt found it hilarious so it stuck. Anyway, my friendship with Sam is just really weird. I was kinda this huge bitch to everyone back in high school because I was a huge bible thumper and decided to idolize his ex-girlfriend Quinn Fabray who was 50 shades of psycho. Don't get me wrong, she's still iconic but still. You know? So yeah, but somehow he let all my insults roll off his shoulders and we became pretty close. I seriously can't thank him enough for everything he's done for me. We've been through a lot and I hate to admit it but I owe him. Especially since he gave me the biggest figurative smack in the face that got me to ask out Brittany. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be as happy as I am now and this is going to sound really sappy but, I already talked about Brittany so whatever -- I can't really imagine my life any other way. I keep trying to pay my debt and set him up with someone but Rachel messed him up pretty bad. If I ever see her again I can't be held responsible for what I do to her."

#char: kitty

ALL THE BASICS

Name: Brittany Pierce

Age: 27

Occupation: Therapist

Location: Los Angeles

THINGS TO REMEMBER

Brittany has had intimate high school relations with: Puck (hooked up), Sam (dated), and Santana (dated).

Turned down MIT to finish the school year off at McKinley and graduate with Sam and Kitty, then went to UCB in the fall.

Started officially dating Kitty her senior year of college. The two have since moved in together and have a six month old puppy.

After getting her PhD in Psychiatry, she opened up her own practice. Her hobbies include: dancing, exercising, and lots of lady sex.

CONNECTIONS

Kitty Wilde -- "Kitty is the Marlin to my Dory. The Buttercup to my Bubbles. The Mr. Fredricksen to my Russell. I could probably name every awesome duo ever but I think you get the picture. She's my best friend and girlfriend. We've been together for five years, lived together for three, and I finally talked her into getting a dog! Well, okay, he's still a puppy right now but he'll be a dog one day. I know how she can come off to people but trust me, she's not as scary as she seems. She's actually really brave. She's going to kill me for saying this but whatever, she can deal with it. So, her family raised her super religious and she was kinda against the whole same sex thing in high school. I know, hard to believe if you talk to her now. Anyway, when she got to college and out from under her parents' thumb, things started to change. It was pretty awesome to watch. It was like a butterfly turning into a bigger and better butterfly. She totally realized that gay was okay and boom, mine. Okay, it didn't really happen like that, but you get the picture. I love my Kitkat better than the chocolate versions of her and if you don't hear from me again, she probably killed me for saying all these things."

Santana Lopez -- "Oh. Yeah, me and Santana haven't talked to each other since the break up. I don't really have anything to say to her. I miss her, she was my first best friend. I had a lot of firsts with her, at one point I thought maybe she was going to be my first and last but I don't know, I guess I was wrong. I've thought about calling her or something but it's just been so long that I wouldn't even know what to say, so I don't. She's probably working on her album or planning a tour or something like that. I know she's doing great out in New York. The last thing I heard was that she moved in with Rachel. Kinda weird, but I guess Santana was onto something when she gave Rachel the nickname Gayberry."

Sam Evans -- "Sami Sweetheart! Oh my god, I'm just kidding. He hates when I call him that. But, I do it anyway because he's my other best friend and he knows I love him. We dated back in high school but those days are over. I like him way better as a friend than as a boyfriend, so he's been forever friend-zoned. Sam didn't go to school with me and Kitty, after graduation he went to CSUFRES, but we'd all take turns driving up and down to see each other. I've done that drive so many times that I'm pretty sure I can do it with my eyes closed. Sam graduated early and moved into the city. He moved right around the time me and Kitty were like, talking-talking. He's a pretty good wingman because he totally helped me get hitched. If it weren't for him, I probably wouldn't be dating Kitty right now. I keep trying to you know, return the favor and get him hitched but I think he's still hung up on Rachel."

#char: brittany

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