ベラ

Blog to vent and rant about various things ♡ This is a side blog, main: writing-bella ♡ She/her ♡ 23yo ♡ pro-recovery

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Good news

MY MOM AND MY STEPDAD FINALLY GOT MARRIED

MY BROTHER AND I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR OVER TEN YEARS

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Someone has seen that Menhera test going around in Twitter?

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I've been getting really stressed and anxious for not having a job, but then I also feel anxious about getting a job.

I do want to work, I want to get my own money, I want to start my projects, but my first real work experience was with customer service in a call center and it was traumatizing, even my brother and my sister-in-law say so.

I'm a professional psychologist, I have extra qualifications, I'm bilingual and I have won writing contests with published stories in anthology books, and I'm still doing nothing, still unable to get a job, am I not trying hard enough?

Hopefully this year I'll be able to get a good job, I'll keep trying and waiting for a good opportunity.

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I'm quite drunk right now, anyone wants to talk?

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IT'S HAPPENING

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I'm so bored, please someone give me a beer or whatever with alcohol

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All my love I had to wear uniform, at school and even for college, not always but wearing it most of the time saved me from thinking too much about what outfit I should wear the next day.

Now in my job there's no uniform, I think I finally understood what it's like to have your outfit, accessories and makeup as your shield, I feel that my outfit and my phone are really the only protection I have out there.

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I signed a contract, got a stomach ache.

First week on my new job, and get sick with congestion, fever, and cough.

The world really wants to keep me unemployed.

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I'm ready to quit

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Even my mom wants me out of this job lmao

I definitely have to quit after the next payment and find something else

[dark4pink]

I signed a contract, got a stomach ache.

First week on my new job, and get sick with congestion, fever, and cough.

The world really wants to keep me unemployed.

[dark4pink]

I'm ready to quit

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I signed a contract, got a stomach ache.

First week on my new job, and get sick with congestion, fever, and cough.

The world really wants to keep me unemployed.

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Something happened at home, I know my family is trying to act around me like everything is ok, but I already know.

At this point I don't even have the energy to feel angry or feel anything at all, I love them but I'm tired, I feel that emptiness coming again.

I'm just tired.

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I told her that I was sad and suspecting the start of a depressive episode and she just ignores and keeps talking about whatever the fuck else and her boyfriend, then it isn't until I made it clear that I'm angry that she asks and gives me a half-assed apology, honestly go fuck yourself you fucking bitch.

At the end it turns out it isn't the start of a depressive episode, I was just feeling down and I didn't eat for most of the day, after eating and talking with my mom I was better, but I'm still upset at her ignoring me like that. I'm there for her when she needs it and I know when she's feeling bad just by how she starts the conversation through text, but she can't ask how I am when I explicitly say I'm sad and until I get angry.

Might be my avoidant shit of whatever but I'll try not texting her back for some days at least

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Someone please tell me that I'm cute and pretty :"3

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Why my brother can always get my parents to listen to him, but I have to put on so muche effort, sometimes in vain, to get them to listen to me.

Why they talks with him about family stuff but they never tell me anything.

I know there was a time where I was distant, I was a teen that was dealing with too much, it's been years, I'm an adult and they still look at me like that? I try to talk, I try to connect, I ask them stuff but at the end no one talks with me until they see me breaking down, is that really the only way I can get their attention? By being completely broken?

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God I'm so embarrassing

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I know I'm sort of an alcoholic, but this is the first time I'm drunk at a bar with fried and staying until late, I was always a kind of sheltered kid. This feels lol I've life

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I'm sure i'm drunk but I think not more than my friends