darkacadanxious

22yr old; potentially bisexual, definitely a wreck, hyper-fixated poet on occasion, and cool posts I find :)

[darkacadanxious]

I listened to the SUIT (Shut Up I’m Talking) podcast today with Technodad as a guest and I did not expect to cry again.

Technodad was talking about the Books of Condolences, and I remembered that I was on Hypixel and submitted one myself. I am really glad that I did that, it makes me feel a little less small in this big world. Like being able to spread kindness and love to people far and wide, and know your message was received.

Its been 3 years. I miss him a lot. Part of me wants to still pursue my dream of YouTube in his honour, but I’m pretty scared.

Technoblade never dies.

[succulentsiren]

How to Prioritize Yourself

(in other words, how to put yourself 1st)

1. Before making a decision, ask yourself, “Is this beneficial for me?”

2. Second ask yourself, “Do I want to do this? If so why?” Make sure that whatever you do is serving your best interests.

3. Always take care of your needs. Treat yourself like you would your child. Maintain your basic hygiene. Make sure you've eaten and drank water. Keep up with your skin care. Give yourself compliments and support your dreams. Be financially stable and provide security for yourself. Give yourself everything you desire.

4. Don’t rush or let others push you into doing something you don’t want to.

5. Put your standards on the pedestal. Form your own judgement about things and don’t be persuaded easily.

6. Do what you set your mind to regardless of opposition.

7. Always be in tune with what you desire and never compromise your standards.

8. Fill your own cup first. Invest in yourself.

9. Set clear boundaries and start saying no when you mean it.

10. Release all shame surrounding your self prioritization. Understand, people won’t care about your wellbeing. You have to be the one looking out for you.

11. Gate-keep yourself from those undeserving of your love and energy.

12. Don't tell all your business. Move in silence and cherish your privacy.

13. Stay self-sufficient.

14. Do the things YOU enjoy. Have your favorite cup of coffee. Eat your favorite snack. Watch your favorite show. Do tarot readings. Read occult books. Wear makeup. Dress up. Don't shrink your beliefs, lifestyle or presence just because someone else disagrees with it.

15. Ignore unsolicited advice.

16. Stop trying to prove your worth and just be. You are already enough as you are. You habe nothing further to prove.

[darkacadanxious]

Funny how love and blood share a symbolic colour. It's almost like the poets watched a lonely heart bleed and whispered to each other, "How beautiful."

-darkacadanxious

[clandestinegardenias]

My therapist just told me my problem is that I need to write more fanfiction.

[clandestinegardenias]

This sounds fake but the logic behind it is actually really interesting? She said obsession with a new fandom triggers quick dopamine release when we consume all this related content--it's easy and addictive.

What we're NOT getting is that 'slow dopamine' that's more sustainable and engaging. That's the kind we get from DOING things that take effort but are ultimately rewarding.

So like, she suggested that writing fic and making fanart are ways to balance the quick dopamine of watching a show/reading fic with the slow dopamine of working at something that takes effort.

Moral of the story is you should engage in the process of creation around your favorite things. You'll feel better for it.

[owldaughter]

Oh.

OH.

[dduane]

Let's all go do fandom.

FOR SCIENCE!

:)

[abernathyvalois]

How about in 2024 we stop it with reading books with the goal in mind to finish the book so you can add it to your list of read books and start reading books slowly and intentionally with the goal to rip it into pieces with your mind and be touched by it and formed by it and changed by it

[weltenwellen]

A Conversation with Richard Siken by Thomas Hobohm

[creepingintheivy]

I think I will make this my handwriting now

[metamorphesque]

Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible. 

Carl Jung, “Memories, Dreams, Reflections”

I am constantly trying to communicate something incommunicable, to explain something inexplicable, to tell about something I only feel in my bones and which can only be experienced in those bones. 

Franz Kafka, “Letters to Milena”

[soracities]

It’s so hard to speak and say things that cannot be said. It’s so silent.

—Clarice Lispector, Agua Viva

[latibule-e-deactivated20231012]

Do you understand yourself? You are attempting to express such inexpressible things.

— Henry Miller, from “A Literate Passion: Letters of Anaïs Nin & Henry Miller.”

[darkacadanxious]

Silence such as this, imprisons even the most kind-hearted people. Their minds torment them to madness.

Please, don’t forget about us. We are mute, but we scream.

- darkacadanxious

[archaic-stranger]

dark academia - self care edition

i’m on a school break this week and i’ve been trying to find ways to rest/recharge while i have the time, so here’s a list of some academia-themed self care ideas <3

brew a cup of your favorite tea and look out the window for a bit

cut up some fruit to eat and arrange it nicely on a plate

reread an old favorite book - or just your favorite chapters

bake something or make a nice dinner for yourself

lie on the floor for and listen to music

watch a documentary about something you find interesting, even if it’s one you’ve seen before

put on classical music and take a long bath/shower

make origami with book pages

read some poetry, or write some of your own

light a candle and watch the flame

if you’re religious or spiritual, spend some extra time on your prayers/meditation

buy flowers for yourself (optional: press them between heavy books so you can keep them forever)

tidy your desk

go outside barefoot and stand in the grass until you feel just a little bit cold, then wrap yourself in a blanket to warm up

write yourself a love letter and seal it with wax

as lovely as it is, learning can be quite rigorous and it’s important to avoid burnout. take some time and do something kind for yourself - you deserve it! i love you all and i hope you do something beautiful today <3

[wedarkacademia]

[fairydrowning]

"I want to live simply. I want to sit by the window when it rains and read books I'll never be tested on. I want to paint because I want to, not because I've got something to prove. I want to listen to my body, fall asleep when the moon is high and wake up slowly, with no place to rush off to. I want not to be governed by money or clocks or any of the artificial restraints that humanity imposes on itself. I just want to be, boundless and infinite."

– Via "svnflower-blog" on Tumblr

[darkacadanxious]

“Blood is bound by blood,

Many do believe.

But if red is the only colour seen,

What can one but grieve?”

-darkacadanxious

Little snippet from and unfinished poem in my notes.

[darkacadanxious]

“I think it’s funny how there are people scrambling to put a pin (so to speak) in what ‘human’ is. When really, you can’t define something that changes and evolves so fluidly like it has. And if you look around, to be ‘human’ is to be different. I like to think that’s the beauty of it.”

@me after reading “A Strange New World” by Carl Trueman. The book was gifted to me by a friend.

[darkacadanxious]

“My dearest, don’t fret. You are young, and learning how to live.”

-darkacadanxious

[flowerytale]

Clarice Lispector, from The Hour of the Star

[darkacadanxious]

“What is love, but hopeless longing and endless torment?”

- darkacadanxious

Short cut of a poem I wrote a while back.

[thoughtkick]

“Stay single until someone actually complements your life in a way that makes it better not to be single. If not, it’s not worth it.”

— Unknown