Darkishappy-2872

i am Dark

[pukicho]

My hand smells like sulfur holy shit it’s like poison death, it’s like what mammoths died in I am so strong 

[darkishappy-2872]

yeah but have you seen the ps5 stream

[pukicho]

I could rid your body of all moisture and nutrients with one wave of my stench hand

[darkishappy-2872]

yeah ok living pikachu plush

[darkishappy-2872]

i want to get an E2 tank engine so i can make it able to transform into a god damn metal gear whenever i wanted to cause chaos in my local town

[darkishappy-2872]

bad and naughty children get their limbs ripped off and turned into generators

[darkishappy-2872]

i just thought about this and...

if a woman is a himbo, does that make her a herbo? if a nonbinary is a himbo, does it make them a thembo? if a thing is a himbo, does that make it an itbo? so many questions with so little answers and i need those answers

[darkishappy-2872]

i hear voices in my head when its silent but instead of traumatizing me like schizophrenia usually does they just... compliment me????????????? like, thank you ghost person??????????????????????????????????? the fuck??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

[darkishappy-2872]

hyenas are just savannah dogs and nothing can change my mind about wanting to pet one

[darkishappy-2872]

if my internet providers started actually caring about my wifi instead of buying crack and hookers with the money I pay them I'd be able to go a week without shooting their place up.

[1-eagle-eye]

I've seen enough of your posts just scrolling down that you're clearly just an agitated 9 year old spending too much time on the internet looking at things not suitable for your age as you desperately try to look like a badass.

Cringe 100%.

[darkishappy-2872]

i would say “did i ask” but considering your level of bullshitting i think i’ll keep my mouth shut because i don’t wanna argue with someone who can barely make assumptions based on their lack of facts.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*through tears* please stop i don’t know what pog is

[darkishappy-2872]

just look up the full word poggers

[darkishappy-2872]

mcdonalds puts 80 pounds of salt in every meal

that's fucking wack

ima get burger king instead

[darkishappy-2872]

A

[darkishappy-2872]

if my internet providers started actually caring about my wifi instead of buying crack and hookers with the money I pay them I'd be able to go a week without shooting their place up.

[darkishappy-2872]

I've started to associate a made up voice in my brain when reading the tumblr posts of pukicho and gaud

neither of which sound anywhere near something I would want to hear calling my name when my mcdonalds order is made

considering I dont want anyone knowing my name in the first place.

[darkishappy-2872]

man i am NOT ready for spring, the second february 1st hits I'm going to be sneezing like a goddamn febreeze bottle

[darkishappy-2872]

daylight savings doesnt exist, people just lag so hard they go back an hour

[darkishappy-2872]

ok time to disappear until next halloween where i’ll be doing some spooky shit

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

oh! oh oh oh! I got commissioned to do another ‘sustainable woodland management’ post! so you’re getting: CIRCUS TREES

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

circus trees are not actually traditional or what I would call ‘woodland management’. unlike my posts on espalier & coppicing, circus trees aren’t useful so much as a horticultural novelty. they are, in fact, a living art form created by tree shaping. furthermore, they were all created by one person–Axel Erlandson. 

that’s because ‘circus tree’ actually refers to trees from the Tree Circus, a 1940s tourist attraction created by Erlandson and his family. Erlandson, a Swedish immigrant and farmer, spent decades shaping trees as a hobby, before eventually deciding to display them as a roadside attraction. though often featured in Ripley’s Believe It or Not!, changes in highway routes made it difficult for the Tree Circus to attract crowds. 

The Tree Circus and its trees have changed homes several times–in the 1970s it was re-invented as a short-lived dinosaur park, before being scheduled to be bulldozed, before being granted a reprieve due to community outcry, before being granted another reprieve by real estate bankruptcy. 

Eventually the trees found their current home in Gilroy Gardens, a “garden themed” theme park where the trees remain a center attraction. Perhaps the most famous is the “Basket Tree” which is admittedly…quite beautiful. 

Erlandson created the Basket Tree by grafting together 6 young sycamore saplings. The tree you see above is the result of decades of growth and care.

It’s all a weird, uniquely American story–an immigrant farmer takes the (heh) fruits of a lifelong labor of love, and turns it into a struggling tourist attraction. blundering capitalism almost destroys the circus trees but community outcry (and blundering capitalism) ultimately save them–by giving them their own theme park.  

I find it all bizarre & beautiful & a little bit hopeful, how there’s still room in this world for strangeness & oddities to be created and to grow. fun fact: the trees are only alive today bc of continuing care, including the efforts of a young group of activists who continually risked arrest to water & feed the trees in the late 70s.

my ko-fi

[darkishappy-2872]

who the fuck is making pretzel trees for a living

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

anyone else want to descend into the underworld & battle the demons of hell with me? but like, platonically 

[darkishappy-2872]

fuck yeah dude lets rip and tear some sinners to superhell where they belong